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STORM WATCH
By Silverna (silverna_wolfe@xxxxxxxxx)
This is in answer to the Wiffy-Board’s monthly theme: Thunderstorms. Buffy/
DISCLAIMER: Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy own Buffy and Co. Grizzle, Argh! No profit intended or made in any currency whatsoever.
RATING: NC17
SPOILERS: Set mid season 4 but by no means sticking to canon.
IMPORTANT NOTES: Just afew things all reading this should know.
1) This is PWP but without that focus – the focus is humor! Weird and maybe sick humor but as long as somebody’s laughing this has achieved its’ fun, relaxing purpose.
2) Riley and Angel are out of canon-character for the jokes they are involved in. Think the Riley from so many fanfics who is some sort of bad guy, seducing the Slayer so that he can please the Initiative in every way. And think of Angel as being slightly self-obsessed and just a tad gay. (Watched Luminosity & Sisabet’s ‘Whatever’ vid on Angel recently – great stuff!) Oh yes, you might note that Anya is different from her usual self too for parody purposes.
***
Lightning flickered outside the bedroom window. For a brief moment the figures on the bed were silhouetted.
Two girls, kissing, touching each other intimately.
One with blonde hair and slate grey eyes, staring with desperate passion up into the fervent green gaze of her counterpart.
"Tell me what you want," the witch whispered and her voice was cool, demanding. Not like her normal Willow-voice at all. "Tell me. I want to hear you beg for more."
Thunder rolled through the air. It built in a crescendo and seemed to linger for one timeless moment...
"I want you," gasped out Buffy, "to touch me...inside...ah!"
***
"OH MY GOD." This was Riley Finn to Dr Maggie Walsh as they watched the proceedings from the comfort of one of the Initiative's labs. "Oh my God. She's gay."
"But you can crack her." Dr Walsh made it sound like Buffy was just waiting to be turned. "Don't underestimate the power of six feet plus of hard masculine...hardness. Your babyish good looks and countrified charm will win her over."
"Babyish?" Riley sounded horrified. He stood and peered into the monitor, no longer watching his 'target girlfriend' and her lover but rather trying to see his own reflection.
"Why," said Dr Walsh with a sigh, "who indeed could resist the soft hardness of your forked chin? The fine, so fine, wedge of your nose..." She started fanning herself.
Riley was so shocked by this unintelligible commentary that he turned on his mentor, forgetting his rank for the moment.
"My say what? What?! What are you saying? My what?"
"Ease up, man, that's an order!" Maggie stood too and took an intimidating step towards her charge. Her gaze was predatory. She reached out one hand to clinically touch his pec.
"Soldier, you're far too tense. Ease up I say!"
Riley tensed even more.
***
"It's simple really." Giles showed Anya and Xander the scrying bowl. "Now that we've located this Bowl of the All-Seeing Eye, we can find Buffy at any time. I shall demonstrate. Just as well really - she's on patrol and I want to make sure she's safe; not thrown off at all by this dreadful storm."
"Biggest one in ten years. Heard it on the idiot box," contributed Xander.
"I don't like it," said Anya as they watched Giles filling the scrying bowl with water and waving a charm over it, much as a hypnotist would wave a watch. "It makes your basement smell like a dumpster. I can't have sex in a dumpster. That's dirty."
"Here we go," inserted Giles, sounding quite chipper. "The image is coming into focus - here, come and look."
They all gathered around and looked.
It was a largish scrying bowl - the size of a kiddy pool really and the picture was crystal clear.
Buffy screaming incoherently.
"Oh no!" said Giles. "Something is not right!"
The picture moved out a little and the cause for the screaming gradually became apparent.
There was a redhead attached via mouth to Buffy's naked breast. Said redhead was buck naked and pressed closely into various other parts of the naked Slayer. They were...moving...and...moaning...alot.
"DEAR LORD!" Giles was flabbergasted.
"It can't be," gasped Xander, "but it is. It is and I got to see it and now I can die happy. And before I die I can replay this mentally, over and over and over again. Over and over."
"What are they doing?" asked Anya.
***
Outside the dorm window, clinging desperately to a madly swaying tree in an effort not to stake himself on the nearby branches, was Spike.
He wasn't sure what was motivating him to make this insane spying trip - maybe it was that dream he'd had of Buffy bucking beneath him or maybe he just wanted some inside info to help in plotting his next attempt to kill the Slayer and Friends.
He entrenched himself in a fork and scrambled around for a cigarette. Then he remembered the wind and rain and wisely gave up. Standing to his feet gingerly, he laid his weight out along a nearby branch and peered into the window...
Buffy was doing a handstand on the bed. And
"BLOODY HELL!" he cried and fell out of the tree.
***
"So...how was it?"
She lay, embracing the Slayer from behind, under the covers of their nice warm bed.
She looked up at the lingering rain, now much lighter, making a pleasing, almost relaxing pitter patter against the pane. The storm was dying down.
"I am wiped out," Buffy smirked into her ear. "That was so what I needed. The fuck of a lifetime."
"Buffy!" Shy
"Okay, sorry, I know you don't like that word...except when you're on top and it's coming out of your delectable lips." Buffy rolled over and kissed said lips smartly. "And you know I don't mean anything by it except that we were really, really, and can I say, really, passionate. Must have been the thunderstorm."
"Yeah."
"Mmm," said Buffy. "So shall we go again? 'Cause I don't need the thunderstorm..."
***
Outside the bedroom door, Angel gasped.
He didn't make a very intimidating figure just at present, being as his large and muscular frame was hunched over uncomfortably as he peered desperately through the keyhole.
Perhaps that's why the indiscriminate college guy wearing the red shirt didn't think twice before remarking on his way past,
"Check out the ass! Leather really does it for me, man."
Of course, the college guy could have been quite drunk as well.
"Really?" Angel straightened up with a sudden flashy grin. He looked over his shoulder at his own butt in an admiring kind of way. "You don't think the leather pants are a bit much?"
"Not on you, dude," slurred College Guy. "You're like, so Goth, man. It's waaay Gothic. But uh maybe your hair..."
"What about my hair?" Angel sounded very worried. He was understandably insecure about his 'do, what with not having access to a mirror.
"Hey, whatcha lookin' at?"
"Whoa, check out the lesbians. Hot, very hot."
"LESBIANS?!" Angel sounded shocked out of his combat boots.
He hurriedly shoved Drunk College Guy aside, accidentally knocking him unconscious against the nearby wall, courtesy of his superior strength. No-one had ever measured the extent of that strength, which was lucky, as it enabled him to maim and kill threats of ever-increasing size in an explainable fashion.
Ah yes, he could make out Buffy and
Probably checking for injuries guessed Angel. Or giving a super-duper massage and paying attention to the details. Or ah...now Buffy's mouth appeared to be...on
Well whatever they were doing they were NOT having sex. They were obviously...close and close friends sometimes...touched and oh yes! Performed pagan rituals! That's probably what this was all about.
Angel stood up and dusted an invisible speck off his duster feeling alot better. Lesbians! The idea!
Buffy was still hung up over him. And really, who could blame her because he was HOT.
One of these days he'd have to pay her a visit where she actually got to see him...yeah, they'd have them some fun.
He swaggered down the hall and into the drizzle outside.
The thunderstorm was over.
FINIS
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