FIC: Again 2/5

["Jay" <Swanrvr80@xxxxxxx>]

Title: Again
Disclaimer:  These characters belong to Joss Whedon but he left the 
playground so I'm playing with them now.

PART TWO

Willow sat down at the counter and ordered a cup of tea.  She glanced 
at her watch and frowned, not surprised that she was twenty minutes 
early but frustrated that the morning seemed to be creeping along so 
slowly.  It hadn't helped that she had tumbled out of bed hours ago 
after growing bored with staring at the ceiling, waiting for first 
light after only getting a few hours of fitful sleep.

The waitress placed the tea in front of her and she stared into its 
surface, waiting for it to cool.  She had worn a red sweater with a 
matching suede jacket and dark brown pants.  Would Kennedy remember?  
More importantly, would she even care?  Willow pressed the tea bag 
against her spoon as a girl about her height and with red hair sat 
down on the stool next to her.  No matter, she and Kennedy would move 
to a booth where they could talk privately.

Willow noticed the girl was staring at her so she turned to say good 
morning but never formed the words.  She narrowed her eyes in 
surprise, glancing down twice at what she was wearing.  The girl 
smiled as Willow realized they were wearing the exact same clothes.

"So...I finally get to meet the other woman," greeted the girl.

"The...huh?" muttered Willow.

"Of course for you to be the other woman, wouldn't you have to be in 
a relationship with her?" grinned the girl.

"The other...excuse me, but do I know you?" asked Willow with an edge 
to her voice.

"I'm sorry, how rude of me!  Let me introduce myself.  My name's 
Leigh," she said, offering her hand.  "I'm Kennedy's girlfriend."

Willow's eyes opened wide but she still absently took her hand and 
shook it.  Her cold hand.  Glancing at the mirror behind the counter 
Willow tensed when she saw only her reflection.

"Strong handshake," commented Leigh.  Willow pulled her hand away and 
again looked at what the girl was wearing.

"Okay, I'm thinking the saying cold hands, warm heart doesn't quite 
apply here," snapped Willow. 

"Why don't we take a booth?" suggested Leigh, phrasing it more as 
demand than a request.  "I wouldn't want to upset anyone if they 
happened to look..."

"Where's Kennedy?" demanded Willow.

"Oh, she's sleeping.  I knew she was meeting you this morning and I 
wanted you to know she'd be a little late.  Poor thing, I kept her up 
late last night.  She's really tired," grinned Leigh, eagerly waiting 
for Willow's reaction.

Willow clenched her teeth more out of embarrassment than anger.

"Why should I believe you?" glared Willow, keeping her voice low.

"Hey...Willow, I wouldn't hurt her.  Really.  She's fine," said Leigh 
sincerely.  "Let me tug on your coat awhile and I'll explain."

Leigh nodded toward a booth away from the front window and Willow 
nodded in agreement.  Willow took her tea with her and they sat down.

"How did you..."

"Get here?" finished Leigh.  "If you were from around here you'd know 
that the fog usually doesn't burn off for another hour or two."

"Oh," said Willow, glancing at the front window.

"I like your clothes," smiled Leigh.  Willow sat up a little 
uncomfortably.  "Since you lost that outfit back in Sunnydale I'm 
guessing you replaced it.  Good choice.  Trust me, it will make a big 
impression on Kennedy.  It is what you wore on your first date, isn't 
it?"

"Yes," answered Willow suspiciously.  "Okay, this is kinda creepy.  
No, it's, it's way past that.  How do you know so much about me?  And 
why do we look like Mary-Kate and Ashley?"

"She talks a lot about you.  Emphasis on the `a lot' part.  And 
here's something for you to think about,"  said Leigh, pausing to 
make her point.  "She buys my clothes."

Willow scrunched up her face, half in disgust and half with confusion.

"In fact, I encourage it.  And I owe you an apology," frowned Leigh.

"Huh?"

"About that other woman comment.  I'm really the other woman.  You 
know she's still in love with you, right?" asked Leigh reluctantly.  
She met Willow's blank stare but quickly and awkwardly looked away.

"Oh my God," whispered Willow.  "You...you're in love with her!"

Leigh winced and was about to protest but remained silent.  The 
slightest slump of her shoulders confirmed Willow's accusation.

"Are you?" countered Leigh, her voice small.

It was Willow's turn to look away.

"Morning.  Would you like to see a menu?" asked the waitress, 
suddenly standing in front of them, looking over her rhinestone 
glasses first at Willow then at Leigh.  She chomped on gum as she 
waited for an answer.

"Just a coffee, thanks," nodded Leigh.

"Um...could I just get some toast?" asked Willow, simply to say 
something.  Hunger was the last thing she was thinking of.

"Sure.  Be right back," smiled the waitress.

Willow looked at Leigh...and smiled.

"What?" asked Leigh, almost smiling herself.

"You have freckles," said Willow, trying not to laugh.

"Yeah.  She says their likable," nodded Leigh.

"Hmph, she told me mine were lickable," bragged Willow, putting 
emphasis on the last word.

"Lickable?" repeated Leigh.  Willow grinned proudly.

"Anyway, yeah, irony can be ironic that way, seeing that the sun 
usually brings the freckles out," agreed Leigh.  Willow slowly 
stopped smiling.

"Okay...why?" she asked, shaking her head.  "Or even better, how?  
I'm mean, you're a...and, and she's a...and, you know, you're giving 
evil a bad name here!  Where's your dignity, girl?"

Leigh shrugged.

"As for the why, well, maybe...maybe it's just fate," said Leigh, 
shrugging again.

"Then get a new fate!" barked Willow.

"Willow, we're together now."

"I'm all tingly," replied Willow sarcastically, holding up her 
arm.  "See?  Goosebumps."

"Look, I didn't have to come here," answered Leigh harshly.  "We 
could talk `til you get blue in the face and talk `til the cows come 
home all blue in the face but unless you listen to what I have to 
say..."

Willow inhaled deeply and nodded.

"Sorry," winced Willow.  "I'm not a morning-wiggins girl.  Not that 
your night time-wiggins is such a blast but as you might imagine this 
is rather disturbing, not that disturbing even begins to describe 
this and, and I'm taking a breath now because, well, I can and you 
can't.  So there.  Not that you need to, but...okay, stopping now."

Willow took a sip of her tea and rolled her eyes.

"In these situations I tend to babble rather than do the non-verbal," 
explained Willow.

"I know," nodded Leigh.

"Really wish you'd stop saying that," sighed Willow.  

"Sorry," laughed Leigh, though not in a mean way.

"You know, I'm still stuck on the whole how part," said Willow.

"I reminded her of...someone," grinned Leigh.  "She needed to talk.  
More importantly, I listened.  I kissed her, she let me, she kissed 
me, I encouraged her.  That's the short version."

"Oh," nodded Willow absently.  "Thanks for not dwelling on the 
details." 

Leigh smiled and Willow could see that her sympathy was sincere.  
After a moment Willow's eyes slowly opened wide but she didn't say 
anything, instead she took another sip from her cup.

"Can I ask you something?" asked Willow warily.

"Sure," shrugged Leigh.

"Does she...what I mean is..."

Willow took in a deep breath and then forced out her question with a 
whisper.

"Does she call you by my name?" cringed Willow.

Leigh hesitated but then nodded.  Willow's shoulders slumped.

"I don't think I want that toast anymore," complained Willow, holding 
her stomach.

"Willow, I didn't come here to torment you.  Not that it's not fun.  
Hello, I am evil!" reminded Leigh.

"There's that," agreed Willow.  "So...why are you here again?"

"To explain to you why Kennedy is better off with me than you," said 
Leigh as if it were plainly obvious.  Willow's eyes again opened wide 
just as the waitress brought their order.

***

Kennedy woke and immediately knew something was wrong.  Not only was 
she alone in her bed but a glance at the clock confirmed that she had 
overslept and would be late meeting Willow.  Then she noticed the 
note on the pillow next to her.

"Kennedy, Willow called to say that it would be better to meet for 
lunch around one o'clock.  I think she was embarrassed when I 
answered the phone and I told her you were sleeping.  Didn't want to 
wake you - not after last night!  You needed to rest.  So I'll meet 
you tonight sometime.  Have fun!  Love, Leigh."

Kennedy read the note again and then shrugged.  She smiled when she 
thought about last night...until she thought about Willow.  Crumpling 
the note up, she tossed it away and headed for the shower.

***

"Let me start...not quite at the beginning," said Leigh.  She had 
both hands on her cup of coffee but hadn't tasted it yet.  Willow's 
cold toast remained untouched on her plate.

"How did you meet?" inquired Willow, trying not to appear impatient.

"Funny, that's right where I was going.  I saved her life," smiled 
Leigh.

"You...wait, a vampire, saving a Slayer's life," said Willow, needing 
to hear the words out loud.  She exhaled, puffing out her cheeks as 
she shook her head.  "Sure.  Why not?"

"I'm getting to that.  Kennedy had been fighting a vampire, actually 
had the upper hand too...until he landed a lucky punch.  She was 
dazed.  He threw her against a wall...she was barely conscious."

Leigh wasn't looking at her and Willow understood that Leigh was 
reliving that fight.

"He wrapped his arms around her, pinning her arms to her side.  
Bastard almost got his fangs into her neck before I snuck up behind 
him and dusted him."

Leigh didn't say anything for a moment, then looked up at Willow.

"I could've killed her, right then.  Would've been so easy.  And she 
knew it, too.  I could see it in her eyes.  Not fear.  No...something 
else.  Acceptance."

"She, she wanted to die?" asked Willow.

"No.  No, not at all.  She just knew at that moment that she could 
die.  Guess it comes with the job.  Instead, well...instead, I helped 
her to her feet and asked her if she would be okay.  Talk about your 
non-verbal!" laughed Leigh.

"Kennedy knew, right?  What you were.  Um, I mean are.  What you 
are," repeated Willow.

"Sure," shrugged Leigh.  "She's a Slayer.  She knew.  Just like I 
knew what she was.  Um...is.  What she is."

"Oh.  Yeah, kinda figured," nodded Willow.  "It's just...nevermind.  
So, what happened next?"

"I turned my back to her and walked away," smiled Leigh.  "Normally 
not such a smart thing for a vamp to do with a Slayer.  Almost made 
it to the door, too, before she yelled out `wait!'.  So I turned 
around just looked at her."

"And?" asked Willow, no longer caring if she seemed impatient.

"She said one word; why?"

"Same word I said about thirty minutes ago," sighed Willow, tapping 
her fingers on the table.  Leigh just smiled, knowing that it would 
bother Willow.

"Okay, you have the green eyes...which, and I doubt if you knew, 
Kennedy probably noticed first.  And sure, the red hair and you're 
about my height, but we don't look alike.  Ignoring this fashion 
statement for the moment, of course," sighed Willow, frowning at 
Leigh's clothes.  "My face is rounder, for instance."

"That and I have at least one cup size on you," smiled Leigh.

"Pfft!  That padded bra ain't fooling anyone, girlfriend," laughed 
Willow.  Leigh frowned.

"It's not so much the looks," countered Leigh somewhat 
uncomfortably.  "It's the concept...the illusion."

"Hence the bra," countered Willow.  "And the word is deception, not 
illusion." 

"Back to my story," said Leigh, quickly changing the subject.  "I 
told her that this was my town, that I didn't allow any other vamps 
in my territory.  And then I told her that I thought she was cute."

"Still doesn't explain why she didn't make you go poof," pouted 
Willow.  Leigh smiled but only one side of her mouth turned up, as if 
she was amused.

"Kennedy's right.  You're cute when you pout."

Willow crossed her arms and didn't say anything.  Leigh took a sip of 
coffee.

"Ah, that's the way I like my coffee, dark and bitter...just like my 
relationships," teased Leigh.  Willow still didn't say anything.

"Just so you know, we have a no bite rule," said Leigh.

"Really?  That's too bad.  Kennedy is one hell of a nibbler," replied 
Willow sympathetically, though a hint of a smile curled up at the 
side of her mouth.  Leigh didn't say anything at first but then 
slowly smiled. 

"Anyway, if you spend some time here, it doesn't take long to realize 
that the crime rate is very low.  Maybe low isn't the right word.  
Crime is...it's very rare.  And when it does happen, well, let's just 
say it doesn't take very long before the criminal either mysteriously 
disappears or is found dead."

Willow blinked and uncrossed her arms, instantly understanding what 
Leigh meant.

"You!" 

"Yep, guess you could say that," grinned Leigh proudly.  "It's not 
that the local police know me or even really understand, they just 
like the status quo...rarely if ever do they even investigate stuff.  
Oh, they go through the motions to appease the politicians.  The 
people here understand too.  Once I saw some boys playing, throwing 
rocks at streetlights.  You know, just being kids.  But the look on 
their faces when one of the lights broke!  Their eyes opened wide, 
they stared at the kid who had thrown the rock and then they ran home 
like a pack of wild dogs was chasing them!"

"Oh my God.  You didn't..."

"No, of course not!" frowned Leigh.  "I'm evil, not stupid."

"So you...this town...it's like an Urban Legend or something," said 
Willow.

"Yeah.  Something like that, with a ghost story or two thrown in.  
Quiet little burg, not much of a night life.  Oh, just so you know, 
lesbians in this town are like vamps; they should be and are 
invisible.  Kinda conservative but it's a nice arrangement, with a 
diverse menu," nodded Leigh.  "Rapists, corrupt politicians...just 
took care of a drug dealer the other night."

"Took care of?  So you're judge and jury?" 

"Something like that," shrugged Leigh.

"And when there's no crime for a long time?  Kinda thinking you get a 
little hungry, no?" wondered Willow out loud.

"There's always the butcher shop or the occasional rat.  Believe it 
or not I don't steal blood from the Red Cross or even the hospital.  
It's not so much ethics as me not wanting to draw attention to 
myself," explained Leigh.

"Nah, wouldn't wanna do that, especially with a Slayer around.  But 
that can't be why...I mean, Kennedy wouldn't cut a deal with you!  So 
why..."

"Didn't I kill her?" interrupted Leigh, teasingly but with an edge to 
her voice.  "Back to that again.  Or is the real question...why is 
she my lover?"

Willow flinched.

"I didn't kill her because I was curious, because I wanted to know if 
honor meant anything to a Slayer."

"Honor?" said Willow a little too loudly.

"Sure.  I did save her life.  She owed me.  And there was that cute 
thing I mentioned," smiled Leigh.  "Still, her and I 
are...it's...complicated."

"I've used that word before myself," said Willow.

"Good.  Then maybe you'll understand that my relationship with 
her...is more about you."

Willow cringed and glanced at the front window, wishing that the fog 
would lift.

***

Kennedy rubbed her hair in the towel one last time before tossing it 
aside on the bathroom floor.  She opened a drawer to look for a comb 
but instead found a wooden stake.  For a moment she didn't move but 
her eyes remained fixed on the weapon.  A Slayer's weapon.  Could she 
still claim to be a Slayer?  Her hand reached out but not for the 
stake.  Instead she slowly raised her hand until her fingers brushed 
across the scars on the side of her neck.  

Glancing at the clock she knew she could do what she needed to do and 
still be back in time to meet Willow.  Her hand closed around the 
stake.  It felt comfortable, familiar.  She grasped in tighter.  And 
Kennedy knew that if she wanted to call herself a Slayer, she had to 
earn that right back.  Ignoring her sudden nervousness by taking in a 
deep breath, Kennedy slipped the stake into her back pocket.

It was time to kill a vampire.

***

"Willow, no one wants to be alone.  Life's too short."

"You don't have a life!"

"Yes, I do...I have hers."

"How?" demanded Willow.

"I give her what she needs, what she wants," said Leigh, pausing to 
see if Willow understood where she was going.

"She needs me!" glared Willow, jabbing a finger into her chest.  
Leigh leaned forward, very close to Willow's face but Willow didn't 
draw back.

"Exactly," smiled Leigh.  "But she doesn't have you."  Willow's mouth 
dropped open.

"No," winced Willow.  She repeated the word silently, as if trying to 
convince herself.  Her stomach knotted up with that feeling that 
comes just before a lie is revealed.

"I already told you she calls me by your name," reminded Leigh.  

"In return for what?" gasped Willow.  

"For what you can't give her!"

"Huh?  You, you pretend to be me?  That's sick!  I know about the 
letting go.  You're not helping her, you're preventing her from 
moving on!"

"Willow..."  

"And you!  Happy isn't seeking out misery in others so that your life 
looks good by comparison.  Make love to the darkness - been there, 
done that, it's so over-rated!  How did you get this hold over her?"

"I didn't kill her.  We talked.  More importantly, I listened.  You 
know, Kennedy tries to act like she doesn't care that there's someone 
new in your life."

"What!?" answered Willow, almost shouting.  Leigh just stared at her, 
smiling.

"But there's no one, new or otherwise," protested Willow.

"Willow, please.  Your love life is fast becoming a bad country song, 
don'tcha think?" frowned Leigh.

"But...you don't mean...no, see, we talked about this.  I know what 
she thinks she saw but what she saw isn't what she saw and, and she 
wasn't supposed to see what she saw," whined Willow.

"Huh?" grimaced Leigh.

"We are talking about that kiss, right?" whispered Willow.

"I'm thinking yes.  Willow, do the words `I kinda love you' ring any 
Pavlovian bells?"

"Huh?  Oh.  Oh!  No, no, see, Buffy didn't mean love love, the kind 
with the big L, she meant...and that was so long ago, I mean, come on 
now.  Wow, you guys really did talk a lot about me," winced Willow.

"Soooo, you're trying to tell me that you've never had lusty feelings 
for your best friend?" asked Leigh, tilting her head slightly to one 
side.

"No!" denied Willow.

"Okay.  Fair enough.  Just answer me one question?" challenged Leigh.

"Go on," answered Willow, somewhat timidly.

"Tell me about the kiss," smiled Leigh.

"Right.  The kiss," repeated Willow, biting her lower lip.

"And you can cut right to the punch line.  I've already heard 
Kennedy's point of view and more than once, as you might guess.  So I 
already know about the copious amounts of alcohol, the hot night, the 
skinny dipping...what I need to hear is, well...what did Willow 
Rosenberg feel?"

Willow just looked at her for a moment, then raised her eyebrows and 
nodded twice.

"Okay.  Well, it was kinda...what I mean is, um, she sorta missed, ya 
know?  We weren't quite lined up...and, and it was too hard and, um, 
what with the surprise and the oh wow and, okay, surprise kinda 
covered that, hence the oh wow.  She was the one who dared me but I 
never thought she'd actually...but she did and, and I remember 
thinking oh yeah, two can play at this so I made sure the kiss 
lingered.  And it lingered way past lingering and, okay, I think I 
need to interject another oh wow here.  So on a scale of one to 
mother-of-god-I'm-blind, I'd have to say..."

Willow stopped and just stared at Leigh.  She bit her lower lip again 
and knew she needed to wipe her eyes but for some reason her hands 
just wouldn't respond.

"Oh my God," whispered Willow, her eyes wide with this revelation.

"It was perfect," said Leigh.

Willow looked down and ever so slightly nodded.

"Yeah," whispered Willow.  "It was perfect."

She looked up and laughed but it was an empty laugh.

"Did I mention about the alcohol?" winced Willow.

Leigh reached across the table and held Willow's hand.  Willow tried 
not to cry.

"Kennedy's trying to understand why I don't want her," sighed 
Willow.  "I thought it was Tara.  All this time, I thought...I 
thought..."

"It's not Tara.  You got the wrong ghost.  You're haunted by the 
ghosts of what you denied yourself," nodded Leigh.

Willow pulled away and settled back into her seat.  She was lost with 
her own thoughts and didn't hear Leigh when she spoke.  Leigh had to 
repeat herself.

"You asked me what she gives me, what I get out of this.  Willow, she 
gives me sunlight."

"What?" whispered Willow absently.

"You can't understand this, but I miss the sun.  When I was alive I 
loved artists who worked light into their paintings.  I never had any 
talent for painting so I took up photography.  Sunrise was my 
favorite time of day.  Always loved how the sand bars looked just 
below the waves at low tide...you can't see that at night.  The water 
is only gray.  Only gray," repeatedly Leigh forlornly.

Willow stared at her as if she were speaking a foreign language...one 
Willow didn't speak.

"We collect sea glass.  At night, obviously.  I make wind chimes out 
of them, hang them out on the porch, watch how the sunlight plays 
with the colors early in the morning.  From a safe distance, of 
course.  I like her tan...I love her tan," sighed Leigh, looking at 
the porcelain white skin on her own arm.

"It's wrong.  You keep her in pain," said Willow softly though her 
anger was visible on her face. 

"You're the one who said I was giving evil a bad name.  The promise 
of breaking her heart again and again would be motivation enough if I 
were simply evil.  But she needs me...and I need her.  I'm alone, 
just like her.  And it sucks.  Kennedy is living in the memory of a 
love that she can't have and probably never did.  You need to let her 
go," said Leigh sadly.

Willow again looked out the front window.  It seemed brighter now.  
Leigh noticed as well.

"Willow, I won't hurt her.  I wouldn't...I can't.  She knows that."

"I don't.  I can almost believe you.  But maybe you wanna explain 
about the marks on her neck?  The scarf...I know what she's hiding," 
said Willow firmly.

"It wasn't me," denied Leigh.  "She didn't tell you?"

"Tell me what?"

***

Kennedy stood outside, waiting for the fog to dissipate, knowing it 
wouldn't help her once she was inside but comforted by the fact that 
her vampire couldn't escape.  She rolled the stake between her 
fingers, reassured by its texture, drawing confidence from the 
familiar weapon.  Her heart was racing.  She didn't care, didn't try 
to calm herself.

One way or another, this had to end.  Now.

***

"Tell me what?" repeated Willow louder.

"Kennedy is broken and it's not all about you.  She's been beaten 
twice now by a vampire.  You understand what that can do to a 
Slayer?  Do you?" 

"Twice?  But...no, I was with her.  I would've known.  She wouldn't 
hold something like that inside!  You told me about the vamp, when 
you saved her life..."

"Oh wow," said Leigh softly.  "You really don't know."

"Leigh...please," pleaded Willow.

"In Rio, when she found you and Buffy...like that," said Leigh, as if 
she too were embarrassed about it now.  "She had been out...alone.  
It was an ugly fight.  Kennedy, she...she got bit.  Bad.  Only reason 
she even lived was that the clumsy oaf tripped over his own two feet 
and fell on her.  She held up her stake...he fell on it."

"Oh God," cringed Willow.

"She lost a lot of blood.  Still, she managed to stumble her way back 
to you, just in time to..."

"Oh God," cried Willow, covering her mouth with a hand.  "I saw her.  
I called out her name.  She ran away.  Oh God."

Leigh stood up and it took a moment for Willow to realize this.

"I'm worried, too, because there's another vamp in town and I think 
Kennedy might go after her.  She's not ready.  Not yet.  Told her I'd 
take care of it, but you know her.  Once her mind is made up...I just 
hope I find the vamp before Kennedy does."

Willow blinked.  It was just too much to take in so soon.

"Think about what I've said.  Really, really think about it.  Sorry, 
but I gotta run," added Leigh, nodded towards the door.  It was 
noticeably brighter outside.  Leigh hesitated, as if she wanted to 
say something, then turned and walked away.

"A vamp who likes sunlight...who woulda guessed," called out Willow.  
Leigh stopped and looked back over her shoulder.

"Yeah.  Funny thing, that.  I like the feel of dead sunbleached grass 
beneath my bare feet, the smell of the hot pavement after a summer 
thunderstorm, the scent of sun dried leather of a car 
dashboard...sometimes, after the sun sets, I place my cheek against 
the sidewalk, savoring the warmth."

Leigh took a step back towards Willow, lowering her voice to just 
louder than a whisper.

"Funny how the things you can't have are sometimes the things you 
most crave, the ones you need.  A vampire and a Slayer.  Is it really 
so surprising, so...wrong?"

***

Kennedy kicked open the door, ignoring her training, ignoring the 
advantage of stealth.  She wanted what she hunted to know who was 
coming for her, to know what was coming for her.  A Slayer.  One very 
pissed off Slayer.

The vamp stood in the middle of the room, her arms 
crossed...waiting.  

"Slayer," hissed the vamp, smiling.

Kennedy smiled right back, hoping it wouldn't notice that the hand 
that held the stake was trembling.

END OF PART TWO  
 




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Willow: "It's a good fight, Buffy, and I want in."
Buffy:  "I kinda love you."
                     'Choices'

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