FIC: Off Course (6/7)

["Kimber" <kacoe@xxxxxxxxxxx>]

All previous disclaimers apply

Chapter 6


?Buffy, you?re not gonna ?screw up? with me. Don?t you get that by now? I
mean, not too long ago we fought and I?m not just talking about saying mean
things. I?m talking about physically beating each other up. I put you
through so much. . .and still you managed to forgive me, to let me back into
your life and your home. It?s me who?s worried about screwing up with you.?
She sighed. ?I wonder sometimes exactly what it takes for you to not forgive
me.?

The Slayer regarded the redhead before her. Willow?s words struck a chord
deep within her but more than that ? they struck her speechless. How could
she ever think I wouldn?t forgive her? She?s Willow. She reached over and
touched the redhead?s cheek lightly.

Willow settled into the Slayer?s hand without hesitation. Their short but
honest talk gave her just enough reassurance and courage to allow her to be
taken wherever it was they were headed.

?Nothing.? Buffy finally stated. She smiled at the Wicca?s ?huh??
expression. ?Nothing you do could ever be bad enough for me to not be big
with the forgiveness.? She leaned in slowly and chastely kissed her
forehead. ?Nothing.?

The small contact she and Buffy were sharing suddenly wasn?t enough and it
not only excited her it scared her. She?d felt this before, the love coming
though so easily with barely any words spoken. It was familiar and something
she had almost forgotten she was capable of feeling. ?Buffy.? The Wicca
pleaded hoarsely.

?Hmm?? The clueless Slayer kissed her forehead a few more times, unaware of
the feelings she was beginning to stir in the Wicca.

?Buffy.? Willow pleaded again with a bit more urgency. She pulled back in
order to see her face. ?You really don?t get it, do you??

?Will?? She cocked her head to the side. ?Did I do something wrong??

She smiled. ?You did something, Buffy, but it wasn?t wrong.? She cupped the
Slayers face in between her palms and drew her in slowly. Just as it looked
like she was about to brush her lips, she turned Buffy?s face in her hands
and placed small fleeting kisses on her cheek. She continued in this manner
until she reached the Slayer?s collarbone, lingering a bit after suckling
her soft skin.

Her breath caught tight in her throat, the Slayer began to melt and catch on
fire at the same time from the Wicca?s attentive lips.

Willow finally opened her eyes and looked at the Slayer. ?See??

Buffy nodded dumbly. ?Yeah.? She responded and noted the deep timbre that
had suddenly crept into her voice.

In unison, they leaned in and the moment their lips touched, a moan escaped
from the back of Willow?s throat urging the Slayer to wrap her arms around
her waist. Slowly, she reached delicate hands up and entwined them in red
hair cupping the back of the Wicca?s head urging her impossibly closer
still.

It didn?t take long for Willow?s tongue to beg entrance to the Slayer?s
mouth. Slowly she traced the outline of her lips and they parted willingly
allowing Willow even deeper access.

Buffy let out a moan of surprise and arousal as the kiss deepened. She
pulled the Wicca closer, her body begging for even more contact than their
lips were providing.

Breaking their connection slowly, Willow kept her face close to Buffy?s.
?This is usually the part where I wake up.? She whispered.

Buffy nodded in agreement. ?Me too.? She breathed deep noting her ragged
breath as well as Willow?s. ?Or where we get interrupted.?

?Dawnie is sleeping.? Willow kissed her again briefly.

?I talked to Giles already.? Buffy wrapped her arms tighter around her
waist.

?Cell phone??

The Slayer nodded and nuzzled her neck. ?Mmm hmm, the wonders of modern
technology.?

?Are you okay?? The Wicca asked concerned.

Buffy nodded. ?Better than I?ve been in a while actually.?

?I?m sorry.? Willow whispered. ?I mean if I. . .?

?Kissed me so that everything else just faded into oblivion?? The Slayer
smiled. ??Cause last I looked, that wasn?t a bad. Or something to be sorry
for.?

?Pushed.? Willow grinned. ?I was gonna say pushed but, I like your version
better.? She showered Buffy?s cheek with light kisses again.

The Slayer closed her eyes, ?God, Willow.?

?How do you feel?? Willow asked between kisses.

?Like I?m gonna break.? She turned her head slightly finding the Wicca?s
earlobe and began suckling softly. ?But in a good way.? She whispered.
Breaking her trail of kisses from the Wicca?s earlobe she whispered. ?I want
to kiss you again.?

?Not complaining.?

Drawing back then forward, the Slayer closed the gap between their lips
urgently. The sudden pressure made Willow weak in the knees and she wrapped
her arms around the Slayer?s neck.

Moments or minutes or even hours later, she wasn?t sure, the Slayer pulled
back with something close to abject fear on her face. ?Will. I. . .I can?t.?

The Wicca panted trying to catch her breath. Things were going so well, then
suddenly. ?Why. . .Why?d you stop, Buffy? What?s wrong??

?I. . .I just can?t, Will.? The Slayer struggled to compose herself. She
touched Willow?s cheek lightly and ran out the door.

Willow sat down on the bed with a great sigh. She couldn?t understand what
happened in the course of two minutes. The Slayer fled like a scared rabbit.
One moment they were fine and the next she was alone. She rose from the bed
after thinking a while. She remembered what she and Dawn talked about and
her eyes went wide with recognition suddenly. Oh, no Buffy Summers. You?re
not gonna do this again. I deserve you and you deserve me. Time to put that
inner Slayer in a coma. With that, she grabbed her jacket and headed out.
She had a feeling she knew exactly where she?d find the her.

-----

Buffy wandered around the cemetery lost in thought. Even the vampires had
enough sense to not be out this late, so she wasn?t worried about having to
slay. What she was worried about was what had so quickly transpired between
her and her best friend. They were talking then suddenly they were kissing
and then all the air got sucked out of the room. Absently, she reached her
hand up to her lips again. It had to be magic, the Slayer mused to herself.
When she brushed her lips lightly she could still feel and taste the Wicca
lingering there.

Buffy sighed. She found her way to her destination without even thinking
about it. She knelt on the ground and touched the cold marble stone in front
of her. Things were simpler then. Things were so much simpler before she?d
died. She knew right from wrong, the good guys from the bad. Since she?d
been brought back, everything got complicated but she couldn?t blame
anyone ? especially not Willow. She was the only one that was making things
harder and more complex than they really needed to be.

Willow approached silently. She saw the Slayer kneeling in front of her own
grave and sighed. She spoke softly though she knew Buffy was probably aware
of her presence the minute she walked into the cemetery. ?We didn't know
where you were. We saw. . .we saw you jump, saw you fall and then there was
just. You're body. We knew. Even before Giles took your pulse we knew you
were gone. But we didn't know if your soul was, you know, safe. We were. .
.I was so afraid that your soul was in some hell dimension like Angel was.
Suffering some eternal torment just because you saved us and we couldn't, I
couldn?t leave you there. I had to try no matter what the cost.?

Willow moved closer and knelt down next to the Slayer. ?Buffy, if what I did
was so unforgivable that you can?t be with me, I?ll understand. I pulled you
out of heaven. You were happy there and I ruined it.?

The Slayer sat for a long time and thought about what her best friend said.
In truth, she was bitter about them bringing her back ? Willow bringing her
back ? but that was long ago and she?d gotten past all of it. She knew why
she couldn?t give in to what she?d been feeling for the Wicca for some time.
?It?s not you, Will.? The Slayer spoke softly. ?It?s that I?m Buffy. And I
slay vampires. And that?s my job.? She turned to her and smiled sadly. ?It
was my job to die saving the world ? saving you and all of my friends. In
the end, it?s always going to be me and I couldn?t bear to have anything
happen to you ? have anything happen to one more person that I love.?

?Dawnie and I talked about this.? Willow took the Slayer?s hand in her own.
?We came to the conclusion that you?re just being a big stubborn silly
head.? She smiled. ?You don?t have to be alone because you?re the Slayer,
Buffy. Just because you have this destiny doesn?t mean you have to fulfill
it alone.?

?But it does, Will. I know what I have to do now. I?ve known for a really
long time. I could work at the Doublemeat Palace and get my five-year pin,
and the high school counseling teens but I still patrol every night. I still
come home smelling like the un-dead. I?m still the Slayer no matter how
?normal? I try to live the other parts of my life.?

?Now that?s just a bunch of crap.?

Buffy looked at her, confused. ?What??

?All of what you said, it?s total bull. And you know why?? The Wicca rose to
her feet. ?Because you?ve taught yourself to believe it. You want to believe
that you?re destined to face all the evil things alone. You?ve convinced
yourself that you?re job is too dangerous for you to get involved
romantically with anyone. You?ve turned into this selfish ?Oh-it?
s-all-about-me-The-Chosen-one? whiner and I?m tired of it.?

?Will. . .?

?No, Buffy. I?m sick of it. Know what your problem is??

Buffy rose and stood in front of Willow. ?Oh please, psych major, do tell.?

?I-I plan on it! You?re scared of loving because you feel like you can?t.
And when you do, you feel like it?s not enough so then everything just falls
apart. And if you don?t do that, you get into a relationship that?s totally
doomed! Can I just say Spike ? eww! That was you thinking that you didn?t
deserve any better. You punished yourself by getting into a relationship
with him. You deserve so much better, Buffy. Don?t you see that? Don?t you
see that you can be the Slayer and love someone with everything you have
inside you and not have the sky turn black and the heavens fall??

Thunder rolled across the sky and a flash of lightening lit the cemetery up
as if it was the middle of the day. A sudden downpour of rain began.

?That was supposed to be metaphorical!? Willow yelled up at the sky.

?Come on.? Buffy reached for the Wicca?s hand and they ran out of the
cemetery toward home together.