FIC: Is Life Meant To Be Like This 4/4 (B/W, D/A, R)

["batoutofhell25" <acepilot87@xxxxxxxxxxx>]

SEE AUTHOR'S NOTE! (seperate post)

Is Life Meant To Be Like This? (4/4)
Acepilot

Disclaimer - See chapter 1

Rating - R
Pairings - Buffy/Willow, Dawn/Amanda

Dedication - To Juan, for all the inspiration that kept me writing
over the last six months.

---

London July 21st 2006

The slayer moved with the barest whisper, blending in to her
surroundings, leaving no sound and only the barest blurs of an
afterimage to any who happened to be glancing her way. She crept
between the pillars, spying her target only a few hundred metres away,
so deep in concentration that she would never know what hit her...
"Yah!"
The exclamation of surprise echoed across the library, drawing quite a
bit of unwanted attention. Dawn smiled sheepishly at her fellow
co-eds, before glaring at Amanda.
"Very good. You done now?"
Amanda smiled brightly and dropped into a seat next to her beloved.
"For the moment. Watchya doing?"
"Reading War and Peace for my Literature course. Hardest thing to read
that was ever written."
Amanda nodded. "Gloomy Russian fourteen-hundred-plus page novel...you
were expecting it to be easy?"
Dawn sighed. "No. So, what has caused you to stalk me so agressively
this afternoon?"
"Nothing much. Just wondering if you'd like to come have some dinner
with me?"
Dawn smiled. "I'm all yours."
As the pair weaved through the virtual labyrinth of books and
students, Amanda whispered, "So, did you speak to Willow again yet?"
"No, but I did get on to Wesley. He says that she's...well, he says
that she'd hurting and thinking about Buffy." Dawn shrugged. "This has
got to be the first time I've ever been happy to hear that Willow's
upset."
Amanda smiled at that.
The Friday afternoon sun beamed down upon them as they left the
library and worked their way up one of the many paths through the
complex, heading for The Castle Shops. Amanda wrapped an arm around
her lover as they walked on.
"Anything interesting happen to you today?" Dawn asked.
"Nah, just the usual. Managed to get some really great photos of the
Union..."
"Yeah? You'll have to show me later..."

---

Sunnydale, October 24th 2006

"Hey, Dawn."
Dawn looked up and smiled as Amanda slid into the seat opposite her in
the cafeteria. "Hey. How's it going?"
"Ugh...David is being a jerk again..."
Dawn raised an eyebrow. "Tell me you didn't give him another ambulance
ride?"
Amanda smiled. "No, the nurse could deal with it."
Dawn chuckled quietly. "You're going to be the death of him, you
know."
"Yeah. My mum thinks we like each other."
Dawn dropped her fork in the substance that may have once been
spaghetti that was on the plate before her. 'What? What do you mean,
like each other. You can't like him...Dawn, she can't hear what you're
thinking, say something, you've been sitting still for a very long
time...' "What? You...do you?"
Amanda shrugged and dipped a piece of three-day old bread in her
watered-down pumpkin soup. "I dunno. He's...well, he's a jerk, but
he's kinda cute."
Dawn leapt into emergency tactics. "Yeah, but there's only so much
cuteness can do for you. I mean, once you wear that out, what are you
left with, huh? Just a big jerk who is mean to you and...could
probably sue you for assault, and..."
"Dawn, your eyes have gone all wide."
Dawn forced herself to calm down. "I just think he'd be really bad for
you, that's all."
Amanda looked at her for a second before grinning wickedly. "Uh-huh.
I'm sure." The taller girl reached across slyly with her fork and
speared some of Dawn's spaghetti.
"Hey!" Dawn exclaimed.
"Better than soup," Amanda told her and took another forkful.
Dawn shook her head in exasperation. "Hey, if you can eat the stuff,
go ahead."
Amanda smiled at her, causing Dawn's skin to inexplicably break out
into goosebumps. It was just a smile...but it was somehow...'deeper,'
Dawn wisely didn't vocalise. 'Much, much deeper.'
"You want to go see a movie on Saturday?" 'Christ, did I just say
that?'
Amanda looked a touch taken aback. "You want to...go see a movie? With
me?"
Dawn recovered neatly. "Yeah. Because, you know, friends do that kind
of thing." 'Lie, big, big lie...'
She wasn't sure, but she could have sworn that disappointment flashed
through Amanda's eyes for the barest of seconds. If it had, then she
recovered quickly as well. "Sure. That'd be great. What time?"
"Oh...say 11? We can grab lunch afterwards?"
Amanda smiled. "Sounds good. I'll see you there."

---

LA July 21st 2006

Willow lay under the blissful blast of her air-conditioning, trying to
gain some kind of upper-hand on the blistering Californian-summer
heat. She wiped sweat from her brow as she attempted to read, finding
the Wolfram and Hart source books to be a veritable wealth of
information and well and truly worth their weight in gold.
"And as the black canyons opened beneath her, she screamed in agony
and pain, as she knew that it would never be able to return to it's
rightful place...right cheerful stuff, luv."
Willow didn't even bother to look up. "Go away, Spike."
Spike grinned and pulled up a seat from under her desk. "Just thought
I'd drop by and see how things were going."
"They've been better."
"As good as they were, oh, say...four years ago?"
Willow did look up, but only to glare. "What do you know about it?"
Spike settled back into his seat. "Let me tell you a story, Red. I
think you'll find it insightful."
Willow's glare did not abate, but she did offer a somewhat sarcastic,
"I'm all ears."
"So, there was this vampire. Fairly young for a vamp. Brutal, purely
evil, very attractive. A few years back, however, he went and got
himself stuck with this chip thingy in his head and he couldn't kill
any more. So, he started working alongside the Slayer. And he fell in
love with her."
"Spike, I could kill you with a single word, you know?"
"But vampires, you see, aren't as blind as people. They don't just use
their eyes. And it was clear to this vampire that another one of the
Slayer's groupies - the Scooby Gang, they called themselves - had
already fallen pretty hard for the pretty little blonde hunter. And
when, a few years on, after any real hope of intimacy had passed
between them and the little "lack of soul" thing had been cleared up,
this vampire realised that the Slayer...well, she wasn't completely
impartial to her little Wicca friend as originally thought."
"Spike, I know this story. I lived it. And I don't want to hear about
it."
"So imagine his complete lack of surprise when suddenly they seem to
spend a lot of time covered in each other's scent, but act so cold and
heartless to each other around everyone else. It was then that the
vampire caught on - the Wicca had realised the same thing about the
Slayer that he had a year before."
"And what's that?" Willow all but spat.
"That she'll never admit to love. Not after she was burned so many
times. Not that it's not there, mind you. But you have to dig a bit
deeper. You have to *push*. Then, you'll find it. Of course, it's
possible you've left this, oh, let's say three years too late? But
hey, never say never."
Willow rolled over and looked Spike straight in the eye. "What are you
doing here? Really?"
Spike stood and sighed dejectedly. "You know, she doesn't love me. Not
any more, if she ever did. It's my fault, partially, because I didn't
try hard enough. But you...you're different. You she'll love through
good times and bad. You were the shoulder she went to cry on when
Angel went bad. You were the ear she sobbingly confessed into when she
and Faith got into that nasty mess with the Deputy Mayor. You're the
one she fought hard to rehabilitate after...well, you know." Spike
gained an almost wistful look to his eyes. "If I was in your shoes,
there's no way I'd be moping around here. I'd be in London, begging
her to let me in. Begging her to let me take her in my arms and never
let go. Begging her to be mine for eternity."
Spike let out a low chuckle. "Of course, you on the other hand are
sitting around Los Angeles trying to justify a mistake you made three
years ago."
Willow stared at him for a second.
She sat up.
"You're right." She surprised herself with a startled laugh. "God, I
can't believe it. You're right."
She surprised herself even further - and him, for that matter - by
giving him a slight peck on the cheek.
"What was that about?" He asked, incredulous.
"For showing me something I've refused to see." Willow rose. "I've got
to go see Angel about getting me on a flight to London."
Spike nodded. "You really do."
"Thanks." And with a whisper of movement and flash of red hair, she
was gone.
"Go and love her for both of us, Red," he whispered to the empty room.

---

Willow tried in vain to calm herself as she waited for her flight to
be announced. 'Take it easy, Will, you're going to hyperventilate.'
"They didn't cancel it, did they?"
Willow spun in surprise at the voice. "Angel! What are you doing
here?"
Angel smiled sheepishly. "Just thought I'd come and see you off...and
apologise, while I'm at it."
Willow grinned wryly. "Did Nina make you do this?"
Angel did a good job of attempting to look offended. "Of course not.
I'm here on my own, Will, and...well, I wanted to say sorry for how I
treated you when you got here."
"That's okay." Willow tossed up over continuing, but her curious side
won out. "Are you okay...with what I'm going to do?"
Angel leant against a nearby pillar. "Willow, I'm not going to lie to
you. I love Buffy. I always will. But...well, part of that love is
acknowledging the fact that I'm not the right person for her. Not at
all. And I'd want to be able to know that she was in the hands of
someone who truly cared for her, and who could be there for her, like
I never could." He looked her straight in the eyes. "You were always
there, I think. There in her heart. And hey, I don't know a lot of
what happened a few years ago - and it should probably stay that way -
but...well, I know that whatever it was, it effected you both deeply.
And I think that if you have any chance whatsoever of working this
out, then you deserve to take it...without some bozo vampire standing
in your way."
Willow smiled appreciatively at him. "You're the best, you know?"
Angel took a semi-formal bow. "So I hear."
"<Flight 811 express from LAX to Heathrow is now boarding.>"
"I want a wedding invitation!" Willow ordered. "If you don't invite
me, I'll make Spike tell me when it is and crash it anyway."
Angel smiled one of his rare, not sarcastic, not exasperated, but
truly happy smiles (well, not quite that happy), before responding,
"Same to you."
Willow couldn't wipe the grin from her face. "We'll see. I'll keep in
touch."
"You better."

And as the plane soared through the air, a redhead witch on her way to
a blonde slayer, Willow knew that, one way or another, her life was
going to change - she was going to reclaim a part of her past that
never should have been lost.
It seemed like so long ago...



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Willow: "It's a good fight, Buffy, and I want in."
Buffy:  "I kinda love you."
                     'Choices'

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