Re: Control W/B nc17 (edgy and naughty)

[danspector@xxxxxxxxx]

Tammy/Red,

First of all, welcome back.  It's good to see you posting here again.

Secondly, I loved "Make it Stop".  Willow's pain (and Xander's pain,
which if he had a subconscious memory would explain a lot about his
staying away from Willow and only being interested in "girls he can't
hurt"which was a great disservice to Cordelia, but I digress) was
truly heartbreaking, and I empathized with Buffy's struggle to find a
way to help her friend.

And the sex in "Control" was definitely white-hot&

But& (you could tell there was a "but" coming, right?)

I'm beginning to wonder exactly what help this is to Willow, if every
time she has a negative moment, it leads to hot sex with Buffy.  Yes, I
can see the benefit of using Buffy's "punishment" to sublimate her
darker impulses as Will struggles on the road to mental health.  Yes, I
can understand the erotic nature of pain/pleasure play between
consenting adults.  But it looks like this is an unhealthy mixture of
the two.  I mean, where is Willow's incentive to get better here?
Where's the indication that she's struggling to learn to deal with her
memories in a healthy way, to rid herself of the urge to hurt herself,
to be able to move forward?  

As things stand, every time Willow has a difficult moment, she doesn't
deal with it herself, she lets Buffy give her an "acceptable" version to
protect her.  This would be a bad enough crutch, IMO, but since this
invariably leads to hot'n'heavy sex, Willow seems to be happy with the
status, perhaps even actively seeking it out.  Indeed, it feels like
she's actually "acting out", testing her borders, to get *harsher*
punishments (as in "Control" or the previously-referenced episode where
she asked Buffy to violently beat her) because the sex is that much
better.  I can't see any long-term benefit there.

And it's not just Willow who's a messBuffy is at her nerve's end over
this, and has to constantly medicate herself to get through it.  And
even though she knows Willow wants this, may even be provoking this, the
idea of hurting Willow still terrifies and pains her.  And what must
Giles think, seeing his Slayer having to tear herself up and drug
herself to deal with Willow?  What kind of mess must Xander be, with all
these constant reminders of what his father did and is, dredged up
apparently as foreplay?  How annoyed must Anya be, having Willow sending
everyone scurrying like mice, seeing Xander wracked by guilt, having to
take Dawn in (and thus kill her and Xander's own sex life) and knowing
that all this drama invariaby ends in Willow having really hot sex, and
that Willow is on some level doing this on purpose?  How painful must it
be for Dawn to be tossed out of her own house without even clothes or a
toothbrush, and knowing (if she does) that it's just so Willow can get
Buffy to "hurt" her in the good way?

(And no, the fact that my mind flashed to Dawn working off her annoyance
by seducing Anya in Xander's bathroomstarting off by "accidentally"
squirting toothpaste all over Anya's pajama top and ending up with Dawn
eating out Anya as Anya's bent over upside-down with her head in the
clawfoot bathtub and her ass on the rimdoes NOT really excuse the
more realistic psychological questions here <g>)

Perhaps I'm entirely wrong here.  Perhaps someone with actual experience
in psychology (DEM?  James? Jenny?) will correct me.  But I can't see
the disincentive for Willow's bad behavior here.  I can't see a reason
for her to change, and thus ultimately, as hot as "Control" is, it looks
like to me like one more lap on a downward spiral.

And it is, of course, a testament to your writing that you can make me
think about these things, so keep it up.

Thanks,

Dan

PSI really would like to hear what others think, both about the fic
and my thoughts.  (And, generally, the list has been a little slack
about fb lately, so come on!   Feed the bards!)


Willow: "It's a good fight, Buffy, and I want in."
Buffy:  "I kinda love you."
                     'Choices'

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