FIC: Reconnecting (1/?)

["Matthias Engel" <Solarsenshi@xxxxxx>]

Hi!

(To the Buffy/Willow folks) Well, I guess I go ahead and post this.

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Title: Reconnecting (1/?)
Author: Mystic Mew (Solarsenshi@xxxxxx)
Status: Incomplete, Alpha
Rating: R (most likely)
Category: Crossover/Dark/Romance
Pairings: Buffy/Lina, Willow/Tara, Xander/Anya
Summary: Set two months after ?Wrecked?. Buffy still struggles with life and
Spike, Dawn feels neglected, Willow is heartbroken. Tara is worried and
calls Giles for help. A new person is brought into the life of the Scoobies
who will make quite an impact.
Distribution: Buffy Wants Willow and Magikal Three lists,
www.fanfiction.net, www.mediaminer.org. Any others not yet decided. If you
are interested please ask and you can have it.
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy, the Vampire Slayer nor do I own the
characters of Slayers. This is a work of fiction and is done for the simple
purpose of the joy of writing. So don?t sue me.
Legal Disclaimer: This work of art will include graphical description of
violence and intimacy between both genders to a degree. If that is illegal
or you have moral issues with this, run away as long as you still can. The
author does not take responsibility if you chose to ignore this warning.

Author?s Note

Blame this one on Maia? *glares at muse* I think she got the idea while I
read Hunter?s Season Six Reset and it somehow stuck. I really have WAY too
much stories in progress already. *sigh*
Anyway. This is not quite what I usually write. Being a rather stern
Buffy/Willow shipper the only acceptable for me to write are triad fics, so
this one is a first for me. There will probably be mentioning of a
Buffy/Willow theme but it won?t be a primary focus.
Unlike in Upon the Sea of Chaos this crossover is more focused on the
Buffyverse (at the start at least). You should not have that much problems
with the Slayers characters since it is mostly Lina. I hope you enjoy. I?m
writing this one out of a whim, so expect a lot of twists that probably will
surprise me more as you. And now enjoy.

Prologue

<Several months previous>
The night sky was lit by flashes of lightning, but no thunder followed. The
dark clouds were thick but no rain was falling. The wind had long past
turned into a storm and yet the ocean below did not betray its calm, not a
single wave crashed against the rocky cliffs. The world stood still and was
in an uproar at the same time tonight. Several thousand miles, wide across
the ocean in a world few knew ? the same held true for those living in the
outside world ? an act of utter blasphemy and yet necessity was performed.
An act that made this countries? struggles mere squabbles.
In a small town that nonetheless held one of the highest magical and demonic
concentrations possible the ritual to bring back the warrior of the people
was slowly drawing to a close. A pity that it would be interrupted. That
would prove a lot of problems for the group. Of course I could have warned
them. But where was the fun in that? Nah, I don?t fancy myself as a good guy
after all. I just did what I am told to do? With a little fun.
A streak of blue crawled like a snake around a pillar down from the sky.
Another thunderbolt struck mere feet away from my position atop a stone
monolith but I did not even blink. There was no danger for me here. Another
flash and the sky that had opened up in a circular hole was filling up
again. All was quiet for a while before the first rain drops started and the
waves began to rise, no lightning bolts anymore though. It was done.
?Now the stage is set.? I smiled a serene smile that others might have
interpreted as a manic grin. Petty differences. ?Hmm,? I mused thoughtfully,
?this should be interesting.? And with that I tapped my staff on the stone
and vanished.

Reconnecting
By Matthias
A BtVS/Slayers Crossover

<England (Giles)>
Jolted from rather pleasant dreams it took my mind a few seconds to make out
the source of the interruption. It turned out to be the ringing of my phone.
Grumbling I clicked on the light and grabbed the receiver, swearing silently
that if whoever called me at this unholy hour better had a very good reason.
?Yes?? I snapped bluntly. The line on the other end was silent and I was
about to inquire again, then a very timid voice asked: ?G-Giles? I-It?s me,
T-Tara.? Yes, apparently so. The stutter was sort of a giveaway. God, I
probably had frightened the girl to death. Good move, Rupert. Deciding it
was no time for self-loathing I sat up trying to clear my mind from any
remaining traces of sleep.
?Um? I-I didn?t mean to w-wake you? I-I c-can c-call later, if?? Something
was wrong here. I hadn?t seen or heard the other witch so nervous since the
first time Willow brought her over. Which meant that something drastically
must have happened. But if it was something concerning the Hellmouth Buffy
would have called, right? ?No, it?s alright, Tara. I haven?t been sleeping
yet,? I lied, trying to ease the other girl up a little. ?What can I do for
you? Is everything alright with you over there?? I asked, concern clearly
shown in my voice.
Again a period of silence followed and my worry increased again. ?Yes,
everything is f-fine and e-everyone is w-well but?? Tara stopped in
mid-ramble. ?No, actually everything is falling apart over here.? So much
for the hope of a continued good night?s rest. I had struggled with my
decision to leave them and had hoped that the necessity for independence
would bring Buffy out of her shell. Had I misjudged her inner strength so
badly? Did she really not want to live anymore? And could I really blame
her?
?But this is not really about us, it?s more about? Willow?? Tara?s voice
trailed of again and one could clearly hear the pain. After the last Tabula
Rasa spell from Willow a breakup between the two witches was inevitable.
Again I had hoped that would bring the redhead to see reason. Maybe we both
had been too optimistic. ?She? She?s really bad, Giles, and? I don?t know
what to do?? The wicca slowly related the events after I had left Sunnydale
or at least what she had heard from Buffy.
At the end I was rubbing my temples with one hand and desperately longed for
a cup of tea. Willow had finally de-rated Amy, associated briefly with a
magic dealer and nearly got Dawn killed in the process? And now she was
struggling with withdrawal. By now Tara?s voice was shaking and somewhat
frantic. ?I-I saw her just yesterday. Buffy told me she was trying but I
found her crying on a bench and there was magic dancing everywhere around
her.? I bit my bottom lip. From all the scenarios I had dreaded this the
worst. And it did not help that my own guilt was tearing me apart. I had
seen the change coming for sometime now but was reluctant to ensure the
proper steps. Reluctant because of my own past.
?She needs help, Giles.? The wiccan?s voice was small now, barely above a
whisper. ?I? can?t you? I mean? We need you back here. Not only Willow but
Buffy too.? I sighed wearily. There was something the other woman wasn?t
telling me but I would not press that matter now. Quite frankly Tara was the
last of the Scoobies I had expected to call me anytime soon. And the fact
that it was her only served to underline how bad it really was. I never
wanted to leave in the first place anyway but had thought it to be the best
choice back then. Now over two months later, I had settled somewhat in the
peacefulness of retirement. However, truth be told I thought constantly
about them. I missed my family.
?Alright then. I will see what I can do.?
?You are coming back?? The surprise was overriding her emotions for now and
I was glad for that. Laughing softly, I answered, reaching for a hidden
drawer and pulling out a small notebook, a decision slowly beginning to
form. ?Yes, Tara, I will. I need to make some preparations first. I don?t
think though I can be of much help with Willow.? Not without setting Ripper
free? Tara?s voice immediately cracked as she began to form a protest or
voice her disappointed. ?But I know someone who can,? I interjected quickly.
?Really?? the wiccan asked hopeful again.
I opened the notebook and traced a name with my fingertip. A name to a
person I had not seen in almost five years. ?I sent her over to you as soon
as possible.?

<Sunnydale (Willow)>
The ally was as dark as the night?s sky and for the thousand?s time I
wondered why I was out. I should be home wallowing in self-pity and
concentrate on withdrawal. But that was the problem, wasn?t it? It didn?t
work. I tried. Goddess, did I try but the need and craving was eating away
at me. The tremors and occasional blood were the least problem ? not that
anyone would ever notice those days. No, it was the unbearable temptation
always lingering on a hair?s length away from my grasp. This was nothing
like a drug addiction that you could just steel yourself against and get
through it. I think that I could have managed. But all the power, the magic
it was consuming and foremost demanding. I was stuck, either lose myself in
the darkness or slowly getting eaten by the hunger. I could not turn back
anymore. And no one was there to help. And how is that not your own fault,
Rosenberg?
I sighed at the bitter irony of the whole situation. Why was I here again. I
didn?t even know that anymore. I was just here? for what reason ever.
Blackouts and sudden, unconscious reactions were the norm these days. No one
really noticed and I didn?t want anyone to notice. They shouldn?t see me in
this state. Not Buffy who wouldn?t care anyway or Dawn who probably hated
me. Tara especially. I didn?t want her pity. Not when I didn?t deserve it.
Through those past months of withdrawal it had become brutally clear to me
how much I had messed up our relationship and how close I had gotten to what
we usually defined as evil. Withdrawal. I chuckled bitterly. There was no
withdrawal. It was only the pending between being ripped apart from the
inside and pretending to be strong and not touching one magic book anymore.
I think I didn?t even need a book anymore with the level I had acquired.
And yet, I was still selfish and a bit angry myself. I still could not
understand why Tara left. Yes, I had wronged her but did I not deserve a
break myself. Hadn?t we all made mistakes in the past and still managed to
look over them, work them out. What was wrong now? Why was everything so?
sad? Tara should have stayed, we could have worked that out, we? Without her
I didn?t know if I possessed the strength to overcome this. I missed her
calming presence, the connection we shared, her grounding in the magic.
However, had I even the right to earn her forgiveness? I was confused,
bitterness and anger battled in my heart. Had I always taken Tara for
granted? Had I always taken Buffy for granted? Was that why I had so
desperately clung onto the idea to raise her from the dead? Rip her out of
heaven.
A tingle of something familiar grazed my senses and I shuddered at the
stench of darkness. Tentatively I made another step and suddenly found
myself in a dimly-lit room, a few ?people? slumped in the room?s furniture.
All my survival instincts screamed for me to turn around and run, run as far
away from this place as possible. Instead I simply stood there, not really
caring nor noticing that the door at the other end had opened.
?Hello, Strawberry, came back for more?? I cringed at the voice. Of course
he knew I was here the moment I passed the barrier. Keeping my head down I
tried to move but my legs wouldn?t obey. My body screamed in need. In need
for anything to fill this hole inside of me? But I couldn?t, not here, not
from him? Not again? ?N-No?? I pressed out and finally found the strength to
move but froze again at the hand of my shoulder, sending a jolt of energy
through me. ?Don?t?? I pleaded but knew it was fruitless.
?Oh, but you DO want me to?? Rack breathed into my ear, the logical part of
my brain slowly losing the last ounce of control and giving away to the
desperate craving?

<England, the next morning>
?Flight 546 to Los Angels in twenty minutes,? rang the monotone voice over
the speakers, resounding loudly over the early morning rush of passengers
crowding the halls. Actually it wasn?t really that crowded and that was
basically part of the problem. Seeing as it was approximately? five
thirty-six in the morning and that was the first flight to LA was wrecking
my nerves, not to mention my sanity.
?I hate airports,? I mumbled, picking up my bags and grunting under the
weight of hurriedly crammed suitcases. ?I swear to you, Rupert, if I weren?t
in your debt, I would have toasted you over an open fire,? I swore loudly,
not caring if anyone hurt. Looking around I saw no one looking at me and
made a hand gesture towards the offending suitcases and they vanished in a
sparkle of red dust.
Picking up a brisk piece I passed the check-in procedures, receiving and
ignoring odd looks why I had no luggage at all, while continuing to rant:
?Really, waking me up at three in the morning and then expecting me to get
on the first flight. You always were one for last minutes decisions, were
you? If that girl had been my charge I would have never let her drift so
far?? A wave of dizziness brought me almost tumbling. ?Bloody Hell!? I
clearly had not have enough sleep, had barely gotten in three hours before
being roused rather unpleasantly.
If it had been any other than Rupert Giles asking me of this favor I would
have sought them out the next day and gave them a piece of my mind. Backed
up by at least one fireball. However, as much as I wanted to hate him right
now, I owed the stoic Englishman my life. In more than one way. We could not
downright be defined as friends, not even acquaints. I hadn?t even heard of
the man ever since he had returned to England. No, Rupert in a way had been
my savior than my life had looked so bad that I thought not the lowest rat
on Earth would give a damn. And for that I would be forever grateful. I
could loath and all those things but in the end, if he had asked me to
descend to hell and lift the whole damn thing I would have done it.
And that was why he asked me. Because he knew I had been where this girl was
now. Much more than even he might have been. And I could not blame him that
he was scared to go through the whole thing again? ?Like a damn tradition??
I muttered, shaking my head and plopping down on my empty seat. The other
one was unoccupied and would stay that way for which I was grateful.
It would be another ten minutes before the airplane would take off for LA,
from where I could get a ride to my destination. Maybe I should even fly
there. The modern technology of this part of the world always made me wary.
Usually I didn?t trust anything but my own feet and spells for
transportation. But maintaining a Raywing bubble for the whole distance with
my lack of sleep? Nah? I would be drained before I even reached the East
Coast.
With a flick of my wrist I retrieved the folder of papers Giles had sent me
on the case. I had been curious to meet the group of brave children he was
so fond of but it was never really a pressure that had to be explored. I had
briefly flipped through some of his descriptions and the obvious hastily put
down summary of the phone call he had gotten this morning.
Frankly, just from a few things I could already see that I could not afford
to wait for him and travel together. This case needed to be dealt with
immediately. I could only judge the condition of the subject but if there
was already mention of a magic dealer from her mate. No, certainly. Willow
Rosenberg had the potential to be a lot of trouble and that was not even
considering the fact that I had to operate upon a Hellmouth? Gah, I really
hate you Rupert.
Resigning myself to my fate, I began to go more thoroughly through the stack
of papers, trying to be as prepared as possible. Then we were up in the air
I could get some sleep in. Some really needed sleep.

<Sunnydale (Anya)>
Man, I hated them. Arrogant, impudent and egoistically, self-righteous and
prideful over the top. They always thought they were right even though they
were totally out of their metier. It was days like this that I loathed to be
human again and following all those dumb rules about being cultivate, civil
and nice to customers. Problem was I loved that shop ? and the money ? and I
wanted to keep my customer. But there the hell did they get off thinking
they knew my job better than me? I was not an amateur, I was? had been a
thousand year old vengeance demon? Really, if I still had my powers they
would?
Never mind that though. I was marrying such a specimen of loathed gender in
a few weeks. A soft smile came to my lips as I once again went over the
records of last month in the relative quiet of late afternoon. Income had
increased somewhat even with the absence of Willow and often rather listless
Tara to help. They might not believe it but of all the people in the gang I
worried for them the most. This whole mess had started with Buffy jumping
off that tower and we had yet failed to recover. You could practically feel
the tension between them every time they were in the same room and it was
clearly written all over their faces that both were guilty for a lot of the
pain caused between them.
Though I had never cared much for Willow and admittedly we would probably
never be blood sisters or something like that, I in particular could
understand what she was going through. That craving for power, the constant
struggle and thirst. I had experienced it all and it still followed me until
now. The redhead would not get away from it. The need would always be there.
Power was not something to play with and then throw away again. Power was
all about prices, it was demanding and refused to just crawl back where it
came from. Hopefully Willow would be able to find a better focus for it than
I had at that time?
Poor Xander practically had a heart attack than I told him that we could
prolong the wedding for awhile until everything had calmed down again, at
least to reasonable Sunnydale levels. In that past months ever since the
incident with Rack ? god, I should have turned him into a worm when I had
the chance but had taken pity on him then ? I had done some serious
thinking. That little duet during the music demon kept coming back again and
again when I thought about the impending wedding and what that meant for us.
What it meant especially for Xander.
Petrified, he had said that he was petrified. And I could try to convince
myself as much as I wanted, I was scared as well. There was no denying it. I
knew the track record of relationships in the gang? perhaps Sunnydale as a
whole and I don?t think I could bear to be hurt like that. Hurt like that
again?
It had been so long since I allowed myself to think about my time before I
was a demon. There were a lot of fond but also some very depressing
memories. It had hit me then with an absolute clarity that left me
breathless. Xander was not ready. I believed him that he wanted to marry me,
more than I ever had believed in a man ever in my life, but he was not
ready. And if it took canceling the wedding, I would do it. Otherwise the
pain would surely drive me back where I had been the last thousand years. I
didn?t want to chance this. Not again.
Brought out of my silent revere I looked up at the bell?s chiming sound and
nearly fell over from surprise. I, Anya soon-to-be Harris, former vengeance
demon was literally shocked into silence at the figure now stepping up to
the counter with a pleasant and in all calming smile on his face. He was
tall, with a very muscular but lean frame, dark blonde hair that I knew was
actually a mixture of ebony-gold, just hidden from human sight. He wore a
thin leather jacket and matching dark-brown pants. I recognized him
immediately, even after almost a millennia. No one who had ever met one of
his kin would ever forget it.
?Daryial?? I finally squeaked out. The man cocked his head and his smile
never wavered. ?Hello, Anya, it is so nice to see you again. Human and all I
mean. But there is no time for small-talk, sadly.? I didn?t dare to move
when he leaned forward over the counter and whispered into my ear. ?The
connection is severed, the portal opens and the lady weeps.? It was a
miracle I didn?t faint at the implications the simple statement held. So
much for any wedding plans, ever?

(Buffy)
Too small? Phew? What the heck did they think the martial arts were supposed
to do? Making those physically weaker able to defend themselves. Well, at
least that was one point. Heh, I had shown them exactly why you should not
underestimate an opponent, ever. Maybe I did come a bit too tough of an
impression though. They sent me home and said they would think about it and
call me tomorrow. Alright, maybe smashing the two top instructors
simultaneously threw the ring was laid a little thick but they had asked for
it. Should they stuff their pride for once, I had my own.
Pride. There was at least an emotion that wasn?t totally shameful like? No,
let?s not go there.
Quite frankly the lady from social service this morning had caught me
totally off guard. After telling me in no uncertain terms that my life was a
total mess, my income zero and nada and my bills towering up to the ceiling
of the first floor and that under this circumstances this was no environment
for a teenage girl that had rattled something in me.
They couldn?t take Dawn. They could take me or whatever but not her. She had
her life her, people who cared for her. And nowhere she could be protected
better from any danger than here. The prospect of maybe losing Dawn. It had
yanked me away the first time Willow had almost gotten her killed in that
incident but recently I had slumped back into that deep, black pit. I still
lacked feeling, my drive to live and that made me unable to response
properly to all what was going on around me.
The funny thing was, I saw it all, the struggle in Willow that I maybe
understood more than a lot of people, how the breakup hurt both her and
Tara, Dawn?s loneliness. However, I did not trust myself to approach either
problem. The compassion I deemed necessary for trying to fix things was not
there as it should be and without it, I didn?t know if I was strong enough
to face the emotional scars left behind by recent events.
How could I response to this, to any of their problems, how could I be the
friend they needed or expect them to be the friends I needed so desperately
when I didn?t feel? anything. Nothing at all. For months I had dwelled on
and on, not knowing what to do with a life I didn?t want? No, that wasn?t
right. On a basic level I wanted to live but I could not find an anchor.
Every time I tried to talk to one of the Scoobies about this, I had only
felt hollow, a dark hole where my soul should be. Was Spike right after all?
Did I come back wrong?
No, I shook my head vehemently. No, Tara said where was nothing wrong with
the spell. I smiled slightly at the irony that it had been the shy wiccan I
entrusted with my recent undead tryst and the feelings of shame and guilt
that were about everything the unwanted yet primal encounters left within
me. In a way Tara seemed to have become sort of a mother figure for all of
us and I think everyone started to realize that, now that she wasn?t
constantly around anymore. Maybe Tara was just the easiest person to connect
to right now. She didn?t judge quickly and never held anything against you.
If I told the others what I told her in the last days, Xander would probably
freak and Willow? I honestly didn?t know what Willow would do anymore.
Her mood swings were only one thing. I tried a few times to at least get
through to her as hard as it was for me but she proved as withdrawn most of
the time as I was lacking the ability to express my feelings. Her g?
ex-girlfriend though had readily dived right back into the spell even though
I knew that my behavior concerning Spike was only my fault and I only
searched for an excuse.
Back to the pride thing. First of it was the concern for Dawn that had even
made me consider Tara?s suggestion from a few days ago. It had been a casual
comment but the question had stuck: Why not use my skills to make some
money. I had dismissed it then but after the close call this morning I knew
that I had to do something or lose my sister to either my wayward father or
some family. Neither had any idea how to handle the temperamental teenager
nor protect the Key from danger.
So I had checked out that self-defense thing on campus that the blonde
wiccan had pointed me to. And then they had the audacity to disregard me
downright because of my built? That had snapped something in me. It was only
a tiny spark but maybe I was finally starting to get back some resemblance
of order in my life.
While I walked down the street back home I didn?t realize that I was
subconsciously humming some sort of melody?

(Tara)
Deeply troubled over the earlier call from Buffy about that social worker I
made my way to the Magic Box, guilt rising inside of me when I realized that
I had been expected to work today and it barely was a few hours to closing.
Anya had been surprisingly understanding, almost subdued at times. I knew
Xander and her had prolonged their wedding plans for the moment. That coming
from the ex-demon had not only surprised her fiancé that was for sure.
Apparently there was a lot more to the human Anya that anyone knew about or
the girl let on.
Buffy?s troubles had only added to my own worries and conflicted thoughts.
Ever since spotting Willow a few days ago I had felt a slowly rising pain
creeping into my heart and settling down there. She had looked so lost and
vulnerable. Even though she had obviously just received some sort of
recharge, my ex-girlfriend hadn?t done anything. Just sat on a bench and
stared into nothing. And I had just stood there, not daring to approach.
Maybe Buffy wasn?t the only one who was desperately searching to reconnect
with the world and her friends again. In a way I did that too.
Willow was my anchor, there was no doubt about that. Without her everything
only felt dark and lonely like before. Willow had opened my heart and
practically stole my heart and soul before I could register. That was why it
hurt so much. And that was why I should have stayed and worked it out as
well? Now, I just didn?t know how to reach the one constant light in my life
anymore. She had become almost a stranger to me and I was frantic with
helplessness how to make things right again.
Entering the shop quietly through the backdoor, concerns were flung right
out of the window for a moment when the voice of a very agitated Anya and a
deep, relatively quiet voice filtered into the back. I felt? something. A
presence very powerful and ancient, yet failed to perceive its true nature.
Whoever was broadcasting such an aura over the place was probably able to
shield himself well enough. And the thought alone that this much power was
suppressed made me shudder with foreboding dread.
I peaked around the corner to the main section. ?Uh? hi, I?m sorry but I got
hold up?? Anya spun around, her nerves clearly as tense a bowstring. I
almost jumped at her reaction but managed to stay calm somehow. Anya sighed
heavily, falling back into a chair. She waved her hand dismissively. ?Don?t
mention it. It?s not that it matters anymore.? That really got my attention.
All of us knew that if it was one thing that Anya had developed a maniac
obsession with ever since they took over the shop was money. And me being
late to work almost always ended in some sort of scolding. Yes, she had been
surprisingly forgiving these past months but this nonchalant, plainly
defeated look?
?W-What do you m-mean?? I couldn?t help the stutter. The shop keeper?s
behavior was laced with more than her usual bluntness and simple look on
things. Anya could get easily excited or depressed about something. This was
not a harmless fit. My eye?s moved over to the other figure standing calm
behind the counter, his eyes fixed on both us. The moment I made contact
with them, I almost trembled from the intensity reflected in this deep blue
eyes with a tint of? gold?
?Greetings, fair maiden,? the stranger spoke the first time. ?My name is
Daryial and I fear that Anyanka? Pardon me, Anya here did take them rather
bad.? Uh huh. ?Although I would lie if I say those news are anything less
than cheerful.? Anya glared at him. ?Less than cheerful? Are you trying to
kid us? We are all going to die and I will never marry Xander!? I wondered
if she would break down and cry now but surprisingly she just sat there
angrily glaring at anyone and anything crossing her line of vision. By now I
felt rather left out of the whole conversation since I had no idea what
exactly they were talking about. ?Ah, not to be r-rude or anything but could
s-someone t-tell me what?s going on??
The man smiled his serene smile that somehow disturbed me more than Anya?s
clear agitation did. ?Certainly. Though I hope you don?t jump to conclusions
like my old friend here.? Again Anya snarled, interrupting any sort of
explanation. ?Not jump to conclusions? She?s wiccan, she damn well knows
what The Crossing entails.?
The man?s smile turned into a frown finally when Anya?s words began to
register in my brain and? Well, there?s no nice way to put it. I guess I
downright fainted.

(Dawn)
The house was empty and silent while I sat in the living room, listlessly
watching some horror flick that I wasn?t even old enough for I guess. Alone,
I was alone again. Tara had said she?d come over tonight but hadn?t shown up
yet ? Anya probably let her work extra hours again. Buffy was out slaying,
taking longer than normal as ever since her return. Willow was? Somewhere. I
had no idea and I didn?t even care. We were still on no speaking terms since
the accident. I knew I was overreacting and that the redhead had a hard time
herself but I couldn?t help but feel angry. Not only at her but at Buffy
too. She should have noticed and done something. They were friends after
all, weren?t they?
God, who was I kidding? Two nights ago I had heard Willow crying in her room
and it took everything not to just rush in there and hold her. And Buffy? I
didn?t really understand her anymore. I thought I used to do, I really did.
During that time with Glory we had been closer than ever. I still had
nightmares from that time when she jumped into the portal. It should have
been me. It was SUPPOSED to me. I knew I was supposed to close the circle
that making me human had begun. But Buffy had taken this duty from me
because she wanted to. What once had driven her as the Slayer to go out
there day by day was gone. And now she couldn?t find it again. How could I
blame her for feeling betrayed and not wanting to live anymore.
I couldn?t help being selfish though and on a basic level hated myself for
being all bitchy. Instead of being there for her, I was just focusing on my
own demands and needs, we all were in a way. Everything was just so messed
up and I hated feeling so unimportant. Buffy had told me to be strong but I
wasn?t strong. I couldn?t be, not without her? I couldn?t even be strong for
her. I should have jumped before she even had a chance to react.
?Ah, boring,? I groaned and clicked of the television. That movie wasn?t
even scary. I know it was meant to be that way, yet living on a Hellmouth
only made you laugh at such attempts at best. Looking out of the window I
hoped to catch a glimpse of my sister coming home. Or even Willow. Anyone to
not feel so alone. So excluded and? not belonging.
What was I doing here anyway? At one point I had believed Buffy when she
said that I was her sister and that was what mattered. That I was a human
being with a life and not just a? thing. Essentially though I WAS the Key. I
hadn?t allowed myself to think that in a long time. However, lately I was
wondering what my purpose was in this world. Everyone just seemed to worry
about me whenever I was in danger. Then they came running but after that?
See, I was selfish again. A selfish thing-turned-teenager. That wasn?t a
healthy combination to begin with. Couldn?t they have made me? older or
something? I guess not.
?That sucks,? I mumbled, deciding to go to bed. I didn?t believe anyone
would come home until late at night or possibly morning. Just then I was
about to turn away and head up the stairs, I thought I had caught a
movement. Staring intently I blinked as a figure stumbled into the light of
the street lantern in front of our house. It took me several minutes to
identify the miserable shape of a barely recognizable human being but when I
did, I was already halfway out of the door.

(Xander)
?Ah man, I just want a bed now.? This last job was exhausting, I tell you,
and we had been working overtime to get it done today. Now I had at least a
few days free before the next assignment. Sure, I loved my job but at the
moment I think about ten hours of sleep were in order. Anya would probably
be pouting at the lack of? No, I so not wanted to go there.
Yes, my fiancée?s offer to postpone the wedding for awhile had literally
blown me out of my shoes. I had know for some time now that there was a
softer side to the ex-demon. Something that was more human than demon. That
was why I mustered the courage to propose in the first place. And that was
why I think that our relationship was stable, maybe the most stable one in
the gang at the moment? Not, that anyone else had a relationship that is. I
mean, there others would see a temporary canceled wedding as a setback, for
us it was more like another step towards a better understanding.
?Now if we could just fix Willow and Tara and find Buffy a nice boyfriend?
God, listen to you, Harris, you sound like? like?? I opened the door to our
apartment, noticing that Anya obviously wasn?t there yet. Nonetheless the
lights were on and there was a stranger sitting on the living room table.
?Like a babbling idiot?? The unfamiliar man that for some reason screamed
demon finished.
Geez, why on Earth would I think that. Maybe it was the suspicious robe or
the long staff or the PURPLE hair? Maybe it was just that smile that looked
like it wanted to be wiped from his face. ?Idiot was not exactly what I was
aiming for, no.? The man looked offended for a moment. ?Tsk, tsk, such dark
thoughts. Do I really look so suspicious?? I stared at him and he looked
down at himself. ?Hmm, I suppose I do. I think I?m losing my charm. After
all we Mazoku aren?t totally immune to age. Ask your fiancée about it.? With
that he let his staff vanish and he vaulted himself from a table into a
nearby chair, his hair darkening until it was almost black. ?Better??
I stood there, closing the door slowly behind me and crossed my arms.
?Alright. See, buddy, I had a long day and I?m not up to jokes, especially
not on my account. So if you are one of An?s old buddies, she is not here
yet and our wedding has been temporally canceled. So, if you would excuse me
now.? The guy, demon, whatever eyed me seemingly casual and bored. ?Oh no,
you misunderstand me, Mister Harris. This has nothing to do with my ex.? I
glared at him, not sure if he was trying to aggravate me or telling the
truth. ?And what is it then that you want, Mister Cryptic.? I didn?t even
bother asking for a name. Obviously I would not get an answer anyway.
The guy smiled at me, as if knowing exactly what I was thinking, then he put
a finger under his chin, staring up at the ceiling as if contemplating an
answer. ?Hmm, that? is a secret.? I grasped the wall for support and blinked
twice. ?Uh?? The man that looked like a priest with that robe laughed and
got up from the chair to walk over to me. Normally I would have done
something by now but for some reason I seemed transfixed by his movements.
He got very close and when we were face to face, he said in a deathly quiet
tone. ?What I want is not important and no one shall know that except the
Lady. No, that questions of a wedding or how messed up your lives are will
soon be the least of your problems. The Crossing is in immediate reach and
you are right in the center of it.? Why did I think that did sound bad?
Because it DID sound VERY bad. ??A warrior of light and mage of dark, two
bond in spirit, a human and a demon soul. They who face hell day by day, no
fear they know.? Mark my words, time is running out for you. Consult your
Watcher on this. He will know the right text.? The man stepped away and the
staff landed back in his hand. ?Maybe you still have a chance after all.
That is if the red witch lives through this night?? I think my blood ran
cold at his amused chuckle. ?That will be fun.? And with that he vanished
but before I could sink to my knees, he reappeared one last time. ?Oh, tell
Anyanka Xellos said ?hi?!?
Why was I shaking? I mean I had heard enough prophecies and strange crap not
to be impressed by anything so easily. Hey, we had faced a Hell Goddess and
lived, barely. Why was it that the stranger?s words were striking a fear in
my heart that I had not known before. That is when the red witch lives
through the night. WILLOW!
A second later I was out of the door, all fatigue forgotten.

<>
?Hey, girl, you shouldn?t be out at such an? Argh!?
Nice town. I had thought some areas in England were bad. We didn?t have that
much vampires where I grew up. More like demons, monsters, beasts,
sorcerers, dumb swordsmen and princesses with an justice attitude? Nice,
ruin my already perfectly ruined mood even more, won?t you? Maybe it was the
atmosphere of this whole town or maybe I was just overstressed. I hadn?t
allowed myself to think about home since? And I wouldn?t do so now. I had a
job to do. That was the only important thing right now.
Let?s see. The address Giles gave me should be somewhere around here. There
was a cemetery nearby, maybe I should look up his charge too. I had to
admit, I was curious about the Slayer. The way Giles? had described her? He
must really love her, like a daughter. That was a rare trait that I had not
expected from the man who had helped me over one of the worst times in my
life. The Rupert Giles I had met was a recently socialized, idealistic,
young Watcher who was stiff and? Well, let us say eager to please. He said I
reminded him of his youth and that was why he had helped me. I didn?t think
he could do the same again, it was agonizing back then, even though he
wouldn?t admit that.
Sounds of fighting could be heard when I entered the graveyard and I quickly
hid behind a row of tombstones and a tree. In growing fascination I watched
a petite blonde single-handedly demolish half a dozen of obviously
newly-risen undead with obvious fun and a few taunts. L-sama, she was a lot
like I had been. Confident, brave, skilled. She knew what she was doing. Yet
somehow something was missing. A certain esprit. I couldn?t quite put my
finger on it. Giles had briefly mentioned that she had trouble finding the
drive for living again. No wonder after a resurrection four months after
death. However, tonight the Slayer didn?t seem like someone who was totally
listless and uncaring. A bit of a warrior?s spark was there. But still
something was missing.
?You seem more? energetic tonight, Slayer.? Another vampire ? at least that
was what I assumed ? had stepped up behind the girl but Buffy Summers didn?t
seem to care about him. Instead I saw her sigh in exasperation before
turning around. ?Yes and that is why you should go before I decide to be in
the mood for something unhealthy directed towards you.? Ah, I glanced down
at a sheet of paper, that must be Spike. And there I thought associating
with Xellos was bad?
The blonde vamp didn?t seem fazed by the threat. ?Oh come on. You know you
want this. I can make you feel even better then now. Why don?t you invest
that energy in something more? interesting.? Eww, I think I was going to be
sick. The girl should grow up and stake the idiot. Personally, if it had
been me the guy would be toast by now. Harmless or not.
Buffy wrenched her arm loose from his grip. ?Leave me alone, Spike. There is
nothing you can achieve here.? Damn right, tell him, girl. ?You were singing
a totally different tone a few nights ago, luv.? What the?? Can I repeat
myself? Eww! Oh, they were fighting now, that was much better. Wait a
minute! Didn?t Giles write that Spike couldn?t hit?
What could have been more described than a brawl had taken a drastic turn as
Spike had the Slayer pinned against a tombstone and was now? Eww, again.
What had I gotten myself into here? My eyes narrowed. The blonde Slayer was
obviously struggling with herself. She seemed somewhat happy a moment ago
but now it was gone. Replaced by a blank look that was as much defeated as
hopeless. There was something pleading in her eyes that I could even see
from my position. Something hauntingly familiar.
Oh shit? How could I have been so stupid to not see it? Fine, the condition
was impossible for the time interval she was alive again but it was there.
Oh Ceiphied, not again. ?Spike, please leave me alone?? It was weak,
defeated and unconvincing. Lifeless. Just like? A burst of anger erupted in
me I hadn?t felt since my youth. Before I could actually allow myself to
think about it, the spell was already cast and ready.
?FLARE ARROW!? Spike moved only a fraction. That reaction was too late but
just enough to not blow his head clear off. Instead he was blown away from
the smaller blonde, bursting into flames. Buffy just stared in confusion and
curiosity at his thrashing. ?Goddamnit what??? Spike rolled on the ground,
trying to quell the flames. ?Really, what a pathetic sight. Giles asks me to
look up an addicted witch and what do I find? A Slayer and a vampire kissing
in the middle of a cemetery.? Buffy had the grace to look ashamed to the
ground. My gaze softened a little in compassion but my eyes narrowed at the
vampire just getting up again. A fireball made him duck and curse. ?Hey!? he
shouted dignified. ?That is none of your business. The Slayer and I share
just a little feeling, isn?t that right??
It would have been hilarious seeing how the vampire shot a pleading look at
the blonde, hadn?t I been so enraged by now. Buffy watched the whole thing
with? amusement? Good. ?Nobody.? Another arrow. ?Tells.? Fireball. ?Me.? A
Flare Lance that made him dive to the ground. ?What.? And now a few flashy
balls via Flare Bit so that he stays down. ?I.? And with a jump I was on top
of him. ?Should. Do!? I snarled directly in his face, making sure my eyes
were flashing a deep crimson.
?Bloody Hell, luv, what is your problem?? He squirmed from the heat and the
first arrow had obviously caused him a lot of pain. I leaned close to him,
fixing my gaze on his undead eyes that tried and miserably failed to convey
innocence. ?Do not play dumb with me, William. I know exactly what is going
on with her and you know it too. What did you tell her, hmm? That she isn?t
really alive? A monster? Like you? I have been there, vamp, I have seen it
all before and I failed the last person. That is why I take this personal
and that is why I cannot allow you to use her.?
There was a brief flicker of comprehension and then fear in his eyes. Hah, I
still got it! He tried to free himself from my grip before sending another
pleading look the Slayer?s way. ?Damn, she is insane! Help me, Slayer!
Buffy!? How truly pathetic. Buffy did not move, just watched. ?What a sight
the famous William, the Bloody, killer of two Slayers, screams for the help
of one like a small child. But I think I enjoyed that long enough.?
Gathering another fireball I planned to make quick work now when I felt the
air pressed out of my lungs and was suddenly the one on the back, an enraged
vampire over me in full game face.
Tactical miscalculation. I think I taunted a little too much and hadn?t
really taken in account the survival instinct of my foe. It was obvious that
even holding me down was causing him pain but Spike seemed to be able to
control it. ?Nobody threatens me, little girl. I think I risk a month-long
headache for you.? Baka, how could I have been so stupid.
Several defenses already on my lips when I saw him moving in on my neck, I
was probably as surprised as Spike at what happened next. ?NO!? Buffy
screamed before a whizzing sound indicated a thrown object. The vampire
looked down stupefied at the stake in his heart and then back up at the
Slayer who seemed no less shocked. ?And now killed by the one he loved. I
guess three is not your lucky number,? I finished my earlier taunt while one
of the most feared vampires in history exploded into dust.

(Tara)
Ouch, what hit me? Slowly the world came back into focus. The first thing I
saw were the concerned faces of Anya and the stranger. ?Uh?? I held a hand
to my head trying to shake loose the cobwebs in my brain. I hadn?t fainted
in? I couldn?t even remember when I did at all. ?I had the strangest dream.
You,? I pointed at Anya, ?were saying something about The Crossing.? When
only silence met me and the former vengeance demon refused to meet my eyes ?
not that the intense stare of the stranger was any less unsettling ?, a
shiver ran down my spine. I reached out with one hand for Anya?s and
quietly, almost frightful asked: ?It was a dream, wasn?t it?? My friend
looked up at me defeated and just shook her head.
?Oh sweet Goddess?? I promptly fell back into the easy chair and closed my
eyes, counting to hundred in Latin. Not that it helped. Anya was right. The
Crossing was an old prophecy that was known in many religions, paganism was
no exception there. Some said it was a myth, some said it was merely a
legend with no real ground in this realm. Yet, ever since coming to
Sunnydale and meeting with Willow and her friends, I was a bit more wary of
prophecies. Be it even a myth only. Every legend held a bit of truth. And
this one was too dangerous to be taken lightly.
?A-Are you sure?? I looked up at the stranger with questioning eyes. For the
first time he seemed to look a lot older when he actually was ? when again
if he knew Anya he could be about ANY age. ?It is not yet completed but
things are in motion. The last focus is here as is the portal.? Anya
groaned: ?Figures. After all this is the Hellmouth.? She perked up suddenly.
?Does that mean we just have to find and defend the focus? Xander told me
the opening of the Hellmouth is where the old High School was??
?Young One, this whole city could be the focus for all I know.? The ex-demon
?s shoulders slumped. ?Oh,? she said meekly and the spark of hope was
crushed for both of us. The stranger straightened up. ?However. Nothing is
lost yet. You are the last defense. After all your group has a reputation to
weather any sort of problems.? I cringed a little at his words. Wasn?t that
what we had been singing a few months ago before everything went to hell?
?Yeah sure,? Anya expressed my own thoughts on the matter with a huff. ?We
have an addicted witch attempting withdrawal, another who severed the
connection she had with her, a couple that can?t even bring up the courage
for marriage, a Slayer who doesn?t want to live anymore? Shall I go on?? The
stranger laughed as Anya glared at him. ?Blunt as ever I see. Your problems
soon will be insignificant, believe me.?
While the two continued arguing, something tugged on my senses. Closing my
eyes, I briefly shut out the two other persons altogether and concentrated
solely on the flickering, weak presence of? ?Willow!? There was no doubt
about that. Even so far apart as we were now in more than one sense of the
word, I could still feel the echo of the immense pain and the repeatedly
weakening spirit. Anya and the stranger looked up at my shout and then I
suddenly jumped out of the chair, the distance to the door crossed in a
flash.
For a moment I stood outside the shop, looking around and noting that it was
already dark. The other two stepped up beside me but the stranger stopped a
question from ex-demon. Feeling along the thin band that still connected me
with my f? mate, I spun around in a circle, concentrating on the spiritual
plane alone. A few seconds later I stopped and my eyes snapped open. It
clearly came from the direction of the Summers house. Not quite there but
nearby.
?Do you have her?? I nodded at the stranger?s question. He nodded and I was
momentarily distracted when he began glowing in a soft golden light. Anya
grabbed my hand and pulled me some distance away, which probably was a good
thing because the tall man had just transformed into a several feet high
dragon of pure gold. I considered the second fainting that night but the
fear for my mate?s well-being was stronger than my surprise. So when the
dragon lowered himself and offered me with a deep rumble to mount, I did not
hesitate a second.

(Willow)
Another shudder shook my drained body and I tumbled against the wall of the
alley, smashing into a stinking trash container. The foul stench didn?t
really register with me as I slumped down, knees drawn up to my chin. Just a
little rest. I hadn?t slept in two or maybe even more days? While high on
magic it didn?t register but now the physical demands became unbearable. I
couldn?t let them see me like this. I couldn?t go home in this state or they
would know what I had been doing.
Damn bastard! I hadn?t wanted his ?help?, I hadn?t wanted his magic but I
also hadn?t been able to resist. The temptation too strong, the taste too
daring and sweet. So sweet and fulfilling. For a fleeting second that is,
the spark of the moment. And struggling did not help my own sanity. I hadn?t
even done a single spell, just cast it all out again. And now, now I felt
like being on the threshold of death. Weak, empty and exhausted.
Tara. I was sorry I couldn?t make it up to her, undo what I had done, show
her that I had become better, that I didn?t let magic control me anymore.
Goddess, how much had I hurt her, had I hurt us. It tore me even more apart
now, made me more miserable. Such irony, so close to death it became so
horrible clear what a selfish person I had become. This was worse than
Cordelia Chase. How could I have been so self-righteous?
Buffy. I stumbled forward on my way to the Summer?s house, rather sure that
I wouldn?t make it and even then. There was nothing they could do. My spirit
was weakening, I knew, my life energy fading into non-existence. That last
boost had been too much. I?m so sorry, Buffy, I must be a big
disappointment. The only thing I had wanted to do was help. I had wanted to
help so much that I had totally lost sight of the cause and the means. In
reality I had no real power. I was just a weak girl who had tasted more than
she could chew. Stripped of all those layers I was still the shy geek that I
had been all my life?
I wasn?t any help like this. Maybe they were both better of without me. All
I did was hurt the people I love. I think I knew now how it was for Buffy
but other than her I was just a mere girl, I was doing it all for myself
while she at least tried to protect her friends in earnest. What excuse did
I have? I wanted to join in this fight, had said so myself. Why? Because it
was an option to be someone, someone important. And that want had become an
addiction. The magic was only a part of it, the tool. I was addicted to be
someone important and had become scared that this would be taken from me.
Naked before the world, I was now, unprotected from the truth. And as I
slumped to the pavement of Rodeo Drive, I wondered how I could have become
that way. How I could look into the mirror and not hate myself. Everything
was slowly spiraling away from me. My awareness slipped into blissful
darkness, the frantic voices I heard in the background did not matter
anymore. Yes, it was better that way. They would grieve but? They were
better off without me.
My only regret was never being able to really apologize to Tara. The one
woman who had made me feel important in the first place. I shouldn?t have
tainted that wonderful present by playing with her trust. And I also
regretted never telling Buffy that I? I?

(Buffy)
I stood rooted to the spot and unable to move. My eyes were fixed on the
spot where the witch ? I assumed ? and Spike had struggled just a few
moments ago. Or better I was staring at the spot where moments ago dust had
been the result of a recently staked vampire.
Forcing my gaze slightly lower I fixed the stranger with an incredulous
look. ?Did I just stake Spike?? The girl grinned and nodded. It had been an
automatic reaction. Seeing a stranger in danger of an enraged vampire had
set off my instincts I guess. I hadn?t even considered that she might be
able to defend herself or if Spike would really be able to follow through
with his intentions. Spike was a stubborn person? vampire so I figured with
the right motivation like his unlife at stake. Oh yeah, it had been at stake
then. At the end of my stake.
?I staked Spike,? I repeated for myself in wonder once more before finally
allowing the truth to settle in. Then, as if something had just? clicked, I
chose to jump up into the air and not caring who could hear released a short
cry of freedom. Spike was dust. Wohoo! I had always warned him that I only
needed one good reason for a staking. In the last months I had not
considered myself a worthy reason. An ?innocent? life in danger, however,
seemed to be just the right reason. And damn, it felt GOOD!
Remembering the witch I quickly composed myself and grinning sheepishly
knelt down next to her. ?You okay?? The pretty redhead ? though not looking
very much like Willow ? shrugged and struggled to her feet. ?Yeah. Just hurt
pride. I guess I should have learned by now not to tease too much. And don?t
worry about the little eruption of happiness. I won?t tell anyone.? She
winked at me and I felt myself blushing. Something I hadn?t done very often
lately.
?You said Giles sent you. For? Willow?? I asked curiously as we began
walking slowly through the graveyard. The understanding seemed to be there
naturally and I assumed that if she was really here for what she claimed to
be, she would probably know more than just Willow?s situation. ?Yep. That?s
me. Call me? Scarlet, for now.? I raised an eyebrow. ?Scarlet, huh? Well, I?
m Buffy.? I held out my hand, instantly trusting the other woman for some
reason. Scarlet took the offered hand with a smile. ?I know.? A spark of
electricity jolted through my body. There was some incredible power but also
something else. I couldn?t quite pinpoint the feeling that suddenly decided
to stir but was given not much time when the moment was rudely interrupted.
With the reaction speed that came only from years of battle experience, I
dived to one sight while Scarlet took the other one.
Two newbie vamps had obviously taken our distraction for a good time to
attack. I was about to launch into an attack when Scarlet made a hand
gesture, cupping her hands: ?DOLPH STRASH!? A booming sound could be heard
when the high speed wave of bluish-black energy smashed into one vamp and
disintegrated him on the spot. Unfortunately for his companion, he was right
behind the first one and soon shared his unlucky fate.
Scarlet grinned at me. ?Sorry, didn?t want to take away your job.? I
shrugged, signaling that it was alright. ?Don?t worry. Just another thing
taken away.? The attempt of humor went gravely wrong for no apparent reason.
My smile fell and my actual pretty good mood dimmed down. ?Way to go,
Summers?? Before I could finish verbally demolishing myself, I felt a gentle
hand on my shoulder and found soft ruby eyes watching me with such
compassion that I barely restraint a whimper. There was something in these
eyes? ?It is hard, isn?t it? When there is nothing there even though you
want to. Even though you know the people around you love you, that there
maybe is a person who needs you. And still you feel so little. And nobody
understands it.?
We had stopped and now I reached up to tug some red hair out of Scarlet?s
face. I didn?t really know what I was doing. I barely knew the women and
yet? ?But you do, don?t you?? There! That was it. This familiar, haunting
expression. Not directly? No, she hadn?t been dead. But I had seen that look
briefly in Willow?s eyes than I confessed where I had been. This naked
realization and pain. But in Scarlet?s eyes this pain had faded, couldn?t be
recognized by someone who didn?t know.
The woman took my hand in hers and again a shockwave traveled through my
body. An emotion that made me feel strangely? alive. Not at all what Spike
had been doing. No, this was different. ?Yes, I do. Do you want to know what
this is? Why it feels like there?s something important missing, just out of
reach?? I could not help I was glued to her every word. I had asked Tara
what was wrong with me but she didn?t have an answer and now there was a
stranger who ignited a whirlwind of confusing emotions offering me a branch
to pull me out of that streaming river that I couldn?t swim against anymore.
?Why?? I whispered in scared anticipation. Scarlet stared at me intently and
again I found myself unable to look away. ?Your soul. It hasn?t been
properly reconnected.? I blinked in surprise, not quite understanding. ?I
read about the spell. I don?t know how it is possible after such a long time
but that is what usually happens when someone is ripped from the Sea.?
?The Sea?? Scarlet laughed. ?The place there you were. Where everything
comes from and everything goes back to in the end. The Sea of Chaos.? I wasn
?t one to debate religion or worldview with someone who could shoot
high-pressure shockwaves like a spear. ?Oh. So what was that about my soul?
I still have a soul, right? Otherwise I would be a zombie or something like
that. A Slayer-zombie, eww?? I trailed off, thinking once again how lame
that was but Scarlet laughed. ?No, no. That?s not it. Your soul is just not?
there yet.? At my dumb look, she further elaborated: ?When the soul is
ripped from the Sea, it usually takes awhile for it to settle back into the
former vessel. Your connection had been severed for over three months after
all.?
?So Spike was right. I came back wrong,? I sighed and dropped my head,
starting once again on the path we had set through the graveyard. Scarlet
though had other ideas. ?NO!? The force and desperation in her voice jolted
me more than being whirled around by the slightly taller woman. ?Don?t think
that please. With the spell that was used on you, that period should have
passed by now. You are NOT wrong. It is just an adjustment process.? Her
tone had change to a whisper, almost pleading. I tried to smile but it was
fake, only halfhearted attempt. ?Is there anything I can do?? Scarlet shook
her head. ?Time. Only time.?
We stood there for a few more minutes before reluctantly letting go. Yet
neither of us moved, caught in the moment. A part of me wanted to reach out
again. The other woman understood and there was so much pain as well. I
wanted to take that away. Share her burden? Buffy! The echo was weak but I
was pretty sure that I hadn?t? ?Will?? Scarlet looked around alarmed. We
were not far from the house. Only a few blocks. She was near here somewhere.
Willow hadn?t come home the entire day and that had worried me. ?Over
there,? the other woman pointed down the street to my house. We had
subconsciously both broken out in a run. And what I saw now let my blood run
cold. ?Will??

(Anya)
?Hey, wait for me!? Urk, I had forgotten how quick those things were. I was
running an already lost race to catch up with my friends who quickly were
only a sparkle in the night?s sky. Daryial was still fast for his age, that
I had to give him. Alright with his kin?s lifespan he was in his
mid-thirties compared to human age at best. After a few more seconds running
in a vain attempt to catch up to them, I came to a halt, panting heavily.
?Now? That was pointless.? I had felt the echo as well but would have put it
up as the usual thing you encountered daily in Sunnydale had it not been for
Tara?s sudden reaction. I knew they were mated as powerful as it could get.
All the differences aside, they would hurt greatly if the other was in pain
or even worse. I had been there, done all that. And I was afraid to bring
all those memories to the surface again.
Yet, maybe they needed help. Concentrating briefly a gust of wind began
swirling around me and with a cry of ?RAYWING!? I was airborne, safely
enclosed in a bubble of wind currents. I was reluctant to use this sort of
magic after such a long time, the memories had only slowly returned in the
last months. Before this had only been blissful ignorance. I had really
believed that I had been a demon all my life until the day my necklace had
been lost. That was not true though and I didn?t really want to tell anyone
about it. Remembering hurt too much?
At least compared to a winged Golden Dragon a woman flying in a wind bubble
wasn?t that eye-catching. Maneuvering over the city, I considered my options
and finally set of in the direction of the Summers? house. It was a good
guess, I supposed. Willow ought to have enough common sense to at least try
and get in the close vicinity of either her home or the Magic Box. And the
last was already ruled out.
I looked down and almost lost my control over the spell. Xander? Yep, that
was him. Running at reckless speed through the streets. He was heading the
same direction although I had no idea how he had gotten the clue. Oh well,
better pick him up. Only a few feet away I was contemplating whether to call
out a warning or just surprise him? Hmm, more like scare him to death.
Anyway, the choice was taken from me as the night?s events seemed to
virtually go bang after bang. Not really watching what happened around him
my fiancé missed the pack of vampires that suddenly prepared to jump him.
?Xander, behind you!? I screamed in panic and raised my hands, undoing the
bubble and charging for an attack instinctively. Xander with years of
fighting on the Hellmouth had the presence of mind to turn his half-leap at
my yell into a roll, ducking under an attackers swing. By that time I had my
incantation already completed. ?WIND BRID!? Wind shot in a barrage of small
shock waves from my open palms like tiny arrows, hitting the vampire that
was behind Xander back into a wall. The air version of a Flare Arrow wasn?t
as strong as its counterpart but the added benefit of reduced sight gave me
the time for another casting. ?Wind, crimson flame! Grant the power of
thunder to my hand! DIGU VOLT!? One of the pair that had remained standing
dove to the side but the other wasn?t as lucky as the lightning bolt
practically burned him alive. Stunned his companion stared at the spot where
only ash remained now and therefore totally missed Xander moving in and
staking him. I turned to look for the last one but he was already gone.
Smart, I say.
Then I returned my attention to my gaping boyfriend I couldn?t help the
smirk on my face. Quite frankly I didn?t even try. I knew I hadn?t been that
much help in fighting since I was human again, I could neither match
male/Slayer strength nor did I have the abilities of Willow and Tara. Or so
I had thought. Willow, right. Priorities, Anya, I chided myself. I could
deal with questions and consequences later. Right now I let myself fell back
into my old life?s personality.
?Come on,? I urged, ?they might need us.? Grabbing a sputtering Xander?s
hand I once again created the wind bubble, eliciting a suppressed squeak
from my involuntary flight companion.

(Willow)
I wasn?t sure how long I had been lying there on the cold pavement. I wasn?t
even sure of the exact where. I could have been lying hours on the street ?
which would be unlikely ? or just a few minutes on the sidewalk. In any case
I could pick up the distant chorus of voices. Frantic and frightened. Buffy?
Was that Dawn? My jumbled mind couldn?t make it out clearly and everything
was weaved in thick darkness. Why was I still alive? I should be dead by
now. I would be shortly, that was for sure.
?Will? Come on? Damn it, Scarlet! We are loosing her!? Who was?? Didn?t
matter. So weak I could barely concentrate. A jolt of power surged through
me. Not tainted, yet black. Not like Rack?s. More soothing and? right. It
didn?t seem to mix good with my system though since it was already fleeting
again. Latching desperately on some of the strength provided by the unknown
force, I opened my eyes with extreme effort.
Everything around me was tinted in bright, fluorescent colors, the human
shapes kneeling over me included. I could make out the outlines of who had
to be Buffy and someone else as well as Dawn in the background. The teenager
was such a bright white it was blinding to look directly while Buffy?s aura
was mixed with both light and darkness. The stranger though?
I gasped. There was a mixture of about everything, in a quantity and quality
that not even Rack could match, that I was sure of. Dominating though was a
strong black with red fiery outlines. Who was that woman? If I had ever seen
her before, I would have recognized her on the spot. Her aura was just too
magnificent and all-out beautiful.
The burst of power passed and I fell again, back into the cold void absent
of any feeling, whispers of sweet release lulling me further into oblivion.
I couldn?t move, couldn?t fight. I wanted to, there was so much I had to do,
so much amends to make, things to make right again. However, my heart was
weak and my spirit that had struggled for control for the last few months
was tired. It would be so easy to just let go and?
Light. Not bright or blinding. Soft and warm. Completing. Tara? Yes, this
gentle caress, this sense of belonging I would not even forget in death.
There was an urge though in the touch, a desperation fueled by immense
panic, sadness and? guilt? ?? back? Come back, Willow? please!? Mustering
all my remaining strength, I lunged for the mentally outstretched hand.
Spectral fingers brushed like tendrils against each other and I felt them
tighten into a bundle of joined spirits. A connection I had missed for too
long and only now truly understood what I had lost. What I had so uncaringly
played with.
The healing whiteness washed over my tired soul and spirit, covered me like
a blanket and washed away all the poison addiction had left. At least for a
moment but I was glad, even if it was only temporary. For this wonderful
feeling I would do ANYTHING. Goddess, I didn?t deserve her love! However,
she wouldn?t let me go. Tara?s spirit was wrapped around mine and would
never let go.
There had been another element there though. Just for a brief moment I had
thought to feel Buffy. Her strength, her vivid aura, supporting and
stabilizing. It hadn?t been there for a long time and so I didn?t recognize
it at first. But she had been there, helping somehow.
At that realization came my eyes finally fluttered open to meet a blue ocean
of swirling emotions. I could only smile weakly, hoping to convey the
message that I was okay. Briefly my gaze flickered over my shoulder and I
caught a glimpse of my best friend?s form. Unlike before the image was much
clearer. That was then I saw it. The undeniable truth and I could not
suppress the tears as I finally saw exactly why Buffy had been so detached
lately. I should have seen it earlier, I should have noticed. But that would
have been like acknowledging the grave realization that I had somehow
failed?

(Buffy)
It was a sight that I would not forget in a lifetime. The form of my best
friend, life? or better slayerlong confident sprawled out on the pavement of
Rodeo Drive looking worse than a junkie after an overdoses of several mixed
drugs. And this even from several feet afar. My stomach threatened to
convulse at the sight and I was glad that the brief bit of slaying was
enough to work out dinner. I wasn?t sure if I could have kept it in.
?Willow!? Springing out of the shocked trance I had found myself in for a
moment, the fearful cry from my sister brought me back to reality and I was
beside the redhead in a flash. Scarlet knelt next to me while I cradled
Willow carefully in my arms. From up close she looked even worse. And the
dirty clothing, the rings under her eyes, they were rather insignificant
compared to the shallow breathing and the weak pulse. ?Will? Willow! Come
on!? I shook her in desperate hope for some kind of reaction while the other
redhead seemed to simply observe critically. I could feel her further
slipping away and I was no fool to think that it would be a place to bring
her back from. I couldn?t let her go. All the detachment and dull feelings
didn?t matter right now. I was slowly getting my life back in order. Spike
was gone, I might get a job, this newcomer seemed to have some sort of
understanding of what I was going through? But could I do all this without
my friends? Could I do it without Willow?
NO! The thought alone was blasphemy. I loved her. More than I could even
grasp, that much had always been clear to me. No one had ever understood me
better. There might never be a chance that she could be mine and maybe that
was even better so. She was for another and maybe that was just the way it
had to be. Maybe we had simply missed that chance and now our paths had
already been determined. Foremost she was my best friend though, as close as
a sister could be, even more maybe. That would always be mine and I could
not lose her. I WOULD NOT lose her!
My heart skipped a beat as I felt Willow?s pulse missing one. Shoving aside
the troubling thoughts of clarity that had befallen me at the side of my
best friend in such a state, I shook her again. Dawn was by now frantic but
stayed hovering in the background. ?Damn it, Scarlet! We are losing her!? I
said through clenched teeth. The other woman nodded and reached out with one
hand to press her palm against Willow?s forehead. Closing her eyes she
mumbled a few words. A cascade of blackness seemed to swirl around the two
for a moment but the darkness didn?t feel evil. More like? calming. It
obviously had the effect on Willow who relaxed somewhat.
I briefed a sigh of relief but frowned with a sick feeling rising in my
stomach as Scarlet?s look stayed serious and worried. ?It won?t last. That
was only temporary. Her spirit, her soul is detaching from her body. All the
magic is cast out and there is no support. She has overexerted her link to
the spiritual plane. Her balance is totally gone.? At my blank stare, she
evaluated. ?Your friend is, to put it bluntly, totally magical dry.?
Before I had time to process the information, my sensitive hearing picked up
a sound that resembled huge wings flapping in the night air. What could
produce such a?? ?Oh my god!? Dawn suddenly exclaimed and my head snapped up
to witness the quiet unbelievable sight of a majestic lizard, a dragon no
doubt, in pure gold. There was someone on its back I observed as the
creature began a graceful dive for the ground. For a moment I wondered why
none of our neighbors were attracted by the spectacle but quickly passed it
of as the usual Sunnydale ignorance. What was far more interesting was that
the passenger soon revealed herself to be Tara?
?Hmm, it has been some time since I saw a Golden Dragon and in this part of
the world as well,? Scarlet mused beside me and I stared at her skeptically.
She seemed totally unimpressed. Tara in the meantime had dismounted the huge
creature which soon afterwards proceeded to shimmer into a human, male
shape. Forcefully pushing rising questions aside, I made some space for Tara
who was, not surprisingly, totally out of her mind already.

(Tara)
Flying through the air on a good dozen large dragon is a thrill, I had to
admit that. But the excitement was somewhat dimmed through the thick knot of
worry that had settled in my stomach? or maybe right in the heart after all.
I could tell with a frightening clarity that Willow was in terrible danger.
Her presence was barely sensible over the already strained connection. Her
very life force was slowly getting weaker and weaker. I feared the worst.
?Down there!? I pointed downwards when we were almost over Rodeo Drive and
the Summers house. There was some commotion below and it didn?t need a
genius to figure out the what and who. Hold on a little bit more. I?m not
letting you get away. I said we need distance, not that you die on me, I
silently vowed. I regretted so much already. Not being strong enough to
stand by her side and help her through. Something Giles and I had in common
and which my phone call had showed me. We were as much in error as our
charge/lover with leaving. People could not solve all their problems alone,
sometimes turning your back in these situations in hopes of getting a
reaction is the worst thing you could do. Yes, I was still mad at Willow for
the memory thing but? She couldn?t die. Not yet, not ever. I don?t think I
could live without her.
Descending gracefully Daryial landed in the middle of the otherwise deserted
street and I lost no time. Subconsciously using some magic to brace for the
jump I was down and beside Buffy and Willow in no time. Goddess. I gasped at
the sight of my mate in such a state. The mental strain was as evident as
the physical one, more so. Whatever happened to this sweet girl who held my
own soul in her hands? She couldn?t leave now, taking it all away. I wouldn?
t let her. But what could I do?
I sat there hovering helplessly for a moment before I noticed the stranger.
?Are you her mate?? I looked up at the redheaded woman with tears of
aggravation already clouding my vision. Her aura was brilliant even in my
less than attentive state I could see that. Nodding slowly to her question,
I was about to ask something but the other woman already went on. ?I?m?
Lina. The one Giles said he?d sent.? Ah. ?We don?t have much time. Take her
hand,? she urged though the request was rather unnecessary since I was
already doing this, grasping my comatose lover?s hand tightly, desperately
trying to reach her.
Lina nodded approvingly. ?Now. Don?t force it. Cast out all negatives
emotions. All doubts. Let her know how much you still care and that you don?
t want to lose her.? Following the instructions I closed my eyes and forced
my breathing to slow down into a regular, calming beat, focusing on the
happy times we had together. The secret meetings in my dorm room, the night
when Willow had made her choice, the immense joy I had felt then and while I
was slowly pulled into a circle of friends, no longer being the nobody.
?You too.? So concentrated on channeling my emotions I almost jumped as I
felt another presence connecting with ours. Lina?s had already been lurking
in the background, supporting. But that was clearly Buffy?s. The depth of
her feelings was immense and powerful. As much as I had always suspected and
known. My respect for Buffy Summers had always been great. I knew she was in
love with Willow since they meet probably but even when Dad and the rest of
my family came to take me away, she could have easily taken her chance then.
But she had declared me family, simply because of what I was for Willow. It
was a love I couldn?t quite grasp and never really hope to match in its many
facets.
Something stirred in the mixture we had created and I could feel a rush of
power. Most of it was being drained away from me into Willow but that was
alright. I could feel her spirit relaxing and stabilizing. Her breathing was
beginning to return to normal and I breathed a deep sigh of relief and
overjoyed happiness. Opening my eyes they briefly met with green ones,
shining with wonder and an overwhelming sense of love, before they drifted
over to Buffy?s who had edged away to give us some privacy. I was puzzled at
the pain flashing over her features.
?Willow? Baby, what is it?? She turned back to me with a look of sadness and
guilt. ?Her? Her soul? I saw it? It isn?t properly anchored?? That was about
all she managed before falling back into a most likely restless but at least
harmless sleep. I glanced sideways at Buffy and wondered how I could have
missed that possibility when the Slayer had asked me what was wrong with
her. Goddess, Willow must feel so bad about it. And as if she hadn?t enough
to deal with.

(Xander)
For one of the few times in my life I was totally speechless. My wit left
somewhere between the first spell and being yanked into the air flying on
magical wind through the night. What the hell had possessed my fiancée? As
if the mysterious guy hadn?t been enough, now this. And then there was the
overwhelming worry about my best friend. I don?t know why I trusted the
words of the truthfully rather suspicious stranger but otherwise taking
chances with Willow?s condition? No.
So I just stared straight ahead as we streaked through the night?s sky,
closing in on our destination. I tried heard not to look down because I was
sure that I would panic and doing that in front of my girlfriend wouldn?t do
my male ego any good. Though I doubt that my initial reaction had done much
for my reputation. However, could you blame me?
?It seems the worst is over already.? Anya?s voice forced me to abandon the
original plan of not looking down. We were directly over the street in front
of the Summers house. On the sidewalk was a group of people amidst them
Buffy, Dawn, Tara and Willow cradled in the latter?s arms. There were also
two strangers I noted while Anya slowly lowered us to the ground. One of
them was a tall man with a mixture of blonde almost golden and ebony-black
hair. Buffy and Dawn had retreated from the pair and next to the Slayer
stood another redhead without any significant resemblance to Willow other
than the hair color which seemed to be a lot brighter though, blending into
orange.
I didn?t know if I should be disappointed that our entrance was only noticed
with slight interest and a quirked eyebrow from Buffy who like the others
were mostly concentrated in worry on the pair. I took a step forward as my
feet finally touched solid ground again but then hesitated. Willow appeared
to be sleeping now. For a moment I had believed her to be much worse but
apparently whatever happened to her had passed and settled into simple
wariness. They should leave the sidewalk though. It was getting cold
outside? Correction it was already cold. The brief flight had chilled me to
the bone and I really would like some warmth now and those two should be in
a bed.
Buffy picked up my thoughts as it seemed and moved forward to gently take
Willow in her arms. Tara stood up as well and you could see that she was
tired as well. Maybe not so much physically as emotional. The other witch
rested her head slightly on the Slayer?s shoulder and the blonde smiled
faintly. I felt somewhat out of the loop here and really wanted to know what
happened and who those other people were.
?Will she be okay?? Tara asked the unfamiliar woman timidly. The stranger
studied the other redhead for a moment and under the tender gaze I could see
something else. A fire that I didn?t want to be on the receiving end of. ?I
suggest both of you stay with her tonight. With a lot of rest she should be
okay.? A barely restrained growl came out of her throat which made me jump.
She fixed the two blonde woman with an intense gaze. ?My notes said that
dealer?s name was Rack, correct?? Buffy nodded. ?Yes, his hideout is always
in motion,? the Slayer explained seriously. There was some sort of silent
communication between the two. Buffy hesitated to say something but
obviously decided against it.
Turning around sharply the woman walked briskly away from the pair with that
sort of angry determination on her face that could make your blood run cold.
?Don?t worry. I?ll find him.? I shivered at her tone. I think I understood
now what Buffy had tried to ask. From the sound of it this was more than
personal for the stranger for some reason. Still? I heard the story from the
Slayer and this Rack person didn?t seem someone to be taken lightly.
?Shouldn?t someone be following her,? I said, voicing my presence for the
first time since arriving. Buffy turned around with Willow in her arms and
Tara still leaning against her. ?I don?t think I?m much help in a magical
duel.? Good point. ?Besides I have the impression that it shouldn?t be Scar?
Lina that we ought to worry about.? And with that the three vanished into
the house, quickly followed by Dawn and the other stranger.
I looked at my fiancée with a questioning look, not quite getting all what
had just transpired. Anya apparently misinterpreted my look and smiled
reassuringly. ?It?s alright. I make sure she?s okay. I have some unfinished
business with Rack too.? And with a quick kiss on the lips she was gone and
I was left feeling rather stupefied standing out there alone. That was not
quite the reaction I had expected. Not at all.
Shrugging and deciding that standing around here would not get me any
answers I followed the rest into the house, now not only worried for the
girls but for Anya as well.

(Lina)
She was supposed to be my charge now. Seeing the redhead like this had
brought back a lot of memories I would have liked to be erased completely.
It reminded me painfully of myself before Giles had found me. Though the
cause might have been a different one, the outcome had been about the same.
I had been cool and collected while dealing with the emergency situation and
it had all ended well. But how close had I come to lose the person I was
asked to help before I had even met her?
If I was honest, I didn?t want to be here at all. I had not imagined it
would be that bad, that similar to what I had gone through about six years.
It was a like a sick, twisted and horrible mirror, a rehearsal I could very
well do without. But I was here now and I couldn?t? wouldn?t turn my back on
this. Maybe I could do better this time. Help them get through it where I
myself had lost that traumatic struggle and the one important person in the
process?
No one should go through this much pain and heartache as I had. That time
had almost cost me my life and it was a miracle that it hadn?t. No, Willow
deserved better as much did the Slayer. There was some sort connection to
the petite blonde which I was hesitant to approach or dare fathom, afraid of
what I might find. All that was unimportant (zweitrangig) now. I never was
one who could stand needless destruction. Yes, I had made myself a
reputation of not being one to care much who or what might have been damaged
through my spells in the past but I think I had kind of a righteous streak.
A ?normal? hero I had been once titled by someone very dear to me? I shook
my head trying to stuff the familiar heartache. Personal abuse was something
I reacted rather badly at.
Stopping I waited for the one that had been following me to reveal him- or
herself. A moment later the blonde female who had arrived late at the scene
in a Raywing bubble which didn?t actually surprise me stepped up next to me.
Her boyfriend, I assumed, seemed to be somewhat stunned but I had sensed her
potential from far away already. ?Did you find him?? she asked, staring up
ahead into the half-illuminate alley. I narrowed my eyes in concentration
and finally nodded. The markings were distinctive for one sensitive enough
to sense it.
Turning halfway to my unwanted companion, I quickly evaluated her strength.
She smiled at me. ?Oh, don?t worry. I?m not going to do anything. I think I?
m a bit too rusty for a full-out magic battle. My name is Anya by the way.?
Anya, Anya? I mentally sorted through the list of people mentioned in Giles?
file. Ah yes, the ex-demon. Okay, that at least answered some of her
familiarity with my country?s form of magic. And that was all I needed to
know right now.
?Lina,? I introduced myself with a short nod, not bothering with a pseudonym
anymore. ?Just make sure that no one is bothering us.? Anya grinned but the
serious expression betrayed her amusement at the whole thing. It seemed I
wasn?t the only one to settle an old debt here. Not surprisingly actually.
With Rack?s line of work the possibility was high to get on the list of a
vengeance demon.
Focusing my attention back on the hidden sorceress lair I let the fury that
I felt for him and what he had done not only to Willow but also to me fuel
me from the inside. Gathering my magical reserves I let any caution drop and
chose to make an entrance worth of Lina Inverse, Dra-Mata and Bandit Killer.
?Source of all power, crimson fire burning bright! Gather together in my
hand and become and inferno?? Anya took a few steps back as I finished the
incantation and a ball of crackling fire appeared in the area where the
hidden hideout was. From experience I knew that Rack had this place heavily
shielded and therefore I wouldn?t run danger of scorching any poor soul
within alive.
?BURST FLARE!?
And in a fiery blaze a blue tongue of flame was rising to the sky, the
invisible spell broken immediately. I moved forward and blasted the door of
what had become a raging inferno already. Payback time.

End of Part 1

Author?s Note

This was a good point to stop. I was debating whether to include the
Lina-Rack confrontation but if I had that would have turned out to be rather
thin. And I think I will have too much fun at this to just cut it short.
Things to clear. For all of you that have not seen one bit of Slayers. Don?t
worry that much. I have seen it once, with the end of Season one and a good
half of Next missing due to my father not paying our Pay-TV bill in time,
grr? Most of my information I am pulling from Slayers Universe
(www.inverse.org). Such as name spelling, spell incantations and the like.
So if you are confused about the spelling of some spells I use the main
names being issued there such as ?Dragu Slave? instead of ?Dragon Slave? and
so on.
Anya was one of those twists that just happened. It just fit at this time.
Daryial is my own character. I don?t know yet if he will play a bigger part
in the future or not.

I think that?s all for this part. Feedback in all forms like email (addy is
in the header) and reviews is as always appreciated, wanted and needed.

Ja ne, yours

Matthias