FIC: Per Omnia Saecula Saeculorum (part 3)

["cdreramius" <mike_mcd@xxxxxxxxxxxx>]

Title: Per Omnia Saecula Saeculorum
Author: Tony McD
Rating: M (15+ for language and adult themes)
Summary: The events and consequences immediately after `Grave'.
Distribution: Anywhere, just keep my name on it. As long as I am
remembered, I will never truly die.
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer nor do I own any
other characters. This is a work of fiction written for your enjoyment.

*-*-*-*-*

Buffy awoke with the first rays of the new day.

And with the dawn of new day came the dawn of a new day in the lives
of the Scooby Gang.

Previously, the three of them bathing together then falling asleep
naked in the same bed would have been an overtly sensual and sexual
act. But nothing in the previous 72 hours had even been anywhere near
sensual or sexual. Instead it had been horror, death, destruction, and
grief.

There was symbolism in Buffy's actions. The lies and the baggage and
the whole rotten foundation of their friendship had come crashing
down, been burned to ashes, and then washed away.

There would be no more hiding, no more secrets, no more lies, no more
ignoring problems until they blew up in their faces.

Today was a new day.

Buffy slipped out of bed and dressed. Xander was still sleeping and
sometime during the night Willow had mercifully fallen asleep too.
Watching her friends sleep, Buffy was suddenly filled with a deep
desire to know what had happened up there on Kingman's Bluff.

So many questions she needed to ask and so many things she needed to do.

Leaving her sleeping friends, Buffy went down stairs to the kitchen,
her growling stomach reminding her she hadn't eaten for over a day.

As she ate her breakfast she went through in her mind what she needed
to do today.

Xander and Willow needed clothes to wear. That meant that she'd have
to go around to Xander's place to pick up enough clothes for a couple
of days. Buffy knew that Xander would lack both the ability and the
will to leave Willow's side for a while. Willow's clothes were in her
room.

The room where Tara had been killed.

The practical necessity of cleaning up the blood and repairing the
broken window loomed distastefully. Buffy would have to organize that
today too.

Giles needed to be picked up from the hospital this morning as well.
Buffy had about four hours before she needed to get him. She knew she
would have to lean on Giles heavily for support, both practical and
emotional.

Then there was the matter of funeral arrangements for Tara. Buffy
concluded that it would be able to be dealt with tomorrow. Today's
priority would be the living.

Tara would have understood.

Dawn.

Her sister had sat in the room with Tara's body for God knows how
long. Tara had become a mother figure to Dawn after Joyce's death and
even more so after Buffy's death.

The two Summers sisters needed each other more than ever now.

Washing down the last bit of toast with her coffee, Buffy headed up to
see Dawn.

*-*-*-*-*-*

Locum refrigerii, lucis et pacis, ut indulgeas, deprecamur.

(We beseech Thee, to grant of Thy goodness, a place of comfort, light
and peace.)

*-*-*-*-*-*

In the comfort of sleep she looked so peaceful. Buffy looked down at
her sister and was struck by how much Dawn had changed while she
hadn't been looking. Even the innocence bestowed to all by the depths
of sleep could not hide Dawn's transformation from child to young woman.

But the peace and innocence would not last longer than it took to stir
from sleep to awakening.

Almost as if Buffy's thoughts were loud enough to wake her sister,
Dawn's eyes opened and locked onto her sisters.

Buffy could see Dawn's mind stirring, the events, the pain, the
horrors, the grief of the last few days pushing their way into the
forefront of Dawn's mind.

The first of many tears that would be shed that day filled the eyes of
the two sisters and spilled down their cheeks. Buffy rapidly headed
over to Dawn and they held onto each other as they let their grief
pour out.

All their pain, all their losses, all their hurt flooded out from
where ever they had bottled it up inside of them. They took comfort
from each other in ways that only siblings could ever could. Their
bond was forever cemented, not in their shared blood up on the tower,
but in their shared tears up in Dawn's room.

When their tears had stopped, Buffy stroked her sister's long hair.

"I'm sorry Dawnie. I'm so sorry Dawnie."

"Sorry for what?"

"For everything. For Tara, and mom, and me. I'm sorry for abandoning
you, for hurting you, for not being there to look after you."

"Buffy, I don't..."

"No Dawn, I need to say this. I'm sorry that I can't look after you
like mom did. I'm not mom, I don't know how to be her, and I can't be
her. Not a day passes without me wishing she was still here. But she's
not here, and I am.

"I tried to look after you, to keep you safe, to give you a normal
life. But I can't." Buffy wiped at the tears on her face then
indicated to herself in sad frustration. "I can hardly look after
myself let alone you. I need help. And at the moment I've also gotta
look after Xander and Willow."

"WHAT? Where are they? What happened? Are they OK?"

"Xander brought Willow home yesterday. I don't know exactly what
happened. Xander's pretty badly beaten up, cuts, bruises, cracked
ribs. Willow's completely catatonic."

"Like how you went when Glory got me."

Buffy looked at her sister in surprise.

"How did you...?"

"Willow told me. She told me everything after... when you were..."

"Dead." Buffy finished for her sister. Dawn nodded and looked down at
her hands, which were in her lap.

"Yeah. That summer, Willow and Xander and Tara and Spike did their
best to look after me. But it wasn't the same as... and Tara..." Dawn
started crying again and Buffy wrapped her arms about her sister in
comfort.

"Oh God Buffy! It's like... like loosing mom all over again!" weeping
uncontrollably now, Dawn continued, "she was just laying there... in
all the blood. And her eyes..."

Buffy held onto Dawn, letting her pour out all the grief and pain.
Buffy's heart broke at the thought of Dawn, in the room with Tara's
body, staring into her dead eyes for god knows how long.

So much pain.

For a long time they clung to each other, sharing their pain,
unwilling to let go of the other.

Eventually there were no more tears left to shed.

"Where are they? Willow and Xander, where are they?" Dawn asked Buffy.

"In my room. They're both asleep right now." Buffy sighed resignedly
"There's so much to do."

"What can I do to help?"

Buffy looked at her sister with a mixture of sadness and pride.

Sadness in the end of Dawn's childhood.

Pride in the woman Dawn had become.

"You know I love you, don't you?" Buffy asked Dawn.

"I love you to Buffy." Buffy hugged her.

"Come on down to the kitchen, Dawn. I'll make you some breakfast and
we'll come up with a plan for the day."

*-*-*-*-*-*

Panem caelestem accipiam, et nomen Domini invocabo.

(I will take the Bread of Heaven, and call upon the name of the Lord.)

*-*-*-*-*-*






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Willow: "It's a good fight, Buffy, and I want in."
Buffy:  "I kinda love you."
                     'Choices'

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