Welcome to My Nightmare - 1/7 - B/W/T = R

["Hunter Ash" <carrkjar@xxxxxxxxx>]

Welcome to My Nightmare
Part 1/7
Red Moon Rising, Book 5

Author: Frau Hunter Ash 

Copyright © 2002 by Hunter Ash. All Rights Reserved.

Email: carrkjar@xxxxxxxxx Feedback welcome!!

Homepage Addy: http://www.hunterash.com/ 

Disclaimers: The characters and show all belong to Joss Whedon, Fox, 
Mutant Enemy, Kuzui, and God only knows who else. The storyline, 
however, is the sole property of the author. This story cannot be 
sold or used for profit in any way. Copies of this story may be made 
for private use only and must include all disclaimers and copyright 
notices.

F/F romance: the story assumes a loving and sexual relationship 
between people of the same gender and may even include 3 at the same 
time <G>. If this offends or is illegal for you, then please leave.  
Come back when you are older, have an open mind, moved, or changed 
your laws. 

Spoilers: This is part of the continuing Red Moon series which begins 
at New Moon Rising with some twists beginning there.

Summary: Willow is healed physically from the after-effects of 
detoxifying from the black magic Dracula forced on her and dealing 
with guilt for giving into Dracula along with Xander and Buffy. Now 
the gang wants to get out of town for some R&R. Can you say "Road 
Trip?"

Rating: R ? Pairings: B/W/T, X/An, J/G

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Buffy got out of the family car carefully, trying not to pull on her 
broken ribs. Xander grinned as he and Anya walked out of the 
Summers' house. Anya moved to help with Buffy's overnight bag and 
Xander lent his good arm to Buffy to help her stand.

Buffy's pained face lit up when she saw Tara standing in the doorway, 
waiting for her.

"Oh God, I've missed you guys," she said softly.

Joyce smiled and followed the group of young adults towards the front 
door.

"How's Will?" Buffy asked as they walked slowly.

"It's not good, Buff," Xander admitted. "It's been four days since 
you toasted Dracula and she hasn't improved much."

Buffy tried to let her tension and worries disappear when she melted 
into Tara's welcoming arms.

The Slayer was tired and so was the rest of the Scooby Gang, the only 
ones semi-fit were Anya, Joyce and Giles.

Giles had recovered from the vampire bites from Dracula's females; 
Anya and Joyce had escaped unharmed. Xander was nursing a broken arm 
and nose along with the humiliation of having been one of 
Dracula's "Renfields." Brad still had his jaw wired from where a 
Renfield-crazed Xander had broken it and Tara had escaped physically 
harm except for an energy drain and sprained ankle.

Buffy had racked up an impressive number of broken ribs, collapsed 
lung, and the loss of enough blood to have almost killed her.  

The worst was the stress of dealing with Dracula and what he had done 
to Willow.  

The red-haired witch had been seduced by his mental control, 
kidnapped and feed a steady stream of raw, black magickal energy.  
Within a day, in the midst of the continual feeding of the drug-like 
power, regular feedings by Dracula, and being tormented by Dracula's 
female vampires, Willow was hooked on the magick and hurting.

"Will?" Buffy asked as Tara hugged her gently.

"She's s-still hurting so bad, Buffy," Tara said softly, almost 
choking. "Willow still d-doesn't know us or anything."

"Remember that anti-drug film we saw last year?" Xander asked as they 
entered Buffy's home.  

"Yeah, the one that shows all the up sides of being a junkie," Buffy 
said.

"Yeah, like shaking all the time, sweating, muscle cramps, and that 
fun stuff," Xander agreed. "Willow is worse."

"Oh God, I should have been here," Buffy whimpered as Tara led her to 
the sofa.

"No, the doctors didn't want to release you today," Joyce 
protested. "They're still worried about that punctured lung, young 
lady."

"I know, it just drove me crazy to lay there for four whole days 
while Willow is hurting," Buffy protested.

"I know and you need to prepare yourself," Joyce said gently, sitting 
down on the coffee table as Tara held her daughter's hand. "Willow 
looks like hell, she's lost weight, and she's pale and most of the 
time her eyes are that magick black."

"Giles t-told you about the Watcher Council helping," Tara asked and 
Buffy nodded. "There's a hospital b-bed in Willow's room and there 
are t-tubes and monitors everywhere. A lot like when s-she was 
stabbed."

"Okay," Buffy whispered, her stomach bundling up into knots already.

"Her wrists are secured with sheepskin lined leather restraints," 
Joyce continued, watching her daughter carefully.

"Willow?" Buffy whined, her eyes filling with tears again.

"She's still out of it, Buff," Xander added. Anya was resting her 
head on his shoulder as she sat in his lap.

"The Watchers have someone magick trained by her side all the time," 
Joyce continued. "Giles says that whenever she tries to do her own 
magick they stop her, binding her."

"How long will this go on?" Buffy demanded.

"They're n-not sure," Tara said softly, trying not to break into 
tears again. "The Watchers say they've n-never seen anything t-this 
serious before. They're hoping that with you home we'll b-be able to 
help settle her energy. Etheridge has b-been meeting with Giles for 
days."

"I want to see her," Buffy said firmly and Tara helped her stand, 
slowly.

Tara and Xander helped the Slayer up the stairs but at the door of 
the bedroom, she hesitated.

The Slayer glanced at the woman sitting next to Willow's bed and 
dismissed her for the moment as she looked at her lover and whimpered.

Even with the warnings, Buffy wasn't prepared for what she saw.  
Willow looked like a heroin junkie going through withdrawals. Her 
skin was tight on her face and she almost looked lifeless. The red-
haired witch's' eyes were sunken in her head and surrounded by dark 
circles and pale skin. She had lost weight where it had been 
unnecessary and Buffy wasn't sure if the body lying in front of her 
weighed over 100lbs.  

Tubes ran from two different IV bags into her veins. Other tubes 
appeared and disappeared from under the covers along with wires 
leading to monitors.

The worst part was the restraints holding Willow's arms to her 
sides.  

Willow's hospital bed was halfway between lying flat and sitting up.  
The young witch appeared to be sleeping restlessly, pulling at the 
restraints with small whimpers.

Buffy crossed the floor slowly and Tara dragged a stool over for her 
lover. The Slayer gently touched Willow's forehead and stroked her 
cheek.

"Will," she said softly. "It's me, Buffy. Tara's here, too."

Tara moved around to the other side of the bed as the Watcher moved 
aside without a word, taking notes. Tara reached out and held 
Willow's hand.

"Willow, it's okay, we're both here," Tara joined in.

Willow sighed and stopped struggling.

Tara's eyes brightened immediately as Buffy smiled hopefully at her.  
The Watcher quickly wrote in her notebook, watching the girls as 
Joyce watched from the doorway.

She smiled as Giles walked up behind her and placed his hands on her 
shoulders.

"She calmed down when they touched her," Joyce said softly.

"Oh thank God," Giles said softly. "There might be hope."

"Giles, I've been with Buffy most of the time the last few days since 
Dracula," Joyce said slowly. "Can we have some coffee and you 
explain this to me?"

"As best as I can, I will," he agreed.

A few minutes later, Giles sighed heavily as he sat down with a cup 
of tea and Joyce with her coffee.

"Where to start?" he complained. "Willow is a witch and has dealt 
with magick for awhile. Most of the time things went wrong until she 
teamed up with Tara and she seemed to find a balance. Together they 
both improved, even their own individual powers."

"Okay," Joyce nodded.  

"Willow has more power than I've ever seen, Joyce," Giles 
admitted. "When she used that Black Magick spell to call the 
werewolf curse from Buffy onto her, she opened herself up to 
temptation. It was like taking a small bite of the apple."

"I've heard you both talking about that, when she healed you," Joyce 
nodded again.

"Yes, and once you take that bite, it can't be undone," Giles tried 
explaining. "All you can do is keep from biting it again; part of it 
is now in your system. She was doing alright, even when she ran away 
from us."

"Carson said she did some things but never anything what he would 
consider `evil,'" Joyce commented.

"Yes," Giles agreed. "Some of the magick could be seen as self 
survival or selfish but not evil. Healing her hand, hiding their 
identities when stopped by police, things like that."

"And Dracula?" Joyce asked.

"From what Buffy saw, Vlad Dracula was a sorcerer before he turned 
into a vampire," Giles said slowly and thoughtfully. "He bragged to 
her that he wasn't turned by another vampire, he changed himself into 
a vampire when he was dying in a battle by sheer will alone."

Joyce sat back in her chair, not believing what she was 
hearing. "Giles, that's not possible, is it?"

"Well, he does exist," Giles smiled ruefully. "He was totally evil 
and without a shred of compassion before he turned. One could argue 
that he had no soul to lose and simply changed from one demon to 
another, one that could continue the existence of his body."

"That explains why he's different than other vampires?" Joyce 
asked. "I mean, that mental control he had over the kids and 
changing into mist?"

"Yes, there's also some speculation that there are actually different 
types of vampires," Giles again said thoughtfully. "There are hints 
that not all vampires are alike and not all werewolves are the same.  
We may have seen an example of that with Willow being different than 
Oz and that werewolf she attacked."

"Dracula and Willow?" Joyce asked, drawing him back to the original 
conversation.

"She's powerful, Joyce," Giles said softly, his face worried. "You 
saw that healing ritual she did for me and Angel. Two different 
healings at the same time with the most raw and powerful energy that 
can be harnessed."

"Healing you and binding Angel's soul to his body," Joyce nodded, 
remembering their road trip to the beach.

"Yes," Giles nodded. "It should take someone years to reach that 
ability. It seems to come easier to her now since she did that 
werewolf spell. Dracula tapped into that and was feeding her raw 
magickal energy."

The ex-Watcher hesitated, gathering his thoughts. 
  
"Buffy said Dracula was doing it with a wave of his hand," Giles said 
thoughtfully. "I tried to explain it to Tara like this: the affects 
of dealing with the magick level she and Willow were at was like 
alcohol or marijuana. When Willow used that black spell she 
graduated to the magickal equivalent of cocaine."

Joyce frowned as she absorbed the information but nodded for him to 
continue.

"Dracula was feeding her the same level of almost pure heroin," Giles 
said softly. "Now's she hooked on that energy."

"Buffy told me about that night," Joyce said slowly. "She said that 
Willow crawled across a floor on her hands and knees to Dracula for 
that energy."

"Yes," Giles nodded, clenching his jaw against the mental pain of 
that image.

"Buffy also told me that Willow resisted him when Dracula demanded 
Willow sever her ties with Tara," Joyce pointed out.

"She told me that too, and Tara told me how Willow changed into a 
werewolf willingly and fought Dracula's werewolves," Giles 
continued. "Did Tara tell you how Willow did that?"

Joyce shook her head. Neither one of them aware that Buffy had 
ventured down the stairs and was listening on the other side of the 
doorway. The Slayer felt herself go pale at the conversation. 

"She mentally connected with Tara, grabbing onto Tara's humanity so 
she could think somewhat like a human," Giles continued 
explaining. "Willow used that edge to kill the other two werewolves."

"So if she broke Dracula's hold, why is she suffering so badly?" 
Joyce demanded.

"Willow resisted breaking her ties with Tara but she didn't break her 
ties with Dracula," Giles corrected. "I think if he showed up 
tonight, he could call her from that damned hospital bed."

"But she helped Buffy break Dracula's thrall on Buffy," Joyce pointed 
out.

"Yes, but not her own and not her addiction to dark magick," Giles 
argued. "Tara and Buffy are the only things holding Willow on this 
side of the light. Without them, she'd just give in and become one 
of the most powerful evil sorcerers I've ever seen."

"She's going through this hell because she's fighting it?" Joyce 
frowned.

"Yes, we're keeping her tied down but with a single thought she could 
snap those bonds and throw that Watcher through the window," Giles 
said grimly. "Willow is letting us keep her down."

"What about the future?" Joyce asked. "Is it like addiction? She'll 
always be tempted?"

"Yes," Giles nodded. "Just being around her at times is difficult 
for me."

Joyce looked at her fiancée in surprise.

"I still feel the craving for good strong magickal energy running 
through me," Giles admitted. "Sometimes it dances off the girls.  
It's like a recovering alcoholic being tossed in a bar and handed his 
favorite drink."

"Will she be able to work magick?"

"At a very high risk," Giles said slowly. "The more she works and 
the easier it comes and the more tempting it will be. Like a heroin 
junkie drinking a beer, it may not set off a full-blown crash but it 
doesn't help. Willow could still fall to that darkness, anytime in 
her life."

"How do you help her recover?" Joyce demanded.

"There are a few options open to us," Giles said. "One is Aversion 
Therapy, the Council is in favor of that after seeing how affected 
Willow is and how strong the energy is in her."

"What's that?" Joyce asked, not liking the sound of the term and not 
liking anything the Council was in favor of.

"Every time Willow begins to chant or do magick, someone zaps her 
with a stun gun or cattle prod, actually," Giles said calmly and 
winced when Joyce stood up so rapidly that she knocked over her 
chair. The Englishman lowered his head, refusing to meet her angry 
eyes.

"Rupert Giles! If any of you even bring one of those into my house I 
will use them on all of you and shove them?."

"Joyce!" Giles said rapidly, cutting her threat off. "I didn't say I 
was in favor of it. I think it does more harm than good, especially 
with what she's already been through with the Initiative's shock 
experiments."

Joyce reluctantly picked the chair up and sat back down, unaware that 
Buffy was smiling grimly at her mother's threat. The Slayer was 
pleased Joyce had reacted so strongly.

"What else?" the mother demanded.

"What we're doing, especially now with Buffy and Tara here," Giles 
said softly. "Try and focus Willow through the recovery and let the 
black magick work its way out of her system."

"Like coming off a drug," Joyce said, nodding. "What else?"

"Well, the Council would suggest feeding her just enough energy to 
keep her stable and taper her off slowly," Giles added, beginning to 
clean his glasses. "I don't like the method, it never works.  
Another would be to kill her and eliminate the threat."

"Rupert!"

"Stop!" Giles said, raising his voice and hand. "Again, not an 
option we'll allow. You need to understand their fears, Joyce, to 
understand what they're capable of."

"Alright, tell me!" Joyce demanded with a stern expression.

"Willow could be powerful enough to leave most of Sunnydale flattened 
in a day," Giles said slowly. "That kind of power is tempting and 
I've never seen anyone who didn't give in."

Buffy frowned and leaned against the wall next to the kitchen, 
continuing to listen in on the conversation.

"Some recover and make it out alive, others become sorcerers and 
totally abandon the light, some don't make it and burn out or are 
destroyed by their own energies," Giles explained.

"Or someone from the light kills them," Joyce finished.

"Yes," Giles nodded.

"You're telling me it's possible that Tara will have to take Willow 
down someday?" Joyce asked.

"Yes, look at Star Wars," he said firmly. "Silly films, I know, but 
the message is clear in them. Anakin Skywalker is tempted by the 
dark forces and gives in, he becomes Darth Vader and his mentor tries 
to kill him."

Buffy frowned and moved away from the wall, sneaking back up the 
stairs without the soda she had gone to the kitchen for in the first 
place.

The Slayer was quite disturbed by the Star Wars analogy. That was 
something she could understand. Power and the temptation of 
darkness, it was an easy answer. A quick way to power as Tara had 
explained once. Those working magick in the gray and light areas 
practiced, studied and worked with others to keep themselves in 
balance. Those that went for the quick power almost always fell into 
the dark. It seemed easier and quicker but the price tag was higher.

Buffy stood in Willow's doorway and watched her lover struggling 
against the bonds and her own inner demons while Tara held her hand. 
The Watcher kept Willow shielded from using any magick.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Giles had hoped that Buffy's return home would send Willow into a 
rapid recovery but he was disappointed, along with the rest of the 
Scooby Gang family. The next week was spent in the agonizing duty of 
watching over Willow as she detoxed.  

The physical part was bad enough to watch: vomiting, losing control 
of bodily functions, shaking, muscles cramps, night sweats, 
convulsions, and major nose bleeds were the worst of the physical.  
What was worse was the emotional. Willow became somewhat aware of 
her surroundings after three days and the gang had rejoiced at first 
until the pleading, begging and threats from their beloved Willow had 
hit them.

Giles and the Watchers tried to reassure everyone that this was 
expected and not let Willow's words get to them but it wasn't easy to 
listen to her cursing everyone, threatening them if they didn't 
release her and begging to be allowed a little magick.

Buffy and Tara were at their emotional end after a week.

Finally, Willow slipped into a deep sleep that lasted 48 hours.  
Despite the Watchers saying they expected it, the gang and especially 
Buffy and Tara were worried.  

********

Willow opened her eyes slowly and tried to smile.

"Will?" Tara asked softly, reaching out slowly to stroke Willow's 
cheek.

Willow tried to reach back and looked down at her restrained wrists.

"That bad?" she whispered, her voice harsh.

"How are you feeling?" Tara asked softly. Willow was amused when 
Tara looked over at a sleeping Giles in a chair and 
frowned. "Giles!" she called and the ex-Watcher continued sleeping.  
Tara picked up a box of Kleenex and threw it at him.

"What?" he demanded, sitting up quickly. His eyes focused on Willow 
looking at him and blinked several times. "Willow?"

"I take it I haven't been myself?" Willow attempted to joke as Tara 
raised the hospital bed up a little further.

"You've had a rough time of it," Tara said evasively.

"Can I touch you?" Willow asked softly.

"Giles?" Tara asked, pleading with her eyes.

"It should be okay," he said slowly. "Willow, what will you do if 
released?"

"Hug Tara to death?" Willow smiled.

"Magick?" he demanded.

"No," Willow shook her head with a frown. "Don't think I have the 
strength for anything. Don't wanna."

"Willow, I need you to promise me, solemn oath, that you won't work 
any magick without Tara or my consent," Giles said firmly.

Willow paused and then nodded. "Okay."

Giles said, "I'll get Buffy first."

Willow wanted to hug Tara back but found she had no energy to even 
raise her arms. A few moments later Buffy dashed through the door 
and joined in the hug as Giles released their lover.

Robert Etheridge watched from the doorway with Giles.

"She agreed?"

"Yes, or I wouldn't have released her," Giles nodded.

"We can help with her physical recovery," Etheridge offered. "Just 
enough energy to get her back on her feet faster so you can start on 
the emotional and mental recovery."

"Just not too much," Giles said firmly.

"Of course," Etheridge agreed, watching the three young 
women. "Giles, the Council has authorized me to approach you and Ms. 
Summers about coming back to the Council. We've had some changes 
since you left and would like to offer you the chance to return."

"The chance to return?" Giles repeated with a frown. "What does that 
mean?"

"It means that Ms. Summers would be tested on her Slayer skills," 
Etheridge said easily. "Not that archaic test that caused your 
separation but physical testing of her skills and reflexes, much like 
was done when Faith was here."

"I'm not sure Buffy wants to come back," Giles frowned. "Nor am I."

"Look around you, Giles," Etheridge urged. "You were lucky with that 
Initiative mess. You could have used our support and our resources."

Giles frowned.

"Don't be surprised if she turns you down," Giles grumbled.

"If she's as smart as she seems to be, she'll jump at the chance," 
Etheridge said, oozing confidence.  

"Besides training, what would the Council insist on?" Giles asked, 
knowing there were always hidden loopholes and small print when it 
came to the Council.

"No civilian involvement in the Slayer duties," Etheridge 
said. "Your group has gotten hurt and into trouble more times than 
the Council can count. You'll be allowed to continue as her Watcher 
on probation, another Watcher will be brought in to further her 
training. The Council feels you have reached the end of your 
teaching skills."

"Why you arrogant little puppy," Giles growled, clenching his fists 
and stepping forward a step.

"Further," Etheridge continued, as if Giles hadn't said a word or 
made a move. "Both Tara Maclay and Willow Rosenberg will return with 
me to England to further their magickal studies and train to be 
Watchers. If the Council agrees, they can return in a few years as 
Ms. Summers' Watchers."

"Out of the question," Giles hissed, trying to keep his voice down 
and not attract the attention of the girls in question. "They'll 
never agree to being separated from Buffy for any length of time.  
You've surely seen the depth of their connection. How can you even 
suggest that?"

"It is felt, and I agree, that the three of them are too close," 
Etheridge commented. "You can see it's unhealthy and doomed to 
failure. By separating them and letting the witches stay together, 
everyone benefits."

"The girls don't," Giles argued. "How the hell can that benefit 
Buffy?"

"She'll be able to focus on her Slaying and her Slayer skills and not 
on this unhealthy fascination with the other two," Etheridge said, 
his voice flat.

Giles felt his hackles rising. He glanced over at the three young 
women and saw Buffy glance at him, her eyes blazing with anger.

//Damn, Slayer senses!// he thought but mentally shrugged. She had 
heard too much already and it wouldn't help to stop the conversation 
now.  

"You feel because the three of them are involved that it's unhealthy, 
correct?" Giles asked, still keeping his voice low, at the same level 
as before.

"Of course," Etheridge agreed. "We've never seen a triad work 
before, especially with a Slayer and someone as powerful as those 
other two."

"Just because you haven't seen it before doesn't mean that it can't 
work," Giles complained. "You've seen how they balance each other."

Etheridge frowned and didn't answer.

"Damnit, I won't even consider separating them, ever!" Giles 
declared. "Buffy took a werewolf bite for Willow; Willow took the 
werewolf curse for Buffy; Tara brought Willow back from the brink of 
death by the power of love alone; Tara risked her life to save Buffy 
and Willow from Dracula; Willow almost died for Buffy again; Buffy 
walked into Dracula's mansion to save Willow. No, there's no 
negotiating and no argument, they stay together and the Council can 
go to hell."

"Thanks, Giles," Buffy said firmly.

Etheridge looked up in surprise and realized all three women had 
somehow heard the conversation.

"What?" he demanded.

"Slayer senses," Buffy grinned. "And Willow here has the hearing of 
a wolf. Tara, well, we dropped our mental shields, joined together 
and let her hear through our ears what you two were talking about."

"Shields? Joined together? What are you talking about?" Etheridge 
demanded.

"Something your Council will go absolutely batty over," Giles 
grinned. "You see, the girls can connect to each other mentally.  
They can see, talk and sense what the other two are seeing and such."

"Yeah, especially during intense moments," Buffy added. "Like sex."

"Yes, well," Giles coughed and pulled his glasses off to begin 
cleaning them.

"Mr. Giles, you must explain this," Etheridge demanded. "No Slayer 
has ever connected like this with anyone other than a vampire."

"I know," Giles smirked. "Change your opinion about what to do with 
them?"

"Well, yes, maybe, I don't know," Etheridge admitted. "We must talk."

"Just remember one thing," Buffy added, standing up and glaring at 
the Watcher Elder. "I'm an adult and I decide who, what and where. 
There will be no discussion about Tara and or Willow leaving."

Etheridge and Giles moved away from the door, heading for the kitchen 
to talk over tea, like typical Englishmen.

Buffy turned to hug Willow and Tara again.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Willow was grateful when Buffy ran the female Watcher out of the room 
and pulled the red-haired witch into her arms.  

"Why is the Watcher Council here and why do they want me and Tara?" 
Willow asked in a weak voice.

"What do you remember about Dracula, Will?" Buffy asked.

Willow frowned and thought for several moments. Tara whimpered at 
the sight of her lover struggling to even think clearly.

"Not much," Willow admitted. "It's all kinda fuzzy like."

Willow suddenly looked away and began blushing.

"I remember Xander hitting me," she whispered. "I was tied to a bed 
and Dracula kept?it felt incredible."

"Will," Buffy said softly but Willow wouldn't raise her head. "Will, 
we know Dracula was feeding you magickal energy and how powerful it 
was. He was also feeding on you, keeping you weak and under his 
control."

Tears began escaping down Willow's face and Tara gently wiped them 
away.

"We're not mad, Will," the other witch said softly. "Buffy couldn't 
resist him either until we all combined our energy."

Willow frowned, still thinking. "He wanted me to do something I 
couldn't?."

The two other lovers waited patiently. They had talked for hours 
with Giles and the Watchers on how to handle Willow's mental state 
when she became aware of her surroundings. The advice was to let her 
remember slowly and be prepared for anything.

"I couldn't let Tara go," Willow remembered and looked up into Tara's 
blue eyes, almost desperately.  

"Buffy couldn't do it either," Tara whispered. "You remember 
anything else?"

"The energy, it hurt so bad when it was gone," Willow said softly, 
dropping her eyes again. "It felt like I couldn't live without it."

"You almost couldn't," Buffy nodded. "You've had a rough time, 
Willow. That energy he was feeding you was black magick and he got 
you addicted."

Willow's frown deepened and she began to take in the IV bags, the 
tubes, wires and monitors surrounding her hospital bed. She also 
noticed how weak and thin she was.

"How long have I been out of it?" she asked.

"Over a week," Tara answered softly as Willow's eyes widened in 
surprise. "It's been hell, Willow. We've been t-taking care of you 
while your body was g-getting over the addiction."

"I feel like hell," Willow commented. "What happened to me?"

"It was much like detoxifying from a narcotic," Etheridge answered 
from the doorway. "I'm Robert Etheridge, Watcher Elder, sent to help 
oversee your recovery."

"Tell me," Willow demanded, her eyes showing a higher level of energy 
than before. "They're afraid of something."

Buffy and Tara felt their bodies jump at the intensity in Willow's 
voice.

"Am I a danger to my lovers and family?" Willow demanded. "Is that 
why you want me and Tara in England and under your thumb?"

"Yes to both," Etheridge answered calmly. "Giles has been explaining 
the unique connection the three of you have with each other and I've 
re-evaluated that original idea. Now I think the three of you do 
need to remain together. The fact still is that you need training 
desperately."

"How am I a danger and what happened to me?" Willow demanded again.

"You are addicted to magick and black magick is the easiest magick to 
access," Etheridge explained as he walked into the room with Giles 
behind him. "You want the truth, Ms. Rosenberg?"

Willow nodded firmly as Buffy and Tara exchanged worried glances 
across her bed.

"You have more potential, magically, than the Council has seen in 
centuries," Etheridge said flatly, watching Willow's reaction.

The witch looked confused and thoughtful. After a moment she shook 
her head.

"No, not me," she protested. "Most of my spells go wrong and I 
haven't studied that long."

"Nevertheless," Etheridge continued. "You have the potential and 
have tapped some of that. Healing your crushed hand and damaged 
heart, healing Giles' back injury, sealing Angelus' soul, all of that 
is high level magick."

Willow continued to frown as Buffy and Tara held her hands.

"You think I'll give into the darkness," Willow said slowly.

"It's very likely," Etheridge said easily.  

"No, only do good stuff," Willow protested. "That's the motto of the 
Scooby Gang."

"You've already worked black magick with that lycanthropic spell," 
Etheridge pointed out.

"That was to save Buffy!" Willow countered.

"You still called on the Dark Forces to work the spell," Etheridge 
snapped. "Don't pretend you didn't know the consequences."

Willow's eyes flashed angrily.  

"I knew and I'd do it again without hesitation," she admitted.

"And you knew if you continued to use magick that you would be 
tempted with darkness," Etheridge growled.

"Yes," Willow nodded. "I also resisted Dracula's demand that I give 
up the light in my life, Tara. I resisted the darkness."

"And you've been willing to die for your friends and lovers," 
Etheridge admitted. "That speaks well of your strength and 
willpower. What happened to you this week is that we kept you alive 
while your body craved and then rejected the Black Magick Dracula 
gave you. If you begin using magick again, the odds are that you'll 
fall next time."

Willow's eyes flashed again.  

"Not with Tara and Buffy beside me," she declared firmly.  

"The Council feels that we can't take that chance," Etheridge said 
calmly.

Tara squeaked softly when Willow's eyes changed to black again. She 
and Buffy looked up to see Etheridge standing stock still ? his eyes 
wide with surprise and a touch of fear.  

"Giles," he said softly.

"Willow!" Giles shouted and started across the room towards Willow.

"No, Giles," Willow growled. "Just wait."

After a moment she fell back against the bed, her eyes shifting back 
to green as she closed them. She was breathing deeply and the heart 
monitor was showing a rapid increase in her heart rate.

Etheridge was livid with anger.

"How dare you?" he shouted and Giles held him back as Willow opened 
her eyes again.

"Don't get self righteous with me, Watcher," Willow snapped. "You 
didn't tell Giles what you really have planned for me, so don't get 
all indignant now."

"Willow, what are you talking about?" Giles demanded as Etheridge 
suddenly glanced away and wouldn't meet his eyes.

"They plan on magickally short-circuiting my abilities," Willow said 
bitterly. "Kinda like Spike's chip, anytime I try and use magick 
I'll zap myself."

"Etheridge?" Giles demanded, spinning around to face the Watcher.

"She's too dangerous, damnit!" Etheridge shouted. Giles moved to 
position himself next to Buffy as the female Watcher, Jennifer 
Bryant, entered, alarmed.

Willow whimpered softly but was too weak to even raise her arms to 
protect herself.

"Stand aside, Giles," Etheridge ordered as Bryant's eyes shifted from 
brown to black. "Let's us do this or our only option is to eliminate 
the threat."

"Never!" Giles said firmly, taking off his glasses.

"You touch Willow and I'll rip your throats out," Buffy 
promised. "Have you asked what she wants?"

"That doesn't matter!" Etheridge yelled. "She's a danger and it's 
your job as the Slayer to eliminate threats to mankind."

"It's my job as Slayer to fight the forces of darkness," Buffy 
countered. "I remember, individual choices don't matter to any of 
you."

"Stand aside or we'll move you," Etheridge threatened.

"Try it and?and I'll fry you."

Everyone turned to see Tara standing on the other side of Willow's 
bed with her hands over the red-head's body, a cocoon of silver light 
surrounding Willow and the bed.  

"Leave us alone!" Tara ordered as Willow's head dropped forward, her 
energy gone.

"We won't just leave this," Etheridge threatened.  

"Yes you will," Buffy countered. "You told Giles you wanted me back 
as long as I begged. Well, guess what? I'm not begging and neither 
is Giles. Tell your witch friend there to back off with the energy 
thing or she'll try it with my stake in her throat."

"Slayers don't kill humans," Etheridge smirked.

"I'm not your Slayer, remember?" Buffy countered, stake in hand, 
poised for throwing.

"Mrs. Bryant," Etheridge said softly and the woman's eyes shifted 
back to brown.

"Now, I've been thinking," Buffy continued. "The way I figure it is 
that without a Slayer, you guys are out of a job or trying to invent 
one. You need a Slayer and you want me back but to save your egos, 
you want me to think that you're doing us a favor."

Buffy saw Giles beginning to smile beside her.

"Well, we're the ones doing you a favor," Buffy continued.

"I must say!" Mrs. Bryant began to protest and she looked down at the 
stake sticking out of the floor between her feet.

"No interruptions," Buffy ordered. "No tests, no begging and no 
changing of my Watcher. Giles will be reinstated as my Watcher?"

Giles muffled a cough/word "Retroactive."

"?retroactively and with full pay," Buffy continued. "No taking 
Willow or Tara away from us and no more talk about zapping Willow's 
powers. We'll figure it out as we go along and we've got each other 
to keep each other in line. Willow knows the dangers and we'll learn 
them."

"But no other Slayer has worked with others before," Mrs. Bryant 
protested.

"And where are they now? Hello!" Buffy demanded 
sarcastically. "You're talking about two very powerful witches, a 
1000 year old ex-demon with inside knowledge on other demons and evil 
stuff, a police detective and two FBI agents, pretty good team, I 
think."

"The boy that associates with you? No power there," Etheridge 
demanded.

"Xander is the heart of the group and has never backed down from a 
fight," Buffy countered. "And he's logged more field time than 
anyone else in your Watchers."

"Wow, soldier-type speak," Tara muttered to Willow, pleased to see 
her lover manage a small smile as she opened her eyes.

"Ms Summers," Etheridge protested. "I have my orders."

"I'm not your Slayer until I agree I am," Buffy snapped. "And I 
don't give a damn about your orders. In the future you won't be 
giving orders but suggestions; we work as partners with the Council, 
not its puppets. You share information and hot tips and we'll take 
care of the problems, deal?"

"No Slayer has ever made demands like this!" Etheridge protested.

"Once again I point out that I'm the oldest living Slayer you've ever 
had," Buffy smirked. "I stayed this way because I had friends 
working with me and because I'm rather stubborn and don't always do 
what the Council wants."

"Or me for that matter," Giles complained softly.

"You train young girls to be Slayers until they die and you get 
another one," Buffy continued, glaring at Giles for a moment. "Well, 
I'm not a young girl any more. I'm an adult and so are Willow and 
Tara and the rest of us. You'll start treating us like adults and 
not the teenagers you think you can order around."

"This is much like a government or military operation," Etheridge 
said slowly. "The job of the Slayer is designed to take orders from 
the Council, to be the weapon, not the leader."

"I'm not a machine, I'm not a toy, and I'm not a trained animal or 
robot you can turn off and on," Buffy growled. "I don't want to lead 
your stupid Council; I just want some respect for me and my friends, 
along with some cooperation. No secrets, no testing, no keeping 
information back from us that might be helpful and no replacing 
Giles."

"This is most unorthodox," Mrs. Bryant complained, crossing her arms 
and looking irritable.

Buffy grinned. "That's me!" she agreed readily.  

"The witch must be restrained and monitored," Mrs. Bryant demanded.

"No," Buffy said firmly. "What Willow needs is to be addressed by 
her name, to stay with Tara and me, not to see any more doctors, 
tubes or hospitals. We will handle it together."

"I'll present your requests to the Council and let you know their 
decision," Etheridge said slowly and unhappily.

"They aren't requests, Etheridge," Buffy corrected. "Every one of 
them is be agreed upon or you can pack up and go back to merry old 
England."

"No room for negotiation?" he smirked.

"No, none," Buffy said firmly and began counting off on her 
fingers. "Let's see, the highlights: Giles, back pay and reinstated 
as my Watcher; no replacement Watchers; no holding back of info; no 
testing of me or anyone else; no removing Tara or Willow; no zapping 
of Willow's powers; Xander, Anya and Brad stay; I get treated like an 
adult. Did I miss anything?" Buffy asked the others. "Half Watcher 
pay for everyone else, it's murder replacing ripped and bloody 
clothing, smashed doors, demon gore covered books, stuff like that."

Willow and Tara resisted giggling over the last demand.

"I'll let you know," Etheridge grimaced and motioned Mrs. Bryant out 
of the room.

The girls and Giles were surprised when Xander and Anya rushed 
through the door after the Watchers had left.


"We were outside in the hall!" Xander said excitedly.

"Buffy was like kick ass!" Anya agreed with his enthusiasm.

"Yes, I think she was marvelous," Giles agreed and turned to the 
witches, wanting to confront Willow about using magick on Etheridge 
only to discover she was asleep.

"That little bit wore her out," Tara said softly, wiping away the 
blood as it poured from Willow's nose.

Giles and everyone frowned, as the ex-Watcher checked her IV bags 
closely.  

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Willow slept soundly for another eight hours before waking up to find 
Giles sitting next to the bed, watching her.

"Hey," she whispered and tried to smile.

"Hey, yourself," he said softly, moving to unhook her restraints.  

Willow frowned. "Have I been out of it again?"

"No, it was precautionary after that flash of magick you did," Giles 
said calmly, his voice neutral and not scolding.

"Sorry about that, I just felt this incredible feeling of danger from 
them," Willow whispered, her voice raw.  

"I understand," Giles nodded, leaning over to unbuckle the other 
restraint. "It does disturb me though; you had just sworn not to use 
magick to me."

"And I acted instinctively," Willow said just as calmly. "I don't 
know how to answer that, Giles. It's like the werewolf curse, I took 
it to save Buffy but I used black magick to do it. I sensed danger 
and used magick to protect myself after promising I wouldn't. I can't 
say I wouldn't do it again either."

"We might have a problem if we can't trust you," Giles said, his face 
worried.

"Well, we sure found out we still can't trust the Council," she 
countered.

Giles sighed heavily. "We also have other pressing matters."

"What? Where are Buffy and Tara?"

"Lying down for a bit," Giles answered. "Tomorrow night is the full 
moon."

"Well, put the restraints back on and drug me silly," Willow 
suggested.

"I have another idea," Giles said thoughtfully. "Do you think with 
Tara's help that you could heal your body from what you've been 
through this week?"

"Now you want me to use magick?" Willow was definitely puzzled.

"Like you said, I don't trust the Council not to harm you or try to 
stop you from using magick," Giles began explaining. "I think they 
might try and take you while you're still weakened."

"When do we get a break from someone trying to kidnap me?" Willow 
demanded, her voice frustrated.

"I suggest that the three of you spend tomorrow night at the cell; we 
need you healthy to go through that," Giles continued. "After the 
full moons, maybe a road trip for the three of you?"

"Road trip?" Buffy's voice joined them. The witch and ex Watcher 
looked up to see Buffy and Tara walking in, looking sleepy. "We felt 
Will's energy change."

Willow brightened at the sight of her mates but whimpered when she 
couldn't even raise her arms to hold them. Giles stepped aside with 
a smile to let Tara in on his side of the bed while Buffy grabbed 
Willow's hand on the other.

"Road trip?" Buffy repeated, leaning over to kiss Willow on the 
forehead.

"I would like Willow healed in time for the full moon tomorrow night, 
using Tara and Willow's magick," Giles explained. "After the full 
moon, I want the three of you out of town until I settle the Watchers 
down and they give up this idea of burning Willow's magick out."

"Road trip," Buffy agreed with a grin and both Willow and Tara smiled.

"So how do we do this?" Willow asked softly.

"Tara, with your connection with Buffy and Willow, can you do it?" 
Giles asked.  

"I t-think so," Tara nodded.

"It'll leave the three of you rather tired, I expect," Giles 
commented. "Let me make arrangements with Xander, Anya, Joyce and 
Brad. I'll have them prepare the crypt for your three day stay.  
Once you do the healing, we'll sneak you out of the house and to the 
crypt."

"All three of us will be zapped?" Buffy frowned, hating the idea of 
being helpless.

"Probably," Giles said.

"After werewolf duty, we hit the road?" Buffy her frown turning into 
a smile. "I think we need that."

"Actually, I was thinking that all of you need that if you don't mind 
taking Anya and Xander with you. He can't work as a security guard 
with his arm in a cast and I can run the store," Giles 
suggested. "Joyce and I are going to settle in and start planning 
the wedding and getting rid of the Council."

Buffy looked at her lovers and they both shrugged. "Sure, what about 
transport?" 

"You'll find a small RV waiting for you after the third full moon," 
Giles promised. "Part of my back pay."

All of them laughed, feeling hopeful for a break in crisis duty.