FIC: Per Omnia Saecula Saeculorum 11

["cdreramius" <mike_mcd@xxxxxxxxxxxx>]

Title: Per Omnia Saecula Saeculorum
Author: Tony McD
Rating: M (15+ for language and adult themes)
Summary: The events and consequences immediately after `Grave'.
Distribution: Anywhere, just keep my name on it. As long as I am
remembered, I will never truly die.
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer nor do I own any
other characters. This is a work of fiction written for your enjoyment.

*-*-*-*-*


A week after Giles and Willow left they buried Tara. As her casket was
lowered into the ground, Buffy, Dawn, and Xander wept openly, mourning
their loss.

In her short life, Dawn had watched her mother, then her only sister,
be buried in the cold, dark earth. Now she watched for a third time
someone she loved reach their journey's end.

Buffy had returned from her grave.

Her mother and Tara never would.

Nobody knew the fragility of human life better than the Scoobies. Dawn
also knew that without the Scoobies there would be far, far more
people suffering the loss of loved ones. But right then, Dawn didn't care.

Tara was dead and that was all that mattered.

Ashes to ashes. Dust to dust.

Xander drew Buffy and Dawn together in a hug, the embrace as much
about seeking solace from them as it was about giving it. Dawn looked
up and wasn't surprised to the haunted look on his face as he watched
the proceedings.

Sooner or later, they would all finish their life's journey here.

*-*-*-*-*

Quoniam non est in morte, qui memor sit tui; in inferno autem quis
confitebitur tibi?

(For in death there is no remembrance of thee: in the grave who shall
give thee thanks?)

*-*-*-*-*

Afterwards, back home, they shared a quiet remembrance of their fallen
friend. They laughed at the funny memories of times with Tara and
cried when they realised there would be no more.

Dawn wondered how Willow was going.

Giles had called once he and Willow had arrived safely in England and
gave them an address that they could write to.

They all missed Willow, especially Xander.

Dawn decided to cook that night. The funeral had been hard on them but
it seemed to hit Xander hardest of all. Dawn wondered if it was
because Xander blamed himself for not stopping Warren. If so, then
Dawn thought it to be ridiculous. Not even Buffy with all her Slayer
speed and strength was able to stop Warren.

As it was it had been a miracle that Xander had kept Buffy alive long
enough for the paramedics to arrive.

Then there was the unknown miracle of how he saved the world.

Xander was down and Buffy was doing her best to be there for him,
cheer him up even a little. It was a task made even more difficult as
the funeral had forced Buffy to confront her own deaths.

The plural made Dawn tremble slightly.

Dawn busied herself in the kitchen and tried not to think about that
particular subject too much.

Buffy's efforts with Xander eventually paid off. During dinner Xander
seemed to perk up a little more. He wasn't a happy smiling Xander by
any means, but he wasn't the black hole of misery that he had been
since the funeral. He even managed to make a joke about cooking at
Buffy's expense.

This one time, Buffy's look of outrage was more faked than real.

*-*-*-*-*

Animus gaudens aetatem floridam facit, spiritus tristis exsiccat ossa.

(A joyful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit dries up the bones.)

*-*-*-*-*

Dawn and Xander were in the kitchen doing the washing up while Buffy
went out for a quick patrol.

"Xander."

"Yeah."

"I've been thinking."

"Never a good sign."

"I'm being serious here."

"Fine. What have you been thinking?"

"I was thinking that maybe you might wanna... move in. With us."

Xander stopped what he was doing and looked at the youngest Summers.

"Move in? As in live here?"

"Yes. I mean, come on... you've been spending most of your time here
and last night, the first time you actually went back to your place to
sleep, Buffy ends up staying there after patrol. Why not stop the
whole musical house thing and move in."

"I don't know, Dawn."

"It'll be good for you and good for Buffy. Especially Buffy."

"Whaddya mean?"

"Buffy's been through a lot, we all have. She needs all the support
she can get and frankly I can't think of anyone else better than you
to be there for her. She's beginning to open up, especially with you.
Besides, we need someone who can reach the top shelf and unclog a drain."

Xander chuckled.

"Sound more like you needing a butler."

"No. It's Buffy needing her friends here with her to help her. Not
just with the slaying but with life and everything. She's got the
weight of the whole world on her shoulders and nobody should have to
do that alone. She needs people she can trust."

Xander considered Dawn's proposal. What she was saying was true, but
he was also a little uncomfortable with the idea. He didn't want to
hurt Buffy or Dawn or Willow any more than he was going to...

"Considering how much money you spent paying the bills and the
mortgage I don't think it's fair for you to pay rent when we've got a
room here for you."

Xander stepped back in surprise.

"How did you..."

"Giles went through the records. Don't worry, your secret is safe. I
haven't told Buffy. Yet." Dawn would save that for when she would talk
to Buffy about Xander moving in. "So what do you say?"

Xander gazed down at the sink, torn between two competing emotions of
wanting to help and not wanting to hurt.

"It's up to Buffy." He demurred. "If she says yes then..."

"Yes."

Xander and Dawn spun around to see Buffy standing in the doorway of
the kitchen with tears building in her eyes. Buffy had come back to
get her jacket when she overheard their conversation.

"Buffy, I, uh..." Xander didn't know quite what to say. "Are you sure?"

Wiping away her tears with her sleeve, she nodded.

"Yeah." She looked down trying to control her emotions but failed
miserably as she burst into tears. Dawn and Xander rushed over and
hugged her.

"I need help."

Buffy's voice was so small and brittle.

They knew it was the three most difficult words Buffy had ever said.
She was the Slayer, the proud, independent warrior who stood alone
against the forces of evil. She was also a Summers woman, strong
willed and stubborn like her mother before her. Admitting she couldn't
handle something and asking for help was a desperate last resort.

Xander leant close to Buffy's ear and whispered.
	
"So do I."

*-*-*-*-*

Dissipantur cogitationes, ubi non est consilium; ubi vero sunt plures
consiliarii, confirmantur.

(Without consultation, plans are frustrated, but with many counselors
they succeed.)

*-*-*-*-*

They sat down and worked out the new arrangements. Xander would have
Willow and Tara's old room and Willow, when she returned, would share
with Buffy. The stuff in Xander's apartment that couldn't fit in his
room would be stored in the basement until they could come up with
something better.

Buffy had insisted in paying Xander back and Xander had refused to let
her, both digging in stubbornly and knowing the other wasn't going to
budge on the issue. Xander knew that in the end he would eventually
have the last word on the matter regardless of what Buffy said or did.

He only hoped he was doing the right thing.

*-*-*-*-*

Et habitate nobiscum; terra in potestate vestra est: manete,
perambulate et possidete eam.

(And ye shall dwell with us: and the land shall be before you; dwell
and trade ye therein, and get you possessions therein.)

*-*-*-*-*






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Willow: "It's a good fight, Buffy, and I want in."
Buffy:  "I kinda love you."
                     'Choices'

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