FIC: Tonight and the Rest of My Life 4/?

[jeepy91@xxxxxxx]

Sorry for the little bit of a delay, I've been so busy lately, and I had a 
bit of a case of writer's block. I like to keep a couple steps ahead of what 
I'm posting so I don't leave you all hanging completely. So my apologies.

Hope you like, and as always, if you have trouble with the formattting, you 
can find it on IKOLY, Near Her Always, and FF.Net

~~~~~~~~~
Author: Casandra
Email: rozwellrulz@xxxxxxx Since my Fanforum account isn't working at the 
moment.
Disclaimer: Well even though the show isn't still inits first run, 
syndication will probably go on for eons, so I guess allthis is still necessary. I of 
course don't own them, because if I did,things would have been a lot more on the 
slashy side of things. Alas,Mutant Enemy, Fox and Joss don't seem to think 
the way I do. Oh well.
Rating: PG-13 for now



Buffy POV

I cannot believe how good it is to feel Willow in my arms again. It seems 
like a lifetime since we've been so physically close with one another. It 
probably was another lifetime ago, at least from my perspective. That just makes 
this so much sweeter. Nothing matters at the moment. She doesn't belong with 
someone else. We're here, together, where we've always been meant to be. 
Nothing has ever felt more perfect.

I see her naturally start to inch closer to me, if that is even possible, 
we're practically melded into one another now as it is. I copy her action, fully 
intending to finally snare those sweet perfect lips with my own for the very 
first time. Just as we're about to come together my eye catches something 
over Willow's shoulder.

"What in the hell!?"

That is just SO not possible! I mean there is just no way in hell that I 
could be seeing what I think I'm seeing.

"Buffy?" I look back up into Willow's incredibly confused gaze and for a 
moment I forget what pulled me away from those luscious lips in the first place. 
But only for a moment. I smile a bit to reassure her that it was nothing she 
did, running the tips of my fingers along her brow, easing her perplexed 
expression as much as I can. As soon as I see her start to calm down, I turn her 
around in my embrace, keeping my hands firmly on her hips.

"Willow, please tell me you're not seeing what I'm seeing." I whisper in her 
ear. As upset as I am I can't help but be completely mellowed by our 
closeness. She just has the most taming effect on me. It's quite ridiculous at 
times. For years she'd go on patrol with me and I'd get into a fight, be all in 
the moment and everything. The second I dusted the vampire and turned back her 
way, I was completely with her. No fight seconds ago. I was completely at 
peace in her presence. And then we stopped patrolling together and that was 
that. I had almost forgotten what that felt like.

"Buff, I don't know what you................oh my god!" Apparently I'm not 
seeing things. And I so wish for once I were. Because that little talk that 
I was going to have with Dawn? Gonna have it right this second. And now I'm 
pissed, because this is taking precedence over Willow smoochies! "Buffy, did 
you know about them?" The 'them' in question is Dawn. And her apparent spit 
swapping partner. None other than Faith.

"I had no clue! I mean I knew she was coming here to see Faith. But I never 
realized how much of Faith she was seeing!" Oh it better not be more than 
what she's seeing now. Because if she's seen more of Faith than what her two 
sizes too small tank top and leather pants are showing right this second, she is 
grounded for the rest of her natural life. 

"Wow, I never would have guessed." Willow leans back into my embrace. It's 
a casual movement, so natural, that I just as naturally move my hands from her 
hips, around her waist and lock my hands together, keeping her firmly in my 
arms. I rest my chin on her shoulder as we continue to unashamedly stare at 
the display going on not more than twenty feet from us. The music has sped up a 
bit again, not as slow as the ballad Willow and I were dancing to moments 
ago. But it's not a hard, fast pace. Faith and Dawn don't seem to notice either 
way though, they're too caught up in each other. Faith has her arms firmly 
wrapped around Dawnie's waist, running her hands gently up and down the lower 
portion of her back. Dawn has her head snuggled against Faith's shoulder, her 
nose seemingly buried in the dark shiny mane of hair that Faith seems to love 
to tease constantly. Willow and I continue to watch them, the familiarity with 
which they seem to dance, the closeness and gentleness of their embrace. I 
wonder how long this has been going on. "I wonder how long they've been 
together?" Willow voices my unasked question. She seems to take it for granted 
that they ARE together, and not just dancing.

"How do you know they're *together* Will, I mean maybe they just decided to 
dance?" Yep, denial isn't just a river in Egypt anymore. 

"Come on Buffy! I mean look at them! They're all with the swoony eyes and 
the gentle touches. Look how close they're dancing together. They have to be 
a couple!" She leaves out the fact that *we* were dancing exactly like them 
not more then five minutes ago. And we're not a couple. Of course I kill my 
own logic with that right there, because I want more than anything to be a 
couple with Willow. Me being in love with her and everything. 

Oh god! Does that mean that Faith and Dawn are in love!?

I can deal with them dancing. Honestly, I'm dealing here. That might just 
be because Willow is standing firmly encased in my arms. But it doesn't 
matter, because I'm dealing. But add in the factor that they might genuinely 
possibly be in love with each other? I'm on a direct flight to Wiggins City. I 
doubt even Willow will be able to calm me if that's really the case. 

"So what are you going to do? Should we go over there and talk to them? Or 
wait until they get home?" Oh yes, wait until they get home so that they can 
do all sorts of very naughty things in the meantime.

"Like hell I'm going to let them keep doing THAT when I can put a stop to 
it!" Yep, I'm putting my foot down. The music has picked up again and the two 
of them are actually drawing an audience, the bumping and grinding is that bad. 
I reluctantly remove myself from Willow's warmth, and start the trek over to 
the, by now, rather large crowd of voyeurs, grabbing Willow's hand in the 
process. As much for her support in what I know is going to be a very unpleasant 
conversation, and the fact that I just can't seem to *not* be in direct 
physical contact with her now. I've had a taste after so many months of starvation 
from it, I don't think I'm ever going to be able to go back to the way things 
were before tonight. 

"Buffy, you're not going to go all Slayer on them are you?" She pulls me to 
a dead stop about 10 feet away from the onlookers. Slayer on them? 

"What are you talking about Will?" She gives me that exasperated little half 
smile thing that she does. Ok, so I think I have a good idea what she means. 
But what does she expect? Just let them go on their merry way causing a 
ruckus at the local gay nightspot, secretly smooching in alleys or something 
just as yucky. No way, Buffy Summers' little sister is not going to be doing 
that.

"Buffy, I know you. You're going to go over there, demand Dawn stop doing 
whatever it is that she is with Faith. And you're going to alienate both of 
them." She cups my cheek in her palm, and I can't help but lean into the warmth. 
"I know you want to protect her. And believe me, if this would have 
happened a few years ago, I'd be right there with you. But Faith is different now, 
we both see it. And maybe Dawn has something to do with that difference? Just 
hear them out, ok? For me?" Well there is no way I can turn that 
proposition down now. She even gave me her patented Willow smile and everything. Damn 
her.

"Fine, I'll hear them out. But no promises about anything else. I want to 
know just what exactly it is that they're doing first and foremost, and then 
we'll take it from there. Does that sound ok?" I always cave to Willow. What 
Willow wants, Willow gets. Or so I'm starting to realize.

"Thank you." She says it so sincerely that I can't help but blush. I turn 
almost purple though when I feel her gently place a delicate kiss on my cheek in 
an even more sincere show of her gratitude. For just a moment I forget what 
it is we're talking about, I just stare back at her in amazement. She smiles 
gently, blushes an adorable shade of pink, and starts tugging me towards our 
original destination. Right, Faith and Dawn. And dancing. And possible 
smoochies. Good to know I can still form coherent thoughts.

By the time we come close enough to the mass surrounding my sister and her 
dance partner, things have started to slow down again, and with the change in 
tempo, the crowd starts to disassemble to either go back to the bar or dance on 
their own. Faith and Dawn are again wrapped around each other like two 
land-bound octopuses. Hands and arms everywhere, I can't tell who's appendages are 
who's. And they're so caught up in one another that they don't even notice 
Willow and I standing two feet away from them.

I finally separate myself from Willow to tap Faith on the shoulder. "Can I 
cut in?" Oh yes, sarcasm. And I haven't even begun. I can just tell how this 
conversation is going to turn out.

"Not with my girl you're not!" Faith practically growls without even looking 
over her shoulder. At least at first. But once she catches sight of Dawn's 
horrified expression, she spins around so fast that I can barely blink. "Shit! 
B, what're you doin' here?" Now that was a pretty stupid question, 
considering I would think that Brian had told her I stop in every once in a while. 
Unless he doesn't realize we know each other? Ok, way too many thoughts running 
around upstairs at the moment. I have to focus on the matter at hand. My 
sister making out with my once arch enemy. Yep, I know now I'm going to fail 
the police force's psych test next month. After all this trauma I think I'll 
have a legitimate excuse. 

"Well I could ask you the same question Faith, but I think I already know the 
answer." For good measure I send Dawn a very hard stare, telling both of 
them in no uncertain terms that I saw just about everything.

"Buffy, it wasn't what you think! Faith and I were just dancing really. She 
had a break from work and I came to visit and we decided to let off some 
steam." Dawn breathes in a lung full of air once she gets all that out. She's 
nervous as hell, because that's the one and only time that she babbles like my 
best friend. "It doesn't mean anything, really!" Faith swung her head back 
around to face her when Dawn mentioned that last part. Hmm, that's interesting.

"So lets see here. Faith and you weren't kissing? Just dancing?" I turn 
around and look at Willow, not aware that sometime during the last two minutes 
she's stepped even closer to me, so now I'm almost nose to nose with her. 
Gotta remember to wear these shoes more often, the heels are just the right size 
to make us almost exactly even in height. I was all set to smirk triumphantly 
back at Dawn when I catch the small look of, honestly, I don't know exactly 
what it is. Willow has a small smile just starting to touch the corner of her 
perfect mouth. And for the moment I'm swept back into the memory of *our* near 
kiss.

"You were spying on us!?" I'm broken from my decidedly non-sister thoughts by 
the screeching howler monkey. 

I mean Dawn. 

I haven't heard her use that tone of voice in so long now that I had almost 
forgotten what it sounded like. I really wish I hadn't been reminded.

Just as I'm about to go on the defensive, Willow lightly touches my arm, 
asking me for silent permission to take over for a second. She knows I'm fast 
approaching my boiling point. I place my hand atop her own that is still resting 
on my forearm, granting her said permission, vaguely noticing Faith taking in 
our close proximity to each other. "Dawnie, we weren't spying on you. Buffy 
and I came here to have a girls night out, and we just happened to notice you 
guys across the dance floor. With the, uh, you know, smoochies." Willow 
didn't happen to mention the fact that we were on a train bound for Smoochville 
ourselves when I got derailed at Faith sucking face with my sister. I should 
kick her ass for disrupting Willow kissage alone. Aww, but Will is so cute 
when she blushes. Which she is doing now. I'm not sure if it's from remembering 
our near miss, or seeing someone she looks at as a little sister, kissing 
someone like Faith. Either reason, it's still adorable.

Dawn looks back and forth between Willow and myself, I assume she's trying to 
make up her mind on whether to lie or not. Before she can answer one way or 
another though, Faith speaks up. "Yeah, we were kissing. What's the matter 
with that B?" Surprisingly, I thought they'd deny it, or try and wiggle their 
way out of it with a lame explanation. I can't say I'm really prepared for 
straight up Faith. 

I think I'll jump onto the end of her little confession though. Might as 
well go with the obvious disapproving parental side of the argument here. "What's 
the matter with that!? Faith, she's 17! And you're..... you're.....you!" 
Yes that was a convincing argument there Buffy. Never mind the fact that you 
were making out with Angel *and* helping him to lose his soul through bed 
bouncies when you were barely Dawn's age.

"And just what the hell does that mean?" Faith is glaring at me, with good 
reason. Or maybe at least *she* thinks it's a good reason. Yes, Willow is 
right, she has changed. Drastically. But I still can't forget everything she did 
to all of us. And who's to say it couldn't just happen all over again. I 
mean it happened once before, and none of us were expecting it. And if that is 
going to happen, I don't want my sister anywhere in the vicinity.

"You know exactly what it means Faith! Who's to say you won't go all psycho 
Slayer again. Only this time, you kidnap Dawn instead of Willow? What is it 
with you going after the people that I love the most, huh?" I hear a small 
gasp come from behind my shoulder and I suddenly realize what I just said. Well 
there's another little revelation for my Will. Gotta keep up those baby 
steps I suppose. I can't take the time to think about *that* particular fallout 
though, because I'm too worried about the ramifications my little diatribe is 
having now. I have to admit, that was a bit harsh. But I've been on 
emotional pins and needles all night. And it's finally starting to get to me. And 
Faith is taking the brunt of it unfortunately.

"Buffy, it's not like that!" Dawn again, seeming to come out of her daze 
because she can sense that Faith is ready to blast off and either deck me, or 
bail. "Faith and I were kissing, yes. But honestly, we were just fooling around, 
it's no big deal." Again Faith swings around to stare at Dawn, this time 
like she's suddenly sprung antlers out of her forehead. This is getting stranger 
and stranger by the minute. At least I can be thankful that the music is 
loud enough that we're not drawing a crowd.

"So you just make out with people for fun? Is that it Dawn?" Oh yes, I can 
play the disapproving parent again. Of course when all your relationships 
have failed and you had an amazing lack of fun during them, it's easy to do that.

"No! I mean, I uh........" Dawn is at a complete loss. At least she's not 
trying to lie, which is a step up from her kleptomania last year.

"Then what the hell is IT?!" Well if that volume didn't draw an audience, 
nothing will. I've lost total patience with the entire thing. I'm standing here 
arguing with my little sister and my sister in arms about something that 
really, shouldn't matter all that much to me. Especially with Willow standing 
pressed up tight against me. I want this over and done with. Now. I have much 
more pressing matters to attend to. Namely getting back to the prospect of 
Willow smoochage.

"I'm in love with her Buffy!" I was wrong, because Faith's voice probably 
projected that little tidbit all the way out to the parking lot. And whoa, she 
said my full name. I can't remember the last time that happened.
Wait a second.......

"WHAT?!"

"Wow....."

"You......you're.....in love? With me?"

She's in love with my little sister! No! This is so not happening. What the 
hell, is it in the freaking water or something?! I mean four of us, that's 
just not possible, is it? But let's get back to the more distressing issue. 
Faith, ex criminal Faith. Want. Take. Have, Faith. Is in love with MY baby sister!

"Buffy, calm down, you look like you're going to pop a blood vessel or 
something." I feel Willow gently rubbing the palm of her hand up and down my back, 
trying to soothe my nerves. I'm not sure it's possible, even for my Will, 
because I'm pretty damn raw right now.

"Faith, did you really mean it?" I unashamedly stare directly at Dawn, who's 
now cupping Faith's cheek gently in her palm, trying to coax the older girl 
into meeting her gaze. I really don't need to be seeing this, it's so not 
helping.

Faith clasps her hand over Dawn's, which is still resting against Faith's 
cheek, rubbing small circles with the pad of her thumb over my sister's knuckles. 
"I mean it baby, I love you, so much." Faith picks up Dawn's hand from the 
side of her face and turns her head, pressing a gentle kiss into her palm. 
Honestly, if I were an outside observer and not one of the participants' legal 
guardians, I'd actually think it was rather sweet. Too bad I'm not an 
outsider. "I never thought I would, that I could, fall in love Dawnie. But I have, 
so damn hard." And not giving any thought whatsoever to the fact that Willow 
and I are still standing right next to them, Dawn reaches up, grabs the back of 
Faith's neck, and pulls her down into a sultry kiss.

My little sister ladies and gentlemen. Ugh.

I turn away from the spectacle, I really have no need to see Faith probing 
Dawnie's mouth with her obviously skillful tongue, if Dawn's small moans are any 
indication. So much for that sex talk. I'm sure with Faith as her tutor she 
knows even more than I do at this point, especially in the lesbian lovin' 
arena. How fair is that? 

"God Faith, I love you too!" Well, she certainly still sounds like a 
teenager, a moony eyed, over the moon in love teenager. Oh man, please tell me I did 
NOT sound like that with Angel. Cause just, ugh. I feel Willow tugging the 
back of my shirt to get me to face her. Apparently I'm still staring at their 
display, which has now turned into a great big bear hug, with Faith's hands 
coming dangerously close to Dawn's ass.

"Buffy, come on, give them some space." Ok, why is Willow playing Devil's 
advocate here? I mean my sister is frenching with Faith! My sister is in love 
with Faith! 

Oh god I think I need to sit down. 

Willow pulls me along by the back of my shirt, as I slowly backpedal across 
the dance floor, reluctantly turning around and giving up my gaze of their 
still heated embrace, as Willow pulls out a bar stool and just about pushes me 
into it. The bartender comes over to take our order, but I'm not really paying 
any attention, I'm still trying to catch a glimpse, trying to make sure that 
they're not actually shedding any articles of clothing out there. With Faith, 
you never can be too certain. Willow looks expectantly at me for I'm guessing 
my drink preference, but honestly, I'm in a bit of a fog here. She turns back 
around to the bartender when I don't offer up anything. "Um, can you do a 
Gravedigger?" He nods his head in the affirmative and goes to the other side of 
the bar to make whatever the hell a Gravedigger is. I find myself gazing up at 
Willow as she's watching the bartender, I guess to make sure he wasn't just 
faking knowledge that he didn't really have. Through all the stress and 
strangeness of the last 15 minutes or so, she looks so serene and calm.

The bartender comes back, with a small glass of something, presumably the 
Gravedigger. "Put it on Faith's tab, ok?" He nods again. Wow, someone more 
monosyllabic than Oz, who knew such a creature existed. Willow takes my hand and 
places the shot glass in it, closing my fingers back around. I guess she 
figures I'm not paying even a small bit of attention to her. Little does she 
know just how much I DO focus on her. "Here Buffy, drink this, it might make you 
feel better." I don't see how really, but anything for my Will. I drain the 
shot glass in one fell swoop. 

Dear God!

"What the hell was THAT!?" I'm barely able to get that out between the 
coughing and sputtering. I don't think I've tasted anything so strong in my life. 
Well maybe that demon's heart Angel fed me when I was telepathic, but this is 
a very close second. It's disturbing really.

"Whiskey and rum. Really strong rum." Willow's rubbing small circles on my 
back, trying to ease the coughing jag her little concoction sent me into. "I 
thought something really strong might clear your head a bit." Or make me 
violently ill. I guess she never thought about the fact I hold my liquor about as 
well as a five year old. "I'm sorry Buff, you just seemed so tense and upset, I 
wanted to calm you down a bit. Guess I wasn't really thinking so much, but 
you were starting to turn a really alarming shade of red watching Dawnie and 
Faith kiss. And well, I guess that wasn't the best idea, bringing it up again. 
But you know, I can see them over your shoulder, and they're not smooching 
anymore, just dancing. Pretty close, but still no smoochies. And would you 
please just shut me up!" I couldn't help but let her go on and on It's been a 
long time since I've seen her babble so much. I think she even broke a sweat 
with that one, because there's a light sheen of perspiration coating her 
forehead. 

"It's ok Will, I appreciate the thought. But I don't think even that thing 
is strong enough to make me forget what just happened." I can really only 
think of one thing that would put Faith and Dawn's little display out of my mind. 
And really, I can't actually tell Willow that. I can just see her face. 
'Yeah Will, the only thing you can do is kiss me senseless, that'll work!'. Yep, 
her fish out of water impersonation would be dead on, I just know it.

"Why don't we just go on home then? Maybe pop a movie in, I have that new 
DVD player, we can fire it up and try it out?" Willow gives me her half puppy 
dog, half five year old on Christmas morning look. Another one of her faces 
I'm completely powerless against. Even though I was looking forward to dancing 
the night away with her, I can't help but let the revelations of the night 
sour my mood a bit. Maybe just going home and vegging is a good idea. I mean 
I'll still be with Willow, just in a much quieter, much more private setting. 
With just the two of us lounging on her bed. 

Suddenly her idea seems brilliant! 

Lying on a bed, Willow's bed, cuddled up, hopefully watching a sappy love 
story. Sounds like absolute bliss to me. I don't know why I thought dancing at 
a crowded club was better. Oh yes, wait, naughty friction. But hey, there 
can be naughty friction on her bed, if I play my cards right that is.

"Sounds great to me Will, I think I could use a little quality one on one 
Willow time." And with that I dismounted the stool and started heading towards 
the exit, pulling Willow by the hand behind me. I fished in the pocket of my 
leather jacket, blindly fumbling around for my valet token. 

"Did we forget?" Willow dangles the little card in front of me between her 
thumb and forefinger. I go to take it from her, but she snatches it back out 
of my reach. "No way Buff, that shot hit you like a ton of bricks, in fact I 
think I saw your eyes roll back into your head for a second there. I'm driving 
home." I want to protest, I really do. But nothing comes out of my mouth. 
Well there's another example of what Willow wanting, she gets. And she's 
right, I *had* forgotten I gave her the token for safe keeping. Huh, must have 
been one of those psychic Slayer things. 

I slide in the passenger seat after the valet brings my car around, agreeably 
handing over my car keys to Willow. "Wow, I expected to have a much harder 
time snagging those keys from you." She pauses before pulling out into 
traffic, turning to look into my eyes, presumably making sure I didn't pass out or am 
about to puke all over the place from the liquor. I just gaze back at her 
tranquilly, surprisingly content for the moment. There's that Willow mellowy 
feeling again. "You sure you're ok?" As much as I really shouldn't, I love it 
when she worries about me. It lets me know she cares. Not that I doubt it, 
but it's nice to be reminded on occasion. 

"Nothing a movie fest with my favorite woman in the whole world." I'm 
beginning to think these baby steps are starting to mirror my size 10's.

TBC...................

A/N: The Gravedigger thing came from apersonal experience a couple of months 
ago when some of my friends tookme out to cheer me up after my breakup with 
my girlfriend. Not funstuff, I think I'm definitely going to stick to the Fuzzy 
Navels.



~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

["Willow's] bond with Buffy is something I find kind of transcendent. Even 
when they're not getting along at all." - Joss Whedon, 'Innocence' commentary