Newbie with a fic "Into the Fray"

["mikemcd30467 <mikemcd67@xxxxxxxxxxx>" <mikemcd67@xxxxxxxxxxx>]

Title: Into the Fray
Authors: Mike and Tony McD
Rating: G
Category: angst/season 7 AU (kinda)
Pairings: Buffy/Willow, Xander/Dawn
Summary: Xander looks back at life post `Grave'.
Distribution: Go for it, just tell us where.
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy, the Vampire Slayer nor do I own any 
other characters. This is a work of fiction written for fun and 
enjoyment.
Authors' notes: This is the first of a collaborative effort between 
Tony and me due to Tony's illness. Feedback is appreciated as I 
haven't done this before. Tony is the ideas man, I try to put them 
together. Any failures here are mine.

******************
XANDER
Well, they're special. No doubt. And the amazing thing is, not one 
of them will ever know. Not even Buffy. 

DAWN
Know what? 

XANDER
How much harder it is for the rest of us.

DAWN
No way, they've got the --

XANDER
Seven years, Dawn. Working with the Slayer, watching my friends 
become more and more powerful... a witch, a demon, hell, I could fit 
Oz in my shaving kit but come the full moon he had wolfy mojo not to 
be messed with. Powerful, all of them. And I'm the guy fixing the 
windows.

DAWN
You had that sexy army training for a little while, and, and the 
windows really do need fixing.

XANDER
I saw what you did last night.

DAWN
I guess I sorta lost my head when I thought I was a Slayer. 

XANDER
Thought you were all special. Miss Sunnydale, 2003. And the minute 
you found out you weren't, you handed the crown over to Amanda 
without a moment's pause. You gave her your power. 

DAWN
Power wasn't mine. 

XANDER
They'll never know how tough it is, Dawnie. To be the one who isn't 
chosen; to live so near the spotlight and never step in it. But I 
know. I see more than anybody realizes, 'cause nobody's watching me. 
I saw you last night, I see you working here today... You're not 
special. You're extraordinary.

DAWN
Maybe that's your power. 

XANDER
What? 

DAWN
Seeing. Knowing. 

**************

Seeing, knowing, powerlessness. They say that knowledge is power but 
sometimes, even with all the knowledge in the world, you can still 
be powerless.

It started that day on the bluff, saving my Willow. I took the hits, 
knowing that if I followed my heart that love would protect me and 
save her. And it did. But at a terrible cost.

By stepping in front of Willow's magic, she not only cracked a 
couple of my ribs, but awakened a terrible power within me that made 
me even more powerless.

Seeing, knowing.

See all the paths to a fixed future and knowing I was powerless to 
change the final outcome.

That final outcome was simple. The final battle, the Hellmouth 
closed, Buffy and Willow dead.

I knew that no matter what I did, no matter what I said, the final 
outcome would be the same. This dark knowledge ate away at me. My 
heart of darkness. I kept my silence.

But there was one small upside to seeing and knowing. I could see my 
friends in a totally new light and know them. Really know them. Know 
them better than they know themselves.

I could see Dawn's pain, her sense of isolation, her sense of 
powerlessness. I knew that see needed someone to be there for her. 
To love and care for her, to tell her she mattered. So I did.

I could also see a point of friction between Buffy and Willow. That 
there was a way for them to find the true love they had for each 
other buried deep inside. I couldn't change their final fate, but I 
could bring them together so that in their last weeks and months 
they would know true love.

But to do that I had to destroy the one thing that I held closest to 
my heart.

Our friendship.

I would bring them together in their hatred of me and from there 
they would see each other in a new light. That light would lead to 
love.

So I engineered an argument with Buffy and Willow, one guaranteed to 
expose `The Lie'. To this day I make no apology for not telling 
Buffy about Willow trying to re-soul Angelus. If I hadn't then Buffy 
and the rest of the world would have died. I knew I did the right 
thing, but I also knew they wouldn't agree.

And they didn't.

It was terrible. Afterwards I sat in my apartment and cried. I had 
destroyed my friendship with them for love. My love for them. Their 
love for each other.

I could only watch from a distance as they drew closer together. 
Their looks of love for each other. Their tender moments together in 
the maelstrom of the last days. For the first time, they were truly 
happy. I prayed that, when it was all said and done, they would 
understand. And one day forgive me.

They died together as I had seen foreseen. The final apocalyptic 
battle. The Hellmouth closed and with it my power of seeing and 
knowing. Of all who fought that final battle, only Dawn and I 
survived.

Looking back it was only natural that, having been through so much 
together, sharing the grief of the loss of the same loved ones, we 
would eventually be drawn together.

Over the years came first children, then grandchildren. Now, almost 
twenty years after my beloved Dawn passed away, I hold the tiny 
hands of my great grandchildren as they ask me why I am crying.

It's been 70 years since the final battle closed that chapter of my 
life. But with a visit from Buffy opened a new chapter. Buffy came 
to see me in my dreams. Came to tell me things so that I could see, 
so that I could know.

There will be a time in the distant future when once again the need 
for a Slayer to be called will come. That Slayer will come from 
within the bloodlines of my children and their descendants.

Once again I am powerless to do anything. The Watchers Council was 
shattered and I am the last Scooby. My remaining time is short.

All I can do is tell my great grandchildren the story. The story of 
Buffy and the Scooby Gang, and how together, we stepped into the 
fray.