FIC: Coming home 9/?

["jend1205 <jend1205@xxxxxxxxx>" <jend1205@xxxxxxxxx>]

Ok I finally figured how transfer my file to my parents computer. I 
not the brightest lightbulb in the lamp. I have not a clue where this 
one is going but it has been fun to write so bare with me on 
it.Author: Jen D
Disclaimer: I don't own just like it. 
Rating: G-R and all points between mostly language and violence
Spoilers: I guess all of the shows this is A/U but some of it might 
come up



"Red, do you want a beer", I asked her after we had settled at a 
table. She thought for a second, "Yeah I think my head and stomach 
can take it now." I smiled and looked to the other two, "you guys 
want anything."
"Coke for me", Tara said.
"Me too", Buffy said. I took off toward the bar. I watched the three 
of them as I waited for the drinks. If you'd asked me three days ago 
if I would be here with the three of them I would have laughed. Sure 
I had made amends with Buffy long ago but we were far from being best 
friends. We were more like co-workers. Now after one day, well one 
very interesting day, I'm sitting at a bar having drinks with them. 
It's all Red's fault I thought, if she hadn't came back so damn sexy, 
I wouldn't be here. I sigh, grab the drinks and head back to the 
table.
"Ok one coke for the slayer, another coke for the beautiful witch and 
for the sexy mother of three a beer", I smiled and couldn't help but 
flirt a little after there little tease fest in the kitchen earlier. 
I sat down next to Willow and I felt her hand on my knee. 
"Would you like to dance", Buffy asked Tara. They headed for the 
dance floor. I turned and looked at Red, "So I take your talk went 
well."
"Yeah I think so, they didn't yell and walk out so I guess it was a 
success."
"I'm glad to hear that", I said and I really was. After I left her 
house today I did a lot of thinking and I had to admit that a part of 
me was scared that I might be jealous but I realized now that I 
didn't think I was going to be. Willow had been very up front with 
her feelings and what she wanted from me and the others.
"Are you", she asked me.
"Yup, Red I'm the only active slayer now, sure B helps when I need it 
and Tara has even helped with witchy stuff but I'm pretty much on my 
own now a days. I know there is a possibility that I might die 
tonight, I can't ask someone to put up with that crap. You know about 
me, you learned to accept that a long time ago with B. I like you, I 
mean look at you, you are one of the hottest girls I have ever had 
the pleasure of meeting, and you want me." I saw the blush creep up 
her face and I laughed.
"Thank you, Faith. I like you too but you are not on your own 
anymore. Come on", she said and pulled toward the dance floor. We 
stepped into the middle of the crowd and she pulled me close.
"Faith I will always be here for you. I know that Buffy and you 
haven't had a very close relationship since you came back but I have 
a feeling that that might change now that you and I have this between 
us", she said and kissed me. 
"I still owe you for that in the kitchen today", I said and picked 
her up and twirled her around.
"I hope so", she said and once again she surprised me with her 
boldness.


I saw Tara watching Faith and Willow sitting at the table, "So 
what are you thinking about."
"I was just thinking about how much better she looks, happier."
"I know, I can't believe Faith of all people was the one that helped 
her. She has always seemed so selfish, maybe I was wrong."
"Maybe we all were, honey", she said and snuggled closer to me. 
"What do you think about what Will said today", I asked. It occurred 
to me that we hadn't talked about it.
"It could work but there will have to be a lot of honesty and 
communication for it to work."
"Do you understand what she is saying because I am a little confused 
about it", I asked her.
"I think she is offering us the same thing she is to Faith, 
friendship with more. We talked in the kitchen today and she knows 
that a three way relationship isn't possible for her because of the 
kids. That doesn't stop her from wanting us though."
"So she wants us to stay together and join us when she can."
"Yes I think so. She loves us Buff but I think there is still a part 
of her that is afraid of those feelings. That she feels like she is 
cheating. Remember the day I had lunch with Angie, we talked a lot 
about Will and Cheryl. Angie showed me pictures of the two of them 
together and Buffy it was incredible. I could see it, the love that 
the two of them shared. I had never seen her that happy. Even now 
there is sadness behind her smile. It almost broke my heart to look 
at her then and to see her now. They were meant to be together 
forever and now she's gone, way to soon." I looked into her eyes and 
kissed the tear that was making it's way down her cheek, "Kind of 
like us. I mean the being together forever and the incredible love 
that I feel for you."



"You always know how to make me feel better", I told her.
"Hey that's my job now to make you happy and feel good", Buffy told 
me and pulled me back into her strong arms. Yup, I am truly madly in 
love with this strong woman. For a long time after Willow went away I 
thought it was her that I had wanted to spend my life with but then 
my father came to get me and Buffy stood up to him. I think, no I 
know that was the minute I knew what I felt for her was more. I fell 
for her that day. I tried to hide it for so long, I knew she loved 
Willow and so did I. I knew we would never be able to put the ghost 
of the red head behind us, so we concentrated on becoming the best 
friends we so desperately needed. Willow departure left us both so 
lost and confused. I knew that Buffy had nightmares of coming across 
Willow some night on patrol and having to kill her best friend, no 
not just best friend but someone she loved more then life itself. I 
know that part of me is angry at Willow for leaving us. She went away 
and got to be happy while Buffy and I had to ignore the feelings that 
were bouncing between us. I looked at Faith and Willow dancing not to 
far from us and I have to shake my head, she had been scared and the 
emotional abuse that her parents had laid on the already lacking self 
confidence girl had been to much. I guess I couldn't blame her for 
running. Isn't that what I'd done with my own family? Some how I felt 
she had already been punished enough for her youthful mistake. 


I noticed Tara was lost in her own world, "Hey baby where did you 
go."
"The past", she said and sighed.
"Was it a pleasant trip", I asked wondering what past she had gone 
back too. She never really talked about her life before coming here 
but after meeting her brother and father I didn't think I ever wanted 
to know. If I ever did I might have to go and kick their asses. 
"Mostly, I was thinking about the moment I realized that I was in 
love with you."
"Oh really when was that", I asked my curiosity getting the better of 
me.
"The day you stood up to my father. You know you saved me that day."


"I will always save you", she told me and I lost myself again in her 
arms. I somehow knew that she would too. I saw Willow and Faith 
settle beside us. Willow looked at me and smiled, "Tara do you mind 
if I trade you for a minute."
"No have fun", I told her and found myself in the arms of the other 
slayer. I hadn't known Faith when she had come to Sunnydale the first 
time but I had heard the stories, she had not been someone that had 
been easy to like. I know it had taken everything inside of Buffy to 
forgive the dark slayer but Faith had shown all of us that she had 
changed. I never really talked much to her but considering the odd 
relationship that was forming between the four of us I felt it was a 
good idea. 
"Faith, why did you turn against everyone the first time you were 
here", I asked her?
"Uh oh time to get the dirt on the lover of the potential lover." I 
looked at her confused face and chuckled. She blushed and said, "Um 
that sounded a little strange didn't it."
"A little but I guess it's pretty accurate though."
"I didn't have a very good home life growing up. I wanted to be good, 
hell I wanted to be just like Buffy but I got scared and I guess I 
ran. Not from here physically like Red did but from them. Maybe 
that's why I understand her leaving better then anyone. The scoobies 
were so close and tight knit that the thought of disappointing them 
can just be too much, even if you know deep down inside that they 
will always forgive you and be there for you. She was scared of 
letting them down more then she was afraid of raising a child on her 
own." I wondered for a second about whether Faith had been reading my 
mind a little bit ago but shook it off.
"I know about how hard it is to keep control of your emotions when 
everything around you feels like it is falling apart. After my mother 
died my father and brother used to beat me", I whispered.



If it hadn't been for my slayer hearing I'm not sure I would've 
been able to hear her whisper. I never would have imagined that this 
sweet forgiving woman could have went through something like that.
"Tara I'm sorry. I didn't know."
"I know no one really does. I couldn't tell Buffy about it because I 
think she would hunt him down and do god knows what to them. I'm 
saying that I understand you more them anyone." I had always 
wondered why she had been the one to defend me and encouraged the 
others to accept me back now I knew why. I felt the rage inside 
build, not at my own mother but at the men that could hurt this 
amazing woman that was dancing in my arms.
"How", I had to ask.
"How what?"
"How did you survive to become who you are. I tried to forget it and 
move on when I got here but I couldn't. The rage and hatred was 
always right there just waiting to explode all over the place."


"I guess maybe because it happened later in my life. I was 
seventeen when my mom died. She always tried so hard to make sure 
that had a somewhat normal life. I was already who I was by then. 
Faith I'm not the same person I was when I got here. Will can tell 
you that. I couldn't even look at anyone because I felt like they 
knew. I was so shy. Sometimes it hurt just to think about having to 
talk to someone." Faith looked at me, "What changed?" I looked over 
to Buffy and Willow dancing, Buffy was laughing at something and for 
a minute I knew how perfect this life was becoming, "They did."
"Maybe I should have given them more of a chance." I wondered whether 
she was right, "Who knows maybe it wouldn't have made a difference, 
maybe you needed to do the things that you did to become who you 
needed to become. Just like maybe I needed to do the things that I 
needed to do. Or Willow and running away, would she be who she is 
today. Would Buffy? Would I? Would you? If she stayed would we be 
here. Fate and life are funny things. I for one, happen to think that 
we might be better the way we turned out. We all had our fair share 
of pain that we had to weather but I think we are stronger for having 
done it."


I listened to her and for the first time in a long time I felt a 
peace that I hadn't felt. "Thank you", I told her. She wiped the tear 
that was falling down my cheek, "For what." "I don't think I have 
ever felt this close to anyone before. I always put distance between 
myself and others. I was afraid to get to close to anyone because of 
the fear of getting hurt." She hugged me closer and whispered in the 
sweetest voice I have ever heard, "We would never hurt you." 


I saw Tara wipe a tear from Faith cheek and I wondered what they 
could be talking about that would make her cry. I wanted to rush over 
and protect her but I knew that the two of them shared something that 
Buffy and I couldn't understand. 
"I missed you, Will", Buffy said as she stroked my cheek.
"I missed you too Buffy. There wasn't a day go by that I didn't 
wonder how you were doing."
"Why didn't you call us. Damnit Willow do you know how many nights I 
had nightmares about having to stake you." I lowered my head in 
shame. I knew I owed her an explanation but I honestly didn't know 
where to start. 



"I should have I know but I was afraid", She told me. Afraid, of 
me. 
"Of me", I choked out. It was more then I would have been able to 
take if she was going to tell me that the reason she hadn't come home 
was because of some fear I would hurt her.


I felt her stiffen in my arm and the look of guilt that crossed 
her face, "No not of you, of myself and what I had done. I was 
pregnant with a werewolves baby, you are the slayer, what if things 
had turned out different with Beth. What if we hadn't been able to 
control her, what would you have done. There was no way I could have 
stood by and had to watch my best friend have to kill my daughter. I 
just felt like it was better that I go and deal with it on my own. 
Then by the time I knew for sure it was ok, so much time had passed. 
I was different and I wasn't sure if you would be able to forgive me 
for leaving. My parents were so disappointed in me and I couldn't 
have been able to handle it if you all would have been too."



I felt myself relax a little as the she spoke. I knew she was 
right to some extent I would have had to handle it if Beth had been 
bad and I knew that our friendship wouldn't have survived. We had 
grown up so much, her and I in the time she had been gone.
"Will, I love you and I'm sorry, I had to know."
"It's okay Buffy. I made a big mistake in not trusting in you and 
everyone but I was young."
"How about we make a pact right here and now that the past in exactly 
were it should be in the past."
"I like the sound of that. Buffy I always planned on coming home it 
just took a lot longer than I planned on. I never thought I would get 
wrapped up the way I did."
"Why did you come back then", I asked her, "I mean why not stay there 
and be normal."
"I missed it, here, you, everyone. I needed my family. I don't know 
what I would have done if things hadn't work out with everyone. I 
guess we would have just went to LA and lived there. I stopped and 
talked to Angel when I went to LA before I came here. He told me I 
always had a place there and I could have helped them."
"So you aren't looking for normal?"
"No, I have to have some normal but at some point I'm going to have 
to talk to the kids about who I am and the things that go on here. I 
mean Beth's father is a werewolf how normal can we pretend to be." 


I knew that Buffy was trying to process everything I was saying. 
She had always just wanted to live a regular life but I knew that 
after you know what we knew it wasn't possible. What I hadn't told 
her was the reason that I had chosen Seattle or the things that I had 
done when I was there. I guess it just made me feel closer to the old 
gang and made me feel like maybe I was helping in some way. I caught 
Faith and Tara out of the corner of my eye and decided that Buffy and 
Faith needed to talk too, " Buffy about Faith. I know things have 
been ok between you since she came back but are you really ok with 
her and I?"



"Why her", I asked. Faith had changed, I couldn't argue that. She 
had paid her price for the things she had done but part of me could 
never trust her. Now one of the women I loved was getting involved 
with her. 
"How much time have you spent with her since she came back", Willow 
asked me.
"Not a lot", I admitted to her and myself. 
"Buff, I never thought that I would say what I'm about to say about 
Faith of all people but she's funny and there's warmth and 
understanding there. She tries to hide it below this tough cold 
exterior but it's there. You just have to know where to look. Think 
for minute about how far she was gone and how far she has come." I 
glanced over seeing her with her arms wrapped around Tara, she was 
smiling and laughing, I think for the first time I really looked at 
her since her return. I had always been afraid to look into her eyes, 
afraid of seeing the cold emptiness that had always been there, what 
I saw tonight almost made my knees go week. She was looking at my 
girlfriend with so much understanding and I had to admit concern.
"See it's there", Willow whispered in my ear.
"I do, I see it", I said, "Thank you Will."
"Your welcome. How about we switch for a little while. I think I 
would like to dance with your girl."
"Our girl", I said and I saw love cross my best friends face.
"Yeah someday."


Before I even knew what hit me I found myself in the arms of Buffy. 
I stiffed a little and tried to put some distance between us.
"Relax", she whispered to me, "I'm not going to hurt you." I looked 
into the blondes eyes and saw something I have never seen in Buffy's 
eyes, respect.
"B", I started but she placed a finger on my lips to stop me.
"No let me talk for a minute. I know I haven't been support girl for 
you since you came back but Faith so much happened between us I was 
scared. I was afraid that if I trusted you that you would hurt me 
again." I tried to gather my thoughts, I knew this was my chance to 
finally make things right with us, something I had wanted to do for 
so long, "B, I couldn't hurt you. It's my own fault. I should have 
trusted you all back then but it was hard. All I wanted when I came 
here was to be like you, and I ended up being the opposite of you. I 
let all the bad things she had said and done to turn me into 
something I didn't want to be but the only person I thought I could 
be. That turned out to be the dark slayer."
"Faith I was jealous, I never gave you a chance. Maybe if we had 
accepted you, you wouldn't have had to find acceptance with the 
mayor."
"It doesn't matter now, B. Tara just told me that maybe the things 
that have happened have happened for a reason. We are the people that 
we are because of the all of it."
"Well I happened to think she is pretty smart and we ought to listen 
to her."
"I agree", I said and relaxed into her arms. I caught Red eye and 
mouthed thank you to her and her smile lit up the room.


My smile could have lit up the room when she mouthed thank you to 
me. I knew that I accomplished what I had came here tonight to do. 
"Proud of yourself aren't you", Tara asked me. I was I had managed to 
bring the four of us together and create a bond.
"Yup, they needed it. They need each other. The slayers have feelings 
and emotions that only another slayer can understand. Tara I want 
this to work and the only way is if everyone can be open with each 
other about the things they are feeling."
"I agree with you on that one."
"So is Buffy really ok with things."
"Yeah she is and Faith is she?"
"Yup"
"Well were do we go from here", Tara asked me and I suddenly realized 
that they were all here because of me.
"We take things slow get to find the friendship again and then go 
from there but for now I need to get a drink." She laughed and lead 
me back to the table. Buffy and Faith collapsed beside us. 
"So Will", Buffy asked, "What did you say to Faith in the kitchen." I 
smirked and shook my head, "I'm not telling."