FIC: AU (1/?) R(i think)

["Chris" <eddie4102000@xxxxxxxxx>]

hey guys, got a new fic i'm working on for ya. hope you enjoy. 
Warning angst is ahead!

Title: AU (1/?)
Rating: R methinks
Summary: The title really says it all. if i say anything, it'll give 
the whole game away!
disclaimer. No profit...joss owns...yadda yadda yadda. i do not own 
stuff, you get the jist.

well, here goes


Part 1
"Guys?" Willow asked hesitantly, and three sets of eyes immediately 
looked up into the deep green of her own. She looked into each pair, 
and in each pair she saw so much pain hiding poorly behind a mask of 
confidence. They were trying to look as if everything was going to be 
fine and failing. They all knew this but wore the mask nonetheless. 
They would be strong for Willow. She swallowed the lump forming in 
her throat and spoke.
"The..eh?the?" she paused and again swallowed the lump in her throat 
before continuing. "The doctors gave me the news last night. It?it's 
not good." She again looked into all three pairs of eyes. She looked 
at Xander, who was standing next to Giles, both of them looking like 
they hadn't slept in days, hair and clothes ruffled and unkempt 
looking, and faces showing more than a few days worth of stubble. In 
his eyes she saw the briefest glimpse of anger, soon replaced by even 
more pain before he turned away. She then looked at Giles, sitting 
hunched over in one of those uncomfortable plastic chairs you get in 
hospitals, his legs spread wide, elbows resting on the inside of his 
knees, wringing his hands. In his eyes she saw the pain deepen before 
he looked down, still wringing his hands.
She then looked to Buffy, who was sitting next to the hospital bed 
she was lying in, grasping Willow's hand between her own as if it 
might turn to dust and slip away from her at any moment. She looked 
just as dishevelled as both Xander and Giles, but to look at her face 
was to see a picture of complete agony. The pain so obvious in her 
eyes, until now so bravely kept just bellow the surface had escaped 
and now had free reign over her features. A single tear rolled down 
her cheek as she stared back into the deep Green eyes of her best 
friend. Willow stretched out a gaunt, bony hand, wiped tear away and 
smiled a weak smile towards Buffy, who stopped the torrent of tears 
before it had a chance to pick up speed. When they had all steeled 
themselves for the inevitable, they asked her to continue.
"The tumour, well, it's in too deep. They can't remove it. They've 
given me about a month to live. They've suggested an experimental 
treatment that, if it works would give me another few months, but I'm 
not going to take it." She heard the expected gasps and put her hand 
up quickly to shush any objections. "Let me finish, please! This new 
treatment, yes, it may work, but it may not, and the end outcome will 
still be the same, just delayed. I will not be the cause of any more 
pain to my friends?my family than is absolutely necessary." Tears 
were now slowly making their way down her face, and she had to pause 
to stop the flow. Xander took this pause and tried to butt in.
"But, Will?" Xander pleaded, his voice barely above a whisper.
"No! Xander, I will not put you through that. That you've had to deal 
with this anyway is unfair, but I won't put you through two more 
pointless months of it. I've made my peace with this, and I want you 
guys to as well. I know you can't really tell, what with the way I 
look and all, but this is my resolve face. You all know what it 
means." She finished with a smile, trying to lighten the mood. The 
comment elicited a sad smile from Xander and Giles, but nothing from 
Buffy. Willow was about to tackle this when Buffy looked up.
"Guys, can I have a minute alone with Willow please?" She asked in a 
monotone, trying not to let the pain out, but all you had to do was 
look in her eyes to see it. Xander simply nodded, and left the room, 
followed by a morose Giles.



*	*	*


Willow's stare followed them out the room, whilst Buffy's found the 
bedcovers and lingered there. Willow had expected this, and started 
to pre-empt Buffy's argument.
"Buffy, I know what you're going to say, and I want to stop you 
before you do. It was hard enough coming to this decision, and I'd 
really appreciate your support in this. I understand that you don't 
want me to die, but its going to happen. I love you all, and I don't 
want this to hurt you anymore than it has to." Once again, she had 
started crying, and was wiping at her face with her hands.
" I know. I agree with you, and I do support you. That's not what I 
was going to say." Announced Buffy as she looked up. This both 
shocked and intrigued Willow, as it was not at all what she had been 
expecting.
"You do?"
"Yeah, I do. It's what I'd do if I were in your place, but, like I 
said, that's not what I was going to say. What I was going to say was?
I don't know what I was going to say. I mean, I know what I was going 
to say, but I don't have a clue how to say it, you know how it is 
when you're absolutely sure of what your going to say, but you have 
no Idea at the same time?" Buffy rambled on, picking up speed like a 
runaway train on greased tracks. Willow smiled at her friend's not so 
inner debate. Buffy finally stopped for air and looked up at Willow 
to see the smile plastered over her face, lighting up the room. When 
she saw the confused look spread across Buffy's face, Willow couldn't 
help herself and started to giggle, then tried unsuccessfully to hide 
the giggles behind her hand.
"What? What's so funny?" asked a confused Buffy.
"You are! Seems after ten years that some of me finally rubbed off on 
you! You're so cute when you babble like that!" Willow exclaimed 
happily, calming down from her recent fit of the giggles. She started 
laughing uncontrollable when she saw Buffy replaying what she'd just 
said in her head, and coming to the conclusion that yes, it was in 
fact a babble. She herself started to laugh, and for a moment, they 
were just two normal friends. No demons, vampires, or life 
threatening illnesses hanging over their heads. They were just two 
friends sharing a personal moment. Soon however, the momentarily 
forgotten situation again reared its ugly head and the sombre 
atmosphere returned. There was an awkward silence of what seemed like 
days, but was in fact only seconds. Willow spoke up and broke the 
silence.
"Now, Buffy, what were you going to say. You know you can tell me 
anything." Willow intoned with a friendly smile.
"Well, that's just it Will, I'm scared of what you might say. I've 
been scared of what you might say for years. First, well, I didn't 
think you'd be into that sort of thing, then, when it turns out you 
were, I didn't want to hurt what you had, then when that ended, you 
were hurting so bad, I couldn't be the cause of any more pain to you, 
but now, well, now you going to leave me, and I can't not say 
anything any longer. Yes, I do I know I'm babbling, but at least its 
getting said." Willow slowly took all this in, and tried to make 
sense of it, and started to come to a conclusion. Buffy then decided 
to continue.
"What I'm trying to say Willow, is that?that?that I love you. I'm in 
love with you." Buffy finished, and looked into Willow's eyes, 
searching the emerald depths for any reaction.
What she saw was not what she expected or hoped. She saw fear. Fear 
and pain. Willow's hand suddenly shot to her chest, grabbing a 
handful of her night-gown. Her face was contorted in pure agony, her 
teeth clenched, eyes scrunched closed, and blood flowing from her 
nose. She screamed in pain, and was suddenly, violently thrown from 
her bed into the adjacent wall.
"Willow!" Buffy screamed as she jumped up, across the bed and ran the 
short distance to her best friend. Just as she got there, there was a 
blinding flash of light and energy, throwing her across the room and 
into the door. She got up quickly, blinking to clear her vision, but 
froze when she saw the space that Willow had been. There was nothing 
there. She was taking the situation in when there was yet another 
flash. She was knocked off her feet and once again into the door. She 
barrelled into it and landed heavily on the floor at the foot of the 
door.
She slowly managed to make it to her knees, then to her feet. When 
her vision had cleared, what she saw before her chilled her to her 
very core. She had seen it before, and it was no less chilling now 
than it had been before. Just then the door burst open and Xander 
charged into the room, followed closely by Giles. Whatever they were 
going to say caught in their throats as they beheld the sight before 
them.
"Oh?my?God" Xander hissed out between breaths. The sight that shocked 
them so was Willow. She stood there before them sporting a familiar 
pair of leather trousers, leather bodice with frills, and the 
familiar face of a vampire.



TBC?

if ur interested in seeing what happens, i might just write more. if 
not, well, i wont

well, hope you enjoyed

later

-Chris-