FIC: Repost of Coming Home Parts 1-5

["jend1205 <jend1205@xxxxxxxxx>" <jend1205@xxxxxxxxx>]

Author: Jen D
Disclaimer: I don't own anything. I just like it.
Rating: R-just to be safe.
Spoilers:Up to season four then AU after.



Buffy sat on the grave marker and contemplated her life. She was 
going to turn twenty-five in a few days. She was now officially the 
oldest living slayer. She no longer patrolled on a nightly basis, 
usually leaving that up to Faith. She did help on occasion and that 
is how she found herself sitting in the cemetery tonight. She would 
rather be at home alone tonight, lost in her own world, wondering 
what her best friend was doing after all these years away. She 
thought back to the night she came back to her dorm room and found 
that all of Willow's stuff had been cleared out and a note sitting on 
her bed. Buffy pulled out the worn out piece of paper.
Buffy,
By the time you get this I will be gone. I don't expect you 
to understand. I have to   
go please forgive me for running away. Maybe someday I can 
come home to the 
only family that I have ever known. My parents will not know 
were I went and 
I don't want you to look for me. I don't think you will be 
able to find me anyway.
I have made sure to cover my track fairly well. Please find 
Tara and tell her that 
I am sorry and I wish that I could have stuck around and found 
out what was between
us. Yes Buffy I think that I am gay. That's not way I am 
running away. Please know
that I love you all. Xander is going to need you now more 
then ever. Tell him I love
him and take care of him. 
 
 
With all my love,
 
 
Willow

Buffy carefully folded up the letter and slipped it back into her 
pocket. That had been six years ago and she had not heard anything 
from her best friend since then, not even for her parent's funeral. 
They had tried to find her but it was useless. Willow had covered her 
tracks; it was like Willow didn't exist anymore. Life had moved on 
for the gang. Faith had come back three years ago and had worked hard 
to regain their trust after everything she had done to them in their 
senior year. Xander and Anya got married and settled down, buying a 
house not to far from where she lived now. Buffy did seek out Tara 
and found a wonderful new friend in the process. They now shared a 
house not to far from the new high school where they both taught. 
Tara was an English teacher and Buffy was the gym teacher. Giles had 
moved in with her mom shortly after she had graduated from college. 
They talked about getting married but just never seemed to want to 
complicate a good thing. Buffy sighed, got up and headed for home.


Willow pulled her car into the familiar driveway and shut the 
engine off. She looked at the sleeping figure in the front seat and 
the two in the backseat. She tapped the girl who was asleep beside 
her, "Hey hon, we're here and I'm going to go in for a minute. I'll 
stay on the front porch so that I can see you but I have to do this."
"Ok", the teenage girl mumbled. Willow smiled at her and patted her 
on the arm and got out. She stopped on the front porch and looked 
around, not much had changed in the six years she had been gone. She 
only hoped that the occupants hadn't changed. She knocked on the door 
and was relieved to see the familiar woman open it.
"Mrs. Summers", she sighed in relieve.
"Willow, my god where have you been. Buffy has been trying to find 
you for years. Xander damn near worried himself to death. You didn't 
get turned did you?"
"No watch", Willow said and stepped into the house and then stepped 
back out, "I wouldn't have been able to do that if I was a vamp. I 
have a pulse to. Do you want to check"? Joyce laughed, "Only in 
Sunnydale would my daughters best friend ask for me to check her 
pulse. Please come in, Willow. Giles will be thrilled to see you."
"I wish that I could but I have people asleep in the car and I don't 
want to leave them out here alone. Does Buffy still live here."
"No, I'm sorry she has here own place now", Joyce said.
"Oh ok, when you see her will you tell her that I will be at my old 
house. I'm going to be living there now that my parents are gone, I 
figure it ought to be of some use."
"Willow I was sorry to hear about your parents death", Joyce said 
softly and put her hand on Willow shoulder.
"Thank you. It was hard but then again they were never there for me 
anyway. Well I'd better get going. It was nice to see you again."
"Glad your back Willow. Come by soon so that we can catch up", Joyce 
said and watch the red head get into the car and pull away. Joyce 
closed the door and headed straight for the phone. She dialed the 
number and waited for the other person to pick up the phone.
"Tara, is Buffy back from patrol yet. She is?good, will you two
come 
over here. I have something you might both be interested in. Ok see 
you in a minute. Bye." Joyce sat down and waited for the girls to 
show up. Fifteen minutes later both girls came barreling through the 
door. Buffy skidded to a halt when she saw her mom sitting peacefully 
on the couch.
"Ok what is it and do I have to kill it", Buffy asked. Joyce seeing 
that her daughter was in slayer mode raised her hands, "Nothing to 
kill, honest. I had a visitor just a little bit ago that I thought 
you might both be curious about."
"Um, ok, I'll bite, who was it", Buffy asked.
"Willow", Joyce said and watched as her daughters and the girl that 
she had come to think of as a daughter mouths dropped open.
"Mom, there for a second I thought you said Willow was here."
"She is. She came by here looking for you. She said to tell you that 
she was staying at her parent's old house. Tara and Joyce watched as 
Buffy began to pace back and forth.
"Buffy, you're going to wear a whole in your mom carpet if you keep 
this up", Tara said.
"How can you be so calm Tara? I mean she shows up six later and your 
not upset?"
"A little but then again I didn't know her as well as you did. Yes it 
hurt to lose her, I think I could have loved her if given the chance 
but she didn't strike me as the type to just leave for no good 
reason." Buffy looked at Tara and could see the hurt in her eyes and 
knew that the same hurt was in her own. Tara and Buffy had spent more 
then one night sharing there feelings for the red head and it had 
been Tara that had made Buffy realize that she had been in love with 
her best friend. Buffy always regretted not being able to tell her 
before she had ran away.
"I know, come on Tara we have a certain red head to go interrogate", 
Buffy said and grabbed her hand.


   
Buffy and Tara found themselves standing at the front door to 
Willow's house. Neither made a move to ring the doorbell.
"Um Buffy I think we might have to ring the bell to get anyone to 
answer."
"I know, I'm just nervous. Ok here it goes", Buffy touched the 
doorbell and they both waited for Willow to answer. Buffy could 
hardly believe that it was her best friend who answered the door. 
Willow seemed so much older and gone were the fuzzy sweater, in their 
place were jeans and a white t-shirt. Her hair was short and curly. 
To Buffy and Tara she looked perfect. Willow leaned in the doorway 
and looked at the two women in front of her, she was not expecting to 
see Tara, and honestly she was surprised to see Buffy here so soon.
"Hey guys, I'm glad you could stop by. Come in", Willow told them. 
Willow led them into the living room and was about to say something 
when she heard a voice behind her, "Damnit mom, those basement steps 
are a pain", the blonde said. 
"Yeah mom, damnit", the smaller child said. Willow turned around and 
glared at the kids, "Beth Anne Rosenberg, I cannot believe that came 
out of your mouth. I think you ought to go to your room and think 
about things." Willow watched the little girl slink away and turned 
to the older girl who was trying to slip away, "Freeze, Angela Marie 
Frazier" Angie raised her hand knowing her mom was about to let lose 
on her, "I know, sorry mom. I think I have homework to do." Angie 
came over and kissed Willow on the cheek and bounded up the steps. 
Willow turned to see the shocked faces of her old friends and was 
getting ready to say something again when another girl came in from 
the kitchen, "Hey ma, oh we have company. Hi I'm Jen." Buffy and Tara 
looked at the girl and waved to stunned to say anything.
"Jen, why don't you go bug your sister's. I need to talk to Buffy and 
Tara." Jen waved and headed up the stairs.
"MOM", Buffy and Tara yelled at the same time.


"MOM", Buffy and Tara yelled at the same time. Willow looked at 
them, "Come on lets go to the kitchen and I'll get some coffee going 
and I will explain things." Buffy and Tara followed her into the 
kitchen and watched as Willow made coffee. She stopped at the fridge 
and pulled out a beer, looked at them, "Want one." Both girls shook 
their heads and Willow shrugged her shoulders, "Ok well lets go out 
on the deck so we can talk and I can smoke."
"You smoke", Tara asked surprised.
"Yeah, Cheryl used to tell me about how it used to help her relax and 
after the last six months I would do anything to relax." 
"Will, who are those kids. You have only been gone for six years and 
the oldest one looks to be about 14", Buffy said.
"They are my daughters. Angie is almost 16, Jen is 9, and Beth is 5." 
Willow watched and she could almost see the wheels turning as Buffy 
and Tara began to calculate Beth's age. Buffy was the first to 
speak, "So you were pregnant when you left." Willow lowered her 
head, "Yes".
"Oz", Tara asked. Willow nodded her head.
"Does he know", Buffy said.
"Yeah, I ran into him a couple of years ago in Seattle. One of the 
reason's we had planned on coming back was so we would be closer to 
him."
"Well that explains Beth but what about the other two", Buffy asked. 
Willow sighed and pulled out another cigarette, "I think I ought to 
start from the beginning. I found out I was pregnant about two weeks 
before I left. My parents told me that they were leaving and wouldn't 
be back for a year, so I decided that I should tell them about the 
baby. Well to say they freaked is an understatement. They told me 
that if I had this baby they wanted nothing to do with me ever again. 
I guess in a sad way they did, they died a month before she was born. 
Anyway I guess I just kind of lost it."
"Why didn't you tell us? We would have supported you", Buffy asked 
her best friend.
"I wasn't thinking right, Buffy. My parents had just rejected me and 
I guess I was afraid you would too, so I ran. I know, not one of my 
brighter moments but I had just met Tara and had all these strange 
feelings for her. I was afraid, I knew she would want to help and I 
couldn't ask someone to start a relationship based on that. Buffy you 
were dealing with your own stuff and your relationship with Riley. I 
knew you needed that, after everything you went through with Angel. 
So I left and went to Seattle. I got a really good job working for a 
computer company there. I met Cheryl then, she was my boss's 
assistant. I didn't know anyone there and she kind of adopted me. I 
started spending a lot of time with her, we were both alone. Her 
husband had died the year before and I think we both just needed a 
friend. It was about a year before we both figured out we had 
feelings for each other and another six months for us to admit it to 
each other. She was an amazing woman. Cheryl was ten years older then 
I was. Angie and Jen are her kids", Willow paused and got up and 
walked to the side of the deck. She discarded her cigarette and 
looked up at the sky. 
"Was", Tara asked. Seemingly lost in her own world Willow 
continued, "We decided six months ago that we were going to come home 
or my home. Oz is a pretty successful studio musician in LA, so when 
the chance for her to transfer to LA we jumped at it. I worked from 
home anyway so I could do it there just as easy. We were so excited. 
There were so many things I wanted to share with her. I wanted her to 
meet the gang. We spent so many nights sitting in front of the 
fireplace talking about you guys. I told her about everything, she 
was stunned and then she kissed me and told me how proud she was of 
how I saved the world", Willow let out a chuckle lost in the 
memory, "I really thought she would call for the rubber room but she 
just took it in stride. I told her about being a witch and she called 
me Samantha for a week. She wanted to know if I could wiggle my nose. 
Then one night she was late getting home. I really didn't worry too 
much because she worked late a lot. I guess I should have."
"What happened Will", Buffy asked coming to stand next to her best 
friend.
"I got caught up working on this program and the kids were being so 
good that night which was a rare thing. I should have known something 
was up. The next thing I know there was a police officer standing on 
my front porch. It was no one fault just a stupid accident. I don't 
know how I made it through the night. Cheryl didn't have any family 
and we only had a few friends, so we were on our own. I'm not sure if 
I would have made it if it hadn't been for the kids. She was 
incredible; she always knew what to say. Cheryl made the world right. 
She always knew where I left my keys and would call everyday just to 
make sure that I had eaten lunch cause I would get involved in 
something and would forget. She always told me I was like having 
another kid. Sometimes I feel so lost, especially at night when I 
wake up and she not there. We all are lost, that's why I moved them 
here, and I hope that a new start will help. We haven't been living. 
We wake up eat breakfast go to school and work, come home and start 
all over the next day. It's been so hard for everyone. I? ",
Willow 
trailed off and wiped a tear from her eye.
"She died", Tara whispered. Buffy put her arm around Willow but she 
pulled away, "I'm going to go say goodnight to the kids and grab 
another beer. Help yourself to more coffee." Willow left the slayer 
and the witch to take in everything she had told them. Tara wiped her 
eyes and looked at Buffy, "She's hurting."
"Yes she is", Angela said from the backdoor, "They were the world to 
each other. Mommy was always so happy when they were together. We 
always did things as a family. I don't know what to do for her, she 
is always there for us but she doesn't have anyone herself. I hear 
her sometimes at night, she never sleeps anymore. I found her one 
night sitting in front of the TV watching a video from our last 
Christmas. We had a long talk before we came back here, she told me 
about how she left and how she never called. She is terrified that 
you won't want her to be part of your lives. I know she regrets what 
she did but she always told me hindsight was 20/20. I guess what I am 
saying is that she always told me that you guys where the only family 
she had, are you going to let her back in because if your not it will 
devastate her and I need to know so I can be there for her."
"Angie, Willow is my best friend and I can't speak for Tara but I 
will always be there for your mom. I would have been there all along 
if she had let me. She was always there for me, she has saved my life 
more times then I could count", Buffy said and looked at Tara.
"I haven't known Willow as long as Buffy but she was good to me at a 
time when I needed her and I will be here for her all the way", Tara 
said and smiled at the look of relief that the teen had on her face.
"Good, I was hoping that was your response. I'm going to bed now. 
Thank you both. She needs you. She's been so busy taking care of us 
that she hasn't taken the time to grieve herself and I'm afraid that 
when she does it will be very difficult. She won't need her 
daughters, she'll need her family." Angie hugged them both and 
disappeared into the house.
"Tara did you mean it about being here", Buffy asked her friend?
"Of course, somehow I think if it was the other way around she would 
be here for us."
Willow came out the door and leaned over the railing, "I know that I 
can't show up and slip back into being the same Willow you knew. I'm 
not her anymore. I know things change and I don't expect them to go 
back to the way they were but I was wondering if there's any chance 
that you would take the time to get to know me again. Can you forgive 
me?" Buffy and Tara got up and went to stand on either side of her, 
each taking a hand. Buffy gave it a squeeze, "Already forgiven." 
Willow looked at Tara, "Always." Willow looked out into the night and 
thanked god for her two best friends.


Willow was putting the last of the breakfast dishes in the 
dishwasher when the doorbell rang.
"I'll get it", Jen yelled flying down the steps. Jen opened the door 
and found Buffy and Tara standing on the front porch.
"Hey munchkin, is your mom home", Buffy asked.
"Yup in the kitchen", Jen said and stepped to the side to let them in.
"Jennifer, who is at the door", Willow yelled from the kitchen. Buffy 
and Tara followed Jen into the kitchen. They saw Willow sitting at 
the table reading the paper and she looked up and smiled, "Good 
morning ladies, what do I owe this early morning visit to."
"We thought we would stop by and see if you needed any help with the 
kids and to see if Angie wanted a ride to school but you seem to have 
everything under control ", Tara told her.
"Cool, you think this is under control you should have been here an 
hour ago. Total chaos", Willow laughed, "The movers won't be here 
until 9 and we had some problems finding things but disaster avoided. 
Hang on a second. Jen go find Beth, the bus will be here in a minute 
and tell Angie to come down too." Willow smiled when Beth came 
bounding down the stairs followed by Angie and Jen, "Ok Jen and Beth 
lunches are in your book bags. The bus is here, have a good day. I 
love you." Willow hugged the girls and watched from the porch as they 
got on the bus. She gave one last wave and shut the door, "Two down 
and one to go. Angie, Buffy and Tara want to know if you want a ride 
to school."
"I'll go with anybody, including a teacher if I don't have to ride 
the bus."
"Hey what's wrong with teachers", Buffy and Tara said at the same 
time.
"Boy you two got old", Willow chuckled and shook her head, "When you 
were fifteen would you want to be seen with a teacher. Hell it was 
bad enough to be best friends with the Liberian."
"God you were such a dork, mom", Angie said.
"Hey would you like to have dish duty for a week", Willow said and in 
her most stern voice, causing Buffy and Tara stare at her in 
amazement.
Noticing their shocked expression she said, "What". They both just 
shrugged their shoulders and looked at each other, both red with the 
thoughts that they knew the other was having about a stern Willow and 
the fantasy that it brought.
"Um, I-I, nothing", Buffy finally managed to sputter.
"Oookay", Angie laughed, "And which one of you is the English 
teacher"?
"That would be me", Tara smiled.
"Well that's good."
"Hey", Buffy yelled. Willow couldn't help but laugh.
"Hey again."
"She got you there, Buff", Willow said between giggles.
"Mom says you guys are having lunch today, Will", Buffy said.
"Yeah I called her last night. I thought it would be nice to catch up 
with her."
"That's cool but duty calls, come on kid. We'd hate for you to be 
late on your first day", Buffy told her.
"Would you mind dropping me at the corner so no one see us. You know 
I have a reputation to get", Angie teased.
"Ha ha very funny", Buffy said and dragged the teen out the door.
"Hey Willow, it's nice to have you home again. I haven't seen Buffy 
this happy since you left", Tara said.
"It's good to be back. I never meant to be gone so long. Time just 
seemed to fly by."
Tara pulled Willow into a hug and whispered in her ear, "I missed you 
too." Tara kissed her on the cheek and walked out the door.



Joyce walked into the restaurant and saw Willow sitting at the 
table working on her laptop. She approached the table and sat 
down, "Hello".
"Mrs. Summers, I'm glad you could join me today. We can move to non-
smoking. I just wanted to check my e-mail and get my work for next 
week."
"No this is fine. I don't mind smoking; I used to back in my youth. I 
am surprised to see you smoking though and please call me Joyce."
"I know I thought Buffy was going to fall over when I told her. I 
guess I just needed something to calm down."
"Willow, Buffy told me everything that's happened. I'm sorry. I 
still think you should have had more faith in us all back then. Hell 
you could have lived with me, I always thought of you as a daughter. 
I don't understand your parent's reaction. I don't think I could have 
ever turned my back on Buffy much less my grandchild."
"I know, now that I am a mom myself, I couldn't not be there. I mean 
Ang is almost sixteen and we talk all the time. I remember there 
being a whole year that I didn't even talk to my folks", Willow said 
and pulled pictures out of her briefcase, "This is Angie, she's 
fifteen. This is Jen she is ten. This is Beth, she's five and this is 
Cheryl. I took this when we went to the zoo last year."
"You have a very nice looking family. It's so hard to believe that 
you have three kids. I had one and I don't know how you manage."
"It's not easy and it's been even harder since Cheryl's been gone. It 
helps that I can work from home, so I'm always there for them. I 
can't imagine what it would be like if I had to work outside the 
house."
"Willow, I want you to know that I'm proud of what you have done with 
your life, raising someone else's children and your own at 25. I also 
want you to know that if there is anything that Giles or I can do 
just let us know. You were always there for Buffy."
"Thank you Joyce, I might need it. I have one question were Buffy and 
I this much of a pain as teenagers. God, Angie is so moody and 
temperamental, sometimes I feel like I'm beating my head on the 
wall." Joyce laughed, "Yup, I always told Buffy I hoped she had one 
just like her, well except for the slaying thing." Now it was Willow 
turn to laugh, "Joyce, are you ok with the whole me being gay thing. 
I know that I never told you that your opinion of me meant more to me 
then my own parents. I don't think I could handle disappointing you. 
I think that was one of the things that scared me the most when I 
found out I was pregnant was your reaction. So when my folks who 
didn't give a damn about me went ballistic, it scared me and I ran."
"Willow your parents were nuts, you could never disappoint me. As far 
as the baby, I would have been there. I can't even imagine how hard 
it must have been to be alone and pregnant in a strange place. I am 
very glad that you were able to find someone who helped you and took 
care of you when we couldn't. I don't care if she was a she or a he. 
I know that Tara is gay and I know that Buffy doesn't care what sex 
she dates as long as she likes them."
"HUH", Willow squeaked, "Buffy is bi?"
"She didn't tell you", Joyce asked.
"Um, well, um, we haven't really talked a lot. The first night was me 
talking about where I'd been. I would never of guessed."
"I guess being friends with Tara for all these years just made her 
realize life is to short to limit herself to one gender."
"Did her and Tara ever date?"
"I don't think so. They have been close but they never said anything 
about it. I know they both have dated other people."
"Oh"
"Would it bother you?"
"I don't honestly know the answer to that", Willow thought for a 
second, "I don't think so. They both deserve to be happy. They seem 
to get along really well. From what I've seen I think that they would 
be good for each other." 
"What about you Willow, how are you dealing with Cheryl?"
"I'm not. I haven't had time. The kids are my first priority. I need 
to make sure that they are ok first, and then I'll deal with it. I'm 
just not sure how. Joyce she was my life. I got out of bed everyday 
because of her. Sometimes I think about her and it hurts to breath. 
If it wasn't for the kids I think I would have just curled up into a 
ball and died. I had to get a smaller bed because the one we had was 
just to big for me." Joyce reached across the table and took Willow 
hand. It took all of her strength not to breakdown.
"Willow honey, we are here and you don't have to do this by yourself 
now. Let us help you. I have three grandkids that I haven't even met. 
I expect you to be there for Sunday dinners and Christmas Eve's and 
birthdays. We are your family and we have missed so much already. We 
love you."
"Thank you", Willow said and wiped the tears form her eyes.


Willow opened the door and sighed. There were boxes everywhere. 
After talking to Joyce most of the afternoon, she knew she didn't 
have much time until the kids got home. She made some coffee and went 
to her room to change. After deciding on a pair of old comfy jeans 
and a black tank top, she went back down stairs turned on the radio 
on full blast to cut through the silence and started to go through 
the boxes in the kitchen. The sounds of music filled the house and 
the bass shook the windows. She was so caught up in the music and 
trying to put the extra glasses on the top shelf, which she was to 
short for, she didn't even hear the door open or the three pair of 
eyes watching her. Buffy and Tara both studied the red head. 
"MOM", Angie yelled above the music, startling Willow. She dropped 
the glass she had been putting up. Willow tried to catch it but it 
hit the counter breaking, cutting her hand in the process.
"Shit", Willow said and grabbed a dishtowel.
"Will, let me see", Buffy asked as she took her hand. Tara went to 
turn the radio down.
"It's ok", Willow told her.
"Well let me see it. Do you have a first aid kit", Buffy asked?
"Yeah, Angie in the medicine cabinet in the bathroom."
"I got it, sorry mom."
"It's ok, I guess I lost track of time", Willow told her daughter.
"Will this looks pretty nasty. I think it's going to need stitches", 
Buffy said looking at the deep cut.
"I agree with Buffy. Why don't I stay here and watch the kids and 
Buffy can take you to the ER", Tara said looking at the cut.
"Naw it will be ok we can clean it up and put a band aid on it."
"Willow, don't argue with me. I'll carry you kicking and screaming if 
I have to."
"Ok, ok, we wouldn't want to piss off the retired slayer now would 
we", Willow said and smiled.
"Exactly now lets go."
"Let me go grab my purse."
"Take care of her Buffy", Angie said with worry in her eyes.
"I will, don't worry some stitches and she will be good as new." 
Willow came back into the kitchen, "Angie, tell Jen and Beth to start 
unpacking the boxes in their room. You can do your room too."
"I'll help them Willow, just get that taken care of", Tara told her


Willow sat on the exam bed and waited for the doctor to come back 
to put the stitches in her hand, "Buffy, when did you decide you were 
bi-sexual?"
"Huh, who?oh mom. Well I guess it was not to long after you left. 
Tara and I spent a lot of time together after you went away, she made 
me look at things that I had been to afraid to face."
"You care about Tara a lot don't you", Willow asked.
"I love her. I'm not sure what would have happened after you left if 
it hadn't been for her. I'm not saying she took your place because no 
one could ever do that but we both needed a friend. I guess Tara was 
my Cheryl."
"Did you ever date each other", Willow asked?
"No"
"Why"
"I don't know really. We talked about it once but we just always felt 
we would be cheating on you."
"Why" 
Buffy laughed, "You have been hanging around the kids to long. I had 
this first grader once who always asked me why", Buffy face took on a 
serious expression, "Will, I'm not sure this is the best place to 
have this conversation."
"Buffy I have three kids, do you realize this is the quietest place I 
have right now."
"I know but what I have to say might make you run screaming from this 
room and I don't think the doctor would like that much."
"Buffy", Willow said and her best mom look.
"Ok just don't give me that look. It makes me feel like I'm three 
years old again. One of the other things Tara made me realize was 
that I loved you."
"Buffy I love you too, why would I run from the room. You were my 
best friend for five years."
"No Will, I realized I was in love with you", Buffy said and looked 
at the floor.
"Oh, Oooh, well um wow. I'm not sure what to say."
"Will I don't expect you to say anything? I just wanted you to know."
"Buffy I'm glad that you felt like you could tell me. I'm flattered, 
another time, another place and who knows but I don't think that I 
have a place in my life right now for that kind of love. I do love 
you and I do mean more then a friend I always have I think. I know 
that I was in love with Tara too. I know that I'm not ready to move 
on yet Buffy and I'm not sure when or if I ever will be. It's not 
fair to you to wait around for something that might never happen."
"She's gone, Will", Buffy whispered.
"I know but I just can't but that shouldn't stop you from moving on. 
Buffy, I think you should ask Tara out. She is an amazing woman and I 
think you could make each other happy. I told your mother that today."
"I don't know. Maybe, I'll think about it."
"Good but Buffy don't wait to long. One thing that I have learned is 
life can be taken away before you know it", Willow said just as the 
doctor came in.


Willow and Buffy came into the kitchen laughing. Jen came running 
down the steps and jumped into her mother's arms. 
"Hey what's up", Willow asked after getting a big hug.
"Tara said you got hurt and I was scared. She said it wasn't anything 
to bad but still."
"I'm ok, see just a few stitches. So how was school today?"
"I really liked it. My teacher is really nice too. We talked and she 
said that she had you in her class when you were little."
"I know I remember her, she was a good teacher. You should do well. 
Where is everyone", Willow asked seeing the empty downstairs.
"Well Angie is in her room putting stuff away and Tara is in our room 
helping us."
"Nope Tara is down here. Buffy, Angie needs some help moving the 
dresser in her room. We tried but I think we might need someone with 
a little more strength then us", Tara said.
"Oh now she needs the teachers help. Come on Jen, you can help me 
tease your sister", Buffy said and took the blonde child upstairs.
"How you doing hon", Tara asked.
"I'll be fine. Thank you for helping."
"I got dinner in the oven too."
"I know it smells great. Thank you"
"Well I figured it would be hard to for you to cook tonight", Tara 
said.
"Yeah I was just going to get pizza but this smells much better and 
healthier", Willow laughed.
"Yup, so does it hurt much", Tara asked pointing to her hand.
"A little but the doc gave me something for the pain."
"Ok then why don't you take it and I will tuck you into bed. Dinner 
is going to be a little while longer. Buffy and I will help the kids 
with homework or unpacking. We will wake you up when dinner is done."
"Tara, I can't ask you to do that", Willow said.
"No arguments, now lets go. You can say hi to the kids on the way to 
bed. They are great kids. I have Angie in my class, she seems very 
bright and outgoing."
"She is and they are. Cheryl did a good job with them."
"I think they got a lot from you too, Will." 


  
Willow flopped down on the bed after having the kids drag her into 
their rooms to see all the things that they had done since was gone. 
Tara went into the bathroom and returned with a glass if water. 
Willow took the pill and pulled the covers over her, "Tara, Buffy and 
I talked at the hospital. I want you to know how much it means to me 
that you took care of her after I left."
"We took care of each other. She is an incredible woman and to be 
able to be a part of her life has meant the world to me."
"Do you love her?"
"Yeah", Tara whispered, "But I have loved you since the first time I 
saw you."
"I love you too and her but I'm not ready and I might never be. Love 
her Tara. Make a life for you both. You deserve to be happy", Willow 
said and fell asleep. Tara pulled the blanket over her and kissed her 
forehead, turned out the light. She took one last look at the 
sleeping red head and shut the door.


Buffy was sitting at the kitchen table when Tara came in. Buffy 
studied the blonde thinking about what Willow had said. Tara sat down.
"Tara"
"Buffy", Tara said at the same time, "You first."
"She sleeping?"
"Yeah it took about five minutes. I think she isn't sleeping very 
well."
"Yeah I can see that. We had a good talk when we were waiting on the 
doctor. I told her that I loved her. She told me she loves me and you 
both but that she wasn't ready for that."
"I told her too and she said the same thing. I think we need to talk 
Buffy. She said some things that have made me think."
"I know me too. Tara she's back, we have our Willow back and she's ok 
or will be sometime. We can help her. She told me it was ok for us to 
be together."
"I know she said to love you and to make a life for us. Buffy I love 
you and I think she might be right at least for now."
"Well were do we go from here", Buffy asked pulling Tara into a hug.
"We take it slow go out get to know each other as more then friends 
and take care of her."
"I think I can handle that, now I think we have some kids to feed and 
other good aunt things to do."
"We're aunts I like the sound of that", Tara and placed a light kiss 
on Buffy lips.
"And I think I like that", Buffy laughed.     


Willow rolled over and looked at the clock. She groaned when she 
saw that the glowing numbers said it was 7:30 . She jumped out of bed 
and ran to the kids rooms. Finding them empty she made her way 
downstairs coming to a halt in the kitchen where she found the kids 
with Buffy and Tara.
"Good morning sleepy head", Tara told her motioning her to sit down. 
Tara brought her a plate over and sat in down in front of her.
"I can't believe I slept for twelve hours. Why didn't someone wake me 
up?"
"I was going to but you looked so cute sleeping. I just didn't have 
the heart to wake you up", Buffy said.
"The kids got their rooms done last night. We got homework done and 
everyone is ready for school. Speaking of school I think I hear the 
bus, guys. Kiss your mom and get going", Tara told the younger kids.
"Beth don't forget that your dad is picking you up for the weekend", 
Willow said.
"Whoo hoo", Beth yelled and kissed her mom and ran out the door.
"Oz is coming", Buffy asked.
"Yeah, he wants to start being a bigger part of her life now that we 
are closer. He feels guilty for missing so much of her life, even 
though it wasn't all his fault."
"That's nice to know that you two can be friends and be there for 
her", Buffy said wishing that her own father had been a bigger part 
of her life.
"Yes it is. She loves him and he is really good with her." Tara 
looked at Angie, "Hey you ought to go get your bag. We should be 
ready to leave in a minute." Tara waited until she was out of earshot 
and tuned to look at Willow, "What about the wolf. Does Beth change?"
"No from what I found out she had a fifty fifty chance of inheriting 
the werewolf. I think she missed it."
"Thank god", Buffy whispered.
"Yeah I know. I was terrified that she would have it."
"So Will have any plans for today", Buffy asked?
"Nope what's up?"
"Well Tara and I wanted to talk to you. We both have lunch at 11:30 
and wanted to know if you would join us."
"Sounds good. I have some more unpacking to do, even though the 
kitchen seems done", Willow said looking at her best friends. Tara 
blushed, "Well Angie helped me put things away. I hope you don't 
mind. I hope I put things where you want them."
"No of course I don't mind. It's just one less thing I have to mess 
with. Now don't you have kids to mold and shape into the future 
leaders of the world."
"Yup, We'll see you later, Will."


Willow walked up the steps to the new high school. She 
stopped and read the names on the plaque by the front door that had 
all the names of the kids that had died in the `gas explosion' on 
graduation day. She shook her head and sighed as she read the names, 
they all had been so young. After signing in at the office she walked 
the hallways and remembered her own days in the old school. She 
stopped outside of one room after hearing a familiar voice float 
through the hallway. She peered through the door and saw Tara 
standing in front of a group if kids. Tara saw her watching and 
Willow gave her a small wave. Tara opened the door and stepped 
out, "Hey glad to see you made it. Buffy will be in the gym."
"Cool, I'll see you in a minute", Willow said and turned to walk away.
"Um, Will, the gym is the other way", Tara laughed and pointed Willow 
in the right direction.
"I knew that", Willow waved goodbye and made her way to the gym. She 
went through the doors and saw Buffy refereeing a volleyball match in 
the middle of the room. She waved and sat down on the bleacher to 
watch. Buffy dismissed her class and sat down next to her best 
friend, "Hey I see you made it. Tara's going to grab us some lunch 
and meet us in my office."
"Wow your own office huh."
"Yup, I love being the teacher. It's so much better then being a 
student", Buffy laughed and led Willow into her office and gestured 
for her to sit down.
"So what's up", Willow asked.
"I thought we would wait for Tara to get here first, seeing how this 
has to do with her too."
"Tara's here and she has brought food too", Tara said stepping into 
the office and shut the door.
"Ok your both here, spill." Tara pulled a chair over to the desk 
and sat down next to Buffy, "Willow, you know that we love you, both 
of us."
"I know and as much as I love you both, I just don't think I can move 
on."
"It's ok, Will. I can't even begin to imagine what you are going 
through and I honestly hope I never do", Buffy said, "Tara and I did 
some talking last night, we have decided that we are going to take 
your advice and start seeing each other." Willow jumped out of her 
seat and pulled them both into a hug, "I'm so happy for you. It's 
about time."
Buffy looked her best friend in the eyes, "Are you really ok with 
this." Willow rested her head on Buffy forehead, "More then I could 
say. Take care of her." Willow sat down and looked at both of 
them, "Take care of each other. Tell each other how much you love 
them whenever they walk out the door. Never, ever take the other for 
granted. Thank god ever night when you go to bed for giving you 
another day together. Love and live each day to the fullest." Tara 
had to wipe the tears out of her eyes, "We will and we will always be 
here for you." Buffy took Tara's hand and Willow smiled, "So 
girlfriends now huh."
"Yup and you're the first to know. We're going on our first official 
date tonight."
"I'm so glad that the two of you finally got it right." Buffy 
laughed, "Ok well I have a class that will be here in a minute."
"Me too", Tara said.
"I'll see you both this afternoon."



Beth came flying through the door, "Is he here yet."
"He just called he should be here in just a few minutes", Willow told 
her excited daughter.
"She really does love her father", Buffy said coming in behind her 
and watching her run up the steps.
"Yeah she does", Willow said.
"I still have problems seeing Oz as a weekend father or you a mother 
for that matter."
"Well we are", Oz said coming in the door.
"Oz it's good to see you man", Buffy said.
"Buffy how are you."
"Can't complain and you"
"Pretty good and who is this beautiful woman", Oz asked.
"Oz this my girlfriend Tara. Tara this is Oz."
"It's nice to finally meet you Oz. I've heard a lot about you", Tara 
said.
"Tara as in used to date Willow, Tara."
"Yeah we kind of dated", Tara said unsure of exactly what her and 
Willow had done.
"Cool, nice to meet you. Will, I have a big studio party tomorrow 
night and I was thinking that maybe Jen and Angie would like to go 
with me." Angie perked up at hearing her name, "Mom, can we go 
please."
"Are you sure Oz, three is a lot different then one."
"I know and I wouldn't ask if I wasn't sure I could handle it."
"Come on mom, please", Angie begged.
"Ok go pack a bag. Jen I'll be up in a minute to help with yours."
Willow looked at Oz, "Well I'm going to go help. I'll be down in a 
minute."
Oz watched her go up the steps and turned to Buffy, "You don't know 
how glad I am to see you here, Buffy. She was so afraid that you 
wouldn't forgive her for running away."
"Why didn't you call us and tell us where she was", Buffy asked?
"I figured she would call or come home when she was ready. She's been 
through hell the last few months, guys. That's why I'm taking the 
kids. I know she hasn't had a lot of time to herself lately."
"Oz you're a good man."
"Thanks just take care of her for me. I never stopped loving her."
"We kind of know how you feel", Buffy said.
"She loved you from the minute she meet you Buffy. I always knew that 
I was second best. I just thank god for giving me the chance to be a 
part of her life and for the beautiful little girl she gave me."
"DADDY", Beth yelled coming down the steps and jumping in his arms. 
Willow and the other kids came down behind her.
"Ok last chance to back out", Willow told him.
"Nope we are going to go party and I am going to be the envy of all 
the guys."
Willow watched them pull away from the curb and gave one last wave.
"So Will, you have the whole weekend to yourself, what do we have 
planned for tonight", Buffy asked.
"Well YOU two are going on a date and I am going to curl up on the 
couch with a book and a beer."
"Will", Buffy started but was interrupted by Willow.
"No don't Will me. Tara tell your girlfriend that she is going on a 
date and dates do not contain three people."
"Why not", Tara asked.
"Why not what", Willow asked in confusion.
"Why can't it be with three people", Tara said.
"Huh", Willow stammered, "Um I don't know. Go have fun, call me 
tomorrow and give me details. We can go out tomorrow night, I 
promise." Willow pushed them out the door and whispered to 
herself, "Yeah why."


Willow poked at the wood in the fireplace not because it needed it 
but because she needed something to do. After kicking Buffy and Tara 
out she had settled down with a book but her thoughts kept replaying 
the words that Tara had said. Willow sighed and looked at the TV. She 
opened the cabinet and found the tape that she was looking for. She 
put it and pushed play. She watched as the screen filled with the 
images from her last birthday party. Cheryl and the kids had worked 
hard to surprise her. For the first time since Cheryl had died Willow 
allowed herself to cry. The doorbell cut through the quiet that had 
settled on the house and Willow opened it to see Faith standing on 
her porch.
"Hey Red, long time no see. How are you?"
"How the hell do you think I feel? I'm alone in this house, my 
girlfriend is died. I'm never going to see her again. I'm never going 
to hear her say she loves me. I'm never?", Willow knees gave out
and 
only Faith's slayer speed stopped her from hitting the floor. Faith 
scooped her up and carried her to the couch. The damn broke inside of 
Willow and she lost the control she had fought so hard to maintain. 
Faith wrapped her arms around her, rocking her and rubbing small 
circles on her back trying to offer some comfort.
"Why are you here, Faith."
"I ran into Buffy and Tara on patrol, they told me that you were 
going to be alone tonight. I just wanted to stop by and make sure you 
were okay and I see that it was probably a good thing. Red, I know I 
did some bad things in the past, I hurt you but I changed. I paid for 
what I did. I can't take it back but please don't judge who I am from 
the past."
"I told Buffy the first night I came back that I couldn't be the same 
Willow that I was when I left. How could I expect you to be the same 
person you were when you left?"
"Thanks Red, it means a lot that you won't hold the past against me."
"Only if you promise not to hold mine against me", Willow said.
"Deal, is that her", Faith asked pointing to the TV.
"Yeah, we took this at my birthday party. She died two weeks later." 
Faith watched as the red head and the blonde danced on screen, " She 
was very pretty."
"Yes she was. We didn't even know that Angie was taking this part." 
Faith could see the love that two women shared, "Tell me about her."
"Really", Willow asked amazed.
"Yeah"
"Ok but let me get some drinks first", Willow said and headed for the 
kitchen but turned, "You really have changed." Faith laughed and 
turned her attention back to the TV. Willow returned with a tray with 
four beers, shot glass, salt, and a bottle of tequila.
"Hey you pretty good with that tray."
"I worked part time as a server when I first moved to Washington. I 
got good at balancing things", Willow said and sat the tray on the 
table.
"You weren't kidding about the drinks were you", Faith asked as she 
looked at the tray.
"Nope I want to get completely knock down drunk. Care to join me on 
my trip", Willow asked giving her a smile.
"Would love too."


Willow tried to see the clock on the wall but couldn't make out 
the numbers in her present state. She looked at the empty bottles on 
the table beside her and groaned, "Yup it's official, I am going to 
have one hell of a hangover tomorrow."
"You know you have changed too. You went from a geek to a mature 
woman who I might add is very hot." Willow blushed, stood up, and 
turned the radio on to a classic R&B station, "If I didn't know any 
better I would think you were flirting with me."
"Would that be all bad", Faith asked.
"Not all bad just a little." Faith looked so serious that Willow 
jumped in her lap and started to tickle her.
"Hey no fair sneak attacking me", Faith said and flipped her on her 
back causing the coffee table to tip over, "Payback is a bitch." 
"God Faith stop, I can't take it", Willow yelled between laughs. 
Faith stopped and realized that her face was inches from the red 
heads. Willow could feel her body responding the sensation. Faith 
jumped up before she could act on her desire to kiss Willow, "Dance 
with me. I love this song." She pulled Willow into her arms. They 
danced in silence just enjoying the feeling of being in someone arms.
"Do you feel better", Faith asked tucking a stray lock of red hair 
behind Willow ear.
"I do, thank you", Willow said and thought about how they had just 
talked for hours about her life. Willow snuggled closer to Faith.
"Red from everything you have said she wouldn't want you to close 
yourself off from your feelings. I think she would want you to feel 
again."
"I know she would hate the thought of me being this way. She would 
probably yell real loud." 
"How do you think their date is going?"
"They belong together. They deserve to be happy."
"What about you", Faith asked? Willow thought for a minute and looked 
into the brunette eyes, she saw nothing but concern and caring, "I 
think that I'm pretty happy right now." They danced in silence 
neither sure what was happening.
"I want to show you how to feel again", Faith whispered in her ear 
causing her to shudder.
"Faith"
"I know you love them and I know that they love you. I'm not asking 
for love or tomorrows. I'm more of a here and now kind of girl", 
Faith said and leaned in and kissed her. Willow was just beginning to 
return the kiss when the doorbell interrupted the moment. They jumped 
apart liking that their parents were catching them and Willow giggled 
at the guilty look on Faiths face. She opened the door to find Buffy 
and Tara on the front porch. When Buffy saw Willow's tear stained 
cheeks and the overturned table, then Faith standing in the middle of 
the room, she went into slayer mode. She started after Faith but 
Willow blocked her path.
"Faith what the hell did you do to her", Buffy yelled.
"B, damnit Faith now you got me calling her that", Willow said giving 
the dark slayer a glare but when Faith shrugged her shoulders she 
giggled, "Buffy she didn't do anything. She came over to see how I 
was doing. I guess I wasn't doing very well cause I kind of broke 
down."
Faith laughed, "Honey you didn't breakdown, you went into total 
meltdown. I really expected the EPA to show up to clean up the mess."
Faith saw the glare she was getting from Buffy, "Well Red I think I 
will head out of here."
"Faith sit. Buffy it's ok. She didn't hurt me; she was actually a big 
help. We talked a lot, drank cried, drank and cried?"
"And drank seeing a pattern here, B"
"Oh hush not helping your case here."
"How did the table get flipped over, Will", Tara asked with concern.
"Well we were just playing around and I kicked it over. Guys I'm ok 
really. For the first time since Cheryl died I can breath again and 
it doesn't hurt. I needed tonight. Now go home. Buffy make love to 
your girlfriend. Tell her how much she means to you. Show her hold 
her. I will be here tomorrow being it hung over but I will be here. 
Call me we will go out them."
"Are you sure", Tara asked.
"Yeah", Willow said and glanced at Faith, "I think I'll be fine 
tonight."
"We love you Will", Buffy told her.
"I know I love you too. It will be ok", Willow told her and kissed 
her on the cheek and then did the same to Tara, "No go have fun."  
Willow watched them go down the sidewalk holding hands and smiled. 
She closed the door, walked over to Faith and pulled her up, "I think 
you said something about showing me how to feel." Willow led her to 
the stairs but Faith stopped her, "Red are you sure." Willow smiled 
and started up the steps, "Come on."

Willow woke up to the feel of someone hugging her close. She 
opened her eyes and looked into the eyes of the dark slayer.
"Morning Red, sleep well."
"Mmm better then I have in months. Well after you finally let me go 
to sleep."
"We ok here", Faith asked afraid of what she might hear.
"Faith last night was?well I needed it."
"So no regrets about having a one night stand", Faith asked.
"It doesn't have to be", Willow said.
"Huh, it doesn`t"
"How about I tell you what I'm thinking and then you can decide. I 
don't love you Faith. I think I care for you. I had a wonderful night 
last night. It's been a long time since I have laughed so much. You 
are fun and I miss that. Cheryl was always there to cheer me up when 
I felt down. She reminded me of Xander because of her ability to find 
a joke in almost everything. I'm not going to lie about my feelings 
for Buffy or Tara but they need to figure out there own relationship 
before I throw myself into it. I'm not too conventional to think that 
a relationship between three people couldn't work. Hell I lived on 
the Hellmouth for the biggest part of my life. I know that you have 
to find love when you can because it might be gone the next day. I'm 
not ready yet though. They're not ready for it. I want them to find 
the love that they share for each other so there is no fear that one 
or the other might leave for me. I want them both but I can wait. 
Until then Faith I want to offer you a really good friend who cares 
for you and maybe from time to time more. Oh yeah lots more."
"Red I think that's the best offer I've had in a long time. What are 
you going to tell the others mainly Tara and Buffy that is?"
"The truth", Willow said, "I learned that secrets don't work well."  
The phone next to the bed rang and out of instinct Faith turned and 
answered it.
"Faith what the hell are you doing there", Willow heard Buffy scream 
into the phone.
"Um B what's up"
"Where's Will" Faith groaned and handed the phone to Willow. She had 
to stifle a giggle, "Hello"
"Are you ok", Buffy asked?
"Fine, how was your night", Willow asked and had to fight hard to not 
to moan as Faith began to kiss her neck. Willow half listened as 
Faith continued to have her way. 
"Hey Buff, I need to talk to you guys today. Why don't you come over 
about 5 and we can have dinner and then we can go out." 
"Ok Will, we'll see you at 5" Willow hung up the phone and pulled 
Faith down on her.
"So you all going out tonight", Faith asked.
"Yup, will you go with us"?
"Only on one condition, Red. You'll go as my date and I don't have to 
be here when you talk to Buffy and Tara."
"Yes and yes but you can't stop what you are doing right now", Willow 
moaned.
"Deal"