Re: [Fic: Within And Without (4/5)]

[Mad Hamlet <Mad-Hamlet@xxxxxxx>]

Greetings,

> > Title: Within And Without

Wow.

That was good.

By the numbers-

Characterization: Very endearing and accurate. Not only were the characters
themselves well portrayed but the interaction among them was well done;
additionally the insight was dead-bang as well.

Plot: I do confess, I've come to this party late but picking up the pieces as
I've attempted to do I like picture as it is. Compelling and tragic with the
moments of humor spaced about well. A nice portrayal of drama(I mean the
theatrical, or true defintion of the term. Not the 'Blockbuster section where
you'd find 'Titanic' 20th century Moron definition)

Appearence: Another plus. The timing was good as were the description. One
thing I particularly liked was your occasional lack of information. True
detail is not having every crease, line, or color drawn in for us but a fair
amalgamation between what there is in the story and what we, the readers, see
for ourselves. A minor example would be the cup o'blood that Xander brought.
Well decribed but not pounded to death. The 'Major' example that I was most
pleased with was the total removal of the actual lovemaking. There were pieces
of information that gave an inclanation both before and after the act that
gave some insight into what it might have been but as that did not actually
happen we are free to envision for ourselves what the lovemaking itself
consisted off...besides the bleedingly obvious.(I highly doubt, at any time,
did it consist of quick game of Monopoly. Twister...maybe)

Overall: Good enough for me to backtrack this and other pieces you might have
contributed.

Conclusion: Well, there isn't one really. I havn't said...or for the more
literal minded...typed everything I could as the List is a bit touchy about
what can or cannot be mentioned in 'feedback'. The overall product, or story,
is nifty one. That bears repeating- The overall product or story, is a nifty
one. That bears repeating- The overall- ah skip it.

So...now my list of authors that I activly watch for is....

Shyfox
Kirayoshi
Ivy
Jay.

Maybe I'll get off my own overworked ass....

I remain, as always,
Mad-Hamlet


A requirement that literature or art conform to some norm prescribed by an
official smacks of an ideology foreign to our system.
                      William O. Douglas
                      Supreme Court Justice



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                                    -Mad Hamlet



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