TITLE: The Prophecy (Completed, posted in 6 parts for ease of opening) 1/6
SERIES: 1st in 'She Slays Me' series
AUTHOR: Silverna (silverna_wolfe@xxxxxxxxx)
DISCLAIMER: All characters belong to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy. I don't own anything. Literally. Got any change?
SUMMARY: When Anya accidentally discovers an ancient and important-sounding Prophecy, the Scoobys come together to avert yet another Apocalypse. But does The Prophecy mean what they th
ink it means? Does Anya ever shut up? Does Giles ever stop polishing his glasses? Does Xander say something cheeky? And most importantly do Buffy and
PAIRINGS: Buffy/
HUMOR ALERT: This fanfic is the weird mix of tongue-in-cheek humor and seriousness that I myself like so much. It may not be your cup of tea. I classify it as a humordrama.
RATING: PG13 I guess. There's nothing overly hot in this first of the series (that comes later) but there is some swearing and alluding to swearing. Not really beyond what Anya would a
ctually say on the show, though ;) That's the level of innuendo we're aiming for here.
SPOILERS: Anything up to and including season 6. Takes place awhile after 'Once More With Feeling' but totally deviates from the show's plotline thereon out. In other words, everyone k
nows Buffy was in 'heaven'.
DISTRIBUTION: Free for all but please notify me via email.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: This is the first and complete part to what I plan to be an ongoing series called, 'She Slays Me'. Although it has its origins in the show, it will deviate from thereon
after. I want to explore the Buffy/Willow relationship in its many dimensions and I want their romantic dimension to grow slowly and believably. I should note that I'm fond of all the show's characters and I don't plan on bashing any. That includes Tara whom
The Prophecy (1/6)
"Good Lord," Giles sputtered, looking shocked. The Scooby Gang all exchanged sidelong knowing glances as he took his glasses off to clean them.
They were gathered around the table at the Magic Box, Xander and Anya,
"So what is it this time?" asked Xander nervously. "Impending Apocalypse number thirty-two? Glory's twin sister coming to town? Some political figure trying to become an immortal worm?"
"Much, much worse." Giles cleared his throat and didn't look any of them quite in the eye. "The Prophecy seems to indicate that the Force Of Goodness - I'm assuming that means you, Buffy, will encounter a series of trials."
"I've heard this tune," complained the Slayer, pouting slightly. "It sounds Watchery and not at all appealing."
"Well the Watcher's Council has nothing to with it this time," explained Giles. "The villain in question is termed The Magick Woman and she supposedly will successfully drown, burn and er consume the ah Force Of Goodness."
Anya stuck her hand up and waved it in the air. "Consume as in eat? Because she sounds like a Lakini demon. They like their prey drowned and then well done. Makes the human flesh all tender."
"Er yes," Giles sounded appalled. "It could well be. Anyway The Prophecy goes on..."
"Oh dear God," said Xander in half-mock, half-serious horror, "there's more on the food preparation?"
"As I was saying," said Giles, "The Prophecy indicates that the Slayer will die..."
"That's what happens when someone eats you," offered Anya in her best helpful voice.
Everyone reacted to that badly.
"Wow, Giles, that's quite The Prophecy. Nothing about the Force Of Goodness being all forceful and kicking the bejesus out of the big hungry Brocalini?"
"Well it's not really clear," said the Watcher, running his finger down the page.
"Is it ever?" muttered Xander, sotto voice.
Giles continued. "Let's see, let me translate this bit...the Force Of Goodness will go through the raging
torrent, she will be burned alive in the fire, she will scale the final mountain, break through the impenetrable defense and she will die. Oh. Dear me."
"Not liking this," burst in
"So not," echoed Dawn reaching out to cling to Buffy's arm in limpet-like fashion. "You won't, will you?"
Before Buffy could reassure her sister Anya interrupted again in typical Anya fashion. "She probably will. Like I said that's what happens when you get eaten. I think the Prophecy is very convincing. And authentic. It's from a highly reliable source."
"Shhh!" warned Xander, so wishing Anya would butt out of it for once. This was not the time for her remarks. "Don't listen to my crazy girlfriend, people. We all know Prophecy's aren't written in stone."
"The Arcanius File is," pointed out Anya. "And the ten commandments..." Xander slapped his hand over her mouth in desperation.
"Xander's right," agreed Buffy, giving her longstanding friend a slight smile. "Prophecy's have been wrong before. We'll just research these
"Or they'll eat yours," remarked Anya.
"Anya!" snapped Giles. "I need that new shipment that we stored downstairs and I need you to go and get it now."
"I'm just saying," whined the ex-demon. "The buttocks is one of the more tender and tasty parts of the human body. Quite a delicacy actually among the flesh-eating denizens of hell. Why, I remember this one party I went to, waaay back in ‘42..."
"NOW!" thundered Giles. His face was pale and a vein was throbbing in the side of his neck. "I need you to get those supplies now." With a shrug Anya flounced off leaving the Scooby's in uncomfortable silence.
Eventually Buffy spoke up. "Let's get into research mode, then. When's The Prophecy supposed to happen, Giles?"
"Ah tonight," said her Watcher, putting the book down only to start cleaning his glasses again in obvious agitation. "We really could have done with more warning." They all looked at each other in growing dread.
* * * * *
Buffy breezed in the door of the Magic Box, weapon bag packed and ready with supplies for what she suspected would be a long, hard night of slayage and potential dying. She eyed the Scoobys who were scattered around the shop in various modes of research. That is except for Anya who was counting the cash in the ti
ll.
"Hi guys." Buffy said, striding over to the table and seating herself. "Any luck on the Killkini demon’s likes and dislikes? I feel ready for a major slay."
Beneath her breezy and put on attitude she noted that she wasn't really feeling much of anything. Since coming back from 'heaven' she never really experienced life anymore. It felt like there was a 'moment' and she was always just outside it, looking in, not particularly interested. It was like apathy and pain mi
xed together to create a gaping, sucking hole in her chest where her heart used to be. It was worse than being dead.
Everyone knew and no-one could talk much about it or even understand it. Not even
Because of the results of her resurrection, she and
It was why she welcomed Spike's cold and deadly embrace. He hurt her and it made her feel cold and there and in the 'moment' and punished for all the things she had that she didn't deserve.
She'd let so many people die.
She didn't want to be back.
She hurt all her friends, all her family and she was still hurting them.
She so didn't want to be back. Even for them.
At least when she hurt Spike, it didn't matter. Much.
Maybe some of her dark thoughts flashed across her face because she noticed that her two original friends were looking at her strangely. Xander was frowning and
"What?" Buffy asked weakly. "Why are you guys looking at me funny?"
"Buffy!" Giles came down from the upper level and interrupted the moment. "These Lakini demons are flesh-eaters alright. But they have one serious weakness. They're allergic to er...perspiration."
"Huh?" said Buffy, welcoming the distraction and the information. "You're kidding me."
"Men sweat, women glow," intoned Xander, nodding seriously.
"Uhuh," said Buffy rolling her eyes. To Giles she asked, "what am I supposed to do? Go sit in a sauna and fill up a holy water bottle to toss the smelly stuff their way? Gross!"
"But a fair idea," said Giles. "Much better than mine which was to go train and then wipe yourself off with a highly absorbent paper towel. Then you could wipe that on the er demon."
Buffy stared at him mutely.
"You could get into a sweaty naughty tangle with the demon," suggested Xander with a leer. "Sleeping with the Enemy." He suddenly shuddered. "No, no, that joke fell horribly flat. Sleeping with a demon? Yuck! Please cover my mental eyes?"
"Yuck?!" said Anya, outraged. "You say 'yuck' to sex with me? That's not what you said when we were..."
"You're an EX-demon, honey," burst in her boyfriend quickly. "I have nothing against sleeping with Exes. Ex-demons that is."
Anya sat back slightly mollified.
"Neither do I," said Buffy. When everybody stopped to stare at her she let her big secret slip. What did it matter if they knew? The guilt was too much to go on with and she was probably going to die soon anyway. That would be such a relief.
"I'm sleeping with Spike." There, she had said it. Now she risked a tentative glance in her sister's direction. If Dawn's mouth had been open any wider she would have had an apple in it. So far, exactly as expected. Next, she tried looking at
"You're what?"
"Holy Crapmoley, that's...that's...that's...SICK!" Xander sounded sick and angry. He jumped to his feet and actually faced off with the Slayer. "I can't believe you're with that bastard, that dead...thing. How could you?"
"It is surprising," piped up Anya, from behind the cash register. "Although you do have that thing for vampires. That makes it less surprising."
"Oh Buffy," Giles also stepped towards his Slayer, however he sounded sympathetic. His face was pinched with shock and growing realisation of his surrogate daughter's precarious state of mind.
Buffy stared blankly at them all, her friends, her supporters and accusers. She realised that she didn't care what they thought. So they were disappointed? What did that matter? She was always disappointing someone. Soon she would be dead and that would make things less disappointing in some weird, twisted way th
at she didn't want to think too hard about.
"I don't love him" she said, her voice sounding far away to her own ears. "I'm using him but I'll stop...soon. I mean, I've tried to stop. Can...can we talk about this later? I need to know about the Monmeanie demons now. I just thought I should tell you all the truth, is all. In case...just in case."