Ficlet: New Moon Rising 1/1

["mike" <wizathogwarts@xxxxxxxxx>]

Joss owns everything except my ability to write things the way I 
think they should be.


The pale beige walls randomly adorned with posters contributed 
nicely to the funk I'm in.  Stupid Oz, why'd he come back now?   
Reminding me of why I fell for him hook, line and sinker.  

Damn it, I was just getting over her!  I had spent all this time 
with Oz, gave him everything I had to not think about her and then 
he leaves after screwing Veruca, which hurt like Hades but it really 
helped!  I actually didn't think about her for almost 6 weeks, well 
almost. There were a few times just before falling asleep when I 
needed to relieve some tension, but that's to be expected!

Then I met Tara and things clicked.  Oh, goddess how they clicked.  
My fantasies of soft female flesh, blonde hair and puckering nipples 
all transferred oh so nicely.  I was even able to imagine Tara as 
her in my pre sleep fantasies, well almost, at least at the 
beginning, but hey, it takes time to get someone like her out of 
your system.

Now I've got Oz to figure out what to do with and all I can do is 
sit here clutching this stupid stuffed animal.  Damn it, what am I 
going to do?

Shit, the door's opening.  It has to be her.  What am I going to say?

"Hey" She says.  I can see that she's taking in everything but she's 
cautious, just like she always is.

I need to cut her off.  "Hey, you okay?"  Turn the tables on her.

Hmmm, she's rubbing her neck.  She only does that when something's 
really bothering her.

"Yeah, I just - I don't wanna talk about it. I 
wanna hear about you and Oz. You saw him, right?

She's turned it right back on me, she's so good at that.  After all 
these years, you'd think I'd have learned how to counter it by now.  
She's either smarter than she pretends or I'm just a sucker.  I 
think it's a combination of both.


"I was with him all night."  I say, keeping my voice soft and 
helpless.  This seems to be my best defense against her so I use it 
whenever I can.

Damn, she raised her eyebrows.  What did I just say?  Oh yea, that 
would definitely get her thinking.  She's got such a gutter mind.  
Hmmm, why does she have a gutter mind about me?  This might just be 
worth exploring.

"All night?"  She grins hugely.  But she does sit next to me on my 
bed so points for me.

"Wait. Last night was a wolf moon, right?"  She's got that 
questioning yet concerned look.  I think I'll keep it simple and see 
where her mind goes.

"Yup."  Yea, that's simple enough.

"Either you're about to tell me something incredibly kinky, or-"  
She's just gone farther than I care, better head her off at the pass.

"No kink."  I smile hoping to disarm her dirty little mind.  Why 
does she think these things about me and Oz?  Why can't she think 
them about us?  Hmmm, I think it's time to give her a different 
perspective.  Yea, and I know just how to do it!  Well, not do it, 
do it.  Well I do, but just not with her do it.  I just know how to 
do what I'm planning on doing to get her to have a different 
perspective.  Yea, then maybe we can learn how to do it together.  
Whoops, stop it brain, you're getting ahead of the situation.  Let's 
not count our Buffy's before they're hatched.  

Time to disarm her so I smile, that shy smile that I know she loves.

"He didn't change, Buffy. He said he was gonna find a cure, and he 
did. In Tibet."  That should do it.  Yep, she just broke out into 
smile like she's really happy that I've got Oz back.  But why 
couldn't she look just a little disappointed?  Maybe even express 
some caution about me getting hurt again?  Is she so anxious to have 
me back with Oz?

"Oh my god. I can't believe it."  She pauses and I feel my mouth 
open slightly as I wait for her to continue.  "Okay, I'm all with 
the woo-hoo here, and you're not."

Wow, she's not totally clueless.  This just might be my opportunity.

"No, there's "woo" and, and "hoo." But there's "uh-oh," and... "why 
now And... it's complicated."

"Why complicated?"  She has this adorable look on her face, all 
concerned, worried and totally clueless while trying to figure 
things out look.  Goddess, I just want to grab her and kiss her.

So what do I do?  I sigh, a big soft sigh.  "It's complicated... 
because of Tara."  That should stir things up a bit.

She's frowning.  "You mean Tara has a crush on Oz?"

"No."  I respond softly.  Her eyes shoot wide, her whole posture 
goes rigid.  Buffy just got a clue!

"Oh!"  I can almost see the light bulb go on over her head.

I laugh a little nervously, can't help myself.  I'm treading in deep 
water here and I can feel the sharks circling.

Buffy stands up.  She becomes rather animated, like she's dangling 
on strings being jerked around by someone having a sneezing fit.

"Oh. Um... well... that's great. You know, I mean, I think Tara's a, 
a really great girl, Will."  Boy that was convincing, not!

"She is. And... there's something between us. It-it wasn't something 
I was looking for. It's just powerful. And it's totally different 
from what Oz and I have."  I try to explain while watching carefully 
for her reaction.

"Well, there you go, I mean, you know, you have to - you have to 
follow your heart, Will. And that's what's important, Will."  She is 
totally freaking out, but what's freaking her, she's not homophobic 
so why is she freaking that I like a girl?  

"Why do you keep saying my name like that?"  Time to put her on the 
spot.  

"Like what, Will?"  She's trying to sound innocent, but I know her 
to well.

I sit up straight so I can watch her reaction better.  "Are you 
freaked?"

"What? No, Will, d-"She suddenly stops; guess she realized what she 
was doing.  Her body relaxes slightly and she sighs, almost in 
resignation.  I watch her carefully as she sits slowly on the bed 
next to me.

"No, absolutely no to that question."  She's lying but she's really 
good at covering it.

I give her a look to let her know I'm not buying her bull.

"I'm glad you told me. What did you say to Oz?"  She responds 
quickly and again tries to turn the tables.

"I was gonna tell him ... but then we started hanging out, and ... I 
could just feel everything coming back."  She just looks sympathetic 
but I'm certain there's more and she's not getting away until I find 
out what it is.

"He's Oz, you know?"  I prod softly again watching her reaction.  
This time I notice a slight twitch to her eye.  Gothcha!

"Yeah. I know."  Her voice is sad.  I'm pretty certain why now I 
just have to get her to tell me.

"I don't wanna hurt anyone, Buffy."  I lay my final piece in 
preparation of my attack.

"No matter what, somebody's gonna get hurt.  And the important thing 
is, you just have to be honest, or it's gonna be a lot worse."  She 
tells me sagely and I know, I know with all my heart she's thinking 
that she's the one that needs to tell the truth.  But will she?  
Nope, not my Buffy, I'm going to have to drag it out of her.

I nod slowly and then I tell her.  "That includes you."

"Huhh?"  She looks startled, like a deer that's caught on the open 
road at night with a Mack Truck's headlights bearing down on her.

I enunciate very slowly.  "That includes you Buffy.  I don't want to 
hurt you anymore."  

She's frozen; I'm beginning to wonder if I've turned into Medusa and 
turned Buffy into stone.  I watch carefully and notice the eye 
twitch again.  I raise my hand and place it against her cheek and 
softly caress her face.  Her eye lids droop slightly as she leans 
into my hand.  The combination of shock and my touch have put her 
into a trance, just like sleeping beauty.

I know what to do now.  As her eyes close and she leans into my 
touch I bring my face to hers and softly place my lips on hers.  So 
gently so as not to disturb the moment but at the same time to 
awaken a future.  I have her, resting between panic and a dream she 
embraces the dream.  I'm her dream just as I suspected but I need to 
awaken my princess slowly.

So very softly I begin to caress her lips with mine and ever so 
gently I increase the pressure until I hear her moan.  I continue 
for a few more moments until I feel her searching out for more 
contact.  Then I pull back slightly.

"We both need to be honest Buffy.  And the truth is that you are in 
love with me as much as I'm in love with you."

In a dreamy state, softly like the flutter of angel wings she 
replies.  

"I love you, have always loved you and always will."

"Doesn't that feel great to finally tell the truth?"  I whisper 
softly afraid to disrupt that blissful state we both were in.

"Hmmm, yes but not as nice as your lips."  Her response is laced 
with breathy sighs as she leans towards me in search of my face.

I can't hurt her anymore and I don't want to hurt anymore so I meet 
her lips with mine.  

And all the pain, confusion and hurt just went away.





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Willow: "It's a good fight, Buffy, and I want in."
Buffy:  "I kinda love you."
                     'Choices'

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