Fallen 2/6 - W/T - PG13

["Dana" <hunterash@xxxxxxx>]

Title: Fallen
Part 2

Author: Frau Hunter Ash 

Copyright © 2002-2004 by Hunter Ash. All Rights Reserved.

Email: hunterash7@xxxxxxxxx 
hunterash@xxxxxxx
Feedback welcome!!

Homepage Addy: http://www.hunterash.com/ 

Disclaimers: The characters and show all belong to Joss Whedon, Fox, 
Mutant Enemy, Kuzui, and God only knows who else. The storyline, 
however, is the sole property of the author. This story cannot be 
sold or used for profit in any way. Copies of this story may be made 
for private use only and must include all disclaimers and copyright 
notices. 

F/F romance: the story assumes a loving and sexual relationship 
between people of the same gender.  If this offends or is illegal 
for you, then please leave.  Come back when you are older, have an 
open mind, moved, or changed your laws. 

Spoilers: Wrecked, Season Six

Summary:  This takes place the day after "Wrecked"  Buffy and the 
gang need to deal with the aftermath of Wrecked. The story takes 
several turns from there. 

Rating: PG  magick withdrawal descriptions  Pairings: W/B (maybe), 
W/T 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Buffy sat down on the sofa, heavily, with Xander next to her.  Tara 
stood by the stairs stunned as Anya and Dawn pounded down to join 
the others.  Dorothy sat down in the easy chair Anya had been 
sleeping in earlier.

"Child?" Buffy repeated.

"Child? What child?" Dawn asked as Anya sat down next to Xander, her 
face reflecting her worry over his confused expression.

"Rack said that he would have Willow's soul and the child," Dorothy 
repeated.

"Child? What child?" Anya repeated again and then her eyes 
widened.  "Willow is pregnant? He intends the child for his demons?"

"Apparently," Dorothy nodded, her face grim.  

Tara sank down to the floor against the wall as Buffy stared at her 
shoes.

"Willow slept with him?" Xander muttered.  "She doesn't go for guys 
and he's totally like undatable!"

"Dawn?" Buffy asked slowly as the young girl began to blush and 
wouldn't look at any of them.

"I don't know," she admitted.  "They were all acting so weird. Amy 
was totally stoned, like she was on acid or mushrooms and Willow was 
off with that creep in the other room. I don't know what happened in 
there."

"You know what someone is like on acid or mushrooms?" Buffy demanded 
with a parental stern look.

"I saw some kids get fried at a party and I left, okay?" Dawn 
explained.  "They thought the light bulbs were turning into dragons 
and dancing around the room.  Too weird."

"Back to Willow?" Xander suggested.

"When she came out her blouse was buttoned wrong and she was dazed," 
Dawn continued.  "Her eyes were black and she was acting like she 
was stoned. Then everything went insane."

"I never even noticed the blouse," Buffy frowned.  "She may not even 
remember what happened."

"Probably not," Dorothy agreed.  "It would be like someone slipping 
one of you girls something in your drink and taking advantage of 
you."

"Except Willow put herself there and accepted the drug," Tara 
muttered.  

Xander shifted on the sofa, leaning heavily against Anya.

"What does it all mean, Willow being pregnant with that creep's 
kid?" he asked.

"We don't know she is!" Buffy snapped.

"Almost certain she is if he thinks it," Dorothy shrugged.  "Doesn't 
change much except we now have a powerful sorcerer who has a claim 
to your friend on several levels and a powerful witch with him."

"So we fight them, keep Willow safe, and she has a child by that 
rapist?" Buffy demanded.

"Well, I would suggest a visit from a Watcher Council doctor but it 
wouldn't help," Dorothy said.

"Why not?" Xander asked.  "Not that Willow would agree to an 
abortion. She's Pro-Choice and everything but doesn't believe in it 
for herself."

"That bastard said something tonight, children," Dorothy said 
thoughtfully.  "Might give us some hope."

"What?" Buffy demanded instantly.

"Let me make some phone calls," Dorothy said, holding up her 
hand. "One of you get back up and keep an eye on Willow.  Slayer, I 
need information about that Rack thing out there."

"Spike said he knew him and helped me find Dawn," Buffy said 
thoughtfully.  "Come on, Tara."

The witch looked surprised at the demand. "What?"

"You're coming with me," Buffy announced.  "We need to talk."
	
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Xander watched from the door as Anya and Dorothy as they helped 
Willow sit up in bed, trying to get her to drink more of the orange 
juice.  The young man watched his devastated friend trying to focus, 
her eyes green once more.

The women were satisfied when she got half a glass down, letting her 
lay back on the bed.  Dorothy felt the energy shifting around the 
red haired witch and clapped her hands, distracting Willow.  Anya 
grabbed Willow's wrists as Dorothy raised her hands.

Willow screamed as her eyes changed to black once more.

Xander dashed forward and grabbed Willow's wrist that was closest to 
him, helping Anya struggle to get the restraints on her once again 
as a blue light spread from Dorothy's hands, covering the bed and 
Willow.

Willow screamed again and kicked Anya in the stomach.  Xander threw 
himself over Willow's legs.  

Anya got to her knees from the floor and managed to restrain 
Willow's legs.

Xander and Anya stepped back as Dorothy chanted and Willow raged.  
Xander held his hand out as Anya stepped around the bed and into his 
arms. 

After a few minutes Willow stopped struggling and fell back on the 
bed.

"Quick!" Dorothy snapped.  "Unhook that wrist and leg!"

Xander jumped to obey the nurse as the blue light faded and Dorothy 
grabbed for a bucket that had been placed beside the bed.  Anya and 
Xander winced as Willow rolled to the edge of the bed, beginning to 
vomit into the bucket.

"It's okay, I'll watch her now," Dorothy said gently as she reached 
for a wet washcloth.  "She'll be weak as a kitten in a couple of 
minutes and I can restrain her.  Go and comfort the youngster."

"Dawn's in her room," Anya said softly.

Xander hesitated, watching Willow's body racked with dry heaves.

"Go on," Dorothy insisted gently.  "I've got Willow."

Willow collapsed back on the bed finally and made no effort to 
resist as Dorothy restrained her wrist and ankle again.  The older 
woman pulled up a chair next to the bed and placed the wet washcloth 
on Willow's forehead.  Next, Dorothy held a straw in a glass of 
water to Willow's lips.

The witch nodded gratefully and took several sips.

"Hurts bad," Willow whispered, her eyes still black.

"I know, young one," Dorothy said softly, reaching down to hold 
Willow's hand.

"Who are you?"

"My name is Dorothy and I'm going to help you get through this," the 
nurse-witch explained.  

"You stopped me from using magic," Willow frowned.  "Witch?"

"Since I was a child smaller than Dawn in there," Dorothy 
smiled.  "I've helped many down this road before. I need your help 
though, Red Willow."

Willow's eyes widened.  "How do you know that?"

"I read some of your general Book of Shadows," Dorothy said, 
pointing vaguely in the direction of Willow's altar and supply 
drawers.  "What I didn't find was your black one."

"Don't have a black one," Willow muttered.

"Where is the spell you used to bring the Slayer back? And a copy of 
your pact with the Arch Prince?" Dorothy questioned.

Willow turned her head away from the witch.

"I can't," she whispered.

"I know, it's all part of the pact," Dorothy said calmly.  "You 
can't name your Prince and you can't reveal the spell you used to 
bring the Slayer back but we need that information to find a way to 
either break the deal or a way that it won't cost you your soul, 
honey."

"Buffy's back, deal was made," Willow muttered, still refusing to 
look at her.  "Nothing can be done."

"Honey, you did that spell and made that deal out of love, there's 
always an answer," Dorothy assured her.

"It's beginning to hurt again," Willow turned to look at the nurse-
witch, her eyes becoming fearful.

"You're going to get worse before it gets better," Dorothy said 
truthfully.  "Tell me his name before you lose it again, young one!"

"No! I won't endanger anyone because of me!" Willow snapped and 
gritted her teeth as the pain began building again and her muscles 
began cramping.

"Tell me his name!" Dorothy commanded.

"No!" Willow shouted.  

"Who was his messenger then?" Dorothy shouted back as Willow yelled 
with the pain.

"Orcus!" Willow shouted and then screamed.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Spike growled and came up out of his chair with a battle axe in hand 
when the door to his crypt crashed open.  

Buffy easily deflected the axe and took it from the vampire and 
smacked him in the nose, sending him back into his chair.

Spike held his injured nose and glared up at Buffy as Tara walked in 
behind her.

"What?" he demanded.  "You don't bloody well knock and you bring a 
party guest along? You getting even kinkier than I thought?"

Buffy held the edge of the battle-axe against his throat.

"I want very few words from you," Buffy growled, placing a foot in 
the center of his chest.

"I know you like it rough, Slayer," Spike smirked. "But I'm not used 
to an audience."

"Very few words!" Buffy snapped, moving the blade further into his 
skin, causing Spike to raise up in his chair to avoid being 
cut.  "Only words concerning anything you know about Rack and the 
hold he has on Willow."

"Oh bollocks, Slayer!" he growled.  "It always comes back to Little 
Tree, doesn't it?" 

"Words, Spike, choose them carefully," Buffy threatened.  "I've had 
very little sleep and my friend is hurting."

"Okay, okay, just stop with the butch act," he grumbled.

Buffy removed the blade and her foot and let him sit up in the chair 
and to readjust his leather jacket.

"When you said Willow was sick with that magic stuff that Rack does, 
I did some checking among the demons and the spell casters," Spike 
informed the two women and shrugged when Buffy looked 
surprised.  "Hey, she never wanted to stake me and was even nice to 
me when I got chipped."

"Rack and Willow," Buffy snapped.

"Yeah, well, Rack is a major player," Spike said calmly.  "He keeps 
alive and keeps his soul intact by offering up others in his place."

"What do you mean?" Buffy asked.

"Instead of making deals for his own soul for power, he corrupts 
someone else," Tara explained and Spike nodded.

"Yeah, that's the game," he smirked.  "He's got poor Amy more than 
half way there and Willow is a special delight of his, from what I 
hear."

"What about Willow?" Buffy demanded, raising the axe.

"He wants her very badly," Spike grinned, almost on the verge of 
taunting the Slayer.  "I hear comments that Willow is more powerful 
than any of the sorcerers have seen in decades, maybe even 
centuries.  They all would like a crack at her but Rack's got first 
dibs."

"Why? What did they do?" Tara asked.

"Well, I'm not sure but I think the video will be rated NC-17 or X, 
luv."

Buffy growled as Tara began to blush.

"He thinks he can get Willow's soul and keep his own out of danger?" 
Buffy repeated.

"Yeah, she's young, fairly innocent and really powerful," Spike 
nodded, not understanding the slight smile on Buffy's face.

"Rack has promised Willow's soul to some demon, hasn't he?" she 
asked, clarifying the information.

"That's the word, he figured he had her totally until you took her 
home," Spike muttered.  "Rack thought you'd throw her out or she'd 
run back to him."

"What happens if Rack doesn't deliver on the deal?" Buffy asked 
thoughtfully.

Spike looked puzzled.  "First, sorcerers like him don't make deals 
they can't follow through with, that's how they stay alive so long 
and so powerful.  Rack must have a pretty good hold on Willow to 
even think about promising her over to the dark stuff.  Second, 
Willow was more than half way there before she met Rack.  He'll 
deliver."

"If he doesn't?" Buffy pressed.

"Then some demon might be very unhappy with the boy and do very 
nasty and unmentionable things to his body before taking Rack's soul 
to hell for a nice long and sweet eternity of torture," Spike 
answered.

Tara's eyes widened.  "If Rack is forced to pay up for his pacts, it 
might work."

"What are you two talking about?"

"Never mind, Spike," Buffy said, her manner distracted as she 
thought about it.

Buffy looked at Tara, her eyes worried.

"I need to ask him," she said softly.

Tara began to blush as anger spread over her.

"Go ahead," Tara snapped.

"Listen, what if it was a major deal, like offering Willow and the 
soul of a child?" Buffy asked, turning to Spike.

"Shouldn't you be asking the old wanker about all of this?" Spike 
complained.

"Giles will be here tomorrow, I want answers tonight because Rack 
might come back," Buffy growled.

"Child? What child? Dawn?" Spike asked.  "Is that why he wanted her 
there?"

"Originally," Buffy nodded, "but I think he has bigger plans now."

Spike's eyes widened and the vampire stood up, almost falling out of 
his chair.

"Willow? With that freak?" he demanded.

"It might be," Buffy nodded and Tara looked down at her shoes.

Spike began to pace restlessly, his hands clenched into fists.

"Okay, let me go and find some more answers," he said firmly.  "I'll 
get back to you before dawn."

"Thanks, Spike," Buffy said sincerely but the vampire shrugged.

"Like I said, I like her," he grumbled.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

The moment Tara had been dreading finally arrived when Buffy stopped 
outside the front door of the Summers' home and pointed to the porch 
swing.  Tara sighed heavily and sat down and tried not to flinch 
when Buffy sat down next to her.

"Talk to me, Tara," Buffy demanded.

"About what? That my ex-girlfriend may have slept with some sleazy 
sorcerer, a male sorcerer?" Tara snapped.  "I broke up with her, she 
can do what she wants."

"You know you don't stutter when you're angry," Buffy commented 
casually.  "As for Willow doing what she wants, that got her in this 
fix.  Third, you left because you love her, not because you stopped. 
Put that together and it matters a lot to you."

"Yeah, it does," Tara admitted, her chin dropping.

"Can you handle this until we get Willow through the detoxing?"

"Do we have a choice?" Tara asked bitterly.

"Sure, you could leave," Buffy said bluntly.  "I don't think you 
want to but I understand the wigging thing. I'm not handling this so 
well either. I'm all torn up inside and don't know what to do or 
think."

"Where do we all fit into this?" Tara asked.

"What do you mean?" Buffy asked.

"I loved Willow, still do," Tara said slowly, thinking.  "I don't 
know if we could ever go back and I know I'm not the one she truly 
loves. So I'm wondering where that leaves me."

"Right here with us," Buffy said firmly.  "No matter what happens 
with you guys. You're our friend now."

"What about you, Buffy?" Tara asked, risking a glance at the Slayer.

"What about me? I'm your friend and I want you around," Buffy 
frowned.

"How do you feel about Willow, are you ready yet?" 

"What are you talking about? Am I upset that she slept with some 
guy?" Buffy asked.  "Yeah, it obviously wasn't safe sex, it was with 
a slime ball, with a bad guy, and I'm not even sure if it was 
consensual. Besides, who do you think Willow loves? It's not Oz, she 
chose you over him."

"There's someone she would choose over me," Tara muttered.

"Alright," Buffy snapped, jumping up from the swing to face 
Tara.  "Enough dancing around whatever you want to say! Me too! 
We're in this mess because everyone was keeping things to 
themselves."

"What?" Tara joined Buffy's frown.

"Giles was worrying about my return from the dead and if I had lost 
the Slayer spark.  Dawn is in denial that I was having trouble 
adjusting, Xander and Anya were stressing over when to tell everyone 
about their engagement, and you were worried about Willow's magickal 
use getting out of hand.  And Willow, keeping all the worst secrets, 
black magic, pacts with demons, the price for getting me back."

"And you?"

"Not telling all of you and working through my adjustment to living 
again, not telling you I wasn't overjoyed to be back," Buffy 
admitted.

"So where does that leave us?" Tara asked.

"With the need for total honesty between all of us," Buffy said, 
calming down slightly.  "I was too busy with my own screwed up 
emotions and mental meltdown that I barely even noticed you moved 
out. One of my friends leaves her lover, my best friend, and I 
barely even noticed and I never asked why.  That sucks and I suck."

Tara nodded after a moment.  

"So what are we avoiding here? That we're pissed as hell that Willow 
might be pregnant? What else?" Buffy demanded.

"That you turned to Spike because you aren't ready to face something 
and someone you've been wanting for years," Tara snapped.

"You're dancing again!" Buffy countered.  "And does everyone know 
about Spike?"

"Pretty much, they figured it out when you two were standing outside 
shouting at each other about it the other night," Tara smirked and 
shrugged when Buffy looked both outraged and ashamed.

"Okay, I turn to Spike because he's a vampire and I'm wanting 
Angel?" Buffy pondered.

"No, even Angel knew who you wanted," Tara said patiently, much like 
a teacher waiting for a student to see the light when solving a 
particularly difficult problem.  

"Okay, I'm very tired, pissed off and not getting it," Buffy 
admitted.

"Just think about it for a while, Buffy," Tara suggested, standing 
up and moving for the door.  "Think about your life without any of 
us in it, one at a time and see if you find your answers."

Buffy growled as the door slammed behind the witch.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Giles was able to get an earlier flight than originally scheduled 
when someone canceled at the last minute, enabling the former 
Watcher to arrive on Buffy's doorstep in almost record time.  

Xander's face lit up with delight and relief when he opened the door 
and saw his former mentor standing on the porch.  Giles coughed 
nervously as the young man hugged him fondly.

"Well, yes," Giles grumbled as Xander turned his head, wiping away 
tears of relief and exhaustion.  

"Come on in, Giles," Xander said, grabbing for Giles' suitcase and 
overnight bag.

The ex-Watcher wasn't sure what he'd find when he entered the 
Summers home, it certainly wasn't that the place looked the same but 
then he scolded himself.  It was exactly what he should have 
expected; he had only been gone a short time.

It was long enough, however, to affect his relationship with 
everyone, he thought as Buffy came down the stairs.  The Slayer 
didn't rush down to hug him but approached him almost cautiously.

"Thanks for coming, Giles," she said calmly.  

Giles figured he had earned the slightly chilled reaction, he hadn't 
even said goodbye to his Slayer.

"How is she?" he asked, avoiding the topic for everyone's sake, 
especially his right then.

"It's rough," she admitted.  "The witch nurse the Council sent over 
has been a life saver."

"I read the background on her, she's very good at this," Giles 
nodded, pleased that something was working out.  "Fill me in on what 
happened, everything, every detail."

"Xander, grab Tara, Anya and Dawn," Buffy said calmly as she 
motioned the way to the kitchen.  

Giles sat down slowly as Buffy went to make coffee and tea.

"Buffy, I know you're mad at me&."

"Don't, Giles," Buffy snapped, keeping her back to the man she 
considered more important in her life than her own father.  "This 
doesn't concern us. Willow is sick and in danger on all kinds of 
levels.  Let's just deal with that, okay? I'll fill you in on adult 
life later."

"Alright," Giles said softly, wondering once again if he had made 
the right decision in leaving the Slayer.

Within minutes the Scooby Gang, minus Willow and Spike, were filling 
in their mentor on everything that had happened before he left and 
after.  Everything they knew about Willow and her magic.  The 
Watcher kept notes as they went along, some of them hearing some of 
the things for the first time.

By the end of two hours they were tired and emotionally drained 
after describing the confrontation with Rack and the talk with Spike.

"Spike was supposed to be here before sunrise?" Giles asked.

"Yeah, but he didn't show," Xander shrugged. "He called and said he 
couldn't make it over, he hadn't had enough blood to risk being out 
in the daylight."

"Did he say if he found out anything?" Giles continued.

"No, he didn't," Xander shook his head.  "Look, Giles, straight up. 
Can we save Willow and her soul?"

Giles took off his glasses and began cleaning them with his 
shirt.  "Uh, actually, I'm not sure."

"If she did sleep with that rat, will the kid be cursed?" Xander 
continued, wincing at the sight of Tara's pained face and Buffy's 
stormy eyes.

"Well, there is a possibility that hasn't been brought up yet," 
Giles said slowly, hesitating.

"What?" Buffy demanded. 

"Well, from what Dawn describes," Giles continued, still 
slowly.  "It could be that Willow was, in affect, much like someone 
stoned out of their minds and doesn't even realize what happened."

"Like a date rape drug?" Xander pondered.

"Yes, or more along the lines of slipping someone a hallucination 
drug and sleeping with them," Giles nodded.

"Okay, we thought of that.  What didn't we think of?" Buffy demanded 
again.

"Well, actually, there have been cases of sorcerers obtaining young 
women to mate with&well&it's not unheard of and actually rather 
common&."

"Rosemary's Baby?" Xander exclaimed and Buffy's eyes widened.

"With Satan?" she squeaked.

"Well, more likely a demon," Giles corrected. "Given Rack's power, 
Willow's powers, youth, beauty and such, probably a high ranking 
demon."

"The child of a high ranking demon and power witch would be highly 
prized by both sides," Anya commented.  "It would have natural 
powers of light and dark."

"Oh goddess," Tara whimpered.  "It was horrible when I thought I was&
that I was a half demon."

"Abortion?" Buffy asked softly, not quite meeting anyone's eyes.

"If it is the child of a demon," Giles frowned in thought, "they are 
self protective.  Only the death of the mother could kill the child."

"It's getting dark, we should be prepared in case Rack shows up 
again," Xander suggested, looking out the window.

Buffy tried to move her chair and frowned, puzzled. A quick glance 
around told her that no one was able to move their chairs.

"What?" Giles demanded, shoving at the table with all his might as 
Buffy shoved the opposite direction.

"Giles?" she snapped.  "Tara, get us out of here!"

"I can't! Something is blocking me!" Tara cried out, unable to even 
move her body.

A feminine laugh sent a chill down everyone's back from the back 
porch.

"Amy!" Xander snapped and tried to throw his chair backwards.

A crashing noise from upstairs brought a cry of frustration from 
Buffy as she tried to twist out of the chair and couldn't move.

A familiar scream broke through the muttered curses and groans from 
the group.  It was followed by an eerie silence.

"Damnit!" Buffy snapped, "That was Willow!"

Everyone tried to turn to face the kitchen doorway when they heard 
the front door open and someone in heavy shoes approaching.

"Spike?" Xander exclaimed, grateful to see Willow in his arms.

Spike broke into laughter as Xander fell backwards, Buffy fell out 
of her chair and Giles sprawled over onto his side, also falling out 
of his chair. 

"Glad to see you all having a nice cuppa while Little Tree here goes 
flying out the window!" Spike taunted.

"Dawn, check on Dorothy!" Buffy snapped as Spike placed a half 
clothed and only half conscious Willow in the chair Giles had fallen 
out of.  "Let's get her upstairs and find out what happened."

Spike looked surprised and bemused as Buffy shoved past him and drew 
Willow into her arms easily.

Willow mumbled and wrapped her arms around the Slayer, closing her 
eyes.  Buffy gently carried her friend up the stairs and into 
Willow's bedroom.  She knew everyone was right behind her, including 
Spike from the chatter and arguing following her.

They found Dorothy sitting up in a chair beside the bed, the window 
knocked out and Dawn holding a washcloth against Dorothy's temple.

"She was hit by something," Dawn explained as Buffy laid Willow on 
the bed.  Willow whimpered and clawed at Buffy's shirt.  The Slayer 
laid down beside the witch, wrapping her arms around Willow's body.

Willow relaxed instantly and didn't fight as Giles and Xander 
restrained first one wrist and ankle and then the other.  

"I'm Rupert Giles.  What happened?" Giles asked Dorothy.

"I figured you was one of them Watchers with the tweed suit," 
Dorothy smiled slightly.  "I got hit by the young one there," she 
said, pointing to Willow.  

"Willow hit you?" Anya said in disbelief.

"Told you," Xander grumbled. "Junkies will do anything for a fix 
when they're coming off the stuff."

"Yup, boy has it right," Dorothy nodded.  "I thought I had put her 
under with a Sleep Spell but something didn't work. I turned my back 
to get my coffee and she used magic and unbuckled the restraint, got 
her hand free and used magic to throw that lamp at me."

"She used magic?" Giles asked with a frown as Willow whimpered.

"Yes," Dorothy nodded.  "I went down, she used magic to unbuckle the 
rest of the straps, picked up a chair and threw it through the 
window.  Then the young girl floated out the window like an angel."

"Right, good thing I was trotting over here," Spike continued.  "I 
saw Red floating down into Rack's arms.  I flatted Rack's tires, 
snuck up behind him as he was catching the witch and decked him.  
You know the rest, I ducked into the house with Willow and broke Rat 
girl's spell on you guys."

"Willow went to him," Giles muttered, watching as Willow began 
twitching again.  Dorothy, also watching Willow, took the washcloth 
from Dawn's hand and handed it to Buffy as Willow's nose began 
bleeding again.  Buffy turned Willow's head slightly and held the 
cloth up to catch the blood.

"Damn, this whole situation is not good," Giles complained.  "Come 
downstairs, Miss Dorothy, let's have a look at that wound and a cup 
of tea."

"Tara, go with them," Buffy suggested. "Watchers tend to think of us 
all as kids sometimes. You know more about Willow's magic than the 
rest of us, maybe you can help them."

Buffy noticed Giles' expression, a mixture of resentment and a touch 
of guilt over her comment and ignored it.  

"Come on, Anya," Xander said.  "Let's go watch some TV, we'll take 
the middle of the night shift."

"Spike, can you stay with Dawn while she does her homework?" Buffy 
asked.  "I don't want anyone left alone with Rack and Amy out there 
and I want to stay with Will for awhile."

"Buffy," Spike growled.  "We need to talk!" he insisted.

"Not now," Buffy grumbled.  "Later."

"Now, damnit!" he snapped, ignoring Dawn's widening eyes.  "I'm not 
something you can just pick up and use when you feel like it and 
then get tossed aside."

Buffy's eyes flashed with a sudden intensity that startled both Dawn 
and Spike as she came up off the bed.

"Yes, I can!" Buffy growled, shoving a finger in Spike's 
chest.  "I'm sorry it went that far! I'm sorry I used you but that's 
all it was! I like you, Spike, but I don't love you. Yes, there's 
sexual tension there and you are sexy as hell and incredible in bed 
but I am not in love with you!"

"I didn't figure you were just yet, but it can come around," Spike 
said softly.

"I thought you were smarter than that," Buffy said bitterly, trying 
not to let the tears of rage, anger and shame escape her eyes.  "I'm 
sorry, Spike.  I used Riley and I used you. Even Angel knew when it 
was hopeless and left."

"You want me to leave?" Spike whispered.  

"No, I don't," Buffy admitted.  "But we can't have a relationship 
other than Slayer and de-fanged vampire.  Slayer and member of the 
Scooby Gang. I can't be with you again, Spike. Not and live with 
myself."

"She's with Tara and pregnant with some ratbag's kid, is that who 
you want?"

Buffy glanced over at her sister, wishing Dawn was in her room and 
not hearing this but it was too late.  Dawn had heard more than 
enough that it didn't matter whatever was said from that point on.

"Yeah, I guess the answer has always been Willow," Buffy said 
softly.  "I can't even imagine my life without Willow in it.  I was 
even adjusting to Giles being gone; missing my mom has gotten a 
little less painful; even missing wherever I was at when I was dead 
would be easier to live with than missing Willow."

"God, Slayer," Spike shook his head.  "Always thought you might have 
a thing for Red and I know she's always worshipped you except on 
rare occasions but I never thought you wanted the whole package."

"Why? Because I've never dated a girl or woman before?" Buffy 
demanded, her voice suddenly weary.  "I don't think it matters what 
someone's gender is.  I fell in love with Willow a very long time 
ago.  The gender thing got in the way of me recognizing that.  I 
don't know if a relationship would work on any level other than what 
we have but I'm not going to let her slip away without finding out."

"What if she still wants Tara?" Spike demanded.

"Then I'll survive somehow," Buffy shrugged.  "If she wakes up and 
we get her through this and she wants to be with Tara, then I will 
be their best friend and never say a word."

"That's pathetic!" Spike hissed.

"Yup," Buffy agreed, sitting back down on the bed and stroking 
Willow's hair.  "Now go on, take care of Dawn. You're the best 
protector she's ever had."

Buffy waited until she heard the door shut and laid back down next 
to Willow, talking softly, singing, whatever it took to keep her 
friend calm and sleeping peacefully.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Tara settled down with Giles and Dorothy and listened as they 
compared notes and asked her questions about what she knew of 
Willow's magic.  She was as frustrated as they were; Willow had kept 
her in the dark as much as she had everyone else.  Tara had known 
Willow was getting out of control, just like everybody else, and 
Willow had kept the details of the spell to bring Buffy back from 
her as well.

Tara frowned deeply and jerked when Giles' voice cut through her 
concentration.

"What is it, Tara?"

"I'm supposed to be Willow partner, not just her lover, but her 
partner," Tara complained.  "She kept everything from me as well and 
let me go without a fight."

The young witch fought back the tears suddenly filling her eyes and 
Dorothy leaned over the table to hold her hands.

"Tara," Giles said gently. "She may have let you go because she lost 
hope and didn't want to take you down with her, or it could be she 
really is too far gone."

"The little redhead did that spell because she has a good heart and 
soul," Dorothy pointed out.  "That's what drew you to her."

"It was out of love but not for me," Tara whispered, giving voice to 
her fears and reality.  "Willow was willing to sell her soul and to 
take the chance on losing herself to darkness and evil but it wasn't 
for me."

Giles shifted uncomfortably.  

"She didn't even ask her lover if it was okay to do something like 
that for a friend," Tara said wearily.  

"There's hope we can save her soul," Giles protested.

"But again, it won't be for me, will it?" Tara asked.

Giles pulled his glasses off and ran a hand over his face.  He was 
tired from the long trip, lack of sleep and highs stress level.

"Can we work out the realities of everyone's dating life after we 
save Willow's life and soul?" he snapped, surprising Tara with his 
bluntness.  "I'm sorry, let's just concentrate on saving her, shall 
we?"

"You're right," Tara nodded.  "I'm staying."

"Good, I was hoping you wouldn't leave," Giles said truthfully and 
Dorothy nodded.

"Another worker of Light is always a help," she smiled.  "Willow 
said the messenger was Orcus."

"Oh my God," Giles whispered.  

Tara went pale and Giles noticed the awareness in her eyes.

"You know him?" he asked.

"When my family told me I was half demon, I researched demons, 
trying to find answers.  I've read about Orcus," she said softly.

"Well, children," Dorothy frowned.  "I'm a good old country witch 
and not one of your bookworm types. Who and what is Orcus?"

"The Prince of the Undead," Giles said softly, looking up as Buffy 
walked into the kitchen.

"Undead?" she repeated.







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Willow: "It's a good fight, Buffy, and I want in."
Buffy:  "I kinda love you."
                     'Choices'

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