AfterLife Happens B/W (1/2) PG

["ivy444444" <ivygort@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>]

Author Ivy Gort	
Spoilers up to Afterlife and then it takes off in another direction.
Direct quotes from the episode Afterlife written by Jane Epson.  
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters nor do I claim ownership 
of this fiction.
Summary: Willow has to deal with the consequences of her actions.
Dedication: Mad Hamlet is no longer on the list so I think its safe 
to say this, he is my hero. Nothing I will ever write will be close 
to his brilliance, but I'm going to keep trying and maybe, someday, 
I'll make it.


Afterlife Happens

Part One

"That's okay. I've got it. Look, guys ... There's this thing. And 
I'm just gonna 
say it." Willow watched as her best friend fidgeted. Something that 
Buffy never did in front of just the gang before?before she died.  
The red headed Wiccan didn't know what do or say to help put her 
friend more at ease. She was worried that Buffy was just going to 
have to ride it out. They all were just going to have to ride it 
out.

`There is no greater gift than for your brother to give up his life 
for yours." Or some such quote. She really should have remembered 
it, considering her drama class had done the play over the summer.  
It was a period of time that was nothing but a huge painful blur for 
the young woman.

"You brought me back." Buffy was saying, I was in a place ..." 

This was hard for Willow to watch as the slayer struggled to stay 
coherent.  

"I was in Hell." The blonde was able to spit out.

An overpowering sense of pride rushed through Willow. This was the 
acknowledgement she had been waiting for; the validation she had 
craved.

"I don't ...I can't think much about what it was like. But it 
felt ... I felt like the world abandoned me there. And then suddenly 
you guys ... You did what you did." Buffy`s words ground to a halt 
and she could see her friend fight to force a smile.  

`Oh, what tortures the she must have endured? `Well,' the wiccan 
thought to herself, `if I can pull her out the actual three-D 
surround sound version of Hell with magic, then I'm sure there is a 
spell I can use to help her through this horrible time.'

"It was Willow. She knew what to do." Tara said quietly.  

Willow felt her pride rise another notch as Buffy turned her sad 
eyes on her.  

"So you did that?" Buffy questioned.

Willow could barely contain her delight as Buffy singled her out--
but the pain in Buffy's face more than dampened that joy. There must 
be some kind of spell she could do to erase the pain and bring the 
old Buffy back.

"And the world came rushing back. So... thank you. You guys gave me 
the world. Thank you. I can't tell you what it means to me." Her 
newly resurrected friend ground to a halt once again. Long pauses 
between words seemed to the norm with this version of the Slayer.  

Willow felt a jolt when Buffy finally lifted her eyes enough for her 
to fully look into them. What she saw was beyond pain, beyond 
horror, and the witch almost thought she saw longing there.

"I should have said it before." Buffy finished.  

Willow could tell that was a prepared ad rehearsed speech. Willow 
shrugged; asking Buffy's permission to hug her. It was an old 
Scooby thing, she had once explained to Tara, Buffy was a sensitive 
emapth, and it was how she was able to feel vampires close to her.  
But, sometimes it meant that the slayer just couldn't stand to be 
physically touched, even by her friends. Especially by her 
friends. At her best friend's nod, Willow quickly crossed the short 
distance to her.

"You're welcome," Willow blurted out between the tears. `I promise 
you, promise you, I will find a way to wipe away that look in your 
eyes.' She vowed silently to herself

"Welcome home, Buffy." She heard Xander say just as he joined the 
hug and together they engulfed their friend.

Willow knew Buffy wouldn't be able to tolerate the contact for long, 
so it was no surprise when after a few seconds Buffy broke the hug. 

"Sorry guys?." The blonde started to apologize.

"It's ok Buff!" Xander interrupted backing away.  

"It's just too soon," she said looking up at Xander and Willow she 
muttered. "I-I just can't deal with. . . ."

"It's ok!" The Witch tried to put her friend at ease but she could 
tell that she'd lost her when her friend turned and started 
wandering towards the training room.

Willow just watched her go; there was no use in trying to stop her 
or engage in conversation. The few days since she'd been back, once 
Buffy drifted off mentally she stayed gone for a while.

"Now that's a sad puppy," Xander mentioned while sitting at the 
round table in the center of the Magic Box.  

"Yeah," Willow's mind was going into her overdrive mode. She turned 
back to her friends after hearing the outside door to the training 
room close. "I think we should make Buffy forget."

"What?" the other three people chorused at the same time.

Willow walked over to the table. `Quickly, I have to say this and do 
it quickly, today; it would be the only way the spell could work.'

"I've been researching the spell the monks used to create Dawn?" She 
started only to be interrupted by her lover.

"Willow," Tara started in that maternal voice the young Wiccan 
despised. "We can't do that kind of magic! Do as you will and harm 
none!"   

Willow glared at Tara, thinking what a stick-in-the-mud she'd 
become. 'She's holding my own growth and power back!' 

"Look Tara," Willow snapped. "If you'd had your way Buffy would 
still be in that torturous Hell Demission!"

"Wills, all she's saying?" Xander started.  

Willow burned, seethed with rage at the mutiny! Turning, she made 
for the training room, fully intending on doing the spell.  

"I'm right about this," she told them as she left, "and you guys 
will see!" She hurried, because if she was going to rework Buffy's 
memories of Hell, she had to do it quickly


"Buffy?" she queried, getting no answer. When it was apparent her 
friend wasn't in the room, she opened the door to the outside.

Willow was startled to hear Spike's voice and the tail end of his 
comment. "...but I know a thing or two about torment."

"I was happy," she heard Buffy say in that same sad voice. 
Everything inside Willow froze. She couldn't move, couldn't think, 
stuck holding the outside door slightly ajar. She couldn't believe 
she'd heard correctly. Buffy couldn't have been happy in Hell! It 
was that bastard, Spike, again! He'd done this to Buffy! He'd 
confused her to the point where she didn't know what to think!

"Wherever I ... was ... I was happy. At peace." Her friend 
reiterated.   

All Willow could do was stand there as if her feet were stuck in 
glue. Her emotional high from Buffy's praise only a few minutes 
earlier drained out of her. 'No!' she thought frantically. Bile rose 
up in her throat. 'What have I done?'

"I knew that everyone I cared about was all right. I knew it." The 
words seem to pour out of Buffy's mouth and each one was like the 
stroke of a whip.

`But we weren't alright; we were never even close to alright! Willow 
thought?begged in her mind. Don't you understand nothing was right, 
nothing could ever be right, without you here?' Fat salty tears 
began to stream down Willow's face, and she was able to free a hand 
from the paralysis that had gripped her long enough dash them away.  
She wanted to turn away from the words, from Buffy, but she couldn't.

"Time didn't mean anything, nothing had form... but I was still me, 
you know?" The young witch saw the slayer look questioning at the 
Vampire before she continued. "And I was warm and I was loved... 
and I was finished. Complete. I don't understand about dimensions or 
theology or any of ... but I think I was in heaven."

`Heaven?' Willow thought, `you were loved? But, I love you! I've 
always loved you!'

"And now I'm not."  

"Buffy?" Spike asked.

"I was torn out of there. My friends pulled me out. And everything 
here is bright and hard and violent... Everything I feel, everything 
I touch... this is Hell."

`Hell is being with me.' The witch thought in anguish.

"Willow? Sweetie?" Tara's voice broke the thrall Buffy's words had 
over Willow and she let the door slide softly shut. As the door's 
lock clicked all control the young girl had over her tears dissolved 
and she slowly slid down the wall as sobs wracked her small frame.

She couldn't see her lover through the torrent, but she could feel 
her hand on shoulder.  

"Sweetie, honey, what's wrong?" She heard Tara ask and it enraged 
her.

She pushed to her feet, "What's wrong?" Willow knew she was 
shouting. She couldn't stop herself, couldn't stop screaming, at 
the one person who always believed in her.

"What's wrong? Well, I'll tell you what's wrong!" She paused at Tara 
so she could walk up to the Xander blob that just ran into the 
room. "I'll tell you all what's wrong! Buffy was in heaven!  
Heaven and I sundered her from it and now she's in Hell!"  

"Will, you aren't making any sense." Xander told her calmly walking 
up to her and gathering her into a hug. "Tell me again, slowly and 
in one syllable words."

It almost worked. He was almost enough, but he wasn't. Buffy's 
words echoed in her mind, `I was in heaven, and now I'm not, I was 
torn?.'

"Oh God, I have to go!" Willow said quietly, and when Xander 
wouldn't release her, she threw him against the wall and dashed out 
into the day.

End of Part One

TBC