Re: Drake Re: FIC: Slayer Academy - LONG

["Drake" <drake@xxxxxxx>]

From: <djgirl1978@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>

1)But I must say that it surprises me a lot. Faith and Buffy both into thr
discipline gig?
>>That's not Buffy. It's Dakota.

<<Agreed. But behind all are Giles, Buffy, and Willow. It's astonishing they
trust Faith enough to let her run the school... well, given Dakota's
abilities that's okay, I guess... but it's still them planing all that. And
I'm not certain Buffy'd be willing to have this kind of discipline enforced
on anyone... and Faith has never shown any affection for it. I can see Giles
insisting on strict discipline for those learning magic, but I'd think
they'd try to have the others grow up in a less caged enviornment... look at
Kendra... she grew up somewhat like you describe the Academy... and all it
brought her was a quick death within a couple months of being called. Less
than either Buffy or Faith, and both started in a worse position, without
any formal training at all... still they're the ones still living. >

3)start training Slayer Support teams... supported by a headquarter with
extensive security measures, and a huge collection of artifacts and research
material.
>>Again... this is the eventual aim.

<<Given their resources, it shouldn't be hard to find some former Special
Forces soldiers for that job... and once you got a few good ones, they'll
get all their former buddies in. AFAIK there are hundreds of soldiers
leaving SF every year (if not more)... and if you want to build support
teams, that's where you begin.>>

4) I'd also say that the introduction is incomplete.
>>So would I... that's why it's just an introduction. ;)

<<Sorry, I meant the introduction of the school staff... that usually covers
all important positions. And if they can't be present, they're at least
mentioned by name. Least that's the way I know it.>>

5)what IS above the fourth floor, plus some emergency procedures, including
secret weapon storage sites, and the location of alert buttons.
>>Fourth floor... c'mon, don't you like the mystery? *g*

<<I do. I don't say you need to tell it in the story, but the girls should
know all that stuff. Like:
Dakote proceeded to fill them in on the positions of hidden weapons for
emergencies. Following a list of gathering points in the case of a surprise
attack, now including sufficient money for a group to stay hidden for well
over a month, she filled them in on the artifacts stored in various areas of
the Academy, and why they were not to fall in the wrong hands.>>

Also, think of this. You're running a school with a skeleton crew and your
student body is nearly fifty rambunctious teenage girls. Are you going to
tell them that they can't go into this area because ___insert really
cool/interesting/dangerous thing here___ is being stored there? Hell no...
because it'd be the first place they'd go.

<< Or race there and get it to safety when the school is attacked. The
Watchers Council was just destroyed by an attack with insider information...
they should be pretty paranoid at the moment.
Beside, you may soon have to trust those girls with the future of the whole
world, and you don't trust them with a few interesting gimmicks? I'm not
saying that you don't need to control them, but they may soon bear a huge
responsibility... unless you want to break them, it's best to give them more
and more responsibility over time... including information about things they
should stay away from.
You can't treat them like children and then expect them to save the world
with perhaps 24 hours inbetween. There's no guarantee how long Faith will
live... there are enough reasons to hunt her down for someone to attack her
there sooner rather than later.>>

6) Also, it seems you're missing at least one leader of the Academy, and one
whole group... a magic teacher, and a class of future witches, mages,
sorcerers, wizards, seers, psychics, and whatever else exists in your world.
>>Nope. They're there. Magick is what Maisri teaches, besides being the
school nurse.

<<Okay... but IMHO that's the kind of stuff the students need to know. And
that'd be nice for the reader to know... IIRC you didn't even mention Maisri
in the story...>>

8) Now to the ciriculum. Why French? Latin they need, but other old
languages,
like Greece, Arabic, Chinese, Japanese, Sumerian,
>>Multi-faceted answer. A) because a significant portion of the world
population speaks French & it would do them good wherever they went; B)
because it's the only language they have a teacher for.

<<French? I thought the 5 biggest languages are Chinese, English, Spanish,
Portugese, and Arabic. Well, may be wrong there.
B) LOL Can't argue with that. They really need to hire some more people. <G>
>>

9) Also it seems wasteful having them all learn the same things... And I
don't know to what degree regular school stuff has to be tought.
>>Keep in mind that, to the outside world, the Academy is presenting itself
as a prestigious girls' school. They've got to have a real curriculum.
Also, a well-rounded childhood education is essential to the growth of a
mature and sophisticated adult.

<<They may give that image, but they're really 'just' training the girls for
their future jobs... It's not like they'd withstand a in depth investigation
anyway, and a casual look into their activity can easily be fooled.
What you describe are nice long term targets, but right now they need new
people, and they need them urgently. While Armageddon might be more common
on the Hellmouth, Angel's problems in LA show that they aren't limited to
Sunnydale... and it's pretty certain that the Watchers kept tight control
watch for Armageddon attempts in Britain... while they might have been led
by a fool, they did have a place, and that place is currently empty...
something will move in there... I'd expect there to be some excitement
rather soon... an organization like the Watchers can't disappear without
causing reactions all over the world. Many demons and Vamps might now
consider Britain a free snack area...>>

11) And English? Well, I don't know what you did in those classes, but I
didn't
learn anything useful there.
>>Don't ask me that question. I teach English.

<<ahh... so what DO you try to teach in English classes?... Well, maybe
better take that to private mail. >>

12) I agree with maths and science, but I'd really question Faith's
qualification to teach those. Or the usefulness of having her waste her time
with those classes.
>>Somebody's gotta do it. What makes Dakota qualified to teach
English/History? Nothing except that she's there.

<<Okay, that sounds very unlikely... sure, the Watchers are dead... but they
don't have any contacts that know about demons/magic that could help out?
Heck, they could run some/most classes seperately from their other
activities, and hire teachers that don't know about magic... they might
wonder about some of the activity, but would be able to actually teach the
girls some stuff. People in the Buffyverse have an unnatural ability to
ignore everything that doesn't seem normal.>>

13) Perhaps add classes like: Politics: Intelligence: Driving: Weapons:
Computers: Meditation: Magic training:
>>They get those things. Regular academics (sci., math, etc) are only held
twice a week. This is all addressed in the next installment.

<<Cool. Looking forward to that.>>

Hope this helps! :o)

<<Yep, cleared up quite a few questions.>>

Drake