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Hey guys!
For those of you who don't subscribe to BWW, our own Mad-Hamlet posted a MST of an infamous PWP story by SC Rose. The reason I bring this up is because, inspired by his effort, I have finished work on my own MST.
I bent the MST rules slightly, however. I decided for my first effort to MST one of my own stories. Mainly because I didn't want to plunge into a sea of boring bad fanfic, just to luck out and find one that was worth MSTing. If anyone has any suggestions of a fanfic worth MSTing, please let me know. I may do this again sometime.
With that in mind, hope you enjoy my efforts. Due to space considerations, I'll be posting this in two parts.
Kirayoshi
Disclaimers; Joel Hodgson, Mike Nelson and Kevin Murphy created the characters and concepts of Mystery Science Theater 3000. And the world is a little wackier, and a lot more fun, for it. Other disclaimers within the fanfic. Warrior, Slayer, Hacker, MSTer! By Kirayoshi "In the not too distant future, Way down in Deep Thirteen, Doctor Forrester and TVs Frank Were hatching an evil scheme. They hired a temp by the name of Mike, Just a regular guy they didn't like, Their experiment needed a new test case, So they knocked him on the noggin and they shot him into space. (Let me out!) Well send him cheesy fanfics, The worst we can find (la, la, la,) He'll have to sit and read them all, And we'll monitor his mind! (la, la, la) Now keep in mind Mike can't control When the fanfics begin and end (la, la, la) He'll try to keep his sanity With the help of his robot friends! Robot roll call! Cambot! (Text only!) Gypsy! (Hi ho!) Tom Servo! (It's a good fight and I want out.) Crow! (Here endeth the lesson!) If you're wondering how he eats and breathes, And other science facts, (la, la, la) Just repeat to yourself, it's just a show I should really just relax! For Mystery Science Theater 3000! (Cambot pans away as doorways 6 through 1 close after it, and enters the main control room, where Gypsy is seen wearing a bandoleer and attacking a body bag, and Tom Servo stands by watching her. Tom seems to be wearing a tweed jacket and glasses. Enter Mike Nelson) Mike: Welcome to the Satellite of Love. I'm Mike Nelson, and these two goof balls are Tom Servo and Gypsy. I know I'm going to regret this, but I'd better find out what Tom's up to. (Turns to Tom). Hey, Tom, what's up? Tom: Hidey ho, Mike. Nothing much here, just sitting here watching Gypsy. Now, Gypsy, let's work on some of those Eastern breathing exercises, shall we? Gypsy: I'm a robot, Servo, I don't breath. Tom: Details, details, you must concentrate on your calling. Mike: Uh, wait up a minute, what 'calling', Gypsy? Gypsy: I'm the Vampire Slayer. Mike: Oh, that's good. Now if you mind, I'll just go over and—the what? Gypsy: The Vampire Slayer, Mike. Servo explained it to me; in every generation, the Chosen One, that's me, must face the vampires, the demons and the forces of darkness! Neat, huh? And Tom's my Watcher. Tom: That's nice, Gypsy. Now, we must concentrate on your fighting stance. Now, grab a stake and come at me. Gypsy: I don't have arms, Tom. Tom: Fake it, honey, fake it! (Enter Crow T. Robot) Crow: Uh, Tom, is it time for me to make a snide pop-cultural reference? Tom: Not yet, Crow, wait until the next Force of Darkness comes along, we'll let you know. Crow: Yeah, well this being a Zeppo, whatever that is, is getting pretty dull! Tom: Yeah, well just be glad you're not a Gummo, alright? Mike: Uh, it goes against my better judgment to even pose the question, but what exactly's going on here? Tom: Oh, for crying out in the beer, it's really very simple, Mike. I'm a Watcher, and it's my sacred duty to prepare Gypsy for her eternal battle with the Forces of Darkness! It's all here in the book (points to a book on the counter) Mike (reading the book title): "Vampire Slaying for Dummies". Hmm, that's all well and good, Tom, but there aren't a whole helluva lot of Forces of Darkness here on the Satellite of Love. Tom: Right, so in order to help further our campaign against evil, the Mads will have to send us back to Earth! Mike (light dawning): Oh, I get it now. You realize that'll never work, right? Tom: Hmm, there's no vampires up here, she's the Vampire Slayer, so we gotta get to Earth to fight the vampires, I really don't see a problem with that scenario. (Alarm light flashes) Mike: Well, Spike and Dru are calling, maybe they'll explain the problem. Hello, Dr. Forrester.
Dr. Forrester is puttering about in his lab while TV's Frank plays jump rope in the background. Forrester notices the camera and walks toward it. Forrester: Why hello, little nimrods. How may I help to make your day more miserable and despairing? Mike: Well, sir, it seems that Gypsy's been chosen for some weird destiny, so if Tom's right, you have to send us back to Earth. Forrester: Oh, really? What is this destiny of which you speak? Mike: Oh, something about fighting the Forces of Evil or other, it's all very involved really. Forrester: Hmm, the Forces of Evil, huh. TV's Frank: Hey, aren't they touring with No Doubt right now? Mike (shrugging his shoulders): Uh, yeah, so far that sounds right. Forrester: Well, there's this little problem with your idea. Y'see, Frank and I, we ARE part of the Forces of Evil. I have my card right here, (fishes through his pocket until he finds his wallet) ah, here it is, (shows his ID card) Forces of Evil Union 233, and I've got my dues paid up for the next year. So we really don't see how it benefits us to send you back to Earth so you can fight us, right? So we'll just keep you on the Satellite of Love so you don't have to worry about those nasty Forces of Evil. Problem solved. Tom: D'oh! I knew there was a catch. Plus this tweed suit itches like you wouldn't believe! Gypsy: Does that mean I can take off this stupid leather belt? Cause if I don't have a sacred duty, I'm gonna go watch my Richard Basehart videos. 'Bye! (Exit Gypsy) Crow: Uh, Calvary's here. Calvary's a scared bot with a rock, but... Tom (stage whisper): Not now! Forrester: Well, moving right along. Speaking of the Forces of Evil, your experiment today is a pointless peccadillo, called "Warrior, Slayer, Hacker", by someone going by the dubious name of Kir A. Yoshi or some such. Battle on, joyless drone! Mike (as sirens blare and lights flash): WE'VE GOT FANFIC SIGN! (Mike, Tom and Crow exit, as Cambot pans toward the hatch, which opens to hatches 1 through 6 in succession; Door 6: It slides open on both sides.. Door 5: It's made of beads. They explode out towards you, and you move on… |