Fic: Of Slayers and Angels part 3/?

["frank_8281" <frank_8281@xxxxxxxxx>]

See Part 1 for disclamer.
Rating: R, for strong adult language.
Please remember feedback is always welcome, either here or thru my e-
mail. Thanks, B.

Part 3


Angel's POV


I'm sitting in the living room watching the fire when I hear her come 
down the hall. Her heart rate is elevated and she's breathing 
heavily. I'm guessing she doesn't want to have this talk any more 
than I do.

"How did you know?" She asks quietly.

"Is Willow going to be okay?" I respond, stalling more than anything 
else.

"Yes, and don't change the subject."

I sigh. "You're not going to make this easy are you?"

"Is there some reason I should, Angel? I loved you more than anything 
or anyone, but I wasn't happy and neither were you." She chuckled and 
then continued; "Well, except for once and we know how that turned 
out don't we?"

"I'm sorry, I didn't know what would happen."

"Well, now you do and I really hope you take the lesson to heart 
Angel. Maybe take a vow of celibacy or something."

"I can't change what happened or what I did, Buffy. All I can do is 
try to make amends." And that's when she snaps.

"Make amends!? AMENDS! Do you really not understand? What you did? To 
my friends? To Giles? To ME? You wanted to know how long Will and I 
have been together Angel? Three months! In all that time Angel, 
Willow and I have held hands, we've kissed, and we've had some pretty 
heavy make-out sessions. But do you know what we've never done Angel? 
We've never made love! And do you know why? It's because I am so 
FUCKED UP over what you did to me!"

All I can do is sit there in stunned silence as she draws a shaky 
breath and continues.

"It's not like I don't want to. And God knows it's not because Willow 
doesn't want to, because I've seen the hurt and confusion in her eyes 
when I back off. It's because in my gut I am so afraid that if I make 
love to Willow that I'll wake up the next day and she'll be gone! 
That the next time I see her she'll be evil! Like you were, because 
whatever happened to you had to be my fault! So if you want to `make 
amends' Angel, you waltz your ass into that kitchen and you `make 
amends' to Willow for turning me into the fucked up neurotic BITCH 
that won't make love to her like she deserves, because I'm afraid if 
I do it'll RUIN her. Just like I ruined YOU!"

I stood up and walked over to her. I really don't know what I thought 
I was doing or what I would have said because as I reach out to Buffy 
Willow bursts into the room, her eyes go coal black and she screams 
at me;

"Don't you TOUCH her!"

I go flying across the room and slam into the wall hard enough to 
crack the stone façade. For the second time tonight I find myself 
face down on the floor. Blackness eats away at the edges of my vision 
until I fall into the pit of unconsciousness.


Willow's POV

I had just finished mixing the stuff for my hand when I heard Buffy 
start shouting. I move down the hallway towards the living room only 
to stop in shock when I realize what Buffy's saying:

"&you waltz your ass into that kitchen and you `make amends' to 
Willow for turning me into the fucked up neurotic BITCH that won't 
make love to her like she deserves, because I'm afraid if I do it'll 
RUIN her. Just like I ruined YOU!"

I hear the pain and self-loathing in her voice and it tears my heart. 
I run the rest of the way and enter the room just in time to see 
Angel reaching for Buffy and something inside me just snaps!

"Don't you TOUCH her!" I scream.

I feel the magicks flare inside me and I just let them loose, pouring 
all my rage at Buffy's pain into Angel. He slams into a wall over 
thirty feet away with a sound like a gunshot! Buffy whirls and stares 
at me with a horrified expression on her face.

"Oh God, Will, you heard?"

"Yes." I said softly.

"Will, I'm so sorry, I never meant for you to hear that." Tears start 
streaming down her cheeks and I take her in my arms and wipe the 
tears away before answering.

"It's good that I did Buffy. Secrets like that are the only things 
that can hurt us. I was beginning to think you were having second 
thoughts about us."

"No Will never, ever, doubt that I love you. This is my problem. I'm 
just sorry that I'm hurting you because of it." she whispers.

"Buffy, look at me." I take her chin and bring her eyes up to meet 
mine. "This is our problem and we'll work through it together."


"Have I told you lately Miss Rosenberg just how much I love you."

"Actually, yes." I say with a grin.

"I did? When?"

"When you reamed out Angel."

At that, she smiles that smile that always makes my knees dizzy.

"Speaking of Angel, remind me never to piss you off Wills."

"Well, I feel kind of bad about that, it's just that when I saw him 
reaching for you I just got so mad."

She glances over at Angel with a sigh and says; "Think we ought to 
move him to his bedroom?"

"I guess we should. Do you think he'll be okay?"

"Strangely, not that worried about him anymore."


Buffy's POV

Oddly enough I really wasn't. Worried about Angel, that is. I guess I 
just really needed to get all that stuff out. I felt a little bad 
about doing it in front of Willow like that, but like she said, 
secrets are the only things that can hurt us. While we were moving 
him we came to a couple of decisions and since they involved Angel we 
waited for him to come to. Finally he rose stiffly to a seated 
position, feeling gingerly of the back of his head.

"How are you feeling?" I ask.

"Like I got hit by a really big truck."

Might as well jump in with both feet; "Will and I have a couple of 
things to tell you before we leave."

"If this is going to be like our last two conversations give me a 
minute to take cover; will you?" He said painfully.

"Well, it shouldn't be physically painful, but Willow and I won't be 
coming back up here anymore."

"Oh."

Will moved up behind me and put her hand on my shoulder. "You don't 
really need us to take care of you anymore and being here is just too 
upsetting. For all of us."

"So, are you going to tell the others about me."

"Yes we are," Will says; "and if I were you I'd stay out of Giles' 
way."

"I'll do my best."

After an awkward moment of silence, "Well, I guess that's about&"

"I have two more things to say." Will interrupts.

"Angel, first, I owe you an apology."

"No, you&"

"It's not about tonight. When you were trying to destroy the world, 
and Buffy had to send you to hell, I was performing the ritual to 
restore your soul. But I was too late, so it's my fault that you were 
tortured for centuries." 

"What do you mean Wills?" I ask.

"If I had been a little faster and restored him before he opened the 
portal, you wouldn't have had to send Angel thru; if I hadn't 
restored his soul before he went there, the Demons in that realm 
would have left him alone. It was his humanity that made him prey for 
them. So any way you look at it, it's my fault."

I got up and took Will in my arms and hugged her.

"No Willow, It's not your fault. Everything that happened then is my 
responsibility. Especially the consequences." I just looked at Angel 
like I'd never seen him before. 

"I don't think either of you understands. I was so jealous of what 
you and Buffy had and could have had again after you had your soul 
back. A little piece of me will always wonder if the magicks didn't 
respond to that jealousy and cause Angel's soul to be restored at the 
worst possible moment."

"Oh Willow, no baby. Going by that logic, if I had just staked him 
when I found out what had happened none of it would have been 
necessary. And because I didn't&" slowly realization of what my 
Willow had just done dawned on me.

"Oh, Willow you are sooo sneaky."

"I try." Will said smugly before continuing "When I first realized 
that Angel being crazy could be my fault I was pretty upset about it, 
but then I figured out that too many other things were beyond my 
control." She took me by the shoulders and shook me gently. "Just 
like they were beyond your control."

Sounding confused, Angel said; "I think I just missed something here 
didn't I?"

"Willow just told me in a very round-a-bout way that what happened 
between you and I wasn't my fault, because there were too many 
circumstances beyond my control." I glance over at Angel. "Or yours."

   He looked thoughtful as he considered what had just been said. 
Then something occurred to me.

"Will?"

"Uh-huh?"

"Didn't you say two more things?" I asked.

"Yes, I did. Angel?" she said to get his attention.

"Yes." he said, looking up.

"If you ever hurt Buffy again, physically or emotionally, I will kill 
you."

She looked at me with a serious expression and said; "A vague 
disclaimer is no ones friend." 

With that she turned and walked out of the room, leaving Angel 
staring after her like she was the scariest thing he had ever seen.

TBC...





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Willow: "It's a good fight, Buffy, and I want in."
Buffy:  "I kinda love you."
                     'Choices'

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