TITLE: Solitude(1/1)
AUTHOR: Jamie
(jim.rundle@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx)
DISCLAIMER: The Buffyverse and what?s contained
within belong to Joss and anyone else who has a slice of the pie. Anything else,
as well as this arrangement of words that follows, is
mine.
SUMMARY:
Dark, tragic thoughts and events cloud a beautiful day, but is there
hope?
SPOILERS: None.
DISTRIBUTION: Just e-Mail me.
AUTHOR'S
NOTES: Just a short season 4 piece
I?ve written to try and get back into the swing of writing FF. Critique is
welcomed, and rewarded with cookies.
by
Jamie
*BRIIIIIIIIIIING*
The
shrill sound of the telephone punctured the blanket of sombre emotion that
permeated the room. The girl sat in the corner, legs folded up against her chest
and her head laid on her knees.
*BRIIIIIIIIIIING*
It rang
again, unanswered. Outside, the gentle pattering of the rain against the glass
of the girl?s window could be heard as a steady, unending beat, each drop
striking the surface and dissipating with a gentle tap.
*BRIIIIIIIIIIING*
From her
protective position on top of her bed, the girl opened her eyes. Dried and
still-moist mascara ran down her face, streaking the pale flesh with sad black
lines that so perfectly represented the torment in her
heart.
*BRIIIIIIIIIIING*
The
telephone rang for the fourth time. It lay on the bedside table, little more
than an arm?s reach away. But she didn?t move. Her broken spirit refused to
allow itself further injury by giving in to her heart
again.
*BRIIIIIIIIIIING*
Her eyes
began to feel sore, her tear ducts filled with more salty water to send
cascading down her skin. As she blinked away the first layer of her sadness, her
eyes refocused on something that was glinting in the
moonlight.
The
ringing stopped.
Slowly,
she began to move. Her motions were sluggish, unsure, as if she had been in a
deep sleep for a thousand years and just awoken. Sniffing and wiping at her
nose, she blinked the tears from her eyes again as her right hand closed around
the object. Slowly, she brought it into her line of sight. A flash of lightning
illuminated the room, revealing the face of the object to the girl. A photograph
of her, taken on a grassy field at her old High School. She lay on her front,
arms ahead of her and her right hand gently holding a blood red rose
that she cast off at an angle. The girl?s eyes tracked to the other half of the
image, and smiled sadly. Her friend lay next to her in the same position, except
her hands and elbows propped up her head as she looked at the
rose.
She
couldn?t help the overwhelming tide of emotion that came from within her at that
point, and gave in to sobbing freely, her tears falling from her eyes and
landing with a gentle splash on the photograph. With shaking hands she turned
the frame over and loosened the catches, allowing the back panel to fall to the
floor. She gently removed the photograph, taking care not to bend or mark it as
she did so.
As she
stared lovingly at the image of her friend, and traced the outline of her
face with a trembling finger, she thought back to the events that had taken
place earlier, and the tears came again.
She
smiled with genuine happiness as she picked her way through the loose crowd of
people, all of them wishing her well and shouting as she passed. It was
like a dream, a surprise birthday party that she had had no idea of. All
organised and executed with perfect precision by her best friend. Gentle music
played out from a fairly powerful sound system, located about fifteen metres
from her. As people paired off and began to dance slowly, she came face to face
with her angel.
?Dance
with me?? She asked softly, extending her hand.
?Always.?
The object of her affection replied, and took it in her own. The electricity of
that first contact brought a smile to the girl?s face, and she closed her eyes
as they drew closer together, her own arm coming around her friend?s waist to
hold her, as they swayed gently to the music together.
?Thank
you.? She whispered as she lay her head on her shoulder, the soft fragrance of
her friend?s hair mingling with the spice of her scent and filling her heart
with need.
?For
this? It was my pleasure.? The other girl sighed, as the fingers on her left
hand intertwined with their counterparts.
?Not
just for this. For everything. For being there for me when I couldn?t be there
for myself, for always staying at my side no matter what.?
?Oh,
Buffy?? The red-haired girl breathed as she pulled her tightly into an
embrace.
?I love
you, Willow. With all my heart.?
She
stiffened. In that instant, that single, tiny movement, Buffy?s heart broke into
a thousand tiny shards. The emotional weight she had borne on her shoulders
associated with that line suddenly came crashing down on her, bearing her soul
to the floor with the crushing feeling of fear and rejection. She broke away
from Willow hurriedly. The room began to spin.
?I?I?m sorry?? She stuttered, then hurried through the crowd of people in the room to the door, and through it.
She
curled up in her corner again, gazing at the picture and rueing her own
stupidity in tearing apart the beautiful relationship that existed
between them. Thanks to her lack of self-control, they could never have that
time on the grass again. Ever.
She felt
an emptiness inside her that she had never imagined could exist. She had never
felt so totally alone before in her life as she did now. She was
terrified.
*KNOCK
KNOCK KNOCK*
A
gentle, muffled sound came from the door, and Buffy squeezed her eyes shut,
shaking her head in desperation. Don?t come in, don?t come in, don?t come in,
don?t come in?
The
latch turned and the wooden door began to swing on its axis as the light from
the hallway flooded the small section of the room that had been opened to
it.
Don?t
come in, don?t come in, don?t come in, don?t come in?
?Buffy??
Willow?s soft voice called from outside of the doorway. The blonde girl in the
corner fought desperately to keep her tears back. ?Can I come
in??
The
sheer innocence of that single request once again flooded her very being,
breaking down the barriers that she had erected in a torrent of angst and
regret. After receiving no answer, Willow entered slowly, and gasped when she
heard Buffy crying. Quickly, she shut the door and hurried over to the bed,
sitting on the side of it.
?Buffy??
She said, her voice distraught. ?What?s wrong?? Her hand reached out to pull a
lock of her friend?s hair back from her eye, and Buffy flinched. Willow?s hand
snapped back immediately. She was deeply, deeply hurt, but forced herself not to
show it.
The rain
continued to drum incessantly against the window.
?Why did
you run away like that?? She asked, beginning to shift slowly but surely towards
the other girl, whose face was still turned away from her. There was another
brief period of silence, before Buffy gave another gentle sob. Willow reached
out to her and pulled the girl to her as she cried, repeatedly apologising in a
cracked voice wracked with misery and pain. It was breaking her
heart?
?Tell me
what?s wrong.?
?I
can?t.?
?You
have to.?
?Why??
She demanded, her voice breaking again. There was a brief pause as Willow looked
outside, away from Buffy.
?Because
I can?t!?
The
Slayer?s head rose from its position slowly, and she sat up. She winced inwardly
at how she must have looked, but dismissed the thought as quickly as it had
formed. That was not important at the moment.
?When
you said that to me at the party, I didn?t know what to
say.?
Another
pause, and Buffy began to turn her face downwards again.
?I
didn?t know what to say, because I?ve spent the last three weeks practicing
saying those words, but I didn?t prepare myself to give a response to them.
I never dreamed..."
Buffy
looked up again into her friend?s green eyes. So warm, so full of life. Yet so
troubled as well.
?Don?t
you understand??
Buffy
simply blinked, unable to believe what this red-haired beauty was saying to
her.
?I love
you, Buffy. With all of my heart.?
With
those words, she began to move forwards. Ever so slowly, bit by bit, Buffy moved
as well. Her heart raced with the speed of a thousand athletes, the blood
running through her body at tremendous speeds. She felt light
headed.
The soft
skin of their lips brushed against each other for the first time, sending a
shudder down both of their bodies and a warmth from their hearts as they pressed
together. The kiss deepened, growing and growing with intensity by the second as
their confidence matched it. Willow slowly, tentatively slid her tongue gently
into Buffy?s mouth, and found the gesture returned, as they both expressed their
love for each other in the simplest way possible. The kiss continued for well
over two minutes before Willow broke it off, both of them breathing heavily and
gazing longingly into each others eyes.
?Happy Birthday, Buffy.?
END