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FIC: Again 2/5
Title: Again
Disclaimer: These characters belong to Joss Whedon but he left the
playground so I'm playing with them now.
PART TWO
Willow sat down at the counter and ordered a cup of tea. She glanced
at her watch and frowned, not surprised that she was twenty minutes
early but frustrated that the morning seemed to be creeping along so
slowly. It hadn't helped that she had tumbled out of bed hours ago
after growing bored with staring at the ceiling, waiting for first
light after only getting a few hours of fitful sleep.
The waitress placed the tea in front of her and she stared into its
surface, waiting for it to cool. She had worn a red sweater with a
matching suede jacket and dark brown pants. Would Kennedy remember?
More importantly, would she even care? Willow pressed the tea bag
against her spoon as a girl about her height and with red hair sat
down on the stool next to her. No matter, she and Kennedy would move
to a booth where they could talk privately.
Willow noticed the girl was staring at her so she turned to say good
morning but never formed the words. She narrowed her eyes in
surprise, glancing down twice at what she was wearing. The girl
smiled as Willow realized they were wearing the exact same clothes.
"So...I finally get to meet the other woman," greeted the girl.
"The...huh?" muttered Willow.
"Of course for you to be the other woman, wouldn't you have to be in
a relationship with her?" grinned the girl.
"The other...excuse me, but do I know you?" asked Willow with an edge
to her voice.
"I'm sorry, how rude of me! Let me introduce myself. My name's
Leigh," she said, offering her hand. "I'm Kennedy's girlfriend."
Willow's eyes opened wide but she still absently took her hand and
shook it. Her cold hand. Glancing at the mirror behind the counter
Willow tensed when she saw only her reflection.
"Strong handshake," commented Leigh. Willow pulled her hand away and
again looked at what the girl was wearing.
"Okay, I'm thinking the saying cold hands, warm heart doesn't quite
apply here," snapped Willow.
"Why don't we take a booth?" suggested Leigh, phrasing it more as
demand than a request. "I wouldn't want to upset anyone if they
happened to look..."
"Where's Kennedy?" demanded Willow.
"Oh, she's sleeping. I knew she was meeting you this morning and I
wanted you to know she'd be a little late. Poor thing, I kept her up
late last night. She's really tired," grinned Leigh, eagerly waiting
for Willow's reaction.
Willow clenched her teeth more out of embarrassment than anger.
"Why should I believe you?" glared Willow, keeping her voice low.
"Hey...Willow, I wouldn't hurt her. Really. She's fine," said Leigh
sincerely. "Let me tug on your coat awhile and I'll explain."
Leigh nodded toward a booth away from the front window and Willow
nodded in agreement. Willow took her tea with her and they sat down.
"How did you..."
"Get here?" finished Leigh. "If you were from around here you'd know
that the fog usually doesn't burn off for another hour or two."
"Oh," said Willow, glancing at the front window.
"I like your clothes," smiled Leigh. Willow sat up a little
uncomfortably. "Since you lost that outfit back in Sunnydale I'm
guessing you replaced it. Good choice. Trust me, it will make a big
impression on Kennedy. It is what you wore on your first date, isn't
it?"
"Yes," answered Willow suspiciously. "Okay, this is kinda creepy.
No, it's, it's way past that. How do you know so much about me? And
why do we look like Mary-Kate and Ashley?"
"She talks a lot about you. Emphasis on the `a lot' part. And
here's something for you to think about," said Leigh, pausing to
make her point. "She buys my clothes."
Willow scrunched up her face, half in disgust and half with confusion.
"In fact, I encourage it. And I owe you an apology," frowned Leigh.
"Huh?"
"About that other woman comment. I'm really the other woman. You
know she's still in love with you, right?" asked Leigh reluctantly.
She met Willow's blank stare but quickly and awkwardly looked away.
"Oh my God," whispered Willow. "You...you're in love with her!"
Leigh winced and was about to protest but remained silent. The
slightest slump of her shoulders confirmed Willow's accusation.
"Are you?" countered Leigh, her voice small.
It was Willow's turn to look away.
"Morning. Would you like to see a menu?" asked the waitress,
suddenly standing in front of them, looking over her rhinestone
glasses first at Willow then at Leigh. She chomped on gum as she
waited for an answer.
"Just a coffee, thanks," nodded Leigh.
"Um...could I just get some toast?" asked Willow, simply to say
something. Hunger was the last thing she was thinking of.
"Sure. Be right back," smiled the waitress.
Willow looked at Leigh...and smiled.
"What?" asked Leigh, almost smiling herself.
"You have freckles," said Willow, trying not to laugh.
"Yeah. She says their likable," nodded Leigh.
"Hmph, she told me mine were lickable," bragged Willow, putting
emphasis on the last word.
"Lickable?" repeated Leigh. Willow grinned proudly.
"Anyway, yeah, irony can be ironic that way, seeing that the sun
usually brings the freckles out," agreed Leigh. Willow slowly
stopped smiling.
"Okay...why?" she asked, shaking her head. "Or even better, how?
I'm mean, you're a...and, and she's a...and, you know, you're giving
evil a bad name here! Where's your dignity, girl?"
Leigh shrugged.
"As for the why, well, maybe...maybe it's just fate," said Leigh,
shrugging again.
"Then get a new fate!" barked Willow.
"Willow, we're together now."
"I'm all tingly," replied Willow sarcastically, holding up her
arm. "See? Goosebumps."
"Look, I didn't have to come here," answered Leigh harshly. "We
could talk `til you get blue in the face and talk `til the cows come
home all blue in the face but unless you listen to what I have to
say..."
Willow inhaled deeply and nodded.
"Sorry," winced Willow. "I'm not a morning-wiggins girl. Not that
your night time-wiggins is such a blast but as you might imagine this
is rather disturbing, not that disturbing even begins to describe
this and, and I'm taking a breath now because, well, I can and you
can't. So there. Not that you need to, but...okay, stopping now."
Willow took a sip of her tea and rolled her eyes.
"In these situations I tend to babble rather than do the non-verbal,"
explained Willow.
"I know," nodded Leigh.
"Really wish you'd stop saying that," sighed Willow.
"Sorry," laughed Leigh, though not in a mean way.
"You know, I'm still stuck on the whole how part," said Willow.
"I reminded her of...someone," grinned Leigh. "She needed to talk.
More importantly, I listened. I kissed her, she let me, she kissed
me, I encouraged her. That's the short version."
"Oh," nodded Willow absently. "Thanks for not dwelling on the
details."
Leigh smiled and Willow could see that her sympathy was sincere.
After a moment Willow's eyes slowly opened wide but she didn't say
anything, instead she took another sip from her cup.
"Can I ask you something?" asked Willow warily.
"Sure," shrugged Leigh.
"Does she...what I mean is..."
Willow took in a deep breath and then forced out her question with a
whisper.
"Does she call you by my name?" cringed Willow.
Leigh hesitated but then nodded. Willow's shoulders slumped.
"I don't think I want that toast anymore," complained Willow, holding
her stomach.
"Willow, I didn't come here to torment you. Not that it's not fun.
Hello, I am evil!" reminded Leigh.
"There's that," agreed Willow. "So...why are you here again?"
"To explain to you why Kennedy is better off with me than you," said
Leigh as if it were plainly obvious. Willow's eyes again opened wide
just as the waitress brought their order.
***
Kennedy woke and immediately knew something was wrong. Not only was
she alone in her bed but a glance at the clock confirmed that she had
overslept and would be late meeting Willow. Then she noticed the
note on the pillow next to her.
"Kennedy, Willow called to say that it would be better to meet for
lunch around one o'clock. I think she was embarrassed when I
answered the phone and I told her you were sleeping. Didn't want to
wake you - not after last night! You needed to rest. So I'll meet
you tonight sometime. Have fun! Love, Leigh."
Kennedy read the note again and then shrugged. She smiled when she
thought about last night...until she thought about Willow. Crumpling
the note up, she tossed it away and headed for the shower.
***
"Let me start...not quite at the beginning," said Leigh. She had
both hands on her cup of coffee but hadn't tasted it yet. Willow's
cold toast remained untouched on her plate.
"How did you meet?" inquired Willow, trying not to appear impatient.
"Funny, that's right where I was going. I saved her life," smiled
Leigh.
"You...wait, a vampire, saving a Slayer's life," said Willow, needing
to hear the words out loud. She exhaled, puffing out her cheeks as
she shook her head. "Sure. Why not?"
"I'm getting to that. Kennedy had been fighting a vampire, actually
had the upper hand too...until he landed a lucky punch. She was
dazed. He threw her against a wall...she was barely conscious."
Leigh wasn't looking at her and Willow understood that Leigh was
reliving that fight.
"He wrapped his arms around her, pinning her arms to her side.
Bastard almost got his fangs into her neck before I snuck up behind
him and dusted him."
Leigh didn't say anything for a moment, then looked up at Willow.
"I could've killed her, right then. Would've been so easy. And she
knew it, too. I could see it in her eyes. Not fear. No...something
else. Acceptance."
"She, she wanted to die?" asked Willow.
"No. No, not at all. She just knew at that moment that she could
die. Guess it comes with the job. Instead, well...instead, I helped
her to her feet and asked her if she would be okay. Talk about your
non-verbal!" laughed Leigh.
"Kennedy knew, right? What you were. Um, I mean are. What you
are," repeated Willow.
"Sure," shrugged Leigh. "She's a Slayer. She knew. Just like I
knew what she was. Um...is. What she is."
"Oh. Yeah, kinda figured," nodded Willow. "It's just...nevermind.
So, what happened next?"
"I turned my back to her and walked away," smiled Leigh. "Normally
not such a smart thing for a vamp to do with a Slayer. Almost made
it to the door, too, before she yelled out `wait!'. So I turned
around just looked at her."
"And?" asked Willow, no longer caring if she seemed impatient.
"She said one word; why?"
"Same word I said about thirty minutes ago," sighed Willow, tapping
her fingers on the table. Leigh just smiled, knowing that it would
bother Willow.
"Okay, you have the green eyes...which, and I doubt if you knew,
Kennedy probably noticed first. And sure, the red hair and you're
about my height, but we don't look alike. Ignoring this fashion
statement for the moment, of course," sighed Willow, frowning at
Leigh's clothes. "My face is rounder, for instance."
"That and I have at least one cup size on you," smiled Leigh.
"Pfft! That padded bra ain't fooling anyone, girlfriend," laughed
Willow. Leigh frowned.
"It's not so much the looks," countered Leigh somewhat
uncomfortably. "It's the concept...the illusion."
"Hence the bra," countered Willow. "And the word is deception, not
illusion."
"Back to my story," said Leigh, quickly changing the subject. "I
told her that this was my town, that I didn't allow any other vamps
in my territory. And then I told her that I thought she was cute."
"Still doesn't explain why she didn't make you go poof," pouted
Willow. Leigh smiled but only one side of her mouth turned up, as if
she was amused.
"Kennedy's right. You're cute when you pout."
Willow crossed her arms and didn't say anything. Leigh took a sip of
coffee.
"Ah, that's the way I like my coffee, dark and bitter...just like my
relationships," teased Leigh. Willow still didn't say anything.
"Just so you know, we have a no bite rule," said Leigh.
"Really? That's too bad. Kennedy is one hell of a nibbler," replied
Willow sympathetically, though a hint of a smile curled up at the
side of her mouth. Leigh didn't say anything at first but then
slowly smiled.
"Anyway, if you spend some time here, it doesn't take long to realize
that the crime rate is very low. Maybe low isn't the right word.
Crime is...it's very rare. And when it does happen, well, let's just
say it doesn't take very long before the criminal either mysteriously
disappears or is found dead."
Willow blinked and uncrossed her arms, instantly understanding what
Leigh meant.
"You!"
"Yep, guess you could say that," grinned Leigh proudly. "It's not
that the local police know me or even really understand, they just
like the status quo...rarely if ever do they even investigate stuff.
Oh, they go through the motions to appease the politicians. The
people here understand too. Once I saw some boys playing, throwing
rocks at streetlights. You know, just being kids. But the look on
their faces when one of the lights broke! Their eyes opened wide,
they stared at the kid who had thrown the rock and then they ran home
like a pack of wild dogs was chasing them!"
"Oh my God. You didn't..."
"No, of course not!" frowned Leigh. "I'm evil, not stupid."
"So you...this town...it's like an Urban Legend or something," said
Willow.
"Yeah. Something like that, with a ghost story or two thrown in.
Quiet little burg, not much of a night life. Oh, just so you know,
lesbians in this town are like vamps; they should be and are
invisible. Kinda conservative but it's a nice arrangement, with a
diverse menu," nodded Leigh. "Rapists, corrupt politicians...just
took care of a drug dealer the other night."
"Took care of? So you're judge and jury?"
"Something like that," shrugged Leigh.
"And when there's no crime for a long time? Kinda thinking you get a
little hungry, no?" wondered Willow out loud.
"There's always the butcher shop or the occasional rat. Believe it
or not I don't steal blood from the Red Cross or even the hospital.
It's not so much ethics as me not wanting to draw attention to
myself," explained Leigh.
"Nah, wouldn't wanna do that, especially with a Slayer around. But
that can't be why...I mean, Kennedy wouldn't cut a deal with you! So
why..."
"Didn't I kill her?" interrupted Leigh, teasingly but with an edge to
her voice. "Back to that again. Or is the real question...why is
she my lover?"
Willow flinched.
"I didn't kill her because I was curious, because I wanted to know if
honor meant anything to a Slayer."
"Honor?" said Willow a little too loudly.
"Sure. I did save her life. She owed me. And there was that cute
thing I mentioned," smiled Leigh. "Still, her and I
are...it's...complicated."
"I've used that word before myself," said Willow.
"Good. Then maybe you'll understand that my relationship with
her...is more about you."
Willow cringed and glanced at the front window, wishing that the fog
would lift.
***
Kennedy rubbed her hair in the towel one last time before tossing it
aside on the bathroom floor. She opened a drawer to look for a comb
but instead found a wooden stake. For a moment she didn't move but
her eyes remained fixed on the weapon. A Slayer's weapon. Could she
still claim to be a Slayer? Her hand reached out but not for the
stake. Instead she slowly raised her hand until her fingers brushed
across the scars on the side of her neck.
Glancing at the clock she knew she could do what she needed to do and
still be back in time to meet Willow. Her hand closed around the
stake. It felt comfortable, familiar. She grasped in tighter. And
Kennedy knew that if she wanted to call herself a Slayer, she had to
earn that right back. Ignoring her sudden nervousness by taking in a
deep breath, Kennedy slipped the stake into her back pocket.
It was time to kill a vampire.
***
"Willow, no one wants to be alone. Life's too short."
"You don't have a life!"
"Yes, I do...I have hers."
"How?" demanded Willow.
"I give her what she needs, what she wants," said Leigh, pausing to
see if Willow understood where she was going.
"She needs me!" glared Willow, jabbing a finger into her chest.
Leigh leaned forward, very close to Willow's face but Willow didn't
draw back.
"Exactly," smiled Leigh. "But she doesn't have you." Willow's mouth
dropped open.
"No," winced Willow. She repeated the word silently, as if trying to
convince herself. Her stomach knotted up with that feeling that
comes just before a lie is revealed.
"I already told you she calls me by your name," reminded Leigh.
"In return for what?" gasped Willow.
"For what you can't give her!"
"Huh? You, you pretend to be me? That's sick! I know about the
letting go. You're not helping her, you're preventing her from
moving on!"
"Willow..."
"And you! Happy isn't seeking out misery in others so that your life
looks good by comparison. Make love to the darkness - been there,
done that, it's so over-rated! How did you get this hold over her?"
"I didn't kill her. We talked. More importantly, I listened. You
know, Kennedy tries to act like she doesn't care that there's someone
new in your life."
"What!?" answered Willow, almost shouting. Leigh just stared at her,
smiling.
"But there's no one, new or otherwise," protested Willow.
"Willow, please. Your love life is fast becoming a bad country song,
don'tcha think?" frowned Leigh.
"But...you don't mean...no, see, we talked about this. I know what
she thinks she saw but what she saw isn't what she saw and, and she
wasn't supposed to see what she saw," whined Willow.
"Huh?" grimaced Leigh.
"We are talking about that kiss, right?" whispered Willow.
"I'm thinking yes. Willow, do the words `I kinda love you' ring any
Pavlovian bells?"
"Huh? Oh. Oh! No, no, see, Buffy didn't mean love love, the kind
with the big L, she meant...and that was so long ago, I mean, come on
now. Wow, you guys really did talk a lot about me," winced Willow.
"Soooo, you're trying to tell me that you've never had lusty feelings
for your best friend?" asked Leigh, tilting her head slightly to one
side.
"No!" denied Willow.
"Okay. Fair enough. Just answer me one question?" challenged Leigh.
"Go on," answered Willow, somewhat timidly.
"Tell me about the kiss," smiled Leigh.
"Right. The kiss," repeated Willow, biting her lower lip.
"And you can cut right to the punch line. I've already heard
Kennedy's point of view and more than once, as you might guess. So I
already know about the copious amounts of alcohol, the hot night, the
skinny dipping...what I need to hear is, well...what did Willow
Rosenberg feel?"
Willow just looked at her for a moment, then raised her eyebrows and
nodded twice.
"Okay. Well, it was kinda...what I mean is, um, she sorta missed, ya
know? We weren't quite lined up...and, and it was too hard and, um,
what with the surprise and the oh wow and, okay, surprise kinda
covered that, hence the oh wow. She was the one who dared me but I
never thought she'd actually...but she did and, and I remember
thinking oh yeah, two can play at this so I made sure the kiss
lingered. And it lingered way past lingering and, okay, I think I
need to interject another oh wow here. So on a scale of one to
mother-of-god-I'm-blind, I'd have to say..."
Willow stopped and just stared at Leigh. She bit her lower lip again
and knew she needed to wipe her eyes but for some reason her hands
just wouldn't respond.
"Oh my God," whispered Willow, her eyes wide with this revelation.
"It was perfect," said Leigh.
Willow looked down and ever so slightly nodded.
"Yeah," whispered Willow. "It was perfect."
She looked up and laughed but it was an empty laugh.
"Did I mention about the alcohol?" winced Willow.
Leigh reached across the table and held Willow's hand. Willow tried
not to cry.
"Kennedy's trying to understand why I don't want her," sighed
Willow. "I thought it was Tara. All this time, I thought...I
thought..."
"It's not Tara. You got the wrong ghost. You're haunted by the
ghosts of what you denied yourself," nodded Leigh.
Willow pulled away and settled back into her seat. She was lost with
her own thoughts and didn't hear Leigh when she spoke. Leigh had to
repeat herself.
"You asked me what she gives me, what I get out of this. Willow, she
gives me sunlight."
"What?" whispered Willow absently.
"You can't understand this, but I miss the sun. When I was alive I
loved artists who worked light into their paintings. I never had any
talent for painting so I took up photography. Sunrise was my
favorite time of day. Always loved how the sand bars looked just
below the waves at low tide...you can't see that at night. The water
is only gray. Only gray," repeatedly Leigh forlornly.
Willow stared at her as if she were speaking a foreign language...one
Willow didn't speak.
"We collect sea glass. At night, obviously. I make wind chimes out
of them, hang them out on the porch, watch how the sunlight plays
with the colors early in the morning. From a safe distance, of
course. I like her tan...I love her tan," sighed Leigh, looking at
the porcelain white skin on her own arm.
"It's wrong. You keep her in pain," said Willow softly though her
anger was visible on her face.
"You're the one who said I was giving evil a bad name. The promise
of breaking her heart again and again would be motivation enough if I
were simply evil. But she needs me...and I need her. I'm alone,
just like her. And it sucks. Kennedy is living in the memory of a
love that she can't have and probably never did. You need to let her
go," said Leigh sadly.
Willow again looked out the front window. It seemed brighter now.
Leigh noticed as well.
"Willow, I won't hurt her. I wouldn't...I can't. She knows that."
"I don't. I can almost believe you. But maybe you wanna explain
about the marks on her neck? The scarf...I know what she's hiding,"
said Willow firmly.
"It wasn't me," denied Leigh. "She didn't tell you?"
"Tell me what?"
***
Kennedy stood outside, waiting for the fog to dissipate, knowing it
wouldn't help her once she was inside but comforted by the fact that
her vampire couldn't escape. She rolled the stake between her
fingers, reassured by its texture, drawing confidence from the
familiar weapon. Her heart was racing. She didn't care, didn't try
to calm herself.
One way or another, this had to end. Now.
***
"Tell me what?" repeated Willow louder.
"Kennedy is broken and it's not all about you. She's been beaten
twice now by a vampire. You understand what that can do to a
Slayer? Do you?"
"Twice? But...no, I was with her. I would've known. She wouldn't
hold something like that inside! You told me about the vamp, when
you saved her life..."
"Oh wow," said Leigh softly. "You really don't know."
"Leigh...please," pleaded Willow.
"In Rio, when she found you and Buffy...like that," said Leigh, as if
she too were embarrassed about it now. "She had been out...alone.
It was an ugly fight. Kennedy, she...she got bit. Bad. Only reason
she even lived was that the clumsy oaf tripped over his own two feet
and fell on her. She held up her stake...he fell on it."
"Oh God," cringed Willow.
"She lost a lot of blood. Still, she managed to stumble her way back
to you, just in time to..."
"Oh God," cried Willow, covering her mouth with a hand. "I saw her.
I called out her name. She ran away. Oh God."
Leigh stood up and it took a moment for Willow to realize this.
"I'm worried, too, because there's another vamp in town and I think
Kennedy might go after her. She's not ready. Not yet. Told her I'd
take care of it, but you know her. Once her mind is made up...I just
hope I find the vamp before Kennedy does."
Willow blinked. It was just too much to take in so soon.
"Think about what I've said. Really, really think about it. Sorry,
but I gotta run," added Leigh, nodded towards the door. It was
noticeably brighter outside. Leigh hesitated, as if she wanted to
say something, then turned and walked away.
"A vamp who likes sunlight...who woulda guessed," called out Willow.
Leigh stopped and looked back over her shoulder.
"Yeah. Funny thing, that. I like the feel of dead sunbleached grass
beneath my bare feet, the smell of the hot pavement after a summer
thunderstorm, the scent of sun dried leather of a car
dashboard...sometimes, after the sun sets, I place my cheek against
the sidewalk, savoring the warmth."
Leigh took a step back towards Willow, lowering her voice to just
louder than a whisper.
"Funny how the things you can't have are sometimes the things you
most crave, the ones you need. A vampire and a Slayer. Is it really
so surprising, so...wrong?"
***
Kennedy kicked open the door, ignoring her training, ignoring the
advantage of stealth. She wanted what she hunted to know who was
coming for her, to know what was coming for her. A Slayer. One very
pissed off Slayer.
The vamp stood in the middle of the room, her arms
crossed...waiting.
"Slayer," hissed the vamp, smiling.
Kennedy smiled right back, hoping it wouldn't notice that the hand
that held the stake was trembling.
END OF PART TWO
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Willow: "It's a good fight, Buffy, and I want in."
Buffy: "I kinda love you."
'Choices'
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