FIC: Looking Into the House of Scooby

["cdreramius" <o163210@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx>]

Title: Looking Into the House of Scooby
Authors: Mike and Tony McD
Rating: mild R
Category: season 7 AU/ season 3 AU.
Pairings: B/X, W/X, B/W, B/X/W
Summary: Follows `Changing Rooms in the House of Scooby'. Standing on 
the outside looking in can be tough. 
Distribution: Anywhere, just let us know.
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer nor do I own any 
other characters. This is a work of fiction written for fun and 
enjoyment. 
Authors' notes: This is a collaborative effort between Tony and me 
due to Tony's illness. Feedback is appreciated.
Author's note 2: This will make sense if you remember that Buffy is 
in Xander's body and Xander is in Buffy's body.
*-*-*-*

"You've done nothing but bitch all day Xander." Cordelia told the 
temporarily female Scooby as they entered the library late Monday 
afternoon. Buffy and Willow were doing homework while Giles stacked 
books.
"Cordy, It's just been a difficult day. See how you handle being in a 
guy's body. Besides, I'm just feeling really moody."
"First off, you can keep the creepy body switching thing to yourself. 
Second, it's been `my hair gets in my face, this makeup is driving me 
crazy, the guys are staring at my ass' from you the whole time. If 
this is just you being moody then I'd hate to see you cope with PMS."
Xander paled and everybody looked at him in concern.

"Buffy, could I just have my wallet for a moment." Buffy's expression 
changed to one of suspicion.
"Why?" she asked.

"I, um.. I just need to.. check something."

Buffy took the wallet out of her jeans and started searching through 
it, causing Xander to panic.
"Buff, please, just give me my.."

"What's this?" Buffy asked as she pulled out the type of small 
calendar people get from banks. Willow and Cordelia peered intently 
at the piece of cardboard.
"It's not what.."

"B. W. F. C." Buffy read out loud.

Busted.

"That kinda looks like..." Willow started but was cut off by Buffy 
with a single angry word directed at Xander through gritted teeth.
"Explain."

"Two Slayers, a witch, a Cordy; a man's gotta know which days in the 
month his life is in mortal danger."
Xander's explanation was met with stony silence and hard glares as 
Buffy, Willow, and Cordelia packed up their stuff and walked out.
Xander's shoulders sagged as he watched the three walk out. He was in 
the doghouse in a big way and knew there'd be hell to pay down the 
track. Giles came up next to Xander and reached into his coat pocket.
"Here," he said sympathetically, offering him a pocket diary, "you 
can look it up on mine."
*-*-*-*

"Giles."

When Xander got no answer, he looked over at the Watcher who had his 
nose buried in a copy of `Moby Dick'. This surprised Xander a little 
as Giles had on a number of occasions made unflattering comments 
about the standard of American literature.
"Giles!" Xander repeated louder and this time he got the Watcher's 
attention.
"Sorry, er.. yes?"

"We're not gonna be slaying a great white whale any time soon, are 
we? `Cause if we are Buffy and Willow are gonna go all Greenpeace on 
us." He joked.
"Most amusing. If you must know, Joyce loaned me it to me to read." 
Giles informed somewhat defensively. Xander merely smiled as he 
thought of Joyce.
"She's a classy lady, no doubt about that." Mused Xander. Giles 
nodded.
"Certainly a remarkable woman. Intelligent, strong, understanding..."

"Not to mention a complete babe. For an older woman that is." Xander 
quickly added. Giles looked at Xander and shuddered.
"Do you have any conception just how disturbing that last comment was 
coming from the mouth of Joyce's only daughter?"
Xander paused then scrunched up his face in disgust.

Going back to his homework, Xander looked at his homework and sighed 
in frustration.
"Having done all this once before was bad enough," Xander gestured to 
his homework "doing it again is just plain painful."
"I imagine it would. But you have to concede that it isn't hurting 
your grades."
In that regard Giles was correct. The combination of maturity and 
having done it once before meant that A's and B's weren't uncommon on 
Xander's academic transcript.
"I'm no Willow, but it's nice to get good marks every now and then." 
Chuckled Xander. "Speaking of Willow, how's her Wicca training going? 
I mean, I know how Willow thinks her training is going, but I wanna 
hear how she's really going from you."
Giles sat back in his chair and contemplated the young Scooby in 
front of him. Xander was (despite his current appearance) a mature 
young man and, if the Watcher was completely honest with himself, a 
peer. As such he was entitled to hear the whole truth.
"She's highly intelligent; a fast learner. And she has great 
potential."
"I can hear a `but' coming." Xander added.

"Willow..." Giles paused, trying to find the right words to 
communicate his thoughts clearly. "Wicca is more than just spells and 
magic. It encompasses a philosophy, a... a... moral code, if you 
will. It's not just sufficient to teach someone the magic like one 
would teach a chemistry class. I can teach the basics, but I fear 
that for Willow to progress further she will need a far better 
teacher than I. Someone with the ability to impart the wisdom 
required for the knowledge."
The two sat in silence, contemplating the situation. Giles had 
started to formally teach Willow the mystical arts in an effort to 
avoid the mistakes of Xander's past. But if what Giles had said was 
true, then there was a real chance that very soon Willow's reach 
could exceed her grasp.
*-*-*-*-*

Cordelia was unhappy.

As she put her books inside her locker, she mulled over the reason 
for her unhappiness. Taped to the inside of her locker was a picture. 
A picture of her, Buffy, Willow, and Xander taken last year, just 
before Miss Calendar was killed.
The circus had come to town and the four of them had gone to see it. 
Surprisingly, nothing required slaying and the day had been fun. In 
spite of her loud and public protestations to the contrary, the day 
was the most enjoyable she had ever had.
The Scoobies were so different to everyone else at school. Their 
lives had a higher purpose, a higher meaning. They battled the forces 
of evil every night and even saved the world every now and then.
The whole school, and in particular Harmony and the rest Cordelia's 
of former friends, would fawn over some jock who would strut around 
like some kind of hero just because he scored the winning touchdown.
The Scooby Gang were the real heroes.

Cordelia had to admit (even if it was just to herself) that she was 
happy to be a part of that higher purpose.
She was also happy that for the first time ever she had friends. Real 
friends as opposed to shallow, air kiss types that were formerly 
known as the Cordettes. Willow, Xander, and Jonathan, long victims of 
Cordelia's scathing put downs and public humiliations, had become far 
better friends to her than any Cordette could ever hope to be.
She still traded put downs with them, particularly Xander, but it was 
different now. It was an exercise of quick witticisms for the 
purposes of humouring rather than hurting. Even Jonathan could trade 
friendly insults with her while on a clothes shopping trip.
Buffy understood Cordelia in a way Harmony never could. Before she 
became the Slayer, Buffy was Hemery's version of pre Scooby Cordelia.
Pre Scooby Cordelia.

It was funny how she had divided herself into pre Scooby Cordelia, 
and post Scooby Cordelia. It was like they were two different people.
Cordelia preferred the post Scooby version of herself more.

So why was she unhappy?

"What's up Dee?" Faith asked, startling Cordelia out of her 
introspective moment.
"Damn it Faith! I swear I'm gonna put a little bell on you some day! 
You scared the crap out of me." Faith smirked.
"What can I say? I'm a sneaky bitch." Faith leaned up against the 
lockers. "Ran into B and Red on the way in. Seems like they were 
pissed at Xan for some reason. What'd he do this time?"
Cordelia explained Xander's little calendar. Faith just laughed.

"What the hell are you laughing about, Faith? You're on that calendar 
too."
"Yeah, so?"

"So?" spluttered Cordelia incredulously.

"Look, Dee, first off, I live with the guy. He does all the shopping 
and that includes buying all the `girl' stuff." Faith explained doing 
air quotes around the word `girl'. "And secondly, who do you think 
helped Xan and G put it together?"
"You what? Giles has one too?"

"Dee, for god's sake, chill! It's not that big a deal."

Cordelia practically threw her last book into her locker then, after 
a moment, calmed down somewhat. Faith was right. Just then another 
thought occurred to her.
"How'd they figure out my cycle?"

"Like I said before, I'm a sneaky bitch." Faith pronounced.

"Well, you're half right." Cordelia muttered. Faith chose to ignore 
the comment but instead concentrated on the picture in Cordelia's 
locker.
"It's tough some times, ain't it?"

"What's tough?"

"Being an outsider, Dee."

"What in the hell are you talking about, Faith?" Cordelia demanded to 
know. In fact she knew exactly what Faith was talking about and the 
subject was a little too personal for Cordelia's comfort. Faith 
changed tack.
"I dunno what B's problem is. Or was. Whatever." Faith dismissed "But 
I've figured out Red's problem."
"Her parents did to much LSD in the 70's?"

"She's pissed at me over B and Xan." Cordelia looked at Faith, 
scandalised.
"God! You guys are just a bunch of sex starved freaks!"

"Nothing like that, Dee." Faith reassured and then broke out in an 
evil grin. "Although it's not from a lack of trying." Cordelia's face 
flushed and she muttered something incoherent under her breath.
"Red's problem is that I got a handle on her two honeys that she 
can't touch and that just burns her up. Ya see Red may get all kissy 
face with B and shit but there's a part of B that she'll never really 
get."
"The Slayer thing." Cordelia observed.

"You're not just a pretty face, are you Dee? Being a Slayer is more 
than just having a hot bod and some kick ass powers. It's something 
deeper. And Red or even Xan can't really get it. But I do."
"And you living with Xander wouldn't give Willow warm and fuzzy 
feelings either."
"Nope, living with Xan lets a girl learn a few things about the guy. 
Now I didn't grow up with the Xan-man like Red did, but there's a 
whole bunch of years that Red wasn't there for either. Well, this Red 
anyway." Faith chuckled. "Anyway, he had a lot of stuff happen to 
him, some of it Red don't know about."
"Like what?"

"Not my story to tell, Dee." Faith rebuffed the cheerleader's 
question. She continued on.
"Now there's this whole bunch of years she weren't there for. The guy 
grew up, he changed, and all of a sudden Red doesn't know absolutely 
everything about the guy like she thought she used to."
They stood there for a few moments before Faith continued, a little 
sadness crept into her voice.
"For years being an outsider meant safety to me. Don't get involved 
and you can't get hurt."
"The famous `get some, get gone' approach." Cordelia surmised.

"Something like that." Faith admitted. "Of course I meet the Scooby 
Gang and that idea starts looking a little shaky."
"Plllease" drawled Cordelia "the way things have been going between 
those three freaks `get some, get gone' sounds pretty good by 
comparison."
"Really? Are you trying to tell me that you're happy standing on the 
outside looking in? That you don't sometimes wish you had what 
they've got going together?"
"No. I don't." an uncomfortable Cordelia replied unconvincingly.

"Keep telling yourself that Dee. You might actually believe it some 
day."
*Yeah, one day you might actually believe it yourself too* a little 
voice in the back of Faith's mind told her.
*-*-*-*-*-*

Mike's notes: Just a quick one until Tony becomes available again. 
Apologies for the shortness.


Willow: "It's a good fight, Buffy, and I want in."
Buffy:  "I kinda love you."
                     'Choices'

Community email addresses:
     Post message: buffywantswillow@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
     Subscribe:    buffywantswillow-subscribe@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
     Unsubscribe:  buffywantswillow-unsubscribe@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
     List owner:   buffywantswillow-owner@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Shortcut URL to this page:
     http://groups.yahoo.com/group/buffywantswillow

Official archive for the list:
     http://www.ikoly.com/fanfic

Other links to Buffy/Willow fics:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/buffywantswillow/links  

Yahoo! Groups Links

To visit your group on the web, go to:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/buffywantswillow/

To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
buffywantswillow-unsubscribe@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to:
http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/