Re: Something I've noticed: A Mad-Hamlet Rant

[Mad Hamlet <Mad-Hamlet@xxxxxxx>]

Greetings,

Well this should be about as an explosive re-introduction as I've ever seen.

Rant is in the attachement.

I remain, as always,
Mad-Hamlet


Come and Get BRUTALised. 
The Femslash Comment and Critque List.
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/BrutalCC/


Look upon my work ye mighty and...ah skip it.
http://www.realmoftheshadow.com/madhamlet.htm
-Mad Hamlet

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\fs24\lang1033\langfe1033\cgrid\langnp1033\langfenp1033 {\insrsid737989 Greetings,
\par }{\insrsid8918534 
\par Okay, someone emailed me this absolutely charming post that's been making the rounds }{\insrsid12270253 on the BWW list and asked me my thoughts. So here we go.}{\insrsid8918534 
\par }{\insrsid12270253 
\par I'd apologize ahead of time for anyone who might take offense but let's all be honest with ourselves, do you actually think I'd really care?
\par }{\insrsid737989 
\par }{\cs16\f2\fs20\insrsid737989 i don't}{\f2\fs20\insrsid737989 \line }{\cs16\f2\fs20\insrsid737989 know so out of the point you know?!...so...im new here, and i love fanfics, so}{\f2\fs20\insrsid737989 \line }{\cs16\f2\fs20\insrsid737989 
is this group, im a huge fan of willow/buffy }{\f2\fs20\insrsid737989 \line }{\cs16\f2\fs20\insrsid737989 thing and im a truly believer that they had hidden feelings for each other even}{\f2\fs20\insrsid737989 \line }{\cs16\f2\fs20\insrsid737989 
on the real show, you know...just look at their lines, and what about the}{\f2\fs20\insrsid737989 \line }{\cs16\f2\fs20\insrsid737989 looks? and the i kind of love you }{\f2\fs20\insrsid737989 \line }{\cs16\f2\fs20\insrsid737989 
think?...mmmm...buffy is heterosexual ok! but willow is her secret desire! and}{\f2\fs20\insrsid737989 \line }{\cs16\f2\fs20\insrsid737989 it'll be forever!...just don't write if you don't know please!...and don't get}{\f2\fs20\insrsid737989 \line }{
\cs16\f2\fs20\insrsid737989 mad im just trying to make a point...and sorry my mistakes but im from}{\f2\fs20\insrsid737989 \line }{\cs16\f2\fs20\insrsid737989 venezuela and we speak spanish!
\par 
\par }{\cs16\insrsid737989 Alright then. Let's take a look at this\'85slowly. 
\par 
\par Um\'85
\par 
\par Give me a second here; I've got to re-read five or six times. Is this Greek?
\par 
\par So the general idea herin is a plea to the authors at large; a plea for us to only write about what we know and should we, as there are a large number of varying typ
es about, happen to be either of the male, or heterosexual persuasion, or worse both, than we should not, in any way shape or form, continue to write about the occasions involving lesbian sex and or erotica.
\par 
\par Do I have that boiled down into one hideously long run on sentence about right?
\par 
\par Ahem. 
\par 
\par Let me briefly collect myself for a properly formed and carefully crafted response.
\par 
\par Bullshit.
\par 
\par Yes. That fills the criteria quite nicely.
\par 
\par Bullshit.
\par 
\par The logic here is appalling. Just because I happen to have a penis renders it impossible for me to conceive of, much less write about, accurate lesbian lovemaking? Is that what you're saying?
\par 
\par Explain J.R.R. Tolkien then. I'm pretty positive he never went gallivanting around Middle Earth with some ring}{\cs16\insrsid10360729 of power}{\cs16\insrsid737989 wrapped around his neck.
\par 
\par Explain C.S. Lewis then. It is highly doubtful that he ever opened his closet and found a talking lion in the back. 'Hi, I'm Aslan, got any food?'
\par 
\par Explain Stephen Fry\'85oh no. Wait. Okay he _IS_ gay so that makes it okay in his books for his characters to be gay. Which, unsurprisingly, they}{\cs16\insrsid8918534 ,}{\cs16\insrsid737989 more often that not}{\cs16\insrsid8918534 ,}{
\cs16\insrsid737989 are.
\par 
\par Explain Shakespeare, explain Yeats, explain }{\cs16\insrsid8918534 George }{\cs16\insrsid737989 Lucas, explain Milton, explain Frost, explain }{\cs16\insrsid8918534 
Dylan Thomas, James Thurber, Terry Pratchet, Robert Hayden, Robert Lowell, Orson Wells, John Steinbeck, Arthur Miller, Ernest Hemingway, Sterling A. Brown, F. Scott }{\cs16\insrsid10360729 Fitzgerald}{\cs16\insrsid8918534 , Robert B. Parker\'85.}{
\cs16\insrsid737989 
\par }{\cs16\insrsid8918534 
\par Hell, explain J.K }{\cs16\insrsid10360729 Row lings}{\cs16\insrsid8918534 - I'll bet you }{\cs16\insrsid7234206 the billion}{\cs16\insrsid8918534 }{\cs16\insrsid7234206 dollars she's probably going to make }{\cs16\insrsid8918534 
she's never zoomed around on a broomstick!
\par 
\par For God's sake explain Joss Whedon himself as I'm absofuckinglutely positive he's never shoved a wooden steak into the heart of a bloodsucker before.(Well\'85we are talking about Hollywood executives here\'85okay it's possible)
\par 
\par Explain every single author, writer, director, artist or what have you, who have ever thought, 'Hmmm\'85what if\'85.'
\par 
\par If they had heeded your plea Ms }{\insrsid8918534 Mar\'eda Virginia they wouldn't have ever done anything.
\par 
\par Hell, by your very own logic you shouldn't even be posting to the BWW in the first place. 
\par }{\insrsid10360729 
By this I mean one could point out to you your lack of mastery over the English language and thusly, as you do not know something, you should not be using it. Needless to say to actually seriously take such a stance would be rude, funny as hell, but rude.

\par 
\par I'm brutal, I'm not rude (okay I am but this one time I choose not to be though I will point out where I could have been)
\par 
\par Despite this you decided to communicate with the List and you know what?}{\insrsid8918534 
\par }{\insrsid10360729 
\par T}{\insrsid12270253 hat's fine, you want}{\insrsid10360729 ed}{\insrsid12270253 to, you did, we heard you}{\insrsid10360729 }{\insrsid12270253 
(I personally think you're out of your mind) and we have, to some degree, greater or lesser, nicer or somewhat more voraciously, responded. }{\insrsid8918534 
\par }{\insrsid12270253 
\par Now I was a fanfic writer of no mean experience before I re
tired (I come back to address this issue as I find such thoughts inherently dangerous to the idea of writing itself. That will get me to respond regardless of the forum, be it fanfiction or normal fiction.) And I was very pleased to, occasionally get feed
b
ack questioning me on my very gender as the reader at that time could not tell if I knew what I was writing about from experience or just imagination. The answer is, obviously now, imagination as I have not, nor cannot engage in lesbian sex. I would watch
however and you know all of you would too, admit it.
\par 
\par }{\insrsid7234206 Appropriately}{\insrsid12270253 enough a few lines from the actual Hamlet spring to my mind that I think would be fitting here.
\par 
\par Polonius: My lord, I will use them according to their desert.
\par 
\par Hamlet: Odd's bodikin man, better: use every man after his desert and who should escape whipping? Use them after your own honor and dignity: the l}{\insrsid7234206 ess they deserve}{\insrsid12270253 more merit is in your bounty.
\par 
\par If this is over the collectives head I shall pontificate and elaborate. }{\insrsid7234206 
Succinctly if one did for others as he believed that they deserved all would be punished, rather if one did for others as one wished for one's own self all would be well treated. }{\insrsid12270253 
\par }{\insrsid7234206 
\par Thusly I can segue to: If we all wrote what we knew it would be a poor world of literature indeed that caged us rather than freed us. Therefore it is better to write what you do not know, or taking into account what you do know and imagining the rest. 

\par 
\par It is porno movies that }{\insrsid8853862 forward}{\insrsid7234206 the idea that sex is rough, harsh, about dept
h, penetration and force. In actuality anyone with even a smidgen of experience in the actual act of lovemaking can attest that sex is more often about soft acts, careful graces and patience. This then can be applied to nearly every situation that one cou
ld conceive of in terms or erotica. 
\par 
\par Outside those involving leather of course.
\par 
\par Bear in mind that I said 'More often about' not 'Always about'. At times lovemaking can be as harsh, desperate and animalistic as is often portrayed in fiction. Be in a video portrayal, photographic, illustrated or written. 
\par 
\par Thus with heart, and mind, and imagination I have all the right to write(heh) about lesbians making love to my hearts content; and that inc}{\insrsid8853862 ludes them doing so in a bed of }{\insrsid7234206 rose petals and silk or the back o
f a pickup truck bumping down an orchard path at dusk.
\par 
\par The only thing I am responsible for in this act is doing it 'Right' and that, my dears, is a whole other topic for another time.
\par }{\insrsid8918534 
\par }{\insrsid7234206 In conclusion I have and in the future I}{\insrsid8918534 may again write about lesbian love scenes. }{\insrsid7234206 And I will do a damn good job of it too.}{\insrsid8918534 
\par 
\par Just me and my penis.
\par 
\par 
\par I remain, as always,\line Mad-Hamlet}{\cs16\insrsid8918534 
\par }{\cs16\insrsid737989 
\par }{\cs16\insrsid7234206 
\par PS. Oh yeah, hey Bear! This little crack about\'85.
\par 
\par 'I've met a few individuals who absolutely lose their minds when someone doesn't 'follow the rules of writing'
\par 
\par That aimed at anybody we know? <winkwink,nudge,nudge>
\par 
\par -MH
\par }{\cs16\insrsid737989 
\par 
\par }{\cs16\insrsid737989\charrsid737989 
\par }{\insrsid737989 
\par }}