FIC: A Good Idea at the Time 1/1

[Mike McD <mike_mcd@xxxxxxxxxxxx>]

Title: A Good Idea at the Time
Author: Mike McD
Rating: R (Australian system)
Summary: A short and silly B/W/X ficlet.
Distribution: Anywhere, just keep my name on it.
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer nor do I own any other 
characters. This is a work of fiction written for your enjoyment.

*-*-*-*-*

When asked some months after the event why she kissed Buffy, Willow was 
completely unable to come up with a reason. Buffy, when asked why she 
returned Willow’s kiss, was at least able to come up with a rather lame 
excuse.

It seemed like a good idea at the time.

They were sitting down watching television at the time the kiss 
occurred. TV can be blamed for many things, but only the insane could 
blame Wheel of Fortune for what happened that night.

And all the subsequent similar nights afterwards.

By this stage, Willow was an experienced kisser of women. True, she had 
only kissed two women in her life, but she had racked up some serious 
lip locking time with each of them. Buffy, on the other hand, had only 
ever kissed one girl once (Faith on a patrol one night) and had 
subsequently run off to maul her undead boyfriend in order to 
reestablish her heterosexuality.

So it wasn’t a surprise to Buffy that Willow would be a good kisser. The 
surprise for Buffy was just how much she enjoyed Willow’s kiss (and 
everything else that came later that night). For Willow the surprise 
came when Buffy grabbed her by the back of the head and jammed her 
tongue deep into her mouth.

It doesn’t sound all that great on paper but in reality it actually felt 
fantastic. Buffy used her tongue in such a way that, if Willow had been 
capable of conscience or rational thought at the time, would have made 
her wonder if Buffy had been muff diving before. It turned out that 
Willow’s was the one and only muff Buffy would ever dive.

But we’re getting ahead of ourselves here.

Now, where were we?

Oh yeah, kissing.

Forget soft and tender, this kiss was hot, hard, and just exploding lust 
everywhere. Their hands, indeed their whole bodies couldn’t keep still 
as they kissed. Hands went everywhere, including places that only 
minutes before had been off limits. Between the kissing and the groping 
there wasn’t much ability for either of the two female Scoobies to use 
any part of their brains not connected with lusty feelings.

Like the part of their brain which dealt with short term memory which 
would have reminded them that Xander was sitting no more than three feet 
away.

Xander, for his part, was having brain problems of his own.

Xander had a tendency to get so focused on the TV that he was oblivious 
to all else. As a result he didn’t notice his two friends sharing a 
tongue sandwich for nearly ten seconds. To be fair, only having one eye 
made for one hell of a blind spot and his two friends were sitting at 
the edge of it. When his peripheral vision finally made contact with his 
friends then reported its findings to that part of Xander’s brain that 
dealt with sex (that being pretty much all of it) TV was suddenly 
forgotten.

For the first ten seconds Xander’s brain did nothing except record what 
he was seeing for all eternity.

After its short shut down, some of his higher reasoning kicked in and 
promptly tried to make sense of what he was seeing.

Unfortunately what he was seeing didn’t make sense, prompting his brain 
to slip back into record only mode again.

After a minute, his brain suddenly exploded into life and reasoned that 
Xander had fallen asleep and was having a new variation of a regular 
dream. With his intellect sated, Xander sat back and enjoyed the dream.

A number of minutes went by before Xander’s intellect (let’s call that 
part of his brain Sherlock!Xander) became somewhat disturbed at what was 
happening. Sherlock!Xander wasn’t objecting to what it was seeing as 
such, rather it was the fact that something was terribly wrong in this 
picture.

‘Like what?’ another part of his brain asked (let’s call that part 
Cranky!Xander).

‘Well, this is a dream.’ Sherlock!Xander asked.

‘No shit Sherlock, you figured that out, like, ages ago.’

‘Then why is Wheel of Fortune still on? We hate that damn show. 
Shouldn’t we have edited out this damn idiot who couldn’t figure out the 
word CAT if you spotted him the C and the T and told him it was a type 
of pet? Where was the usual lingerie clad pillow fight? The magic ritual 
requiring nudity and orgies? The beach side coconut oil rub downs? Why 
the hell is...’ Sherlock!Xander flicked an eye over to the two girls 
‘Why the hell was Buffy wearing that ugly green top? Why is it taking so 
long for them to get to the hot stuff? Why is this dream so different 
from every other dream we’ve had about Buffy and Willow for the last 
seven years?’

‘I don’t know!’ Cranky!Xander snapped getting, well, cranky.

‘BECAUSE IT’S NOT A GODDAMNED DREAM!!!!!’ Sherlock!Xander bellowed, the 
words bouncing around Xander’s brain.

Not a dream? But if it wasn’t a dream that would mean...

HOLY SHIT!

At this point in time something snapped inside Xander’s brain and the 
next minute or two was just a complete blank in his memory. The next 
thing that he remembered was sitting down watching Buffy and Willow, not 
daring to move or breathe or even blink lest it upset the balance of the 
universe and make them stop doing what they were doing (i.e. each other).

It was a good theory that lasted as long as it took the last of Buffy 
and Willow’s clothes to hit the floor.

You can’t blame the man for a little gasp at this point. He’s been 
holding his breath for so long that he could see a long tunnel with dead 
relatives beckoning at the end of it.

Plus the fact that his two best and sexiest friends were now stark 
naked. Hell, at this point Michelangelo’s David would be gasping away 
like a convent full of nuns watching a porno.

However small the gasp was, it was big enough to remind the two female 
Scoobies that their one eyed best guy friend was in the room.

Xander expected shock. Xander expected horrified looks. Xander expected 
screaming and scrambling for cover.

What he didn’t expect was an exchange of looks and an invitation to join 
in.

History will record an unaccounted for supersonic boom seemingly 
originating from the lounge room of a small Californian town.

The boom was, of course, Xander’s clothes being flung off by their owner.

Now, for those of you reading this in the heavy breathing section of the 
internet, you’re shit out of luck. There won’t be any graphic 
descriptions of what happened next.

However it is worth noting that they did have some initial troubles in 
their carnal endeavors. Individually, the Scooby Gang was fairly kinky 
in the sack. But group sex was something new; the closest that any of 
them had got to group sex was using both hands to masturbate.

The logistics of the matter was formidable: 6 hands, 5 eyes, 4 breasts, 
3 tongues, 2 vaginas, and a penis with its associated Y chromosome. 
Fumbling was the order of the day, head smacked into head as two people 
simultaneously went for the same nipple, bruises given as strength was 
forgotten... If there had been a video camera recording the first Scooby 
Gang Bang (instead of the tenth one) it would have resembled a cross 
between Debbie Does Dallas and Mr. Bean.

The author is happy to report that despite the inexperience of the 
participants, a good time was had by all and everyone lived happily ever 
after.

Except for Spike.

Who died.

Again.



------------------------ Yahoo! Groups Sponsor --------------------~--> 
In low income neighborhoods, 84% do not own computers.
At Network for Good, help bridge the Digital Divide!
http://us.click.yahoo.com/S.QlOD/3MnJAA/Zx0JAA/RoMolB/TM
--------------------------------------------------------------------~-> 

Willow: "It's a good fight, Buffy, and I want in."
Buffy:  "I kinda love you."
                     —'Choices'

Community email addresses:
     Post message: buffywantswillow@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
     Subscribe:    buffywantswillow-subscribe@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
     Unsubscribe:  buffywantswillow-unsubscribe@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
     List owner:   buffywantswillow-owner@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Shortcut URL to this page:
     http://groups.yahoo.com/group/buffywantswillow

Official archive for the list:
     http://www.ikoly.com/fanfic

Other links to Buffy/Willow fics:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/buffywantswillow/links  
Yahoo! Groups Links

<*> To visit your group on the web, go to:
   http://groups.yahoo.com/group/buffywantswillow/

<*> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
   buffywantswillow-unsubscribe@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

<*> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to:
   http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/