FIC: Dark Alliance 2/5

["mike" <wizathogwarts@xxxxxxxxx>]

See Chapter 1 for disclaimers...


Chapter 2


Sad green eyes looked back at the girl standing in front of the 
bathroom mirror.  Set in a face of elvish beauty and framed with 
long soft red hair.  The eyes were sad because the girl was 
contemplating another day just like every other day of her life.  
Another day where nothing happens to stop the emptiness she felt 
inside.  Like a glacier, slowly freezing her from the inside out.

She wondered for the umpteenth time if her childhood friend Xander 
would finally look at her and see something different.  Maybe look 
at her with something more, something like desire, want or even lust.

Yes, she told herself.  She'd settle for lust.  At least it would 
show that she was lust worthy.  That someone would want her even in 
such a base way.

Xander lusted after everthing female, everthing but her.  What does 
that say she asked herself.  She wondered if she was even female.  
Not female, not anything but Willow she thought grumpily.

'That's me alright, Willow Rosenberg, big fat nothing, well... more 
like stick figure nothing Willow Rosenberg.'  The self incrimination 
flowed through her like a death sentence.



-----------------------------

Willow approached the steps leading up to Sunnydale High School and 
immediately spotted Xander coming from the opposite direction on his 
skateboard.  Awkardly weaving in and out of obviously annoyed 
students.  Her thoughts reflected on how she'd come to rely on his 
goffish, gentle ways to ease the longing she felt inside.  A longing 
that she had begun to fill with fantasy.  Romantic, heartwarming 
fantasies of Xander loving her with unbounded devotion.  Fantasies 
that crash onto the rocks of his male adolescent hormones.  Like 
right now, as he picks himself off the ground after crashing into 
the stair railing in front of school.  Crashing becuase all his 
attention was focused on the backside of some new girl.  A new girl 
whose soft curves were highly accentuated by the soft clinging calf 
length skirt that flowed with her movements like a lover's hand.  
Willow shook her head and smiled at Xander's foolishness.

Buffy passed through the entrance of the main building looking for 
the administrative offices.  Her thoughts shifted from her 
disappointment of not being able to wear the tight low cut jeans she 
wanted or even a short skirt because her wound had not fully healed 
yet.  She reminded herself one last time to be grateful that she had 
something that was comfortable to wear that was at least stylish.  
Spotting the administrative offices she felt the butterflies in her 
stomach kick in hoping she wouldn't have to explain her school 
record from Hemry High School.

Willow was getting a drink from the hall fountain after first period 
when she heard a voice that filled her with dread.  Still holding 
her hair back she confirmed the owner of the voice.  Cordelia stood 
there with the new girl by her side.  Willow stood frozen in place, 
willing herself to move before the inevitable flaming.  Not one to 
pass up an opportunity to show her dominance, Cordelia attacked 
before Willow even knew what hit her.

"Willow, glad to see you've found the softer side of Sears."  
Cordelia spoke with a self satisfied smirk on her face.

"My mother picked it out."  Willow offered as her only defense.  She 
quickly glanced at the other girl expecting to see the same 
contemptious enjoyment on her face but was shocked to find just the 
opposite.  Their was no appearance of callous enjoyment at her 
discomfort.  Instead the girl looked shocked at the words coming 
from Cordelia.  She's definitely new thought Willow.  

Willow thinks the new girl is about to say something, maybe even 
something supportive of Willow.  But she doesn't.  Willow locks her 
gaze to the new girl, noticing what a beautiful dark green they are 
and for just a moment she forgets everything.  But the moment passes 
and Willow turns and flees in panic.  At the end of the corridor she 
turns and looks back once more.  The new girl is still watching her 
with those penetrating eyes.  Willow continues her flight overcome 
with confusing emotions.

Buffy was rooted in place after the encounter completely oblivious 
to Cordelia's prattle.  She had felt something click when she had 
unabashedely held the redhead's gaze.  In that brief moment she had 
felt connected and the severing of that connection left her with 
only one thought in her head, Willow.


Willow had gone to a remote area for her lunch so as to avoid Xander 
and Jesse.  She didn't think she could handle their unually inane 
conversations right now  Not while still feeling a bit rattled by 
her encounter earlier.  She was trying to get a hold on her emotions 
and was only vaguely aware of opening her lunch bag.  Her thoughts 
were brought to an ubrupt halt as she heard some one speak.

"Uh, hi, Willow, right?"  Buffy spoke hesitantly and waited for 
Willow to acknowledge her.

Willow was momentarily stunned as she beheld the source of her 
confusion standing two feet away.

"Why?  I...I mean, hi!  Uh, did you want me to move?  Willow warred 
with internal confusion and offered up the standard response of the 
downtrodden.

Buffy's heart ached a little as she heard the traditional response.  

"Why don't we start with, 'Hi, I'm Buffy,' and, uh then let's segue 
directly into me asking you for a favor."

Buffy then moved to sit right next to Willow.  Willow felt frozen in 
place as Buffy approached and any coherent thought stopped as Buffy 
sat next to her.

Buffy put on her friendly face.  "It doesn't involve moving, but it 
does involve hanging out with me for awhile."  She further explained 
her request.

'Good thing.' Willow thought because she didn't think she could move 
even if she had wanted to.  "But aren't you hanging out with 
Cordelia?"

"I can't do both?"  Buffy asked not sure how to respond and the 
confusion clear on her face.

Willow felt compelled to rectify the poor girl's misunderstanding.

"Not legally."  That should clear things up she thought.

Buffy's eyes captured Willow's and she exhaled slowly.

Look, I really wanna get by here, new school, and... Cordelia's been 
really nice... to me... but we both know she's a bitch.  Anyway, I 
kinda have this burning desire not to flunk all my classes, and I 
heard a rumor that you were the person to talk to if I wanted to get 
caught up."

Willow flushed at hearing Buffy call Cordelia a bitch.  Mostly 
because of how strange it was to hear her own feelings spoken out 
loud.  But she quickly focused on the rest of Buffy's request.

"Oh, I could totally help you out!  Uh, I have sixth period free, we 
could meet in the library?"  Willow spoke excitedely at the prospect 
of helping Buffy.

Buffy hesitated, a worried look on her face.

"Or not.  Or we could meet and go to my place where we won't be 
interrupted.  That is if you don't already have plans?"

Willow was momentarily stumped.  She had no plans but it was the 
first time that anyone had ever asked her.  The  simple 
consideration made her feel incredible.  A glow she wanted to savor 
but she also didn't want to keep Buffy waiting for an answer.

But Buffy had already become concerned as she watched Willow's face 
wondering what was causing Willow such conflict.

"Uh, Willow.  If I'm messing up any plans you have, it's OK.  We can 
maybe schedule something later?"

Willow jerked herself out of her reverie forcibly.  "Oh no!  No 
plans.  Maybe later this evening but after school at your place is 
fine, better than fine.  The not being interrupted is probably a 
good idea.  So, not a problem.  Nope, no problem at all."

Buffy smiled warmly in appreciation.  Her smile produced an 
answering one from Willow.  Buffy felt herself freeze, completely 
captivated by the warmth and beauty of Willow's face lit up by her 
smile.

"You have the most beautiful smile."  Buffy thought not realizing 
that she had spoken out loud until the surprise on Willow's face 
clued her in.

"Whoops.  Did I say that out loud?"  Buffy asked meekly.

Willow was completely taken aback.  Years of being teased and tricks 
played upon her immediately caused her to be suspicious.  No one had 
ever been this nice and considerate to her.  She decided to respond 
cautiously.

"Uh, yea, you did."

Buffy considered how to mitigate any confusion from her blunder, not 
wanting the beautiful girl to think she was hitting on her.  At 
least she hadn't been consciously hitting on her Buffy told herself.

"Well, I'm not going to apologize for saying something that's true.  
And once the cat's out of the bag, it just won't go back in.  But if 
I made you feel uncomfortable, then I am sorry."

Willow turned the words over in her mind and couldn't detect any 
falsehood.  Only the strangness of hearing things like this said to 
her.  Xander had on occasion been supportive but most of the time 
was clueless and had never paid her anything close to a complement.  
He even treated her academic achievements as something that just 
wasn't mentioned.  Willow decided to take a chance because she 
suddenly realized she really wanted to believe.

"No, you didn't make me uncomfortable.  It's just that anytime in 
the past when someone has tried being friendly to me it turns out to 
be a setup for a practical joke.  Always at my expense.  So I'm just 
a little cautious."

Buffy's face fell, knowing the cruelty kids heaped on those they saw 
as weaker or different.  She chose her next words very carefully 
hoping Willow would find her sincere.

"Willow, I don't know what happened to make you feel this way but I 
can imagine.  And I understand why you think I would lie.  But I'm 
going to make something perfectly clear to you right now.  I don't 
lie.  At least not too people I c... not to my friends.  And you are 
my friend, at least I hope you are.  I may hide some things, things 
I can't talk about, but if you are my friend, I will never lie to 
you."

Willow felt herself truely wanting to believe now.  The possibility 
of a female friend, something she had only briefly experineced once 
before in her life, was something that she had craved.  A friend who 
could understand her perspective.  Not a friend who took her for 
granted.

"Yes, friends.  I want to be your friend and I would very much like 
you to be mine... uh, friend that is, my friend."

Willow barely caught the catch in Buffy's breath as she finished 
speaking but was certain that Buffy was pleased with her affirmation.

"So Buffy, have you been to the library to get your books yet?"

Buffy smirked at the memory of meeting the librarian earlier and 
discovering him to be her new watcher.

"Oh yea, had that fun already."  She said with a slight chuckle.

"What did you think of the new librarian, Mr. Giles.  Isn't he 
great.  All stiffly British and oh so proper.  I think he was a 
curator at the British museum or even the Curator of the British 
museum.  And he brought all these neat old books with him."  
Willow's enthusiasm died as she saw Buffy's face turn placid.  "And 
am I not the single most boring person in the world?"  She finished 
dejectedly.

"No, not at all.  I..."  Buffy caught herself before she said 
anything else to scare her new friend away.  "I think you sound like 
just what I need in a friend.  A real friend, not like that phony 
stuff Cordelia puts on."

Willow's relieved and grateful expression calmed Buffy's anxious 
nerves.

"So, we'll meet after school and walk to your house."  Willow 
confirmed their arrangment.

Buffy couldn't resist her answer.  But kept her voice casual so as 
not to spook Willow again.

"It's a date."

--------------------------------------------


Willow was nearly staggering with laughter as she and Buffy walked 
up the steps to Buffy's house.  Buffy had just finished regaling her 
with the story of how Buffy and her friends at Hemry had planned a 
dance with an environmental theme.  Buffy's ability to even poke fun 
at her own lame suggestions was the final straw that had Willow 
nearly stumble from laughing so hard.  For Buffy's part, she was 
grinning from ear to ear, pleased with herself for making her new 
friend laugh so much.

"Oh god, Buffy.  I'll never be able to pass a 'don't walk on the 
grass' sign again without without laughing myself silly."  Willow 
finally choked back her laughter and wiped her eyes which had teared 
from her mirth.

Buffy opened her front door, moving to the side to allow Willow to 
enter.

"Mom, I'm home!"  Buffy called out.

Coming from the kitchen Joyce not knowing Buffy wasn't alone 
responded with the the formost question on her mind.  "Hi honey, 
how's your le..."  Joyce caught herself abruptly as she noticed the 
slim redhead by her daughters side.

"Mom, this is Willow.  She's kindly agreed to help me get caught up 
on my classes.  Willow, this is my mom."  Buffy quickly stepped in 
to cover her mom's abruptly halted question.

"Hello Mrs. Summers."  Willow said politely.

"It's a pleasure to meet you Willow.  And thank you so much for 
helping Buffy."  Joyce paused, noticing the way her daughter was 
watching Willow.  "Would you like to stay for dinner?  We'd love to 
have you."  Joyce offered with a warm smile.

"Oh, I don't want to be any trouble."  Willow offered, really 
wanting to stay but lacking the confidence to just say so.

"Well it's no trouble at all, is it Buffy."  Joyce looked at Buffy 
with a knowing smile and gave her a quick wink.

Buffy's eyes widened as she caught on to where her mothers thoughts 
were going but made a quick recovery.

"Nope, no problem at all.  And mom's a great cook.  Please say 
you'll stay."  Buffy finished imploringly while reaching out to 
lightly touch Willow's arm just above her elbow.

A slight tingle went up her arm as Buffy's fingers came in contact 
causing Willow to catch her breath slightly.  But she was happily 
cornered since it would now be rude to turn down the invitation.

"OK, as long as I won't be a bother.  Thank you very much Mrs. 
Summers."  Then looking down at where Buffy was still touching her 
arm she slowly raised her eyes to Buffy's.  "Thank you Buffy."

Buffy felt the connection again as Willow's eyes locked with hers.  
She threw caution to the winds as she stepped forward and put her 
arms around Willow in a comforting embrace.

"You're very welcome."  Buffy whispered into her ear while taking a 
moment to enhale the sweet smell of Willow's hair.

Willow hugged Buffy back automatically but once her arms were fully 
around her and she felt Buffy's warm breath on the side of her face 
she began to feel strange inside.  Willow had always appreciated 
hugs, except from her uncle Morris, because no matter who he hugged 
he acted as though he was wrestling a bear. Buffy's spontaniety 
surprised her a bit.  She had never received a hug so soon from a 
new friend, not that she had that many friends.  But just before 
Buffy released her, something about the way Buffy was holding her 
made her feel slightly uncomfortable.  Not that the hug was 
physically uncomfortable, because it wasn't.  It was a nice firm 
hug.  There was just some nuance she couldn't quite identify that 
made it feel different from how anyone had ever hugged her before.  
That's what felt uncomfortable.  Willow felt torn.  She had already 
decided she liked Buffy and was thrilled to have her as a friend.  
So why would a simple hug make her uncomfortable?  She was brought 
out of these thoughts when Buffy turned and asked her to follow her 
up to Buffy's room.

"Right behind you."  Willow replied shaking her head slightly to 
clear her head.

Joyce had caught the change of expressions on Willow's face and 
couldn't help but frown.  As she watched the girls walk up the 
stairs she couldn't help but feel that her daughter was going to get 
her heart broken.  And that frightened her more than she could say.  
Her primary concern was Buffy's happiness and safety.  And a broken 
heart could make her daughter careless.  Buffy hadn't been careless 
last night and still recieved a wound.  She didn't want to think 
what would have happened if Buffy had a similiar encounter after 
putting her heart out and having it rejected.  'It's time for a 
little mother/daughter talk' she told herself as she went back to 
preparing dinner.

The last dishes were washed and put away when Buffy turned to her 
mother.

"Mom, Willow asked me if I wanted to go to this place called the 
Bronze.  It's kinda the teen hangout around here."  Buffy looked 
over her shoulder to make sure Willow was still in the other room 
and couldn't hear as she lowered her voice.  "And I thought it would 
be a good idea to check it out for vamp activity.  I'll only stay 
about an hour then make sure Willow gets home safely.  I should be 
home by nine at the latest."

Joyce looked into her daughter's pleading face and let out a soft 
sigh.  Memories of how attentive Buffy had been to Willow during 
dinner still fresh.

"Buffy, come out to the back porch with me.  We need a little 
talk."  Joyce turned towards the back door missing the look of panic 
on Buffy's face.

Joyce sat down on the back step waiting for Buffy to join her.  She 
heard the door close quietly and felt Buffy sit down next to her 
before she began.

"Buffy, Willow is a very attractive girl and..."

"ATTRACTIVE, God mom. She's gorgeous!  And if you could see her 
smile, well it just lights you up inside and makes everything melt 
away."  Buffy strained to keep her voice low but her emotions were 
running pretty high.

"That's just it Buffy.  You just met her and you're already 
smitten."  Joyce turned to Buffy before continuing.  "Do you even 
know if she's gay?"  She asked Buffy slowly, drawing out each word 
for emphasis.

"Smitten mom?"  Buffy chuckled trying to deemphasize her mother's 
concern and trying to ignore her question.

"Come on Buffy.  Don't blow me off."  Joyce was forceful with her 
words trying to convey how important this was.

Buffy let out a big breath.  "No, I don't know if she's gay.  But 
when she looks at me I feel this connection.  And I just know 
there's something there."

"Ok, just for arguments sake, lets say she's gay.  But does she know 
she's gay?"  Joyce was meeting Buffy half way just to get her to 
talk about it.

"No, I don't think she knows."  Buffy dropped her head after her 
admission.  Suddenly feeling a moment of despair.

"Either way Buffy, you're going to have to take it slow.  Just be 
her friend.  If you start coming on to her you'll scare her off.  
And if she is gay but just hasn't had the opportunity to explore her 
sexuality then the best thing is for you to just be the best friend 
you can be.  And you can start by letting her know that you're 
gay."  Joyce watched her daughter's shocked expression and put her 
arm around her in a show of support.

"Buffy, think about it.  If you're honest with her and let her know 
right away that you're gay, she's going to do one of two things.  
Either she'll remain your friend or avoid you.  If she's straight 
and she avoids you then you know she doesn't have what it takes to 
be a real friend and you can move on.  But if she sticks with you 
then you know you've got a friend you can trust.  On the other hand, 
if she's gay but hasn't realized it yet, then you've created a 
catalyst to get her to start thinking.  And even if she avoids you 
for now, it doesn't mean she won't eventually come around after she 
figures things out."  Joyce gave Buffy's shoulders a gentle squeeze 
of encouragement.

Buffy laid her head on her mother's shoulder realizing she couldn't 
argue with her logic.  Telling Willow still scared her silly but she 
knew her mom was right.  "Ok mom, I sucumb to your many years of 
wisdom."  Buffy conceded with the little dig.

"Hrrmph.  Then your 'Old lady' says I'll expect you home by nine."  
Joyce responded with gruff humor.

Willow had just finished reading the English lit requirement for 
three weeks away when she heard a door close and the sound of Buffy 
and her mother coming towards the living room.

"You all ready?"  Buffy asked as she entered the room followed by 
her mother.

"Yep, all done. Uh, so are you coming to the Bronze?"  Willow asked 
quickly looking at Joyce for her reaction.

"Yea, count me in.  I just have to be home by nine."  Buffy looked 
at her mother with a smirk.  "If I'm not she's going to make me wear 
the damn chastity belt for a month."  Buffy teased her mother.

"Lotta good it would do since you figured out how to pick the 
lock."  Joyce kidded her right back.

Willow's mouth hung open as she just stared at the mother and 
daughter kibitzing each other.  She couldn't imagine having such an 
exchange with her mother.  The very thought caused her heart to 
flutter.

"Wow, you guys are so cool together.  My mom would have a coronary 
if I ever said anything like that to her.  Then again she'd have to 
be around for me to say something like that to her.  And she'd have 
to put a curfew on me but since she never know's I'm around even 
when I am that wouldn't happen either. But even if she did, I'd just 
do what she says cause that's what I do at least I think I would 
it's just that it's never come up before and not likely to either."  
Willow cut herself off as she noticed the looks of amazed amusement 
on the two faces staring at her raptly.

"Oh, sorry, I've kinda been known to babble."  Willow hung her head 
in embarrasement.

Buffy's impulse was to leap forward and pull Willow into a 
comforting hug but stopped as she felt her mother's restraining hand 
on her arm.  Looking at her mother, Joyce winked back at her and 
moved forward herself.  Putting her arm around Willow's shoulder in 
a comforting manner.

"Nothing to be embarrased about Willow.  It was actually quite 
amazing and I think I speak for both of us when I say we look 
forward to the next time you grace us with such a wonderful display 
of breath control and oration."  Joyce assured her with a caring 
tone.

"Now you two go have some fun but not too much.  And Willow, I hope 
to see you soon."  Joyce said releasing the girl and allowing them 
to move towards the door.

Willow turned just before leaving.  "Thank you Mrs. Summers, for 
dinner and uh... well thanks!"  Willow beamed at her with a grateful 
smile.

As the door closed behind the girls Joyce spoke to Buffy knowing she 
wouldn't be heard.  "You're right Buffy.  She is beautiful.  And 
that smile...Oh baby, you're in trouble."  Joyce turned hoping 
Willow wouldn't just reject Buffy out of hand.  'I really like that 
girl' Joyce thought to herself as she moved towards the pile of 
paperwork she need to get through for the new gallery.

The sun had set just as Buffy and Willow entered the night club. 
Still somewhat early, they had no trouble finding a couple of seats 
after getting themselves something to drink.

Buffy considered what her mother had told her but decided she just 
couldn't blurt it out.  'So not cool' she thought.  She decided to 
do the best friend thing and start by asking Willow about herself.

"So tell me.  What have you got going on in your life right now.  
Your friends, enemies and...any love interests.  Spill, I want to 
know all."  Buffy encouraged.

"Oh, you want to know about me?"  Willow asked thinking how she'd 
explain how she only had two friends, both guys who thought of her 
as just one of the guys.  And how one of them was a love interest 
but of the one way street type.

"Yea I want to know about you.  You're my first friend and first 
friends usually become best friends.  So go for it, dump on me.  
That's what best friends are for."  Buffy told her sincerely.

"Oh, OK.  Well friends are Xander and Jesse.  I've know Xander since 
kindergarten and Jesse almost as long.  Xander and Jesse do all the 
guy things together and usually include me 'cause they think of me 
as just one of the guys."  Willow let a little anger show in her 
voice with the last admission.

Buffy's instinct was to interrupt and say something but she caught 
herself before she did.  'You're being a best friend, so just listen 
and be attentive' she told herself.

Willow had paused, expecting Buffy to say something but when only 
seeing an interested and attentive face looking back at her she 
bowed her head and continued.

"Enemies are Cordelia and her flock.  Harmony is probably the worst 
after Cordy.  And what hurts about that is that Harmony has the 
brains of a baboon.  And that's an insult to baboon's everywhere!"  
Willow wanted to stop but finally being able to get out everthing 
that bothered her to someone who was actually listening was 
liberating.  But she didn't know how to explain the love interest 
part so she just hung her head and remained quiet.

Finally Buffy spoke, but only to encouraged Willow to 
continue.  "What about love interests?"

"Woooo, none, nada, zip, big fat zero in that department.  I've 
never had a boyfriend and no one has ever shown any interest in me.  
Probably 'cause I can't talk to boys.  I make a few vowel sounds and 
then I have to leave."  Willow finally replied deciding to keep it 
safe.

Buffy finally couldn't help herself.  And she did nothing to hide 
the disdain she felt.  "The boys in this town must be really lame if 
you've never been asked out."

"No, well yes, they are kinda lame but I can't blame them.  They all 
want to go out with pretty girls.  Not flat as a board stick figures 
whose mother buys all her clothes for her."  Willow's voice evoked 
years of lonliness and it broke Buffy's heart.

"Willow, I'll admit that your clothes do nothing for you but even so 
I noticed how pretty you are inspite of them."  Buffy couldn't help 
herself from trying to bolster the poor girl's severly deflated ego.

Willow gave a weak smile at Buffy's attempt to make her feel 
better.  Not that she believed Buffy but because Buffy tried to make 
her feel better.  Just like a best friend would.  She started to 
think this best friend thing could really work out.

"Thanks Buffy, but enough about me right now.  How about you?  I met 
your mom and she is great.  What about your dad?  And then tell me 
about where you came from and how you came to be here."  Willow 
turned all her attention to Buffy hoping to divert the conversation 
from her miserable life.

"You really want to hear this?  Everything?  Cause once you hear 
this you're probably going to want to run away from me as fast as 
you can."  Buffy asked, hoping that Willow would give her a reprieve.

"Best friends Buffy.  I'm not going to run away, uh unless you kill 
baby's or kittens.  But short of that nothing you say could make me 
run away.  Give me your worst."  Willow said now more interested 
than before to hear what could be so awful that Buffy would think 
she would want to run away from her.

"Ok, here it comes.  The not ready for prime time Buffy."  Buffy 
took a big breath before continuing.

"Nope, no baby's or kittens or anything like that.  My mom is great, 
in fact she's the greatest.  Because of her it made it a little 
easier when dad left."  Buffy glanced at Willow to see her reaction 
but detected nothing but interest.

"They started having problems when I was in sixth grade.  It slowly 
escalated during junior high.  Dad was being a real ass and I 
started to think it was because of me."  Buffy paused, unsure of how 
to proceed.

"Why would you think it was because of you?"  Willow encouraged her 
to continue.

Well here goes Buffy thought.  "I thought he had found out about 
me.  That he had figured out that I was..."  Buffy's voice dropped 
very low, so low that Willow had to lean forward to hear her.  "that 
I was interested in girls."  Once said Buffy continued in a more 
normal voice but without looking at Willow.  She could tell Willow 
was still sitting next to her so she continued.

"I thought he was angry because he couldn't deal with a daughter who 
was gay.  And the more they fought the more convinced I became that 
I was the cause.  Mom didn't know what was going on with me, just 
that I started to behave like a juvenile delinquent.  When I started 
high school, I decided to try and be the straight popular girl that 
I thought my dad wanted.  I went out with boys, became a cheerleader 
and my friends were all the popular beautiful people.  Well 
something bad happened and because I was so busy tring to be 
something I wasn't I wound up in a bad situation.  I burned down the 
school gym and was expelled from the LA school district.  Dad left 
and mom moved us here.  The only school district that would take 
me.  Mom told me later that dad leaving had nothing to do with me.  
He had been as clueless about me being gay as she was."  Buffy 
finally looked up at Willow expecting to see a face contorted in 
disgust.

Willow had been listening raptly to Buffy's story.  She was a little 
surprised about the gay thing but quickly realized it didn't bother 
her.  What bothered her was the pain Buffy must have experienced 
going through this revelation and feeling that it was the cause of 
her parents marital problems.  And her curiosity was definitely 
aroused hearing that Buffy had burned down a gym.  'Why would she 
burn down a gym?'  she mused.  But as Willow watched Buffy's face 
slowly turn in her direction she let all the care and concern she 
felt for Buffy's predicament show on her face.

Buffy was amazed.  Willow was still here and not because she was 
rooted to her seat in shock.  There was no condemnation looking back 
at her.  Only kindness and a warm, gentle smile.  Buffy took a big 
breath.

"Well so now you know."  Buffy said to finish her trip down the 
memory lane of hell.  She had left a lot out, but they were things 
she couldn't reveal.  Slayer things.  And she knew if she had 
revealed everything, Willow would be convinced she was a raving 
lunatic.

"Except for why did you burn down a gym?"  Willow couldn't contain 
her curiosity.

"I just tell you I'm gay and you want to know why I burned down a 
gym."  Buffy couldn't help but chuckle.

"Well yea, there's a lot of gay people though you're the first one 
I've met, well at least the first one I've known about, but I'll 
probably never meet anyone who's burned down a school gym.  Come on, 
did you really hate gym class that much?"  Willow nudged her and 
smiled.

Buffy couldn't help herself.  She began to laugh.  Out of relief, 
humor and just the pure amazement of her wonderful new friend.  She 
knew then that even if Willow was straight, she wanted her as a 
friend.  A best friend.

Willow began to laugh with her but once they got themselves under 
control again, Buffy turned serious in order to answer Willow's 
question.

"Remember when I said I would never lie to you but sometimes there 
are things I just can't talk about?  Well this is one of those."  
Buffy explained hoping that Willow wouldn't feel hurt.

"Ok Buffy. Keep your secrets and I'll keep mine."  Willow replied in 
mock hurt but Buffy suspected there was a hint of real hurt there.

"Honestly Willow.  It's not that I don't want to tell you, it's that 
I can't."  Buffy tried to mitigate the perceived disappointment.

"I'ts ok Buffy.  I understand, well not really since you can't tell 
me.  But I do believe you'd tell me if you could and I'm fine with 
that." Willow reassured her and smiled.

"Thanks, I really appreciate that."  Buffy returned her smile.

Before anything else could be said Buffy felt a presence and without 
thinking she held her hand up for Willow to be quiet.  Quickly 
focusing she identified the location of the vampire and turned her 
predatory gaze in it's direction.

Walking in her direction was a tall, dark haired man all in black 
except for a white t-shirt.  She slowly let slip the stake that she 
had up the sleeve of her jacket until it was firmly nestled in the 
palm of her hand.  Keeping her hands hidden under the table top she 
watched the vamp's slow approach.  She was trying to figure out how 
to take this outside because she definitley didn't want to dust a 
vamp with Willow looking on.  As she considered her options, the 
vamp halted at the other side of their table.  

"Can I talk to you, Uh...in private?"  He asked Buffy, only giving 
Willow a quick glance.

"Why, do I know you?"  Buffy tried to keep her tone casual.

"Uh no.  But I know you.  You were pointed out to me in LA."  He 
spoke hesitantly, again glancing at Willow as if trying to determine 
what her involvemnt was.

"Oh really, anyone I know?"  Buffy asked him to clarify.

"Probably not but his name is Whistler.  He works for the ptb."  He 
said and once again glanced nervously at Willow then looked 
pleadingly at Buffy.

"Look, I'm not here to cause trouble. I uhh...don't bite or 
anything." He raised his eyebrows hoping to convey the silent 
message.  "I'm here to help and I have some information for you.  
But it's private, for your ears only."

Buffy considered for a moment.  This was the most unusual vamp 
encounter she'd ever had.  Going outside with him could mean a trap, 
but once outside she could disappear into the shadows.  Her problem 
was solved when Willow spoke up.

"Buffy, why don't you hear what he has to say while I go to the 
restroom."  She said while standing and laying a reassuring hand on 
Buffy's shoulder.

Buffy looked up at her and expressed her gratitude.  "Thanks Will."

Willow smiled reassuringly and then turned a concerned face to the 
mysterious man across the table.  "I'll be back shortly."  She 
warned.

Once Willow was out of earshot, the vampire took a chair and seated 
himself across from Buffy who still had a firm grip on her stake 
under the table.

"Ok, vamp.  You know who I am and I know what you are.  So tell me 
why you want to help a vampire slayer."  Buffy spat out cynically.

"I'm here to tell you that the Harvest is coming.  You need to be 
ready for it."  He said ominously.

"Ok, what's the Harvest, when is it and how do I prepare?"  Buffy 
asked, hating cryptic messages.

The vampire smiled mysteriously.  "You're standing at the mouth of 
hell and if you're not ready, it will swallow you."

"You know, this is sounding more like a threat than information.  
How about we go outside and I dust your sorry ass?"  Buffy's anger 
was getting the better of her.  The vamp was putting out a vibe that 
was making her really uncomfortable.

The vampire smirked at her, showing the typical arrogance of an 
older, more mature vampire.  "You're going to need all the help you 
can get to survive this year."  

Buffy's feeling that the vamp was putting out some kind of vibe that 
was pissing her off was just getting stronger.  "Look, asshole.  
You're no help giving me vague messages and cryptic threats.  Either 
tell me everything you know or you'll be dust before dawn.  Because 
so far you've been no help at all."  Buffy paused as she watched his 
smirk turn to a frown.  "And are you doing something.  Like some 
vamp kinda of whammy stuff.  Because if you are you really suck at 
it."

The vampires frown turned to a look of surprise.  A moment later he 
composed himself and Buffy immediately felt the vibe disappear and 
her anger began to dissipate and then renew as she had her answer.

"You were!  What the hell do you think you were doing?"  Buffy 
glared at him.

He smiled almost sheepishly, she was sure he'd be blushing in 
embarrassment if he physically could.  

"Older vampires can project emotions and sometimes a controlling 
influence.  I was projecting something that should have made you 
attracted to me.  I was doing it to get you to trust me."  He 
shrugged in explanation.

"Well just cool it Don Juan.  That won't work on me, unless you were 
a female vamp that is."  Buffy raised her eyebrows.

"Oh.  Sorry, my mistake."  He apologized contritely, surprise 
clearly written on his face.

"But you can still gain my trust.  All you have to do is tell me 
what you know and leave out all the cryptic nonsense."  Buffy said 
to get him back on track.

"Yea, well I was told not to tell you more than necessary but I 
guess it's necessary now.  The harvest is where a master vampire can 
designate one of his children to go out and feed for him.  Every 
victim this vessel feeds upon gives the master more power.  Now this 
master needs this power because years ago he tried to open the hell 
mouth but something went wrong and he got stuck in a mystical 
prison.  But with enough power from the vessel, he can break out.  
As for when, the harvest occurs once every 100 years.  The next time 
it can occur is tomorrow night."  The vampire finished and fell 
silent.

Buffy considered the information and quickly had a few 
questions.  "Will he send this vessel out by himself?"

Shaking his head the vampire answered.  "No, he'll send as many of 
his childred as he can to help the vessel gather victims."

Buffy frowned before asking her next question.  "Do you know how 
many he has?"

"Well as of last Friday I think there were about forty."  He offered 
the bad news but was immediately put off by the smile that spread 
across the Slayer's face.

"Then that means he only has seven left."  She said softly.

The vampire couldn't believe what he just heard.  "How can you know 
he only has seven left?"

Buffy couldn't help the gloating look on her face as she told 
him.  "Because I dusted nine on Saturday and twenty-four last 
night.  And according to my math thirty-three from forty equals 
seven."

"By the way, what's your name?"  Buffy asked him while he stared at 
her in disbelief.

"Uh, Angel"  He said quietly, not quite over the surprise of the 
slayer taking out so many in only two days.

"Thanks Angel.  And you might want to avoid dark places when you're 
out at night.  Wouldn't want to confuse you with one of the bad 
guys."  Buffy smiled evily at him.

"Yea, you're welcome."  He said as he rose to leave.  

Buffy watched him leave the club just as Willow sat back down beside 
her.

"Please tell me this isn't one of those things you can't tell me?"  
Willow pleaded.

Buffy felt awful inside.  She really wanted to share this with 
Willow but knew she couldn't.  Willow saw the pained expression on 
Buffy's face and decided to downgrade her inquiry.

"Well can you at least tell me if you're in trouble or danger?"  
Willows quietly asked for this small concession.

Buffy relaxed a little and chose her words carefully.  "No, not in 
trouble.  In fact there was actually some good news."

"Not in trouble, but what about danger?"  Willow asked concerned.

Buffy didn't want to worry her friend but she couldn't lie to her 
either.  "Well the good news makes the danger less, nothing I can't 
handle."  Buffy reassured her by placing her hand atop Willow's and 
giving it a comforting squeeze.

"Hey Willow.  Missed you today."  Caused both girls to look up to 
where Xander was standing.  He had been talking to Willow but his 
eyes were on Buffy.

"Oh Xander. Uh Hi.  I was helping Buffy get up to date on classes.  
And Oh, Xander this is Buffy.  Buffy, Xander."  Willow rambled off 
her mind still on her conversation with Buffy and feeling slightly 
annoyed at Xander's interruption.

Xander helped himself to the seat that had been recently occupied by 
Angel.  While not completely ignoring Willow he couldn't get his 
eyes off Buffy.

"Hi Buffy!  So what brings you to Sunny D?"  Xander opened up trying 
to engage the new girl.  The very hot new girl he was thinking.

"Hi, and uh...my mom moved us here to open a new business."  Buffy 
said, not actually lying but not comfortable telling this stranger 
the real reason's.

"Well hooray for free enterprise.  We can always use new blood in 
town."  Xander spoke, unable to take his eyes off Buffy though he 
was confused as to why she found his remark amusing enough to 
chuckle.

"Hey, did I say something funny?  Of course, I'm a funny guy.  Just 
ask Will, tell her Will.  Tell her how funny I am."  Xander's 
immediate thought was that Buffy found him interesting and he 
desperately tried to push this advantage.

"Oh yea, he's a riot."  Willow rolled her eyes and Buffy laughed at 
the incredulous look on Willow's face.

"Really good band tonight.  Wanna dance Buffy?"  Xander aksed, 
desperately feeling the need to get close to Buffy.

Buffy tried to control the panic she felt.  Looking over at Willow 
she saw her glaring at Xander with a slightly hurt expression on her 
face.  Thinking quickly she put her hand on Willow's shoulder.

"I'd love to dance."  Xander started to stand and Willow looked at 
Buffy in surprise.  "Willow, would you dance with me?"

Willow's surprise turned even more so.  She didn't want Buffy 
dancing with Xander and she had hated the way Xander was blowing her 
off to go after Buffy.  Her first thought was dancing with a girl 
would draw attention, and Willow hated to be noticed.  Bad things 
happened when people noticed her.  But then she thought accepting 
Buffy's offer would kill two birds with one stone.  Xander wouldn't 
be dancing with Buffy and it would bring him down a notch.  Her 
decision made she smiled at Buffy.

"I'd love to."  She responded gleefully.

"Huhh...whaaaa..." Was all that came out of Xander's mouth as in 
shock he watched Buffy lead Willow to the dance floor.  Sitting back 
down slowly he tried to figure out what just happened.  'Why didn't 
she just say no thank you" he thought 'or make up some other lame 
excuse.'  He hated rejection but was used to it.  This wasn't just 
rejection, it was humiliation.  Imagine, she'd rather dance with 
Willow than him.  What was the world coming to he thought just befoe 
his mind quickly turned to ones more pleasant as he watched the two 
girls sway close together.

Buffy leaned towards Willow so as to be heard over the 
music.  "Thanks for getting me out of that."

"Hey, that's what best friends are for."  Willow responded with a 
smile.

"It was probably a cruel thing to do to him, but I hated the way he 
was just blowing you off and coming on like gang busters to me."  
Buffy further explained her reasoning.

"Yea, Xander can be pretty insensitive.  But I always forgive him.  
He's really a good guy deep down.  He just wasn't around when they 
were handing out clues."  Willow felt compelled to defend her 
childhood friend.

Buffy felt a twang of guilt.  She suddenly realized that Willow had 
feelings for Xander.  This evoked other not so pleasant feelings.  
But she shook them off and decided to do the best friend thing.  
Leaning in a little closer as they continued to sway slowly to the 
slow beat of the song she asked Willow as loudly as she dared.

"You have feelings for him, don't you?"  Buffy followed up with a 
meaningful look as she caught Willow's eyes with her own.

"Uh yea, but he'll never see me that way."  Willow mumbled and only 
Buffy's heightened hearing enabled her to understand Willow's words.

The song ended and as the turned to go back to their table Buffy 
spotted someone in the upper balcony watching her.  Turning to 
Willow she spoke encouragingly.  "I have something I need to take 
care of.  Why don't you go console Xander and I'll be back in a 
couple of minutes. OK?"

"Oh, sure."  Willow replied thinking Buffy just needed to use the 
restroom.  But as she watched Buffy walk towards the stairs and not 
the back hall where the restrooms were she looked up.  She 
immediately spotted the school librarian, Mr. Giles.  He was 
watching Buffy intently as she approached him.  Willow just stared 
for a moment as they started to talk.  Shaking her head, questions 
started to swirl in her mind.  Then Xander caught her attention with 
a wave of his arm.  She returned to the table, her curiosity 
contained until later.

"Hey, ever heard of a vampire called Angel?"  Buffy asked her 
watcher, bypassing formal greetings.

"Uh, no. I don't believe I have.  Did you take care of him?"  Giles 
responded awkardly, having been prepared to be the questioner.

"No, I didn't.  He had information for me and says he's working for 
the good guys.  The ptb, whatever that is."  Buffy responded, 
disappointed that her watcher didn't have any information regarding 
the strange vampire.

"The Powers That Be?"  Giles responded in surprise.  "Well that 
would be a first.  A vampire working for the powers is quite 
extraordinary."

"Well I plan on keeping an eye on him but he seemed sincere.  He 
gave me some information that I need you to verify to see if he's on 
the up and up."  Buffy then filled her watcher on everything that 
transpired between her and the vampire.

When she completed her report Giles was busily wiping his glasses 
with a hankerchief.  Putting them back on his face he fixed Buffy 
with a nervous expression. "This is incredible Buffy.  If this 
information can be verified we just might be able to avert an 
apocalypse."

"An apocalypse?  Isn't that a bit extreme Giles."  Buffy asked 
increduously.

"No, it's not extreme in the slightest."  Giles responded annoyed 
that his evaluation was questioned.  "If this master is released and 
completes the opening of the Hellmouth, we'll be overrun with demons 
from whatever hell dimension it links to."

"Oh, so this hell mouth is like some mystical doorway to hell.  And 
if it opens it's like an all you can eat buffet in Ethiopia."  Buffy 
nodded her head in understanding.

"Well not the example I would have used but I believe you've 
captured the essence of the matter."  Giles shook his head unable to 
not feel somewhat amused at how the young girl chose to perceive 
something so horrific.

"Ok, well he's only got seven vamps left to pull off this Harvest 
thing.  And I have a pretty good idea where they'll be coming from.  
The same place as the twenty-four from last night.  I'll get them 
before they even get close."  Buffy summed up her plan then looked 
at her watch.  "Damn, look, I've got to go but we'll talk tomorrow 
at school.  See ya!"  Buffy turned and quickly made her way 
downstairs leaving Giles sputtering at the quick dismissal.

Buffy slowed her approach to the table as she spied Willow and 
Xander talking quickly back and forth.  As she got close enough to 
hear over all the background noise she picked up Xander's side of 
the conversation.

"...don't understand Will.  You've made friends with one of the 
hottest babes in school.  And she's got no history here which is 
perfect.  Why won't you help?"

"Xander, you've just got to trust me on this.  You don't stand a 
chance."  Willow's exasperation was showing.  "Just give it up and 
move on."  Should take my own advice Willow thought to herself just 
as they were interrupted by Buffy's return.

"Hey Will, I've got to get going."  Buffy said before Xander could 
get out another attempt to engage Buffy.

"Can you walk with me?"  Buffy asked Willow quickly.

"Oh, sure."  Willow rose and turned to Xander.  "Night Xander.  See 
you at school tomorrow?"  Willow asked never sure if Xander would 
actually show up.

Xander slumped his shoulders in defeat.  "Yea, see you tomorrow."

"Bye Xander.  It was nice meeting you."  Buffy gave the standard 
salutation without emotion.

"Likewise, I'm sure."  Xander responded quietly as he watched his 
best friend leave with his latest rejection.

Buffy and Willow had left the club behind when Buffy finally spoke 
since telling Willow to walk to Willow's house.

"Hey mopey, are you okay."  Buffy asked gently.

"Yea, I guess."  Willow pursed her lips, her thoughts a little too 
jumbled to form a full sentence.

"I overheard the end of your conversation with Xander.  Didn't mean 
to, kinda just did."  Buffy started hoping Willow would open up to 
her.  "He seemed pretty upset that you won't help him.  Why didn't 
you just tell him that I'm gay?  At least it would have saved his 
feelings and put a stop to any further embarassing problems."

"Oh, I didn't think it was my place to tell him and I wasn't sure 
how he'd react."  Willow turned her head towards Buffy and shrugged 
her shoulders.

"If you trust him not to go spreading it around school it would be 
OK."  Buffy paused suddenly concerned.  "What do you mean you don't 
know how he'd take it?  Is he phobic?"

"Is he phobic?"  Willow repeated Buffy's words back at her.  "Uh, I 
don't think so, well maybe a little but I think only if it's a guy.  
So no, I don't think he'd have a problem with that."  Willow paused, 
trying to figure out how to phrase her concern.  "I think it would 
be more about me.  As in me being friends with you.  While Xander is 
pretty clueless, he's always been protective of me.  I'm concerned 
that he might think that you would try and convert me or 
something."  Willow looked at Buffy embarassed.  "Pretty silly, huh?"

Buffy drew on all the research she had done when she had realized 
that she was attracted to girls.  "Well it's silly to think that 
someone can be converted.  You either are or you're not.  It's just 
that people figure it out at different times in their lives.  Some 
just know it from the time they're little kids and others don't 
figure it out until they'r married with a couple of kids."

A sudden thought occured to Willow.  Buffy and she had taken to each 
other pretty quickly.  She was all of a sudden concerned that Buffy 
might think she was gay.  Willow didn't think she was and didn't 
want to lead her new friend on.  "Uh Buffy, you don't think I'm gay, 
do you?  Because I really don't think I am."

Buffy answered cautiously.  "Willow, what I think or anyone else 
thinks doesn't matter.  It's something that each of us needs to 
figure out for ourselves.  If you're straight you're still my best 
friend.  That won't change."

Willow was relieved at hearing this but her curiosity got the better 
of her.  "But what if I was gay?  What would happen then."

Buffy chuckled to cover the warm flush she felt as her thougths 
entertained what she would do.  "If you were gay, I'd still want to 
be your best friend."  Buffy paused.  "But a best friend who also 
buys you flowers, writes sappy poems too and couldn't keep her hands 
off of." She finished teasingly.

Willow felt herself blush at the comments.  She had never thought of 
being intimate with a girl before but the suggestion that Buffy 
would be interested in her in that way was an incredible boost to 
her ego, especially after the trouncing it had taken with Xander.  
Needing to change the subject Willow remembered what happened after 
their dance.

"I saw you go up and talk to Mr. Giles?  Do you know him?"  Willow 
watched Buffy's face carefully for her reaction.

"Oh, no...well kinda.  But I just met him today for the first 
time."  Buffy quickly tried to catch up to Willow's change of 
subject.  Again a subject she couldn't talk about.

"So, what did you talk about?"  Willow continued to weedle some 
information out of Buffy.

"I, uh told him about the conversation I had with that guy who came 
by."  Buffy answered honestly without saying about what.

"You can tell the school librarian something you can't tell me?"  
Willow couldn't hide the hurt from her voice.

Buffy slapped herself mentally.  This honesty thing can be a real 
pain sometimes she thought.  "I told him because it concerned him as 
well as me.  Why it did I can't say."  Buffy said quickly in full 
damage control.  "Giles knows about some things.  Things I need his 
help on.  He helps me with the things I can't talk about."  Buffy 
offered not believing how lame she sounded.

Willow's hurt turned to concern as her previous thoughts about what 
kind of danger Buffy could be in returned full force.  "It's about 
the danger you're in."  Willow stated.

"Uh, yea."  Buffy let it go at that hoping Willow would let it 
drop.  'God', she thought, 'She must be thinking I'm a real headcase 
about right now.'

Willow turned into the walkway leading upto her front door.  They 
both finished the final steps in quiet.  Willow turned to Buffy 
before going inside.  "Buffy, I'm not angry that you can't tell me 
what's going on.  Disappointed, but not angry.  But I am worried.  
I'm worried that my new best friend is going to get hurt and I can't 
do anything to help."

Buffy was overwhelmed by the concern in Willow's voice.  She wanted 
to hug Willow but restrained herself.  "I promise to be careful.  
Trust me when I say I can take care of myself."

"I don't know why...but I do believe you that you can take care of 
youself."  Willow paused before making a final plea.  "But Buffy, 
everyone needs help at sometime in their lives.  Without it their 
alone and become lost."

"Yea, so I've been told."  Buffy said quietly.  But she'd also been 
told that it was her duty to fight alone.  Her alone against the 
forces of darkness.  Why would the council be so adamant about her 
not sharing her burden with anyone she asked herself, not for the 
first time.

Buffy shook herself from these dark thoughts.  Looking at Willow she 
smiled.  "You have made this the best first day of school ever.  
Thank you.  And you are helping, more than you know."

Willow smiled back, still wanting to do more but grateful that they 
were parting on an upnote.  "That's what best friends are for."

"Well can I give my best friend a hug goodnight?"  Buffy asked shyly

Willow answered by putting her arms around Buffy's shoulders and 
drawing her near.  As she felt Buffy's answering clasp she finally 
understood why she had felt uncomfortable with the earlier hugging.  
The way Buffy held her was more than friendly, somehow intimate.  At 
this thought Willow slowly released her hold and stood back as 
Buffys arms dropped to her side.

"Good night.  I had a good day also.  Definitely different and 
different of the good.  So thank you."  Willow turned to go inside 
as Buffy responded.

"Good night Willow."

As Buffy hurried home, Willow's thoughts turned to how she might 
still be able to help Buffy.  She knew she couldn't help without 
knowing what the problem was.  But Buffy couldn't tell her so she 
didn't have any idea where to begin.  She needed information and as 
she remembered the evenings events a plan began to form in her 
active mind.  'I think it's time to find out more about our new 
school librarian' she thought as she woke up her computer.




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Willow: "It's a good fight, Buffy, and I want in."
Buffy:  "I kinda love you."
                     'Choices'

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