Fic: Within And Without (3/5)

["Jay" <Swanrvr80@xxxxxxx>]

Title: Within And Without

PART THREE

Kennedy eased the door shut behind her, trying not to disturb the 
still house.  She slowly tiptoed up the stairs, glancing back once 
over her shoulder, thinking it was strange that with so many people 
in the house now none of them were up yet.  Finally reaching the top 
step, she almost bumped into Dawn.

"Dawn!" exclaimed Kennedy, trying to keep her voice down.  "Is Buffy 
in her room?  I need to talk to her."

"Nope.  She's not back yet," answered Dawn, moving around Kennedy to 
go downstairs.

"Where did she go?" asked Kennedy.

"Beats me," shrugged Dawn.  "Like she ever tells me what she's up 
to.  Took Spike with her too."

"Spike?  But I thought...oh, never mind.  They're probably looking 
for Willow.  Although it's light out now.  He...they should be back 
already, no?"

"Willow?  Willow's in her room, sleeping," said Dawn, pausing in her 
descent of the stairs.

"What!?" 

Kennedy didn't wait for a response from Dawn.  She almost ran to 
Willow's room and opened the door, peering around it.  Just as Dawn 
had said, Willow was sound asleep in the bed, the covers pulled up to 
her neck.

"See?  Dead to the world," whispered Dawn from behind Kennedy.  
Kennedy blinked and turned to stare at Dawn.

"What?" asked Dawn, her eyebrows narrowing with the question.

"Nothing," replied Kennedy, shaking her head.  "You, um, you think 
the curtains are closed enough?  It's...it's kinda bright outside."

"Yeah, she's fine.  That girl could sleep through anything.  Hey, you 
hungry?  I was about to make some oatmeal and pretzel pancakes," said 
Dawn.

"Huh?  Oh, um, yeah.  Yeah, sounds good," nodded Kennedy, looking 
back at Willow.

"Really?  Wow, most people don't like my recipes!  I'll go get 
started," squeaked Dawn excitedly.

"Be right there," replied Kennedy absently, resting her cheek against 
the door, her eyes not leaving Willow.  She stood there for a moment, 
then glanced back over her shoulder.  The hallway was empty.

Without hesitating, Kennedy crept over to the side of the bed and 
stood there, holding her breath, scared that Willow would awaken yet 
also hoping that she would.  Smiling, she reached down and gently 
brushed a lock of hair away from Willow's forehead.  She ignored fact 
that Willow wasn't breathing, pretending that it didn't bother her.  
Glancing once again at the curtains, satisfied that no sunlight would 
come through, Kennedy walked away and cautiously closed the door, 
casting one last look at the redhead before leaving.

Willow opened her eyes and sat up, letting the covers pool around her 
waist.  She listened to Kennedy's footsteps recede down the hall then 
fell backwards, hands under her head, eyes fixed upon the ceiling.

*****

Yawning, Kennedy made her way down the stairs, slowing as she heard 
voices.  She recognized Xander's voice and as she made her way into 
the kitchen Dawn glared at her.

"You know, you could've told me!" snarled Dawn, struggling to keep 
her voice low.

"Oh.  You mean about Willow," said Kennedy, again yawning.  Dawn 
crossed her arms in front of herself in response.  Xander reached out 
and touched her shoulder but Dawn pulled away.

"Dawn, I told you not to worry about.  It's just another day in 
Sunnydale.  We'll figure this out...or, well, Willow will," shrugged 
Xander.  Dawn stared at him as he removed a plastic container from a 
paper bag and found room for it in the refrigerator.

"Xander...is that what I think it is?" winced Dawn.

"I'm thinking yes.  I just got back from the butcher's.  Buffy called 
me," explained Xander.

"Dawn, I'm sorry.  I haven't slept at all and, and I wasn't thinking 
straight.  I got separated from her and was out looking for her all 
night.  When you told me she was in her room...anyway, I'm sorry," 
shrugged Kennedy.

Dawn slowly and reluctantly lowered her arms.

"Okay," nodded Dawn.  "I, uh, I shouldn't have yelled at you.  Sorry."

"No big,  And hey, I was going to tell you.  Um...before she went to 
bed, did she say anything to you or, or act differently somehow?" 
asked Kennedy.

"Different how?" shrugged Dawn.

"Morning!" announced Willow, briskly walking past a startled Kennedy.

"Will!  You seem to be in a mood of the good," commented Xander.

"I am," smiled Willow, opening the refrigerator.  "Great!  I see that 
you already got my breakfast."

"Um...yeah," answered Xander awkwardly.  "You know, if you want some 
privacy, we could..."

Xander froze as Willow ignored him and held up the cup of blood, 
shutting the refrigerator door with her hip.  She raised the cup to 
her lips and quickly drained the contents without so much as 
blinking.  Licking her lips, she moved past Xander and rinsed the cup 
out in the sink.

"Need some help, Dawnie?  The girls will be getting up soon.  I know, 
you work on breakfast, I'll get lunch started.  There's a chicken 
recipe I wanted to try and I think I need to marinate the meat," 
nodded Willow, again walking over to the fridge.

Xander, Dawn and Kennedy just stood there, staring at her.  Noticing 
the silence, Willow looked back over her shoulder at them.

"Uh, ya know, I got a thing.  To do.  So, I guess I'll go.  Do that 
thing," announced Xander, quickly leaving.  

"Xander?" said Willow.  But Xander didn't look back.

"Tell Buffy I'll call her.  Later, I mean."

Willow stared at him as he left.

"Willow, he's just trying to deal, you know?  I think he's a bit 
frustrated that he can't help," explained Dawn. 

"Whatever," shrugged Willow.  She took several packages of chicken 
out of the refrigerator and Kennedy walked over to her to help.  
Willow turned to face her.

"Wanna help, Kennedy?" asked Willow, holding up the chicken.  "After 
I'm done you can cover these breasts with wax paper."

Willow smiled and, unseen by Dawn, winked at Kennedy.

"Um...maybe later."

Kennedy cringed, thinking about Willow's grin and the fact that Dawn 
was in the room with them.

"I'm really beat.  I think I hear my bed calling me," said Kennedy, 
stiffly turning around and walking away.  Willow shrugged and dropped 
the chicken into the sink.

"Willow, you couldn't have slept much.  Don't you want to go to back 
to bed?" asked Dawn.

"Maybe later.  Right now I'm feeling not so tired," shrugged Willow.  
Dawn just stood there, again staring her.  Willow noticed but Dawn 
didn't look away.

"Dawn, I'll figure this out.  I'm not worried, so you shouldn't be.  
Okay?"

"Sure.  I, uh, I should get started on my pancakes," answered Dawn.

Kennedy caught up to Xander just as he was closing the front door, 
grabbing the doorknob and practically pulling him back inside.

"Xander, wait!" whispered Kennedy.

"What?"

She stood there for a moment, glanced back towards the kitchen, and 
then simply shook her head.

"Nothing," sighed Kennedy.  "Never mind."

"Kennedy," said Xander firmly, making her look up at him.  "She'll be 
fine.  We'll figure this out.  It's what we do."

Xander smiled and Kennedy nodded.  She turned and walked up the 
stairs, leaving Xander standing there for a moment before he again 
closed the door.

*****

Rubbing her eyes, Buffy stifled a yawn as she closed the door behind 
her.  She took a few steps towards the kitchen and then stopped.  
Willow was on the phone.  Normally Buffy would walk away to give her 
best friend some privacy or at least announce herself and try not to 
listen.  But something in Willow's voice, a touch of urgency, made 
her hesitate.

"No...no, I can't.  It's, uh...I can't really...what I mean is it's 
complicated.  I can get there tonight, I promise.  Say right after 
sunset?  Please?  You don't know how important this is to me.  Oh.  
Um, okay, maybe you do.  Seven o'clock?  No, that's fine!  Thank 
you.  Thank you so much."

Willow hung up the phone and Buffy realized how awkward it would be 
if she found her just standing there.  Forcing a smile, Buffy walked 
into the kitchen.

"Hey.  Did someone call?"

"Hey yourself.  Oh, um, no.  Well, actually...yes.  But, um, wrong 
number.  Yeah, it was a wrong number," explained Willow, quickly 
nodding with false enthusiasm.  Until she wiped her eyes, Buffy 
hadn't realized that she had been crying.

"Will, what's wrong?"

"Nothing.  I was cutting an onion.  See?" pointed Willow, glancing 
back at the kitchen counter.

"Oh," nodded Buffy, not believing her and suddenly trying not to 
stare at Willow.  "So.  Howya feeling?"

"Okay.  Kinda tired but I couldn't sleep.  Maybe later," shrugged 
Willow.

"Does Dawn..."

"Yeah.  She knows.  I think the whole Bloody Mary breakfast gave it 
away.  Oh, minus the Mary, of course.  She's not my type," smiled 
Willow.

"Oh!  So, you were able to..."

Willow quickly nodded, silencing Buffy.

"It wasn't so bad," added Willow, seeing Buffy's discomfort with the 
subject.  "Hey!  You must be starving.  Uh...we're kinda between 
meals at the moment, what with the girls out back training and 
all...you want an English muffin to hold you over?"

"Oh, um, no, I'm really not..."

"Come on, it's your favorite.  A little butter and all those nooks 
and crannies..."

Willow paused, tilting her head with a mischievous grin.

"You still like nooks and crannies, don't you?  I mean, it's been a 
while since you had your last muffin," winked Willow.

Buffy smiled, almost blushing.

"Yes to the nooks.  Still undecided on the crannies," laughed Buffy.

"Wow.  You laughed," said Willow solemnly.  She stepped over in front 
of Buffy and put her hands over her shoulders.  "I haven't heard that 
in...anyway, it's nice to hear that again."

Buffy smiled and slowly pulled Willow in with a hug.

"You know, we are alone," whispered Willow suggestively.  "Is there 
anything else in the kitchen that might wet your...appetite?"

Buffy abruptly pulled away, immediately causing Willow to frown.

"No, I'd better...what I mean is...I'm in kind of a hurry. I just 
stopped by to pick up a few things," sighed Buffy.

Willow wouldn't raise her eyes to look at her.

"Will, I'm sorry, but I hafta do this.  I can't get distracted right 
now, there's no time," comforted Buffy.  Willow shifted her weight 
from one foot to the other.

"Again with the distraction," winced Willow softly.

"What?  No!  No, I didn't mean you..."    

"How's Spike?" asked Willow nonchalantly but in a voice that gave 
away her interest.  She finally looked up at Buffy.  Buffy slowly 
exhaled, puffing out her cheeks.  It was her turn to look away.

"I think he'll live.  I'll know in a little while," replied Buffy, 
sneaking a peek at Willow to gauge her reaction.

"Oh," answered Willow, her eyes opening wide.

"Yeah," nodded Buffy.  She took a step forward and took one of 
Willow's hands into her own.  "I'll explain everything.  
Tonight...maybe sooner.  I'll get back here as soon as I can, okay?"

Willow nodded and gave Buffy's hand a quick squeeze.

"Sure."

Buffy almost smiled and leaned in for a kiss but just as suddenly 
pulled away, letting go of Willow's hand at hearing someone's 
footsteps coming down the stairs.

"Will, I..."

"Gotta go," finished Willow.  Buffy pouted but then mouthed the 
words `I love you' before turning to go.

"Buffy, you're home!" announced Dawn, bounding into the kitchen.

"Just for a minute.  Dawn, could you help me?  I need to get some 
stuff together, maybe change my clothes," said Buffy.

"Sure."

Willow, motionless, watched them head for the stairs.  Buffy glanced 
once back over her shoulder with a concerned expression on her face 
then disappeared from sight.  Willow yawned...and then a smile ever 
so slowly spread across her face.

*****

Willow stopped in front of the closed door across from her own room 
and, with one hand on the door knob, listened intently.  Smiling, she 
eased the door silently open.  The shades were drawn, diminishing the 
offensive and now dangerous sunlight.  Kennedy, her breathing slow 
and deep, was mostly hidden under the covers of the bed.

"You can sleep while I drive," whispered Willow, grinning.

She shut the door behind her and locked it.

*****

Kennedy yawned but refused to open her eyes, knowing that if she did 
she would have to look at the clock, which meant knowing what time it 
was and that meant admitting that it was probably time to get up.  
But as long as she kept her eyes closed...

Feeling a chill, Kennedy pulled the sheet up to her neck and suddenly 
realized that being cold is what woke her up.  Did she leave the 
window open?  But that wouldn't matter as it was warm outside.  With 
a sigh she finally opened her eyes and rolled over.  Willow's green 
eyes smiled back at her from the pillow beside her.  Startled, 
Kennedy shot up into a sitting position, her eyes wide open.  Willow 
didn't move but simply smiled back at her.

"Did I wake you?  It's probably my cold feet, huh?" pouted Willow.

"Willow, what...what are you doing here?" stammered Kennedy, suddenly 
noticing Willow's clothes on the floor behind her.  Clad only in her 
T-shirt, she pulled the sheet tighter around herself.

"Just taking a nap.  Like you.  Didn't think you'd mind," answered 
Willow, following her gaze to her clothes on the floor.  "Didn't want 
to get them wrinkled."

"Oh," nodded Kennedy.

"Hey, relax.  I don't bite.  Well, okay, I guess I do but you know 
what I mean," laughed Willow.

Kennedy took a deep breath, her eyes focused on Willow's smile, on 
Willow's lips.  Blinking, she shook her head and looked away.

"I couldn't find you last night.  Where did you go?"

"Came right back here.  I, uh, kinda wigged, ya know?  Sunrise?  Not 
a big fan at the moment," shrugged Willow.

"Okay," nodded Kennedy, pulling her knees up and resting her chin on 
them.  Willow reached for her but she quickly leaned away, causing 
Willow to frown in puzzlement.

"What?" asked Willow, wondering why Kennedy acted like she was 
suddenly afraid of her.

"You came right back.  You, um, you didn't black out again?  You 
didn't, say, get light-headed again?" suggested Kennedy warily.

"No," said Willow, sitting up and pressing the sheet against her 
chest.  "Kennedy, what's this about?"

Kennedy nervously swallowed, her eyes focused on Willow.

"That girl we met.  I found her.  Later, I mean.  She was...she was 
dead."

"What!?" gasped Willow.

"Yeah.  Her neck..."

"And you think I did it!?" shouted Willow.

"No!  No, but..."

"But?" glared Willow.

"Willow, wait.  I don't think you...I just mean that there's 
something inside you now.  If this...thing...took over, took control, 
would you remember?  Would you?" winced Kennedy.

Willow hesitated for a moment, then nodded.

"Yes, I would," said Willow calmly but firmly.  She then smiled 
warmly at Kennedy.  "And thanks for asking.  That couldn't have been 
easy for you."

Kennedy obviously wanted to believe her but there was still a shadow 
of doubt in her smile.

"Kennedy, think about it.  I went in the other direction.  There 
wasn't time for me to..."

"Okay, " interrupted Kennedy.  "I believe you."

"Thanks.  Say, you didn't tell anyone else...did you?"

"No.  I, I couldn't," answered Kennedy quickly.  Too quickly.  Yet 
Willow seemed relieved and nodded her approval.  

"That poor kid," sighed Willow, shaking her head.

"Yeah," agreed Kennedy.  Neither of them spoke and in the silence 
Kennedy slowly realized that she was in bed with Willow.  A Willow 
with no clothes on.  

"Okay, um, you must be exhausted.  Why don't you try to get some 
sleep?" suggested Kennedy awkwardly.

"Hmm.  You know, I couldn't fall asleep before.  I really don't want 
to be alone right now.  Could you stay with me?" asked Willow, 
nudging closer to Kennedy.

"With just this between us?" gulped Kennedy, holding up the sheet.

"Well...you still have your shirt on," smiled Willow.  She slowly 
reached over and touched Kennedy's cheek with her hand.  This time 
Kennedy didn't pull away.

"Willow, I don't think we should..."

Willow ignored her and slowly lowered her hand, her fingers brushing 
against Kennedy's neck, across the top of her shirt, tracing a line 
down to the side of her breast.

"Okay, pardon the phrase but...you're drop dead gorgeous," ventured 
Kennedy, causing Willow to laugh.  Her smile faded when she saw that 
Kennedy still seemed...afraid?  Willow lay down on the pillow, gently 
encouraging Kennedy to do the same.  

"What's wrong?" whispered Willow, her lips almost brushing Kennedy's 
cheek.  Kennedy shrugged and tried not to look into Willow's eyes but 
found she couldn't.

"I don't know," she sighed, shaking her head.  "I can't put my finger 
on it."

"Betcha want to," offered Willow suggestively.  Kennedy almost smiled 
this time.

"Don't...don't make me believe that I have a chance with you, not if 
I don't," winced Kennedy, her voice small.  

"You're here with me now, aren't you?" said Willow, running her 
fingers through Kennedy's hair.

This time Kennedy did smile.  Willow closed her eyes and, lifting the 
sheet, snuggled closer.

"Hold me?" said Willow, phrasing the words as a request and not a 
demand. 

"Mmmm," answered Kennedy, pulling against her.  The coolness of 
Willow's body slowly warmed in their embrace.  Kennedy restrained 
herself, wanting Willow to make the first move this time.  She ran a 
finger across the softness of Willow's shoulder, brushing aside her 
red hair.  Kennedy lifted her head but Willow didn't move.

"Willow?"

Willow didn't respond.  Kennedy rolled her eyes and laughed, 
realizing that she had fallen asleep.  Easing herself away, she 
allowed herself a peek under the sheets at Willow's still form.

"Damn," whispered Kennedy, taking a deep breath and reluctantly 
slipping out of the bed.

END OF PART THREE




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Willow: "It's a good fight, Buffy, and I want in."
Buffy:  "I kinda love you."
                     'Choices'

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