FIC: Scene VI, Scenes from the Rest of Their Lives

[Becky Northcut <bighotvirgo@xxxxxxxxx>]

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Buffy, the Vampire Slayer and all characters therein
belong solely to Joss Whedon,UPN, Mutant Enemy, et al,
not this author. 

This story was created purely for fandom purposes. No
copyright infringement is intended. Song lyrics from
"Stockholm Syndrome" by Yo La Tengo, from the album I
Can Hear the Heart Beating as One (1997). Lyrics
quoted for entertainment/fandom purposes, no copyright
infringement intended. 

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Scene VI 


"Your heart is broken, 
and the doors are open 
As you're hoping to be 
There's brighter places to see 
Hands need warming, early in the morning 
Hardly as alone as surprised" 


?Stop the bus.? 

?Hmmm...unh?? Willow murmured, face down into her
pillow. It was still raining outside and after they
had woken up a while ago, she had drowsed back off
again. 

?Stop the bus,? Buffy repeated. ?That?s it. I need get
off the bus, Will.? The slayer rolled over to face
Willow, who was doing her best to wake up. 

?That?s what I want to do,? Buffy repeated. ?It just
came to me.? 

"We're not on the bus. We're in the motel room."
Willow pushed hair out of her eyes and yawned. ?You
want to get off the bus.? She squinted against the
light, looking around. 

?Yeah.? Buffy nodded enthusiastically. 

The redhead muttered sleepily, ?Get off the bus, as
in...how?? Another yawn followed. 

?As in, the bus drives down a nice street. Buffy asks
the driver to stop, Buffy gets off the bus, and the
bus drives away,? the slayer explained patiently.
?Buffy waves goodbye.? 

Willow leaned over to snag a hair band from the
nightstand. Pulling her hair up off her face, she
turned back to the slayer. ?So you want to get off our
bus? You want us to drive away and leave you.?
Struggling a bit with the hair band, managing a fairly
sloppy ponytail, she looked at Buffy. ?You want us to
leave you... when we go...you want to stay. Here? ?

The ponytail threw Buffy and she got a little lost in
wondering how Willow could look excruciatingly goofy
but hot at the same time. It was a thought she used
to have a lot when they were younger, when Willow was
a lot goofier, and Buffy was a lot bolder with the
subtextual sexy thinking thing. 

God, there had been so much free space in her head
back then....and now? Not much room in there now, not
like things aren?t complicated enough, why these
thoughts again now? ?Course, the waking up in the arms
of beautiful lesbian best friend who smells better
than anyone has a right to, that could do it, she
mused. 

?Buff?? Head cocked, Willow had a sleepily earnest
?earth to Buffy? look on her face. 

?Um. Yeah, sorry. The answer is yes, yes, but no. Not
here.? 

?Where?? the witch asked. ?When?? 

?Haven?t got a clue.? Buffy shrugged. ?All I know is
that it just came to me this morning, how I want to
stop.? 

?Get off the bus.? Willow restated. 

?Yeah, I want to be finished now. Right now we?re
drifting along, licking our wounds, most likely
heading to the Cleveland hellmouth, and I know there?s
a lot of work to do and slayers to find and some kind
of watcher or guardian or whatever council to set up,
and starting over and..? 

?You want out now, before it sucks you back in.?
Willow said, more to herself than Buffy, getting the
implication of the slayer?s idea. 

?Weightless. Floating. Remember?? Her voice rising,
Buffy pulled the covers up around her, hugging pillows
to her chest. She suddenly felt about six years old,
trying to talk her mother into letting her stay home
from school. 

Willow shook her head, awake now, gently smiling,
?Buffy, you don?t have to justify this to me. Of
course you want out.? She leaned over and rubbed
Buffy?s curled up feet through the blankets. ?I say go
for it. Get off the bus. Get a life. Go to Europe. 
Go deep sea diving. Climb a mountain. Veg out. Go to
the movies. Get a puppy. Ooooh Buffy, please get a
puppy!? 

?Whoa, there, too many choices,? Buffy held up both
palms. ?Let?s just stick with the stopping for now.
Well, and maybe the stopping when and stopping where .
? 

?Might be good to get a handle on those before the
puppy, yeah.? Willow nodded, with a little bit of a
pout. ?Puppies need a lot of stability.? 

Buffy smiled, nodding. ?I?m thinking I should talk
about this with Giles, at least with the when part,
since he?s the guy with access to the Council?s
accounts and puppy or no puppy, I?m gonna need some
kind of income.? 

?And maybe you could ask Xander for some help with the
where. He and Giles and Andrew are all in the same
suite downstairs. It would do him good to have a
project, other than driving the bus,? Willow added. 
?I talked to him yesterday for a long time. He wants
things to occupy his mind, keep him from thinking too
much.? 

?OK, so I?ll see if they?re up for breakfast.?
Yawning, the slayer tousled her blond hair. She got
up and dug a pair of sweat pants out of her bag,
pulled them on, then shrugged on a sweater. 

?Do you think it?ll be soon?? Willow asked quietly, as
she sat looking at her feet hanging off the edge of
the bed. 

?Well, I assume it?s going to take a while to figure
things out, so probably at least not before
breakfast,? said the slayer with a grin, looking
around for the phone, not seeing the redhead. 

Grabbing the phone, the slayer read the dialing
instructions. ?OK, so what room are they in? Will?? 

?Will?? Buffy looked back toward the bed and saw her
best friend looking at her toes, chewing on her bottom
lip, which was trembling. Setting the phone back down,
Buffy slid across the bed and rolled over on her back,
next to Willow, so she was looking up into the witch?s
downturned face. 

Willow rolled her eyes and waved her hands
self-consciously, looking upward, trying to escape the
slayer?s concerned gaze. ?I?m OK, really. I?m sorry to
be such a crybaby.? 

?Shhh,? Buffy reached up and caught one of the witch?s
hands in her own, tugging it to her chest. ?It?s OK. 
Queen of the Crybabies here, remember? And don?t
think you?re getting my crown so easy, Red.? 

A tear finally escaped and rolled down the redhead?s
cheek. She sniffled and looked down at Buffy. ?I?m
gonna miss you,? she said simply. 

?Not gone yet.? Buffy squeezed the witch?s hand. ?I?m
right here. Besides, you know we?ll probably call or
email every day.? 

?Yeah,? the witch?s voice was wavering. ?I know, I
know. I?m just...I have all these thoughts and
feelings... all at once...and everything stopped for a
while and now it?s started moving again and...? 

?And?? Buffy waited. ?And what?? she asked gently. 
When the redhead didn?t answer, Buffy reached up and
pulled her down on the mattress, scooting over so they
were facing each other at arm?s length, their hands
outstretched between them. Looking over their clasped
hands, into Willow?s eyes, she asked again, ?What is
it?? 

Willow looked back at her and took a deep breath,
centering herself. ?Well, mostly....I?m just so
happy... so incredibly fucking happy...that you got
out alive. You made it, Buffy. You survived.? 

?I know,? Buffy whispered. ?I never thought I?d be
here, I mean, not here, but you know, with a future.
I?m really scared, Will.? 

Not wanting to upset the witch any more, she tried to
lighten the mood, ?Xander?s not the only one that
needs a project right now.? She stretched and tensed
her hands, still in Willow?s grip. ?I don?t know what
to do with these, except kill things. Not a lot of
call for that, outside of...? 

Willow didn?t seem to be listening, as she turned the
slayers hands over in her own, thoughtfully, intently,
running her fingers over the knuckles, tracing scars,
then hesitantly pushing the calloused palms upward,
following the lines with her thumb, lost in their
stories. 

A sudden flash of images. Tracing Willow?s mouth with
her thumb. Willow?s lips parting around her thumb,
sucking on it. What was with this lesbo Buffy stuff
all of the sudden this morning? 

Buffy felt like they were suspended in time, or was
she dreaming as she watched the witch? Willow smiled
softly, more to herself than Buffy, and continued her
reverent exploration of the slayer?s strong hands,
these hands she?d cleaned and bandaged so many times.
Willow who always fixed her when she was broken.
Willow who knew what a woman?s hands could do. 

More flashes. Willow pulling, pushing Buffy?s hand
with surprising strength, down her neck, against her
breast, down over the taut belly, and oh my god, under
the waistline of the silk boxers. The sensations were
so real, this had to be happening...somewhere....not
just her head. The slipperiness of silk, the flinching
of warm skin under her fingertips, mingling of scents
as the heat rose. 

Buffy shuddered, her breath hitching, but the witch
didn?t notice, obviously lost in her own thoughts
about the other things these hands could do, given
half a chance. Buffy wondered if they could possibly
be thinking the same exact thing. As if to answer,
Willow curled her fingers and palm around the middle
two fingers of Buffy?s right hand, tightening her hold
slightly, then releasing it. A shock of sudden heat
flushed Buffy?s entire body. As she gazed intently at
Willow's face, she was almost certain that the witch
could hear her thoughts. Willow must have felt the
slayer staring ? looking up into Buffy's eyes with a
start, she snapped out of her reverie, blushing
deeply. Opening her fingers wide, she pulled her
hands back quickly, as Buffy did the same. For a
second, the two women simply stared at the space on
the mattress where their hands had been. 

Willow sat up quickly, looking trapped. But, clearly
about to launch into babble mode, she collected
herself, and simply said, ?Buffy, I?m so sorry. I?m
just... I?m sorry.? 

Buffy was still laying on the bed. She felt paralyzed,
exposed yet weirdly passive. Going limp, the new Buffy
Summers defense. ?Will, it?s OK, really. It
wasn?t...? 

?It wasn?t OK!? Willow?s voice was tremulous. ?I mean
one minute you?re talking about your future and the
next, I?m fondling you...r... hand. It was...well, at
the very least it was disrespectful, not to mention
the whole best friend and trust and
straight...very...always...not, well, not...and then
well you were so....blushing
and...obviously...shocked.? 

?We were talking about why you were crying, not just
my future.? Buffy said quietly after the babble
subsided. She sat up straight on the bed, ankles
crossed. ?And I liked it,? she added. ?The hands
part, I mean. I was blushing because I suddenly got
scared you were reading my mind, could hear my
thoughts.? The slayer?s voice was very quiet as she
finished. ?I was having thoughts and feelings I?m not
used to thinking and feeling.? 

...well actually she was used to having them, it?s
just she wasn?t used to telling anyone ? least of all
Willow ? that she thought and felt this stuff...on
occasion...had been doing so for years, off and on... 

?So I was thinking some very not straight, very not
best friend thoughts and feeling some feelings those
thoughts made me feel.? The slayer paused for a
breath. ?About you.? 

She wondered at how oddly calm her voice sounded. 
This confession wasn?t something she could take back.
This would change things. Why did she feel like she
was watching a movie of this all of the sudden? Why
did she feel so removed? Where was the rest of the
sound in the room? She felt like she was in a vacuum.
Willow?s voice sounded like she was in another room,
not two feet away and Buffy struggled to comprehend
her question, it seemed like a good question. Willow
was smart, always with the questions. But what had she
just asked? 

?What were you thinking, Buffy?? Willow?s voice was
barely a whisper, or maybe it just sounded that way
here in Buffy?s vacuum dream mind. 

?Probably pretty much the same thing you were.? Buffy
answered simply. 

Again with the calmness. Strange, especially since
she felt like she couldn?t breathe. 

?About things my hands could do.? 

Buffy looked over and waited for the redhead to speak
but there was no response from Willow, who seemed to
be intently studying the wall to her right. 

?It was my hands you were thinking about?? Buffy asked
with a sudden uneasy curiosity. 

?Oh, yeah,? was all the witch said in response. 

?Will, earlier you said you were overwhelmed by a
bunch of thoughts and feelings. Was
this...stuff...part of that?? 

The brave slayer calmly presses on. But where exactly
was she heading? What was going to happen next? What
did she want? Why was she pressing Will for answers? 
Does she have any herself? 

Willow stood up abruptly. ?I can?t have this
conversation right now. It?s a conversation we have
to have but I just can?t do it right now,? she said
all in a rush. Buffy looked up to find Willow staring
right into her eyes, waiting for acknowledgment. 

?OK.? The slayer simply nodded. Limp. Like a lamb to
the slaughter. 

Willow continued immediately, ?Since the spell the
other day, all this power is surging through me. It?s
like tides, though, it ebbs and flows. And I want to
have this conversation when it?s flowing. Not right
now when I?m in babble mode. I don?t want to have a
scared little girl conversation.? She ran out of
breath, and had to pause. ?It means too much.? 

?But maybe it doesn?t have to,? Buffy answered, too
quickly. 

Uh Oh. Bad choice of words. Why was she talking? What
was she saying? What did she even mean? Shut up now. 

?I mean, this doesn?t have to be some earth-shattering
thing, does it? Will?? 

Stop. Think. Shut up. 

?I?m completely confused and all over the place.
You?re having weird power surges. Maybe it?s just
some weird...displaced...stuff.? Well that oughta
completely fuck things up. "Will." Buffy trailed off,
as she saw her best friend struggling, to do what
exactly, she wasn?t sure. Please breathe, Will. She
watched as the witch walked slowly to the bathroom
door then paused and turned back toward her. 

?I?m going to wash my face and change my clothes, then
go see Kennedy,? Willow said evenly, flatly. 

?Will, what I meant...,? the slayer tried again but
the redhead cut her off. 

?Giles is in room 189. Please go.? she said as she
closed the door.


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