FIC: Hurt. Pleasure. Love. (BTVS) B/F NC-17 (1/?)

[Raven White <clawsoftheraven@xxxxxxxxx>]

This is in answer to Huntress Fic Request. What she
wanted in it was this song. THE REASON by Hoobastank.
I can only hope that this is something that you like
and everyone else. It also helped me get though a
writers block.

THE REASON

I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you

I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
That's why I need you to hear

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you
And the reason is you
And the reason is you
And the reason is you

I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you

I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you

***********************************************

TITLE: Hurt. Pleasure. Love. (BTVS) B/F
AUTHOR: Raven White
RATING: NC-17
PAIRING: Buffy/Faith Implied Other
DISCLAIMER: These BTVS characters are the property of
Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy. I am only using them for
my sole purpose for a fanfic.
Warning: Contains adult themes, language and lesbian
sexuality. If the thought of two women together
bothers you. Please delete or leave and If you are
still here. Enjoy.
DISTRIBUTION: Ask first please.
SPOILERS: All seasons of BTVS
SUMMARY: After The First is gone there are changes in
the air. Faith leaves and Buffy wants her to come back
to her.


****************************************
It was well after the fight with The First. The
potentials now being full blow Slayers had left to go
to different Hellmouth locations around the world.
Giles had gone to Rome as they had found a few of the
rebel Watchers and he wanted to get them to join The
NEW Watcher Council.

They still was not sure what it would be called. But
the Slayers need a few Watchers around. If for nothing
else then to help with the research that one would
have to do.

Buffy had tried to get Faith to stay with her and
Dawn. But Faith had told her that she needed to get
back to prison. So Faith left to go back to prison.
And that made Buffy go to her hacker friend. Willow
had taking care of everything. Faith record would show
that she had completed her time in prison and that she
was free once again. There was also going to be a
letter for whenever the dark slayer showed up.

All Buffy could do was wait. And wait she did......

During the time that Buffy was waiting. Willow had
found information about many things. The records of
one Faith _____ was found. Buffy, Willow and Dawn
spent days crying for what their friend had went
though.

Finally word came that Faith had been to the prison
and that she had received the letter. And they made
there way to where they would meet up with the dark
slayer. One year to the day that they had ran from
what was left of Sunnydale. Buffy was now waiting by
the sign that told everyone that they couldn't enter
Sunnydale. No one wondered why it was not rebuild.
They would just sigh and turn around and head
elsewhere.

Buffy was nervous as hell. She had finally accepted
what she felt for the other slayer. As she was
waiting. For it seem that was all she was doing
nowadays.

WAITING.......

She turns the radio on. A song was playing that made
her cry. Little did she know that as she was listening
and crying that Faith was also listening to the same
song.

********
I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
********

Buffy POV:
I was never perfect...I was jealous of her. Of the way
that she could say fuck it and not care what anyone
thought about her. Little did I know why that was.

Faith POV:
I was never a perfect person...my life was shit. I
regret alot of the things that I did.

********
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
********

Buffy POV:
The times that I said things just to make you feel
like shit. What was I thinking? I wasn't. You never
gave me a chance. I was the older chosen one and you
always felt second best.

Faith POV:
Why did I shoot Angel? Why did I fuck Riley? He wasn't
the one that I wanted? I wanted to be close to her.
Then why didn't I just fuck her? I loved her.
SHIT....FUCK...I said the LWORD...WONDERFUL. Why Can't
I tell her? Because she will laugh at you and tell you
that you are fucked and a loser like you she could
never love....FUCK I AM CRYING....

*******
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you
********

Buffy POV:
I miss her. Her smile. That damn smirk that she gets
when she thinks that she knows something that no one
else does. The way she dances. God the way her body
would move. She was a panther. I was the prey.

Faith POV:
BUFFY..She was always my reason for me doing anything
that I ever did.
Dancing for her...dancing with her...feeling her body
so close to me...knowing that would be the only way
that I could ever touch her and not get the shit
kicked out of me. She is the reason I tryed to go
back to prison. When I was finally released from the
hospital...Who would have thought that the bus I was
on would have gotten hijacked and would have ended up
in a massive wreck. I spent nine more months in a
fucking coma....WHAT IS IT WITH ME AND COMAS? Then I
found out that my time spent in prison is over. I am
free. AND THEN THAT LETTER.....

******
I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
********

Buffy POV:
Buffy was sobbing as she heard the words. For everyday
that she spent without Faith in her life. HURT. The
pain that she knew she cause Faith to feel. Just
because she was worried of what her friends would
think of her. Willow was right when she told to
her..."I didn't fall in love with a woman, I fell in
love with the person who happened to be a woman."

Faith POV:
HURT?....Oh Yeah, I hurt her....Leaving her for the
Mayor. Giving Riley something that she never could.
Trying to kill Willow. WHY? Cause I couldn't have her.
AND that was much to hard to live with every day.
Seeing her and not feeling the pain that it cause me.

******
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
That's why I need you to hear
********

Buffy POV:
Tears...more like a river flowing into a
stream...waiting to take away all the hurt that I
cause you. Wanting to tell you that I am such a damn
blonde. The Chosen One was afraid of another Slayer. I
need to hear your voice...that thing that only you
say...."B, You know me. I'm Five By Five."

Faith POV:
How do I take away what I did to you? To your friends?
Riley? Angel? Damn B, You got me crying for you. Would
you cry for me? I need to hear you tell me you would.
That I matter to you. That I am your Chosen One.


Buffy looked up to the sound of a cab stopping in
front of her. *Damn, I am still crying.* The cab
driver got out and opened the trunk and grabbed what
looked like the smallest bag that she had ever see. As
she looked forward she saw the back door opening and
that lovely body that haunted her dreams for years
stepped out for her to see.

As Buffy eyes met Faith she could see that she had
tears still on her face.

God she is beautiful. They both thought.

Faith looked around. Some times the slayer looked for
bad things even in what seemed to be a good thing. She
took in the look on B's face. Seeing the tears on her
face. And seeing two items in Buffy's hands. *So that
is why she wants me here.* .....Then she heard a radio
coming
from a camper that was next to Buffy...the song that
she had been listening to was playing still.

********
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you
And the reason is you
And the reason is you
And the reason is you
********

Faith took the bag from the driver and paid him. The
driver got back into the car and drove off. He thought
that she was crazy to come out here. What with the
stories that this place cause people to tell each
other.

********
I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
********

Faith walked to Buffy...sighing along the way..*Well
here goes everything.* She didn't even wipe at the
tears that was still on her face. When she got close
to Buffy. She stopped. Giving her that
smile.

"Hey B. You wrote?"

Buffy sniffed and left her tears on her cheek. "Yeah,
F. I did." *Okay, that is not what I meant to
say...."Faith, we need to talk." She waited on her
fellow slayer.

"Whatever B. It's your money." Faith placed her bag at
the door of the camper. She looked up and saw that
someone was looking out of the window of the camper.
Not waiting she went to go inside of the camper to
find out who was in there.

Grabbing her arm. "Faith NO!"

Faith stopped and looked at Buffy. "Why Not?"

"Because no one is going to hurt you." Buffy told her.

"Yeah RIGHT...not like I haven't heard that before."
Faith was pissed.

Buffy didn't know what else to do...."Come out for a
minute." The person came out of the camper looking shy
and not sure what was going on. Faith stepped
back....just waiting for whatever was going to happen.

End part 1
{Raven White}
All Rights reserved
copyrighted on June 13, 2004
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/clawsoftheraven/
http://www.geocities.com/clawsoftheraven/index.htm
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Willow: "It's a good fight, Buffy, and I want in."
Buffy:  "I kinda love you."
                     'Choices'

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