Fic: Triune (23/?) B/W/T NC-17

["TheBear" <thebear@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>]

Title: Triune

Author: The Bear!

Spoilers: up through season 5

Pairing: Buffy/Willow/Tara (Some of the other Scoobies might get a
little some-some as well)

Summary: Ends the Triad Trilogy- Sequel to the Please Trilogy. The new
Triad deals with an angry Hellgod and new relationships are on the
horizon

Warnings: NC17 Ahoy! I Love BDSM. I Love chains and whips. I love
Sex! If any of these gives you the wiggins, then so will this story.
(Part 23, mostly PG13/Rish. Sorry. There will be W/T NC17age in the
next bit- maybe even some W/B/T goodness as well.]

Disclaimer: If I owned 'em, they'd have to show it on the Ecstasy
Network.

========== BtVS ==========

Part 23

========== BtVS ==========

"Jeeze, out of the soup and into the even thicker soup," Faith thought
as they descended into the smog-filled LA basin. Back in Giles little
BMW and on the road again after lunch and Faith was still mulling over
the conversation they'd had at the McDonalds. 

Xander was driving again. Tara was in the front passenger's seat, still
sitting sideways facing Xander, but her eyes were closed and she
appeared to be napping. Faith was sitting behind Xander, copying Tara's
position, except with her feet stretched out across the back seat
instead of tucked under her.

"So, B's decided to give up the ol' stick shift herself, huh?" Faith
thought in wonder. "Sure she seemed pretty into the post patrol kissin'
and gropin', but she'd never go for the full Unhh!, leastwise not with
me. Soon as I'd try to move south-o'-the-border, it was always 'no,
don't. Angel.' yeah, like Angel was ever gonna be able to scratch that
itch. I always knew Red was pantin' for her big time, but I never
figured her for havin the guts to go for it; especially not as long as
she had her little dog-boy. I sure as hell never figured B for two
girls at once!" 

Faith broke off the visual contemplation of her boots for a moment and
glanced at the serene-looking blond in the front seat. "I remember the
first time I saw you, blondie. You were all nervous and stuttering like
you were gonna fall apart. Now you're all Miss Calm, Cool and
Collected. you know, I still feel like crap for what I said to you that
night. Yeah, I feel better now that I apologized, but I still feel like
crap, how's that work? I thought it was supposed to. You know, I don't
even know what it was supposed to be like. I never thought I'd be able
to even apologize to any of you, ever. Now you forgave me, and Xander's
all with the forgiveness- and I did some pretty fricken bad stuff to
Xan-man. and if I still feel so much pain for those things, how am I
supposed to deal with B? I did stuff to her that makes everything I did
to everyone else like it was nothing." 

Faith's eyes dropped back down, away from Tara and to where she was
wringing her hands in her lap. "Crap!" she mentally chastised herself,
jerking her hands apart. "I gotta pull myself together here! Ready or
not, I'm about to see her face to face." Faith craned her head around
and looked out the window behind her, thinking, "I bet I could dive out
right here, jump that rail and be gone before they even stopped the car.
and how pathetic is that? God, I'm so messed up."

She jumped suddenly at the sound of Tara's voice. 

"Nervous?" Tara asked, her eyes open and locked on the dark-haired
Slayer. 

"What?" Faith asked, wide eyed and feeling a little guilty at the
thought's she'd been having. "It's not like my life would be worth a
crap if I ran," she mused. "Life on the run doesn't sound much fun."

"You seem a little jumpy. Are you nervous about seeing Buffy?" Tara
asked, her voice not mocking, but curious.

"Christ! Try terrified!" Faith thought. She answered the blonde's
question a little less openly, "Um, well. we didn't exactly part on the
best terms."

"What happened?" asked Xander.

Faith caught his glance in the rearview mirror, and he must have seen
the fear on her face, because he immediately began to ramble.

"Not that. I mean if you don't feel, want, if you don't want to. and
I'll just shut up and drive now." Xander said, moving his focus back to
the road and hunching his shoulders a little.

"Damn, I guess I'm not the only one who's a little freaked out by all
this," Faith thought. "B never told you guys what happened?" she asked,
a little surprised.

It was Tara who answered, "No, she never really talked about it. Just
that Angel was alive and you were in jail." She looked at Xander, as if
asking for confirmation.

Faith looked back to the rearview, but Xander didn't meet her eyes when
he answered.

"Actually, she never mentioned it to me at all. I just heard it from
Willow, same as she told you I guess," he replied to Tara.

"I'll give 'em the abbreviated version of it," Faith thought. "Don't
really want to revisit all the emotional stuff right now- don't want to
fricken cry again at the moment." Out loud she said, "Wasn't much too
it, really. We were arguing; big shocker there, huh? Anyways, we were
arguing, and then this Watcher's council jerk pops up and starts
shooting at us,"

Both Xander and Tara gasped at that.

"Buffy jumped me, knocked me down, saved my life. and then I bailed; got
the hell outta there and ended up at the police station. The rest is me
in a cell." Her voice was dry and even, but inside she was struggling
to keep the emotions surrounding those events from overwhelming her.

"Buffy never said anything!" Tara sounded outraged.

"I'm sure she didn't want to worry us," Xander said flatly.

"Damn, Xan-man sound a little bitter," Faith thought. Seeing Tara's
eyes narrow as she glanced at him, she mused "Blondie caught it too."

Tara's expression changed back to normal as she looked back at Faith.
"Why?" she asked.

Faith deliberately misconstrued the witch's question, saying, "Xan-man's
probably got it, you know how B likes to protect you guys."

"No, Faith," Tara said. "You went to the police, when you could have
run. Why?"

"I." Faith stopped, unsure what to say in answer to that question.
Finally, she mumbled, "I couldn't, y'know, run away from it, I guess. I
mean, if I was gonna do the whole redemption thing, I hadda pay the
piper, right?" 

Faith dropped her eyes to her lap, trying to escape Tara's stare.
"Damn, it's like she's looking right through me!" she thought. She
glanced up after a moment to see that the blond witch was still staring
at her with a calculating look on her face, "like she's trying to figure
something out- maybe like why I'm lying to her," Faith thought. "If you
keep pushing, Blondie, I just might tell you the truth; and I don't
think you're gonna like the answer."

========== BtVS ==========

Buffy sighed heavily as she watched Willow getting dressed. "You are so
beautiful, Willow," she said in a lazy, happy voice.

Willow turned around from the mirror and gave Buffy one of her big,
teeth-baring grins.

"Oh God!" Buffy thought. Out loud she hummed, "Mmm, Topless, grinning
Willow. It really is the perfect gift."

Willow's grin got even bigger as she giggled happily. "You sure you
don't like fully naked Willow even better?" she teased.

"Oh you are a little vixen, aren't you, pet? Always tempting me." Buffy
thought. Teasing right back, she said, "Naked Willow has a lot going
for her, it's true. But, there's something a little naughty and fun
about half-naked Willow. And, I have to say, fully clothed Willow has
the benefit that I can take her out in public without getting arrested."
She cupped her chin and pursed her lips for several as though pondering
a weighty decision before she said, "I really can't decide. I think
I'll just have to have all three."

Willow laughed out loud at that. She reached her arms up over her head
and let the silky fabric slide down over her. She made a sound that was
somewhere between a sigh and a hum and brushed her hands over her satin
covered breasts. "Ya'know, I've never really gone without a bra, much.
It feels."

"Sexy? Daring?" Buffy interjected when the redhead paused.

Willow met her lover's eyes and nodded. "Yeah, really sexy!" Her hips
and shoulders swayed exaggeratedly as she walked over to where Buffy was
sitting on the edge of the bed. "Willow Rosenberg, sex kitten. Who'd a
thunk it?"

"Well, it beats the heck out of 'old reliable'" Buffy teased her girl,
recalling when she'd made the mistake of using that particular
description for her friend. "Not a pretty picture!" she thought.

"Yep, good ol' reliable, dog, geyser person; that's me," Willow said
with a smirk when she reached the bed and stood between her lover's
parted thighs.

"Not even close, Will. Not then, and certainly not now," Buffy
reassured her lover. She couldn't resist hugging the redhead and laid
her cheek against the bare midriff before her. She hummed in pleasure
as she thought, "You feel so good! God, just the feel and smell of your
skin and I could go again! What you do to me." The memory of that
night, the one after the 'old reliable' comment, came to her mind and
she whispered, "That was such a strange, terrible, wonderful day!"

Apparently unwilling to let things get heavy, Willow said, "Aww, Buffy.
You just like to remember me in that outfit."

"That's true," Buffy said, smiling against Willow's skin. Giving the
cute little bellybutton a quick kiss, she loosed her arms just a bit and
stood up. "You look amazing in leather, Will. We may have to find some
kind of corset like that one vamp-you had, except without all that red
ruffley stuff."

Willow's eyes widened and she squeaked, "Without it? Buffy, without
that red stuff, the top half of my boobs would have been all sticking
out for everyone to see! That leather barely went over my nipples!"

Buffy gave the witch a quick squeeze and peck on the lips and answered,
"And where's the down-side?" At Willow's bleat of outrage, she crooned,
"Ahh, come on Will, I thought you liked me showing you off." To
emphasize her point, Buffy grabbed Willow's leather-wrapped butt and
pulled the redhead's pelvis tightly against her own.

Willow's shock-widened eyes suddenly dilated, and her jaw dropped
slightly. She licked her lips and, in a low, rough voice, she said, "I.
well, if we were playing, I could do it. Mistress Buffy's pet can do
anything, if her Mistress commands it."

"Really?" Buffy asked, suddenly a little more serious. "And you're ok
with that?"

"Ok? I'm totally ok." Willow said. She ran her hands over Buffy's
flanks and explained, "It's like, when we play, I can do all of the
wild, crazy, and fun stuff that I could never bring myself to do
otherwise. If you say so, then I have permission to be anything, do
anything you want. It's, it's amazing! It's. I'm so happy Buffy!"

"She even sounds happy," Buffy thought joyfully. "You're cute when
you're giddy!" she told her girlfriend while giving her butt a couple
squeezes, which caused the witch to giggle. "I guess we should go back
downstairs. before they get back," she said, changing the subject to a
less happy one.

"What. how do we." Willow started to ask, obviously unsure how to put
it.

"Faith." Buffy said simply. At Willow's nod, she said, "I dunno Will. I
don't. part of me is really angry with her still. A part of me feels
sorry for her."

"Sorry for her?" Willow asked. She cupped Buffy's cheek and asked, "Why
sorry?"

Buffy rubbed against Willow's hand and thought, "Why? Why do I feel
guilty still?" Out loud she answered, "I know that I shouldn't. that
it's not my fault, but I still feel guilty. I feel like I failed her."

Willow sounded exasperated as she exclaimed, "Aww, no! You can't
really believe it's your fault, Buff! You did everything you could to
help her, and she spit in your face every time!" 

"That's no good." Buffy thought when she saw Willow starting to get
angry. She moved her hands to grab Willow's and bring them together in
front of her. "I don't. Really, I don't Will." She kissed the
redhead's clasped hands, and tried to keep her from getting really
angry.

Willow looked at her with a combined disbelief and resolve-face, but
didn't say any more. 

"Seriously, Will. I know it wasn't my fault. I don't know if I did
everything I could have, but I know that, even if I did, it might not
have been enough." She again kissed her lover's hands and hoped Willow
could see the honesty of her words. "It's just, even though my head
knows all that, my heart isn't so sure."

Buffy saw Willow's wavering indecision as to whether or not to peruse it
further. She changed the subject before Willow could make up her mind;
"A part of me is happy that she's back."

"Really?" Willow asked, surprised. "I, I. why?" She pulled her hands
away from Buffy's and moved back a step from the blonde.

"It's hard to explain, Will," Buffy said softly. She reached
tentatively towards the witch and thought, "Oh, please don't pull away
now!" 

Willow hugged her arms across her chest and took another step back.
"Yeah? Well try!" her voice snapped and she turned away from Buffy, not
quite facing away, but ending up sideways to the Slayer.

"Willow?" Buffy asked, shock and worry evident in her tone. Her
extended hand dropped, and her own arms stole about her body as she
unconsciously emulated the redhead's posture. She felt coldness seep
into her flesh. "Oh, Willow, please don't let Faith come between us. I
couldn't, I don't think I could survive it." she lamented silently.

Willow's arms dropped and she turned back to Buffy, her face fallen and
clearly expressing pain. Her lip was quivering and her eyes were shiny
with unshed tears. "Oh, Buffy. I'm sorry!" she said sadly. She moved
back to the bed and dropped to her knees before her lover. "I didn't
mean to. it's just, she. she makes me crazy!" She put her hands on the
backs of Buffy's knees and looked up at the blonde's bowed head. "She
tried to take you away from me. I know it's selfish and I was just
jealous, but I hated her for that," she tried to explain.

Buffy sat back down on the bed with a sigh and quietly said, "We both
tried to kill each other, Will. It wasn't just her." She trailed off
as the thought suddenly occurred to her, "Jeeze, am I trying to defend
her now?"

Before Buffy could continue, Willow interjected, "it wasn't just that,
Buffy. Even before the deputy mayor thing. you were spending all your
time with her, and you blew off our study dates, and you wouldn't let me
go on patrol with you. I just felt like I was loosing you to her, like
she was going to take you away from me." Willow reached up, pulled
Buffy's arms away from her chest and took hold of the Slayer's hands
between her own. She continued, "I was afraid you wouldn't want me as a
friend anymore, let alone us ever being more than that."

Buffy felt a cold chill in her stomach at her lover's words. She tried
to reassure the sensitive girl, "Will, whatever might have been between
Faith and me like that. it's gone for good," She looked intensely into
Willow's eyes and tried to make her see the truth of her words. "I feel
like there's a knife all twisting inside me just thinking of how I must
have hurt you back then, baby. I wish I could go back and make it all
better," she chuckled ruefully and added, "I'd seriously slap some sense
into me, younger-me, so I could see what I was doing to you."

Willow ducked her eyes and looked embarrassed. "It wasn't like I was
all with the telling you what I was feeling either Buffy. A lot of my
issues with Faith were my own. insecurity, I guess. I was afraid you'd
like her better than me. I hated that she slept with Xander, and I
don't even want to think about why that was. I was pretty messed up-
jealous, angry and selfish about the whole thing. Not much for sharing
my people, especially when I had crushes on them both."

"We can't go back and fix then, Will," Buffy said. "Much as it hurts to
remember, it's never gonna change."

"Unless Cordy goes and makes another wish!" Willow interjected with a
small smile.

Buffy laughed a little at the joke. "A valid point. But, barring any
scorned-women wishing that I'd never come to Sunnydale; all we can do is
fix stuff now and going forward." She squeezed Willow's hands
reassuringly and said, "And, going forward, I want Faith on our side.
Much as I'm still angry and hurt, I want her back."

Willow's eyebrows climbed high, and Buffy could see that she was
struggling to put a smile on her frowning face. When the red-haired
witch finally spoke, her voice was high and brittle. "I'm trying to, I
want to understand, Buffy, but I don't. Why is it so important? She
hasn't been on 'our side' for like two years and we've been just fine."

Buffy's eyes lost focus and she remembered the feelings, the senses
coming alive when she and Faith fought side by side. "When we would
fight together- I mean, not against each other, but together against the
bad guys," she broke off for a moment and remembered the sense of wonder
and joy she'd felt in those moments. "In those fights. it was like, we
took things to a higher level. we didn't use words to communicate; we
didn't need to, we just knew. It was like we were touching something,
something larger than us both. I dunno, maybe it was the Slayer spirit
or whatever, but it was amazing! Powerful and strong and, and happy
and. just so right." Focusing on Willow again, she tried to use a
metaphor that she'd understand. "It must be something like when you and
Tara do magic stuff together, like you are flowing together as you. I
don't know, when you do a spell I guess. I'm not sure it's the same,
cause I've never experienced it."

"It can be pretty amazing," Willow admitted.

"I want that again, Willow. It's not about sex or desire or anything
like that, at least not for me," she quickly clarified. "But it's wild
and primal and powerful. and I miss it. That's why I'm glad she's out.
it's why I so hope she's turned herself around, and is ready to be on
the side of us, of our side, I mean. I want Faith good again. I want
my Slayer-sister back next to us when we fight." She cupped her lover's
face in both of her hands and asked, "Does that make any sense?"

Willow nodded her head slightly. "I think I. yes, no, I mean, I don't
know if I understand all the feelings part, but yes I understand what
you want. I- I just have to get over myself. I know you aren't gonna
leave me and Tara for her or anything, so this jealousy thing I'm
feeling is just. oh, it's like the thing with your head!"

Buffy slowly nodded her head and frowned. She said, "Ok, now I'm really
lost."

Willow smiled and laughed a little. "You said you knew in your head
that the thing with Faith wasn't your fault, but."

"But, I still feel guilty," Buffy interjected and nodded her head more
confidently. She moved her hands away from Willow's face and once again
grasped the redhead's hands, giving them a little squeeze. 

Willow squeezed back and said, "Right. I know Faith's no threat to me,
to us. I just have to convince my feelings to buy it too." She stood
up and pulled Buffy up with her. "So, we should go face the beast and I
can start putting it all behind me."

Buffy knew the last was said with humor, but felt somewhat concerned and
asked, "Do you think you can? I mean can you put it behind you quick
enough? 'Cause we're gonna all be in that spell and it's gonna be
pretty intimate from what I remember about the last time."

Willow smiled enigmatically and said, "If she really is good, and she's
really sorry for. everything. Then I think it'll be ok."

"Good." Buffy said. She felt a slight sense of relief, and her thoughts
eased a little along with her emotions, "She sounds ok with things, not
like she's overjoyed or anything, but." 

Willow interrupted Buffy's ruminations when she added, "But. if she's
evil again, or if she hurts you. I reserve the right to kill her
horribly." 

Stunned, Buffy's mouth gaped, but no words came out.

Willow turned, dropped one of Buffy's hands and started to pull the
Slayer towards the door.

========== BtVS ==========

end part 23





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