Fic: Talk to Me (1/1)

[inell@xxxxxxx]

Title: Talk to Me
Author: Inell
Email: Inell@xxxxxxx
Disclaimer: Joss owns them all
Distribution: My site, Kiss or Kill, 
http://members.fortunecity.com/kissorkill Anyone that has permission, take. 
Otherwise, just ask.
Rating: R
Feedback is a bright light at the end of a wintery day.
Pairing: Willow/Buffy
Notes: Set during my own Season 7
Notes2: Just something short that has been nagging me to be written. Promise 
to update current fics next. Did ya miss me? ;)


TALK TO ME (1/1)


Willow looked up at the stars, a soft sigh escaping her lips as she leaned 
her head back for a better view. The house behind her was silent, empty for 
the moment. There was a light on in the living room, the rest of the house 
dark. Buffy and Dawn had joined Xander for patrol, having been gone nearly 
two hours now. Willow hadn't been invited. She had been home for nearly two 
months and yet her friends still didn’t trust her. In a way, she didn’t 
blame them. She didn’t really trust herself. How could she expect them to 
include her in patrols when they rarely looked her in the eyes? It didn’t 
make it hurt any less, though. She deserved it. Hell, she deserved far worse. 
Having her friends not trust her was far too little a price to pay for having 
murdered someone. Willow snorted at that. Murdered, tortured, tried to kill 
everyone she loved…the list was far too horrible to think about. Insome 
ways, she wished Giles had just killed her or locked her up somewhere for an 
eternity or two. 


She was so caught up in her thoughts that she didn’t hear the back door open 
or the creak of the steps. She jumped in surprise when she felt a hand touch 
her shoulder. Startled green eyes looked up into concerned hazel eyes. 
"Buffy! You scared me!" Willow said, wondering when the slayer had gotten 
home.


"I said your name several times," Buffy said, adding, "If I’d been a demon or 
vampire, you’d be dead."


"Guess it’s lucky that you’re just a slayer," Willow said softly as she 
looked away from her friend.


"Can I sit?" Buffy asked as she nervously chewed on her bottom lip. 


"It’s your yard," Willow pointed out as she continued to study the stars.


"It’s our yard," Buffy said as she took a seat on the grass beside her best 
friend. The blonde looked at the sky and smiled softly, "It’s a beautiful 
night."


"Yeah," Willow agreed before asking, "how was patrol?"


Buffy shrugged, her smile fading as she said, "Boring. Xander tripped in a 
hole and fell. That was the most exciting thing all night. Dawn’s lucky she 
decided to stay over with Melissa instead of going with us."


"Dawn didn’t go?" Willow looked up at that news, "so it was just you and 
Xander?"


Buffy nodded, studying the sky for a few minutes before admitting quietly, "I 
miss you, Willow."


"You miss me?" Willow looked at her best friend, confusion on her pretty 
face. "I’m right here, Buffy."


Buffy laughed softly, "Yeah, right. You haven’t been here since yougot back 
from England. Talk to me, Willow. I’ve tried everything I can thinkof, but I 
can’t seem to get you back."


"When was this?" Willow asked, a slight edge to her voice. "When you were 
ignoring me? When you were acting as if I might try to kill you at any time? 
When I was sitting here alone wishing that I were dead?"


"Don’t say that!" Buffy said sharply. "Don’t ever say that!"


"Why not?" Willow asked, unshed tears in her eyes as she allowed herself to 
speak her thoughts for the first time in months. "It’s the truth. Every night 
that I wake up from memories of what I did, what I tried to do, I wish I were 
dead. You have no idea what it’s like to have done what I did."


"It wasn’t you," Buffy said, feeling guilty for never realizing that Willow 
had been contemplating suicide. She’d tried to give her best friendspace, 
let her have all the time she wanted without pressure. Now, it seemed that 
she had again made the wrong decision. Why couldn’t she ever do anything 
right? "It was the situation and the magic and everything."


"It wasn’t the magic," Willow said, shaking her head. "It was me. Imade the 
choices. No one forced me to do what I did. Do you know, that’s what scares 
me the most. The realization that it was always there, just waiting. I can’t 
blame the magic or Tara’s death or anything except myself."


"You’re right," Buffy said softly, running a hand through her hair,"I don’t 
have any idea what it’s like to have killed someone like you did, but I do 
know that you are still the strongest person that I’ve ever met. Tobe here 
now, dealing with everything, that takes more courage than you seem to 
realize."


"I’m sorry I tried to kill you," Willow whispered quietly, having never said 
the words during the months since the event. "The things I said…I guess I 
sort of meant them at the time, but I didn’t really mean them. I honestly don’
t remember half of what I said or did. It was all so confusing and happened 
so fast."


"I love you, Willow," Buffy replied with a smile. "No matter what, you’re my 
best friend. That night, I knew when we were fighting that I had to stop you, 
not because of any threat you posed against me, but because of the threat you 
posed against yourself. I mean, you’ve brought me back from the dead twice 
and saved me dozens of more times that you don’t even know about. Yet, when 
you needed me the most, I let you down. I wasn’t there. I almost lost you. If 
Giles and Xander hadn’t been there….God, I can’t even imagine."


"You weren’t there," Willow remembered, speaking so softly Buffy almost didn’
t hear her. "Afterwards, when I woke up, I saw Xander and Giles, but you weren
’t there. I thought you hated me."


"I could never hate you," Buffy replied honestly, running the back of her 
hand over her eyes. "You’re talking about when they were taking youto the 
airport, aren’t you? When you left here, you were asleep, so drained you were 
hardly breathing. I spent the entire night with you, holding you, not wanting 
you to wake up alone. The next morning, you were still out when Giles told me 
his plan. Didn’t Giles tell you what happened? He was so mad at me,I figured 
he’d be cussing at me the entire flight."


"Tell me what?" Willow asked, looking at her friend’s face and noticing the 
tears.


"We had a bit of a disagreement," Buffy said with a slight smile. "I didn’t 
want him to take you. I wanted to be the one to help you, to be there as you 
got better. He and I screamed for hours it seems, and he won. I guess, in a 
way, that he was right. You needed to be away here, away from us. Giles was 
in a position to help you; I wasn’t. I had to trust him. You did know that he 
made us promise not to call you or write until he thought you were ready, didn
’t you?"


Willow nodded, "He told me. Didn’t make things any less lonely. There were 
times that I was convinced he was just lying to make me feel better, that 
none of you wanted to see me at all. I guess that’s why I was so scared to 
return home."


"If I hadn’t had to be here, for Dawn and patrol, I’d have been there with 
you. You know that, don’t you?" Buffy asked, looking into her friend’s eyes, 
needing to know that Willow knew the truth.


Willow slowly nodded, "I know, now. Why haven’t we done this before? Talk. 
For months I’ve been back and we never bothered to talk. I’m so tired of 
being alone, Buffy. So tired."


Buffy’s arms went around her friend as she sighed, tears running down her 
face, "Me too. I’ve missed you so much, Willow. I’m never letting you go 
again."


"I love you, Buffy," Willow said softly as she hugged her friend. Pulling 
back, she gave her a fragile smile, "I guess we’d better get inside. It’s 
pretty late."


"Guess so," Buffy wiped her thumb across Willow’s cheek, capturing a tear. 
"Tomorrow night, you’re coming on patrol with me."


"Was that a question or an order?" Willow asked with a slight smile as she 
reluctantly got to her feet. It had felt nice being held, feeling loved for 
the first time in months. 


"Wishful thinking," Buffy said with a laugh as she took Willow’s hand and 
dragged her friend into the dark house. 


"I actually kind of miss patrol," Willow admitted as she started up the 
stairs. She waited for Buffy to turn off the light and then continued walking 
upstairs. 


"Ow," Buffy exclaimed as she hit her foot on one of the stairs. "I can fight 
vampires and demons but I can’t even walk up my own stairs in the dark."


"Guess we won’t be calling you stealthy slayer anytime soon," Willow said 
with amusement as she easily navigated the dark staircase. 


"Funny," Buffy said as she rolled her eyes. She grabbed Willow’s hand and 
followed her friend up the stairs and down the hall to the door of her old 
room. "Guess this is good night, then."


"I suddenly feel exhausted and emotionally drained," Willow said, covering a 
yawn. 


"Me too," Buffy admitted. "I’m glad we finally talked."


"Yeah, we wasted enough time," Willow said. "Buffy, I have one more favor."


"Anything," Buffy said, blinking as Willow flipped on her light switch. 


"Stay with me tonight?" Willow asked softly, wanting to feel safe for just a 
night. 


Buffy smiled, flashing back to the last time she had slept with Willow and 
how different things were now. Then, she had honestly wondered if she’d ever 
see Willow smile again. Now, such a simple action made her happier than she’d 
ever imagined. She didn’t reply, instead moving past her best friend and 
tossing her coat on the chair. She sat on the bed and smiled, patting the 
empty space beside her. "Come to bed, Willow. We can talk tomorrow."


Willow shut the door to her room, not even bothering changing into her 
sleeping clothes. Instead, she crawled up the bed and laid down, watching as 
the light was turned off, Buffy’s arms soon moving around her waist. She 
sighed in contentment as she snuggled against her best friend, her eyes soon 
drifting closed. Buffy felt better than she had in months. It would probably 
take more talking and more time, but she was on the way to getting her best 
friend back. She was not able to fall asleep until she felt Willow’s even 
breathing, soon following her friend into a peaceful slumber. 


*****THE END*******