FIC: Off Course (4/7)

["Kimber" <kacoe@xxxxxxxxxxx>]

All previous disclaimers apply.

Chapter 4

They avoided each other for the next week or so. Buffy heading out early to
walk to the high school, getting home before Willow then leaving early for
patrol. Willow would get a ride from Xander to the Magic Box in the morning
then walk home at dusk when she closed so as to miss Buffy leaving for
patrol.

Dawn took notice right away of the situation but decided against getting
involved. That is until she sat in the livingroom one night and watched
Buffy go out the back door and Willow come in the front.

?You can?t do this forever you know.? She stated simply.

?What?? Willow removed her coat and placed it on the chair near the desk.
?What are you talking about Dawnie??

?You and Buffy. You think I haven?t noticed that you?ve been avoidy all
week?? The teen rose from the couch and abandoned the chips and remote
control. ?Mind if I ask what?s going on??

Willow shook her head. ?You wouldn?t understand, Dawnie.? She sighed. ?I don
?t even think we do.?

?I understand that you love each other. I understand that you two haven?t
spoken since the night you came home from. . . ? The younder Summers sighed.
?She was really worried.?

?I know.? The Wicca responded.

?I don?t think you do though.? Dawn took Willow?s hand and led her over to
the couch so they could both sit down. She turned the TV off and turned to
the Wicca. ?See, being the bratty little sister, I know things. I hear
things. Probably a lot of things I?m really not supposed to know or hear in
this lifetime or the next one.? She smiled. ?Buffy?s. . .difficult. You
know? Like, she?s got this whole Slayer thing going on at night and during
the day she?s a councelor at the high school, which, yay for her, I mean,
she?s got some normalcy in her life.? Dawn sighed at the perplexed look
Willow was giving her. ?Willow, no matter how much you or anyone else loves
my sister, it?s not enough.?

?Dawnie, I. . .? Willow?s eyes went wide and she sputtered.

?No, wait. That?s not what I meant.? Dawn shook her head. ?She?s
complicated, Willow. You of all people should know that. And being the
Slayer just makes her that much more complicated. See, my sister thinks she?
s better than us because she?s the Slayer. She thinks it makes her all
superior, but it really doesn?t. I?m sad for her sometimes.?

?Dawn, what do you mean?? Willow was even more confused now than before.

"Will, Buffy's been alone for two years. Know why? Cause she thinks she's
gotta be. It's like a slayery mental block. When Riley left, the slaying
was...well, you saw how she was, right? She was distracted. It was the same
with Angel, too. The part that's her, I dunno, 'Inner Slayer' blames her
slaying problems on her life problems, so it tells her she's better off by
herself, because she's above everyone. But it's wrong. She pushes us away
because she hates not being able to...love like we can, I guess? She doesn't
think she can do that and be the big superhero, ya know?" Dawn rolled her
eyes. "I mean, Spike was her last relationship! How much more 'shallow' can
you get?"

Willow sat back and absorbed everything she and Dawn talked about. ?When did
you get so insightful??

Dawn shrugged and smiled. ?Um, when no one was looking?? She laughed softly.
?Seriously though. She?s closing up again, Willow. And I?m afraid this time
she won?t come back. And I think that you?re the only one who can save her.?

?That?s a tall order, Dawnie. I mean, you?re her sister, Giles is her
watcher. I?m just her best friend, and?

?You?re more than that.? The younger Summers cut her off. ?She knows it, you
know it and if you didn?t, then you wouldn?t be avoiding each other.? She
paused and finished quietly. ?You would have made up by now.?

Willow sighed. She new Dawn was right. Every single word that came out of
the younger Summers? mouth was somewhat of a shock to her. But if she
thought about it long enough, it really wasn?t. It was everything Willow
knew about the Slayer, but never put words to.

?Thanks Dawn.?

?No problem.? She shrugged. ?Now, why don?t you go find her? I know she?s
patrolling the high school tonight.?

Willow stood and nodded. ?I think I just might do that.?

---------------

Buffy was walking around the grounds of Sunnydale High School. In truth she
was more taking a trip down memory lane than looking for vampires. She
rounded the corner and stood in the middle of the courtyard. Smiling to
herself, she walked over to the bench against the wall and took a seat. She
looked around at her surroundings as if suddenly realizing where she was. .
.

?Good thoughts?? Willow remarked softly as she approached the smiling
Slayer. She sat down and nodded. ?Ah, yes. This looks like familiar
territory to me.?

Buffy?s smile faded and she didn?t look at her nor say a word.

?This is the part where I say, ?uh, did you want me to move?? and you
introduce yourself and ask a favor. Am I right??

The Slayer stood and walked away a few paces.

Willow rose and followed her. ?You?re doing it all wrong.? She closed the
gap between them and stood next to her. ?I?m the one that?s supposed to
move. Not you.?

?We?re not kids anymore.? Buffy remarked flatly.

?No, we?re not.? Willow agreed. ?But when things get all jumbley, it?s good
to go back to the beginning. Back to when things were simpler. . .better.?

?We can never go back.?

?No, I guess we can?t. Well, magically we could. . ? She stopped her thought
when Buffy gave her a sideways glance. ?but not really. And we can?t take
anything back either. You can?t take back killing Angel, running away,
losing your mom, jumping off the tower, Riley leaving and getting married,
sleeping with Spike. . .?

?What?s your point, Will?? Buffy cut her off with sharp edge in her voice.

?I can?t take back , restoring Angel?s soul, losing Oz to Veruca, getting
addicted to magic, Tara dying in my arms, killing Warren and Rack, almost
ending the world because I wanted to end my grief.? She paused a moment and
finished quietly. ?And kissing you.?

The Slayer sighed and put more distance between them. ?No, I guess we can?
t.?

?See, that?s the thing, Buffy. I don?t want to.? She walked to where the
Slayer was standing and stood in front of her so there was no place left to
walk away. ?I don?t want to take any of that back. Good, bad, indifferent. .
.it?s a part of me. It makes up who I am. Who you are.?

?Willow. . .?

?That?s right. ?Willow.? And you?re Buffy.? The Wicca smiled at her best
friend. She waited a moment and took a step closer putting her hand out to
touch the Slayer?s shoulder.

Buffy immediately backed away.

?Do I make you nervous?? Willow whispered.

The Slayer sighed. ?Something makes me nervous, but it?s not you.?

?Then what, Buffy??

?I think it?s. . .Us.? She finally whispered and turned away. ?Look Will, I
have to go finish patrolling. I still have to cover the campus and then I?ll
head home to call Giles. Maybe then we can. . .? She turned around to face
the Wicca.

And she was gone.