FIC: Nymphomaniac Fantasia - Part 3a

["jin hayte" <jinhayte@xxxxxxxxxxx>]

Ok...so I accidentaly sent it to BLW the first time. now, let's get this 
right...

This is Part 3a, to be followed by 3b and 3c

* * *

TITLE: Part 3 - Fumbling Towards Ecstasy

SERIES: Nymphomaniac Fantasia

AUTHOR: Jin Hayte

FEEDBACK: Hell yeah! I LOVE feedback! Either here or at jinhayte@xxxxxxxxxxx 
Good or bad, I don't mind, as long as it's constructive.

SPOILER WARNING: None

SUMMARY: Set directly after Astral Romance, the conclusion of Nymphomaniac 
Fantasia shows how Buffy deals with her new knowledge.

DISCLAIMER: Buffy, Willow, Xander, Giles and all the other characters in the 
syndicated TV-show Buffy The Vampire Slayer belong to Joss Whedon and Mutant 
Enemy etc, etc. I do NOT own any of the official characters, their names or 
their backgrounds. This story, however, is mine.

DISTRIBUTION: http://www.angelsfallfirst.tk
If you want it, ask and we'll see

RATING: NC-17

COUPLES: B/W

NOTES: This third and last part was originally called 'Satin Sheets', but 
due to story changes, that title is no longer valid. Just so no one's 
confused.
This part is also more light-hearted than the previous parts. While there 
are moderate amounts of angst, I wanted to give the story a bright and happy 
ending.

THANKS TO: Mad-Hamlet for his C&Cs. Muchly appreciated.

* * *

Her body was covered in sweat, the clothes she had neglected to take off a 
few hours ago clinging tightly to her skin, her breathing laboured and her 
eyes still not adjusted to the dark; big white spots were flying around in 
front of her. Buffy frowned. She had woken up in a blinding white light. She 
blinked her eyes, trying to see through the darkness, to calm down.

'What have I been dreaming?' she thought to herself. 'Why am I so worked 
up?'

After blinking the spots out of her eyes, she looked around and was able to 
make out her friend's silhouette on the other bed. Willow was sitting up, 
her chest heaving from her heavy breathing.

Buffy frowned as a small aching registered in her brain. Her arms were 
stretched out behind her, her hands clenching the sheet hard.

'Oh,' she thought, easing up on her grip. She leaned forward, running her 
fingers through her damp hair.

This wasn't the first time she had woken up in this fashion; drenched in 
sweat, panting heavily and with no memory of the dream. The memories from 
the dream would always come back though - sooner or later - and every time 
it was wonderful to remember what she had in the dream but at the same 
painful to realize that she couldn't have it in real life.

This was the first time she had woken at the same time as Willow. Well, 
except for that horribly embarrassing night a month ago, when Willow had 
woken her up, mid-erotic-dream.

'God, that was so embarrassing.' Buffy thought.

She hadn't been able to look her best friend in the face for days, even 
though Willow had no idea what Buffy had been dreaming about.

'At least I hope not.'

Buffy, her breathing not calming by much, looked at her friend to find 
Willow, her chest still heaving, panting for breath, was returning the 
Slayer's stare. Buffy flinched as they made eye contact, even though she 
knew that her friend couldn't see her in the dark. Never the less, she was 
startled.

"Willow?" she gasped.

One heartbeat, two heartbeats, and nothing but silence. She was about to 
repeat her friend's name when the reply came.

"Yeah, Buffy?" Willow's voice was calm.

"Wha-?" Buffy started but was abruptly cut off as flashes of memory from the 
dream came to her.

Buffy and Willow was standing in the middle of the street, with the Slayer 
leaning close to the redhead's ear.

When Buffy pulled back, Willow smirked and said "I bet you can, you little 
minx".

Buffy smiled back, "Yup, and you love me for it!" she said with much gusto, 
before leaning in again and placing her lips on the redhead's own.

Buffy and Willow were in their dorm, lying on the witch's bed. Buffy was 
cradling her teary eyed lover, a smile on her face.

"We are one," She whispered, placing a kiss on Willow's nose.

Willow's eyebrows scrunched together in confusion.

"Don't worry. I'm here. I love you," With that, Buffy kissed her fully on 
the lips.

Everything around her was coloured a murky shade of red. The walls, the 
sofa, the floor, her Willow. Two white lilies on the table were the only 
thing that wasn't affected by the settling sun.

"Do you love me?" Buffy asked, her tear-streaked face planted in her hands. 
She didn't look at her girlfriend.

"You know I do," came the warm and loving reply that actually managed to 
ease the pain a little.

"I wonder what they're gonna say..." Buffy mused.

"Don't worry, it doesn't matter," Willow replied, indicating with her finger 
that she wanted Buffy on top of her.

Smiling, Buffy crawled up her lover's body, straddling her waist. "Do you 
love me?" she asked.

Willow leaned up. "You know I do," she said right before fusing their lips 
together.

"What?"

"It's nothing, really. I'm just-"

"Just what?"

"It's just, I'm so happy. Being with you."

"Do you love me?"

"You know I do."

"Do you love ME?"

"Buffy, we ARE one. I love you, ALL of you."

"I love you too."

"We're together now. Forever. I promise."

The flashes lasted but a millisecond each, but they melted together, forming 
a clear view of the dream, until she finally remembered everything. Her 
dreams about the redhead had always been intense, powerful. But this was 
different, somehow. It was never so detailed, never were so many words 
spoken. And she always felt slightly cold, and alone, when she woke up. Now 
she was filled with warmth. And there was something else, like she wasn't 
alone. Well, she wasn't, Willow was sitting a few feet away, but in her 
head; she felt a presence in her head, pushing softly at the edges of her 
consciousness.

"Will, what's going on?" Buffy asked, wiping some sweat from her face.

"Umm..." came Willow's hesitant response. "W-well, what do you remember?"

"Uh, m-my dream. It's...did you see?" Buffy turned so that she was facing 
her friend. A shiver went through her as her feet touched the chilly floor. 
"My dream, I mean," she clarified.

"Well...yeah," Willow answered slowly.

Buffy gulped, embarrassed and confused. "How?" she quietly asked.

Willow fell silent for a moment. 'Dammit! What do I say?'. She leaned over 
to her bedside table and turned on the lamp, wanting to see her best friend, 
but it also gave her time to think.

'Ok, so the spell wasn't wrong, it's not like it's dangerous or something.' 
Willow thought. 'And it wouldn't even have worked if Buffy had refused to 
let her in.'

Sitting back down, she looked up but quickly averted her eyes when she met 
Buffy's intense stare. 'But, my recent track record with magic isn't exactly 
the best. And Buffy doesn't really trust my magic to be reliable...though 
she doesn't say it out loud. Ok, time to say something!'

"Umm, I did a spell," she answered tentatively as she crossed her legs 
underneath her, facing Buffy. "A spell to see dreams."

A multitude of feelings hit Buffy at that reply; embarrassment, confusion, 
anger. Again, she was embarrassed by what the redhead had seen. And why 
would the redhead want to see her dream, anyway? She also felt some 
irrational anger at the intrusion, though one could argue that it was 
completely rational.

"Oh, no!" Willow quickly added when she saw the look on Buffy's face. 
"Buffy, the spell's harmless. It wouldn't even have worked if you hadn't 
allowed me to enter." She pleaded with her eyes for her friend to understand 
that she hadn't meant any harm.

Buffy swallowed, nodding slowly. "Why?" she continued her questioning.

"Oh, ok." Willow rubbed her hands nervously on her knees, her eyes locked on 
her lap.

'This is it.' she thought.

"Remember about a month ago, when I woke you up in the middle of the night?" 
she asked, quickly looking at the Slayer then looking down at her lap again.

"I figured you were having a nightmare, so I thought it was strange by how 
embarrassed you were the next few days. That's why I never woke you up 
again, cause I didn't want you to be uncomfortable. Well, until a couple of 
weeks ago. You were having a really bad dream, at least that's what I 
thought, so I was gonna wake you up again."

Willow was shaking and sweating, she was so nervous. Taking a deep breath, 
she continued.

"But before I could, you..." she trailed off, not able to say it. 'Came, 
screamed in ecstasy, had an orgasm. Geez, Willow, just say it!'

"Well, you had an...you know, an..." she hesitated.

Buffy nodded her understanding, her eyes locked on her own lap, hiding her 
flustered face behind her blonde locks.

"And then, you ah, well you screamed my name!" Willow squeaked, voicing the 
experience for the first time affecting her a lot. "And, I didn't know what 
to do, I was just so shocked. I mean, when your best friend has a-an erotic 
dream about you, what are you supposed to do?" she asked rhetorically.

Buffy kept her eyes down, her face burning up.

"Anyway," Willow stammered "Since that night, I haven't been able...I've had 
all these feelings...I was so confused, didn't know what I...I just had to 
find out...so I did the spell."

She looked up at the blonde, waiting for a response. When none came, she 
forced herself to continue. "And, things just kinda got clear. I realized," 
Willow slid off the bed and sat down on her knees in front of Buffy, 
tentatively placing her hands on the Slayer's knees, the Slayer's clothed 
state only now registering with her.

"How much you mean to me. How much you've always meant to me. Buffy...I-" a 
harsh intake of breath from Buffy's side stopped Willow mid-sentence.

Buffy breathed out slowly, trying to calm down her racing heart. She 
couldn't believe what she was hearing.

'Willow's...she's saying she loves me? I've dreamt of this moment for so 
long and it's finally happening? Is this real?' Buffy thought incredulously.

She had never thought it would happen. Ever. And now that it was, a part of 
her wanted nothing else but to embrace her friend, confess her own love for 
her and kiss her senseless. But another part, the part of her that tended to 
win these emotional battles, that part panicked. And it won this time too.

"I-I have to get some air" she said, not looking at Willow, just getting up 
from the bed, grabbing her leather jacket from the chair and storming out 
the door, ignoring Willow's "Buffy, wait!". She ran.

* * *

She didn't know how far she ran, but when she stopped, her body was on fire, 
her lungs barely getting any air, her heart almost bursting out of her 
chest. She collapsed on the ground, feeling damp grass between her fingers. 
Looking up, she saw a scenario she'd seen many times before, probably too 
many times; a cemetery; as if she subconsciously had sought out the place 
where she felt...at home.

'Oh, the irony.' She thought, chuckling sadly.

Here she was, in a cold cemetery, in the middle of the night, when she could 
be in the warm arms of the woman she loved and who apparently loved her 
back, and she felt at home! She started laughing, but it came out as a harsh 
coughing, her breath catching.

She sat up, leaning against a gravestone. She pulled her legs up, hugging 
them tightly to her chest, resting her chin on her knees. What the hell was 
she doing? Why was she out here? Why had she run away? 'Cause you're a 
coward, that's why' came the automatic response. Yeah, she was. She could 
stand against vampires, demons, hellmouths, giant snakes and various other 
hellspawn and not feel the slightest tinge of fear, but give her an 
emotional revelation, and she chickens out and runs away.

She picked off some dried demon blood from her jacket sleeve. A few hours 
ago, before the whole dream-debacle, she had encountered a number of demons 
scavenging one of the numerous crypts in Sunnydale. She had killed two of 
them, chasing off the other three.

'What am I doing here? I should be with Willow, holding her close...telling 
her I love her.' Buffy thought, using her jacket sleeve to wipe at her 
watery eyes. But now it was too late. She had run out on her, as if she 
wasn't worth a damn. 'But you are, Willow. God, you're worth everything'.

"Willow!" she croaked out, salty tears staining her face. She didn't know 
when it had happened, when she had gotten these feelings for her best 
friend. It wasn't sudden; it had been building for some time. Perhaps even 
from Day One. And yet, it felt like it had happened in a blink of an eye.

Part of her had always suspected it was the fact that she was attracted to 
that which she could never have. That was a coward's love, though; to allow 
yourself to love because you knew that that love wouldn't be returned, and 
therefore it was harmless. That's why she was so scared. She never wanted to 
hurt Willow, to cause her pain. So, what if this love wasn't real? She was 
terrified to wake up one day and find that the love she thought she felt was 
gone. That would break Willow's heart, and Buffy could never do that to her.

The possible threat of emotional pain aside, there was the very real threat 
of physical pain. If she and Willow were together, every wanna-be-big-bag 
this side of Brazil would target the wonderful redhead, in hopes of causing 
Buffy pain. 'If Willow died-' Buffy thought, then quickly erased that from 
her head. 'No, that will never happen! As long as I live, Willow will never 
die!'

There it was. As clear as day, Buffy knew why she and Willow could never be 
together.

'It's too dangerous.' She thought.

It was best for everyone if they just forgot about this, moved on. At least, 
that was what she told herself. She completely ignored the fact that as a 
member of the Scooby Gang, Willow was always in danger.

'Besides, it would be easier for both of us.' she tried to convince herself. 
If we got together, it would be...complicated. Everyone would look at us 
differently. Not that I care what others think of me!' Buffy quickly lied to 
herself. 'But it would cause her pain.'

She took a deep breath, nodding slightly as if agreeing with her own 
decision. She would go back to the dorm, explain to Willow why they couldn't 
be together, and that would be it. It sounded like a good plan. But then 
again, her brain was currently doing twenty on the highway of reason.

Her reverie was broken by clattering sounds not far from where she was. She 
looked up, and a number of tombstones away, she localized the source; a 
crypt with the door wide open. She recognized it from before: It was the 
same crypt where she had encountered the scavenging demons earlier. Perhaps 
they had decided to come back to finish their dirty work.

Slowly, she pushed herself up from the cold ground and she made her way to 
the crypt. Not bothering much with the stealth, she simply went inside, 
stepping over the threshold.

'Yup, it's the same demons alright.' She thought.

They were short, about 4 feet tall, dark blue, slight fur on the arms, legs 
and shoulders, a long, thick tail, and lanky, thin arms and claws. Their 
faces were almost like a human's, except their noses were huge, and they had 
horns and remarkably long ears. Their eyes were a glowing yellow, and their 
faces constantly locked in an evil grin.

Two of them stood on the outside of an opened tomb, while the third was 
inside, nonchalantly throwing out items that the two others caught, examined 
quickly and then discarded, tossing them to the floor. All the while they 
were emitting this high pitched noise that Buffy assumed was their language.

"All right, boys," Buffy said, standing with her legs spread, ready for 
battle, and her arms crossed. "What did I say about disturbing other 
people's resting places?"

The demons only growled at her, a high pitched noise matching their 
language. If they weren't so damn ugly, Buffy could almost have thought that 
they were cute. They hunched down, extending their claws at her, preparing 
to attack.

"Come get it!" Buffy said as she too entered her fighting stance. Less than 
a second later, she was being pushed outside by three small, but 
surprisingly strong, demons.

* * *

/Jin
- - - - -
"She should have died hereafter: There would have been a time for such a 
word ...
...it is a tale, told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying 
nothing." - Shakespeare/Macbeth
- - - - -
http://www.angelsfallfirst.tk

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Willow: "It's a good fight, Buffy, and I want in."
Buffy:  "I kinda love you."
                     'Choices'

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