Fic: R,R&R Book II (3b/?) NC17 B/W/T

Chapter 3 continued

========== BtVS ==========

Tara closed the door behind the exiting Summers sisters with a broad smirk on her face. ‘Oh yes, I knew it!’ she thought with a chuckle.

“Wow, Dawnie seemed pretty nervous...” Willow said, sounding surprised.

‘Of course she’s nervous,’ Tara thought. ‘it should be very interesting to feel how Buffy’s going to react...’

“She must have something pretty important to ask...” Willow continued her concerned rumination. “I wonder what could be so bad?”

“I think Dawn’s going to make a move on Xander,” Tara answered the redhead’s rhetorical question with a barely suppressed laugh.

“A move on Xander?” Willow’s strangled gasp caused the blonde witch to chuckle aloud.

‘Oh, sweetie!’ Tara thought at Willow’s _expression_. ‘You look really funny with your mouth hanging open like that!’

“Yep, I think our little Dawnie wants some Xander-lovin; and she has very wisely decided to talk to Buffy, and probably her mom too, before-hand to try to forestall any family resistance.” Tara continued.

“A move on Xander?” Willow again squeaked.

“You’ve seen how she looks at him, Willow. She’s got it bad,” Tara said.

Willow’s voice was filled with amazement still as she replied, “I know she’s got a crush on him...”

Tara stuck out her lower lip slightly and pretended to be hurt as she said, “What, are you jealous?”

‘Oops, that worked,’ the blond witch thought as Willow’s astonishment quickly disappeared and her eyes flashed with outrage.

“No! Goddess, no!” Willow protested.

‘Gotcha!’ Tara thought with a bit of a smirk tugging at her mouth.

Willow gave her a glare and growled, “You! Big faker!” before settling into a pout of her own.

Tara laughed softly, pulling the slightly resistant redhead into an embrace. “You’re just so easy to tease, Willow.” She said affectionately.

As usual, Willow only took a few seconds to melt against her lover.

Tara licked her lips as she felt Willow’s arms move to return the embrace. ‘I do so love the feel of your arms around me... your hands on my back... every part of being in your arms is like heaven!’ She smiled happily as Willow tilted her head slightly to stare back into the blonde’s eyes.

“Tara, you know I’d never...” the redhead began softly.

“I know Willow,” Tara answered back with confidence.

“I’m just surprised,” Willow went on. “I mean it’s one thing to have a crush on him, but I never imagined she would actually try and, you know...”

“I know, baby. It’s hard not to think of her as our little Dawnie... but she’s not a child,” Tara said gently. “Even if you ignore the whole ‘Key’ thing, she’s definitely not a little girl anymore.”

“Boy, you can say that again!” Willow huffed in agreement.

“My, my, my...” Tara said teasingly. “Xander’s not the only one checking out Dawn, I see...”

Willow blushed, but didn’t back down. “Oh, like you haven’t? Come on, Tara. That girl has turned into a major hottie!”

Tara giggled. “Oh yeah, she’s defiantly got a lot of her sister in her...”

“Oh!” Willow exclaimed suddenly.

“Yeah,” Tara said, instinctively knowing what Willow was thinking. “Buffy would definitely not want to hear us talking about her sister like that...”

“You know, they’re not *really* sisters...” Willow said with a seductive purr in her voice.

Now it was Tara’s turn to go wide-eyed with shock. “Willow Adena Rosenberg!” she barked, dropping her arms and taking a step back.

Willow’s face broke into a huge grin and she began giggling hysterically. “Ha! I so got you!” she crowed.

“You did,” Tara admitted, flooded with mental images.

‘Oh, I feel so dirty!’ Tara thought, flushed and embarrassed. ‘I should not be envisioning that!’

Willow did a little victory dance and started chanting, “Tara’s having naughty wrong thoughts, Tara’s having naughty wrong thoughts!”

Tara reached out and gave the redhead a resounding slap on her skirt-covered ass. “You little minx!” she laughed, unable to keep her voice stern.

‘Goddess, she’s so beautiful when she’s being silly like that!’ Tara thought, ‘Nothing is as delightful as a playful Willow!’

Willow immediately stilled, her smile changing from silly-playful to playful of a different variety.

‘Ok, some things are just about as delightful...’ Tara thought as arousal tingled down in the pit of her stomach.

“Un uh! Don’t you start with me Willow!” Tara growled teasingly. “No sex for you until I get some breakfast!”

“Aww,” Willow mock-pouted.

“Oh, no you don’t,” Tara said, remaining firm. “You may taste great, but you’re not filling!”

“Oh, I see... now you’re comparing me to lite beer!” Willow joked with a teasing smile.

Tara wrinkled her nose. “Ugh, you taste much better than lite beer!” she said. “Now, a strawberry daiquiri on the other hand...”

Willow giggled, “At least you can’t get drunk on me...”

Tara stepped into Willow’s space, reaching around to grab the redhead’s ass and pull them together at the hips. “Oh, I don’t know,” she whispered, moving her face in to rub noses and just barely brush her lips across Willow’s pink glossed mouth. “I find you very intoxicating...”

Tara waited until Willow’s eyes fluttered shut and she gave a shaky sigh, then the blonde witch dropped her arms and said, “Come on, let’s get breakfast.”

Willow’s eyes snapped open and she gasped, “Oh! You’re so mean to me!”

Tara laughed as she took her lover’s arm and headed for the door, “You amaze me, Willow! You can go hours and hours when we’re playing; but when we’re not, you’re the most impatient person I’ve ever met!”

Willow laughed as well. “Hey, I just want what I want, when I want it!”

Changing the subject, Tara said, “Dinner tonight’s going to be interesting, everyone’s going to be staring at Xander...”

“Oh yeah, we’re going to have to tease him royally!” Willow agreed.

“We have to be careful though, we don’t want to give anything away before Dawnie talks to him...” Tara cautioned.

“What do you mean?” Willow asked, sounding confused. “You don’t think he knows she’s talking to Buffy?”

Tara laughed out loud at that. “Oh sweetie!” she said, wiping a tear from her eye. “That’s priceless!”

“What?” Willow pouted at being laughed at.

“I’m sure Xander doesn’t even know that Dawn plans on them being together!” Tara said, closing the door to her new mansion behind them as they left.

========== BtVS ==========

“Ok Dawn, you’re wigging me out here,” Buffy’s voice broke into Dawn’s fugue state as she stared into the depths of her coffee.

“Huh? Oh, sorry,” the younger Summers muttered as she looked up at her sister.

They were at one of the outer tables at the Espresso Pump, the place unusually only half full on this late Saturday morning. Brunch consisted of two blueberry muffins and two double Grande mochas with whipped cream and sprinkles.

“You said you wanted to talk, and then you’re staring into your mocha there like you’re hypnotized!” Buffy complained. “I don’t think I’ve seen you this quiet for this long a time in my whole life!” she exaggerated.

“Oh ha, ha,” Dawn answered. “Seriously Buffy, stick to the slaying, cause I don’t think you’re gonna make it as a comic.”

‘That’s Xander’s job,’ she carefully didn’t say, though it was on the tip of her tongue. ‘I so have no idea how to bring this up without you going all psycho-Slayer-sister and running off to kill my soon-to-be-boyfriend...’ she lamented.

“Come on Dawn,” Buffy continued, more seriously. “I know we may not have ever been huge on the whole sister sharing thing... but that’s all in the past. We’re in the new and improved Scooby gang here, where we’re all about sharing and caring...”

Dawn tried not to laugh, one eyebrow climbing high above the other.

“Ok, that was corny, I admit,” Buffy said, looking a little sheepish. “Seriously though, one of the things Tara and Willow and I have really been working on is the whole, not-hiding-stuff thing. It’s hard sometimes, but I really think its been a lot better than the way we used to be...”

Dawn nodded. “Yeah, I have to admit, I think everyone is happier with not being all secrety and stuff... I’m just a little nervous that you’ll freak...” she trailed off.

‘Good one Dawn, tell her not to freak, thus guaranteeing that she will...’ she chastised herself.

“Just tell me Dawn. I promise not to freak.” Buffy said, a small smile on her face.

‘uh huh, I’ll believe that when... well I was gonna go with when hell freezes over, but I think that happened here a couple years ago already...’ Dawn’s mind meandered.

“Ok, um, well... there’s this guy...” Dawn began hesitantly.

“Who is he! I’ll kill him!” Buffy demanded.

‘Oh God!’ Dawn went wide eyed and her pulse doubled instantly as her fears were fulfilled.

Buffy laughed out loud, pointing at Dawn. “Ha! You should see your face!” she crowed. “I got you so bad!”

‘Ok, heart, back in chest, please,” Dawn thought, angry and relieved all at once. Her hands trembled with adrenaline as she picked up her coffee and took a long drink of the hot, sweet beverage.

“So not funny, Buffy,” she protested, glaring through narrowed eyes.

Buffy mock-pouted, “Aww, come on, I was just kidding.”

Dawn meliorated her glare a bit, still feeling the icy sensation along her spine. “Yeah, tell that to my heart...” she grumbled.

“Aww, I’m sorry Dawnie. Come on, tell me; so there’s a guy. Is he nice? Is he cute?” Buffy queried, seeming to get excited at the prospect of a girl-gossip session. “I do have to warn you, I’m not the best person for advice on guys though... my love life pretty much sucked till I switched teams...”

A combination of thoughts of Xander, coupled with the humorous truth of Buffy’s admission thawed the last of Dawn’s annoyance. “That’s no lie,” she agreed. “You always did have sucky taste in men...”

“Hey!” Buffy pouted.

“You said it yourself Buff,” Dawn pointed out.

“Yeah, but...” Buffy objected half-heartedly. “You don’t have to be so quick to agree...”

‘Hmm, the secret to distracting Buffy... get her to talk about herself,” Dawn realized, seeing how quickly the subject of ‘her guy’ had been forgotten, at least for the moment.

“I know you aren’t exactly in the market for ‘meat’ anymore,” Dawn started, getting a surprised look from her sister at the semi-risqué allusion. “but what would you look for in the ‘perfect’ guy? Perfect for you, I mean.”

“Oh, I don’t know Dawnie...” Buffy said, staring upward as she apparently gave the question some thought. “You know, the same as everyone wants, I guess... he should be nice, and sweet, and cute... strong... you know, good muscles; but not like a body builder or anything... he should definitely have a nice, firm butt!” she added, her hands making grasping motions.

Dawn laughed, but then chided, “Yeah, that’s what everyone wants, but what about what Buffy Summers... the Slayer?”

Buffy’s smile faltered. She closed her eyes and sat silently for a moment before answering. “Someone who I could trust. Someone who wouldn’t get all freaked out about me being the Slayer, *and* he wouldn’t try to be all macho and competitive...”

‘Poor Buffy,’ Dawn thought as her sister again grew silent, almost pensive. ‘I’m glad you never fell for Xander, cause then I wouldn’t be able to have him now, but you would have had a much happier time, I think, if you had...’

“Someone who could know all the worst stuff about me... the darkness in me... and still accept me... still love me...” Buffy whispered.

‘Aww,’ Dawn thought, moved by the emotion in her sister’s voice. She reached over and grabbed one of Buffy’s hands, squeezing reassuringly.

Buffy’s eyes fluttered open and she immediately wiped the moisture away from them. She put on a smile and said, “And I managed to find two of them, they just didn’t turn out to be men.”

Dawn smiled warmly, “I’m happy for you Buffy. I think Willow and Tara are the best.”

“They are!” Buffy agreed strongly, a wide, happy smile gracing her face.

“Just me personally; I don’t think a girl is what I’m looking for...” Dawn said, still grinning.

“Well, that’s ok,” Buffy said. “Honestly, I don’t think any girl other than Tara or Willow would ever interest me either...”

“Not even Faith?” Dawn asked teasingly.

Buffy blushed deeply and looked away. “I, uh, I don’t know what you mean,” she stammered unconvincingly.

‘Yeah, right!’ Dawn thought with an evil smile. ‘You’re so lucky that I don’t want to upset you right now, or I’d be taking a long look at you and Faith right now...’ Dawn thought regretfully.

“Besides, I thought we were talking about your new boyfriend...” Buffy said, obviously trying to divert the subject away from Faith related attraction.

“How come you never went for Xander?” Dawn asked, again redirecting Buffy’s attention.

“Xander?” Buffy asked in surprise. “Whaddya mean?”

“He didn’t freak out about vampires, or about you being the Slayer... he knew all kinds of stuff about you; good and bad, and still stuck around. He was nice, and trustworthy, and funny, and cute...” Dawn said, trying to keep her tone one of casual interest only.

‘and strong, and masculine, and he smells good, and his eyes are so beautiful...’ Dawn continued her list in her head. ‘God, he’s just so... so... Mmm, yummy-looking!’

“He was... he is,” Buffy admitted thoughtfully.

‘Mmm, I bet he tastes good too...’ Dawn thought, still lost in a Xander-fantasy. She gave her head a little shake and thought, ‘Focus Dawn! Buffy doesn’t really need to know I’m dreaming of licking Xander’s whole body like an ice-cream cone... I’m thinking it wouldn’t be good for his heath.’

“I guess there’s lots of reasons,” Buffy went on, thankfully oblivious to Dawn’s little mental side-trip. “I was really into Angel back then... plus Willow was pretty fixated on him, and I’d have really hurt her if I went after him...”

“Yeah, that would have been awkward...” Dawn said sympathetically.

“You know, I think the biggest thing... I just never looked at Xander like that,” Buffy said with a tone of certainty. “I mean, I could see what Willow saw in him, but for me there was just no... I dunno, no sparkage or whatever you wanna call it. I love Xander, he’s a really great friend and I would never want to lose that, but I guess I just never saw him as anything more-than-friendly... you know?”

“I guess,” Dawn said aloud. In her thoughts she was more truthful, ‘I don’t get that at all!’

“Anyway,” Buffy said, changing the subject. “I thought you wanted to talk about ‘this guy’ you mentioned...”

‘Fluttery stomach makes a comeback,” Dawn thought.

“Well, you see Buffy, we kinda are...” she said tentatively.

Buffy blinked slowly several times, then tilted her head slightly and said, “Huh?”

========== BtVS ==========

“Hey Jessie,” Xander said softly as he kicked some leaves away from the grass in front of the small grave marker and sitting down. “I know we just talked last week, but now I’ve got another problem that I can’t talk to anyone about...”

He looked around the secluded corner of the graveyard where Jessie’s parents had put up a small memorial to the son that disappeared from their lives, never to be seen again. ‘I wish I could have told them, but they would never have believed me,’ he thought once again, as he always did when coming here. ‘It took them two years to finally give up hope and move on with their lives...’

Shaking his head at the futility of that line of thinking, Xander continued his quiet conversation with his best friend’s headstone. “I guess it’s ironic, last week it was having to murder someone to save the world, and this week it’s back to girl problems again...” he said with a self-deprecating laugh.

“Funny, I found this girl that helped me with the murder thing, but now she’s the problem!” he groaned, rubbing his hands tiredly across his face. “I’ve known her for, like, ever... she’s beautiful, smart... and lately I’ve suddenly realized that she’s really sexy. Oh, and I’m pretty sure she’s got a big ‘ol crush on the Xanman...”

A brief chuckle escaped his lips and he added, “Yeah, I know. We had this conversation almost three years ago... but this time it’s not Willow, and the problem isn’t that she’s seeing another guy... not that Willow is even into guys these days. That’s another story all together. No, this time she’s single, I’m single... we seem to like each other...”

“I was having nightmares again last night... just like every night since I... since it happened. Oh, and I lost my employed status yesterday cause I was falling asleep on the job again, so there’s some more stress in my life... Anyway, I’m sitting on the couch feeling sorry for myself... yeah, again... and then she’s there. I think my nightmare woke her up, even though she says it didn’t. But she knew about my nightmares... about why I’ve been having them. She told me that... and I freaked! I was so sure she’d never want to see me again...”

“She knew what I did, but she was afraid I hated *her* for it... ‘cause she knew that I kinda did it for her... I mean I did it for the whole saving the world thing; but at the end when I almost couldn’t do it, when saving the world wasn’t enough... I did it for her. I remembered what Glory would do if she ever came back, and that was enough to make me do it.”

“I was so afraid she’d hate me for being a murderer... but she was there for me, bro. I’m waiting for her to start screaming at me and instead she literally got on her knees and thanked me for saving her life... no, not like that... yeah, it was the first thing I thought of too...”

Xander shook his head briskly at the erotic mental images that instantly filled his head once again. “Yeah, I know, she’s perfect- knows my deep dark secret and is totally cool with it... in fact, she knows for herself pretty much exactly what I’m going through... We fell asleep on the couch and I didn’t have any more nightmares all night. It’s the first good sleep I’ve had in a week!”

“So, what the hell’s my problem? My problem is she’s fifteen. She’s the Slayer’s little sister! I’m like some kind of freak-pervert, falling for Buffy’s little sister! I’m so going to die the moment Buffy finds out... and I just can’t keep it secret, man. Every time I see her, my eyes are, like, glued to her. She’s all I think about; well, that and how Buffy or her lovers might kill me when they find out. And that’s if her mom or Giles don’t kill me first, either way I’m screwed, and not in the good way.”

“You should see her Jessie. She’s so damn beautiful. She does not look like she’s fifteen! She doesn’t act like it either... I mean, she’s almost sixteen but if you didn’t know her you’d totally think she was, I don’t know, like she’s in college at least! Of course I know it doesn’t matter. I should just get over it, ‘cause it’s never going to work... I keep telling myself that, but then I find myself thinking about her, or watching her, or coming up with ways that it could work...”

He sat silently for a moment, just staring at the air in front of him. “Oh God, there has to be something wrong with me, I can’t ever do the right thing when it comes to women!” he lamented, covering his face with his hands. “I feel so stupid... I ignore Willow for, like ever... fall in love with Buffy, who’s so clearly beyond me. Then I fall for women who turn out to be demon insects, or killer mummies... Cordy and I hooked up and all we did was fight and make out. She dumped me on Valentines Day and what do I do? I get someone cast a spell that makes every girl who *isn’t* Cordelia in Sunnydale obsess about me... to the point of wanting to kill me rather than let anyone else have me; that was fun times! Cordy took me back just in time for me to figure out that Willow was a beautiful, sexy girl. More fun and near death injuries when we got caught with the unauthorized smoochies; plus it almost ruined mine and Will’s friendship... I lost my virginity to Faith, who threw me out of her room right after, leaving me confused, ashamed and, well, sticky...”

“Anya, Anya, Anya... Don’t get me wrong, the sex was amazing... but it’s like, that’s all it was. God, I feel like an idiot! I was so completely pissed at myself when I finally figured it out; it’s like she was the man, and I was the woman. She seduced me, wanted to do it constantly, and was completely insensitive to my, or anyone else’s feelings... I even tried to change her; I constantly nagged her to try and make her behave the way I wanted... just like a stereotypical woman! I suppose I should just have given in and started wearing dresses!” he grumbled. “We were together for almost a year, and with a couple exceptions, all I have to show for it is regret...”

His low voice dropped to a hoarse whisper as he continued, “I just want something real; I want to be with someone I can love, and who can love me back. Something where we both know all the deep dark secrets about each other, and it’s cool- and we don’t try to change each other...” He laughed bitterly as he finished his thought. “And this is how reality punishes me once again- I actually meet that girl, and she’s my former crush’s underage sister!”

“So, what am I supposed to do, Jess?” he asked.

Moments passed in relative silence.

‘Yeah, I guess whatever the answer is, it ain’t sittin' on my ass feelin' sorry for myself and talking to an empty grave,’ he thought, pushing himself to his feet. He was distracted suddenly when he heard something nearby. ‘What was that?’ he thought sharply, looking around to try and place the noise. ‘It sounded like something sliding...’

His years of graveyard patrols caused his skin to crawl between his shoulder blades.

When no repetition of the sound occurred he shook his head, thinking, ‘Sun’s shining, Xander. You’re being paranoid even for you...’

He took one more look at the headstone and said, “Bye Jessie, I miss you bro,” before turning and walking away.

========== BtVS ==========

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