Love is a Gift (1/6) W/X NC17

[thebear@xxxxxxxxxxxxx]

Title: Love is a Gift
Author: The Bear!
Spoilers: None of note
Pairing: X/W
Summary: Sequel to All Saints Day
(http://papa-bear.com/fanfic/AllSaintsDay.html)
Warnings:  NC17 (Lots of sex, like thats a surprise.)
Disclaimer: If I owned em, theyd have to show it on the Ecstasy Network.
Authors Note: Ok, here it is as promisedMy Christmas present to you all!
This little Christmas treat is 99.9% angst-free, stuffed with fluff,
coated in syrupy sweetness, and chock-full of sexy goodness!
========== BtVS ==========
Part 1

It was two oclock in the morning and I couldnt sleep.  Normally I can
sleep at the drop of a hat; I mean Im practically known for itXander
Harris, sleeper extraordinaire!  Of course, I havent actually tried
dropping any hats to see...I mean its just an expression, right?  Im
more of a fall asleep at the open of a textbook type.

Anyway, I was laying there staring at the ceiling, completely unable to
sleep.  Another one of the Scoobies might wonder if I was staying up
thinking about the killer robot we just helped Buffy bury a couple weeks
ago.  Or, maybe it was those Tarakan assassins that almost killed several
of us the week before that...ugh!  As if I didnt already think maggots
were gross...It could have even been finding out about Giles little walk
on the dark side with the whole Eyghon thing.  Any one of those, not to
mention just living on the Hellmouth, fighting the forces of evil, could
keep a normal person up nights.

It wasnt any of those things, though.  The reason I was laying there in
the dark, wide awake, nowhere near sleep, is because of Willow.

Willow Rosenberg...just the name brings a smile to my face.  Rolling onto
my side, I stared at her face again.  Id been switching between her face
and the ceiling for the last two hours.  I stared at the ceiling hoping to
fall asleep, but I kept thinking of her, and every time I thought of her,
Id feel this intense need to look at her.  Youd think after us being
lovers for six weeks Id get over the amazement...but I had so not.  Every
time I looked at her I felt this...I dont know; it was like amazement and
lust and happiness and love and...just everything good, all smushed
together.  Of course, then Id feel the strong urge to kick myself in the
ass for not seeing it years ago.

We made love for the first time on Halloween night.  The next morning,
Willow told me that she has dreamt of being my girlfriend since
kindergarten which freaked me a little, since we were in the middle of her
sliding herself onto my morning hard-on.  I mean, scary mental image at
that moment.  Still, even though she tells me to get over it, I still feel
guilty about itshe loved me for, like, ever; but I didnt figure it out
till our junior year in high school.

Even then, it took black magic so powerful that it turned half of
Sunnydale into their Halloween costumes before I figured it out.  I had to
forget everything I ever knew...become someone else entirely before I
could see Willow for the amazing, beautiful, sexy woman she is.

And she so is!

As I lied there looking at her...God, I almost couldnt breathe, she was
so beautiful!  She looked so sweet and innocent right at that
second...its hard to believe that just a few hours ago she was screaming
my name while she pounded herself down on me till I thought Id just
explode.

Ever since that first time we had sex every night and every morning that
we were together.  Did I win the girlfriend lottery or what?

She was still Willow though, I mean she still cant even say the word
sex without blushing.  Despite the fact that we have more sex than I
ever thought possibleand she starts it as much as I doshes still that
sweet, shy, Willowy girl that Ive been best friends with forever.

God I love her so much!

And then I had to roll over and stare at the ceiling again or I was going
to start crying, and we all know that manly men dont cry...

So, clearly I was the luckiest guy in existence, I had the best girlfriend
that ever lived, so why was I lying there wide awake at...it was then two
ten in the morning?

Less than a week till Christmas and I still hadnt found the right gift
for Willow.

Okay, so, it wasnt like another apocalypse or anything, but it was
important to me.  I lucked out with Hanukkah, 'cause Giles hooked me up
with an almost perfect gift, err gifts I mean.  I had to slave away as his
library assistant for, like, a whole week, but it was totally worth it. 
Being into books and stuff, he found me a boxed hardback set of The
Chronicles of Narnia, signed by the author; C.S. Lewis.

I was never big on the whole reading is entertainment thing, but Willow
was, and she loved those books.  So, I was totally the hero for the eight
nights of HanukkahI gave her the box on the first night, cause, you know;
only seven books in the series.  But, it was cool 'cause it was like this
really fancy leather with engraving and stuff, but it didnt say what was
supposed to go in it, so the second night was a total surprise when I gave
her the first book.  The smile on her face when she unwrapped it...it was
the kind of smile that makes you promise yourself that youll do
everything you can to make her smile like that as often as possible.  When
she saw the authors signature though...I get choked up just thinking
about it.  My Willow can light up, like, a whole city block with one of
those smiles.

By the eighth night I was hooked.  I want to make her smile like that as
often as possible.  It was totally addictiveplus, the sex!  I mean, it
was always great, but those nights she was so incredibly amazing!  Shed
found this website, and it had all kinds of instructions to teach you how
to do different stuff sexually, and shed been practicing the oral stuff
on me and she was really getting good.  I mean, Id never been with anyone
else but her, so not a lot of comparison there, but I knew it was way
different than the first few times; and I thought those were pretty
awesome at the time.

Id been reading stuff on the website toothere was a column on oral sex
written by this lesbian couple and wow!  It made sense, though.  Who would
know better?

Funny how much I didnt want to take that idea to the other side of the
equation.

Anyway, it worked, or at least Willow seemed to really, really appreciate it.

Willow told me I didnt have to get her a Christmas present.  She said it
wasnt a big deal seeing how she was Jewish and all, and Id already got
her Hanukkah presents anyway.  Well, it was a big deal to me.

I dont have any good Christmas memories, mostly 'cause my family was a
bunch of drunk losers who spent the holidays yelling and screaming. 
Still, Id always dreamed of how Christmas should be...and I wanted that. 
I wanted to catch Will under the mistletoe and kiss her breathless, I
wanted nog, and a tree and presents and stuff.  Most of all, I wanted to
spend Christmas with people I actually cared about.  Since Buffys mom
invited Willow and me to spend Christmas at Casa del Summers, I figured I
was actually going to have a chance to have that dream come true.

The only thing still missing was the part where I got to give Willow the
perfect gift.  I wanted to see that smile, the one that lights up the
night and makes me feel like a superhero 'cause Im the one that put it on
her face.

The next day was Saturday.  Christmas Eve was going to be Thursday, so
that meant I had six days to find it.

========== BtVS ==========

No, no; its upside down, now theyll have to stand on their heads!

I woke up to another one of Willows strange dreams.  Its not every day,
but a lot of mornings happen like that; Willow in the throes of some kind
of weird, surreal dream, and talking out loud.  Normally Im a pretty
heavy sleeper, but when shes all cuddled up on my chest, talking right in
my ear it wakes me up every time.

Actually, its kind of cute, even though she thinks its embarrassing.  To
me its just one more thing about Willow thats completely adorable. 
Shes so smart and her brains always working, even when shes asleep.

Shh, its okay Willow...just a dream baby. I whispered to her while
running my fingers through her hair.  I love her hair; its so soft and
silky.

She twitched and clutched at me for a second which let me know she was
waking up.  She always seems a little surprised when she goes from asleep
to awake, like for a second shes not sure which is the dream, and which
is reality.

Hey sleepy head, I said when she blinked her eyes open and looked up at
me.  She rubbed her eyes for a second and then blinked again and I could
see her sort of fully wake up.

Mmm, good morning, she said in a sleepy voice.

Jeeze, that smile!  I swear I was turning into the sappiest guy in the
world.  If any other guys ever found out theyd probably revoke my guy
status entirely!  That smile just melts me into this puddle of,
well...sap, I guess.  Im not much of a poet.

Hows the most beautiful girl in the world this morning? I asked, hiding
the seriousness of that statement behind my normal joke-guy smile.

Mmm, dunno, she answered as she stretched.  Ill ask her if I ever meet
her.

Well, theres a mirror in the bathroom, so youll see her pretty soon, I
gave my typical reply.

Yes, were totally mushy, but I dont care.  I felt like I should be in a
romance novelthats how totally head-over-heels I am for this girl. 
Plus, the smile she gives me when I say stuff like that is totally worth
my complete loss of any macho-guy credibility.

She moved up to kiss me just like I knew she would.  Its funny how
morning breath becomes a non-issue if it means going without
Willow-smoochies.

Kissing Willow is such an amazing thing.  I never really kissed a girl
before Willow, other than a peck on the lips kind of thing.  It seems
kinda weird to think that rubbing lips and tongues would be so great, but
it is.  We sometimes get into making out and, like, time just flies
byweve been late to school twice because we got into the kissing and
lost all concept of time.  Twice may not seem like that bad, but for Will,
being late for school, or missing school is worse than almost anything. 
The thought of getting detention scares her more than fighting vampires. 
Ive actually gotten suspicious looks from my first period teacher 'cause
I was on time to class so often lately.

We were both breathing hard when we finally stopped kissing.  Then, Willow
looked down at me with this excited, hopeful look on her face and she
asked, You wanna...you know?

I couldnt help but laugh.  Will, seriously, do you think Ill ever say
no to that question?

She pouted a little and said, Well, I was raised to be polite, and its
polite to ask before you...

She blushed.  I so love this girl.

Before you ravish someone? I teased, just because I wanted to see her
blush even harder.  And, of course, she did.  Baby, you have my
permission to ravish away!

Xander! she protested, slapping my chest lightly.

I managed to get rid of that annoyed look on her face just by covering her
left breast with the palm of my hand.  She closed her eyes and hummed; one
of the many noises she makes during sex that just drives me wild.  I love
how she is so shy about stuffespecially in publicbut when were making
love, well...I never have to wonder how Im making her feel.

She says shes extremely vocal.  I just say shes a screamer.

Its a good thing her parents are gone, like, ninety-five percent of the
time, cause we could never have sneaky, parents-in-the-house sex.

How, exactly, would you like to be ravished this morning? I asked her,
trying for a deep sexy voice.

Oh my God!  That look in her eyes...if I wasnt already hard, I would have
been in a heartbeat when she looked at me like that.

Like this, she said, rolling onto her back, tugging on my shoulder to
have me roll on top of her.

Yep, Willows a missionary girl.  We do other stuff too, but she really
seems to like me on top, with lots of kissing and eye contact, and hey;
theres no bad there!

I let her pull me, moving myself so I was between her legs, supporting
myself on one elbow while I lined up to sink myself inside.  I pushed up
against her and she was so wet, just from us kissing!  I think were
matched really well; just her kissing me gets me very ready, and somehow
I have the same effect on her.

Every time were about to make love, theres this moment right before I
slide in where time seems to stand still, like the two of us are the only
people on the whole planet.  I looked into Willows eyes and saw so much
love there that I had trouble breathing for a second.

Willow, I love you so much, I whispered.

Oh Xander!  I love you too!  I want you inside me so badly!

I could feel my whole body buzzing with this intense...happy anticipation
is the closest I can come to describing it.  Thats what Willow called it
when I described it to her.  She said she felt the same way.  She said
that the other stuff we do is fun and exciting and sexy, but that
thisbeing face to face and joining togetherwas something more special
than that.

As I pushed inside her, I knew she was right; it was more special than
anythingit was too perfect for words.  Moving inside this perfect girl, I
remembered once again how incredibly lucky I was.  I dont know if I will
ever stop kicking myself for being blind for so long.  Staring into her
eyes, I cant believe I ever looked at this girl and didnt see the
beauty, the pure sexy goodness that is Willow Rosenberg.

I leaned in and kissed my girlfriend, trying to put all my apologies and
my commitment to make up for everything into the kiss.  I just kept
thinking how much I love her over and over as I devoured her mouth.  Not
that she just lied there, or anything.  No, my Willow is not a passive
kisser, and she did plenty of devouring herself.

Nugh!  Harder! she grunted out, breaking off the kiss at last.  Please
Xander?  I need more!

Like I could ever deny her.  Begging just turned me on even more and I
started slamming myself into her, like I wanted to drive her through the
bed or something.  She gave as good as she got, wrapping her legs around
my lower back and pulling herself onto me in a matching rhythm.

I knew she was close when she started making this high-pitched sound each
time our bodies crashed together.  It was somewhere between a grunt and a
cry, and it took all I had in me not to speed up when I heard it.  It
sounded so damn sexy, and I knew I was pretty close myself.  However, Ive
learned that if I can maintain this pace, its just slow enough that I can
keep from cumming for a long time, but its enough to get her off.  So, as
long as I can keep some self control, I can always be sure my girl gets to
cum first.

Suddenly, she started wailing my name, drawing it out, Xaaaaannnnnderrrr!

Oh God! I groaned, franticly trying to keep it together.

See, even though Ive learned this fabulous key to getting Willow off,
its really, really hard to use it.  She starts with that wailing and its
like I can feel it shoot straight to my dick.  Then she starts scratching
her nails across my back, and I cant tell you how much that excites me. 
Who knew?  I dont know if its the pain, or just that shes losing
control, but it freaking sets me off!  Thank God she only does it when
shes about to cum.

And then she started screaming, and I could feel her clenching me inside
her so tight...that was the end of any kind of rhythm.  I started shouting
her name as I pumped so fast...I dont think she was even done before I
was pouring into her.  Im not sure, 'cause my brain was pretty much being
blasted out of my body through my cock at that moment.  I know I collapsed
onto her, and then rolled us over so I didnt crush her, and then there
were these sloppy, panting kisses as we came back down.

All in all it was like a wonderful routine.  Weve learned each others
bodies pretty well; even though its been just around six weeks, weve
done this like thirty times or so.  I suppose it might get boring someday,
if it was all we ever did...like in twenty or thirty years or so.

Nah, I dont think I could ever get bored of making love to Willow like that.

Xander?

Yeah Will?

Do you ever think that we...do it too much? she asked, taking a deep
breath as she recovered from her release.

Too much?  At first I just laughed, Willow Im a seventeen year old
guy.  There is no such thing as too much sex...I dont think its
possible.

What do you mean, its not possible? she asked, sounding startled.

Thats my Willowvery literal gal.

Baby, theres only twenty four hours in a daythats not enough time to
make love too much... I tried to explain my theory.

The look on her face was one of confusion.

Wed have to make love for at least forty or fifty hours straight each
day before it would be too much.  Theres just not that many hours in the
day!

That got me a smile.  Suddenly though, I realized that maybe she wasnt
thinking the same way...uh oh.  Then I was worried.

Uh, Will?  Do you think we do it too much?

She definitely heard the worry in my voice, or saw the fear on my face, or
both, 'cause she started shaking her head really fast.  No!  No, not too
much...I mean we do it all the time, but not *all* the time, it just, I
hear other girls talking about their boyfriends, and either they dont do
it at all, or they just do it every once in a while, but not very often,
in fact I kinda get the impression that a lot of the girls, most really,
dont like to do it at all, and they especially dont like to use their
mouths, though its strange that I havent heard any of them talking about
their boyfriends using their mouths...

Babbling Willow, cute as it is, usually means nervous or worried Willow,
and thats a bad thing.

Will! I interrupted, putting my finger on her lips.  Baby, you gotta
remember to breathe every once in a while, or youll get all light headed,
okay?

Oh, okay, she said, taking a deep breath.  Sorry.

She blushed, which I really think is sexy on her.  Of course, Im biased;
I think everything is sexy on her.

Willow, I whispered, stroking her back up and down 'cause I know she
likes it a lot, and it usually calms her down.  Whats wrong, whats got
you all worried all of a sudden?

She hugged me really tight and her voice was a kind of high-pitched,
little-girl voice.  I always want you so much Xander.  I worry
sometimes...that maybe Im...Im too needy, or something.

She took a deep breath, and my heart clenched tight because I could hear
the shuddering sound that meant she was on the verge of crying.

I mean, I...I get antsy when I cant be with you, she whispered
embarrassedly, as though it was a dirty little secret.  Like those nights
when mom and dad were home?  I didnt feel right...I didnt sleep very
well, and I thought I was gonna go nuts 'cause I wanted you so badly.

I remembered.  I was pretty worked up too by the time they were finally
ready to leave. Willow jumped me right on the living room floor two
seconds after her mom and dad walked out the front door; I didnt worry
for even a heartbeat that they could come back in the house and catch
us...I just had to have her.  I needed her just as badly as she needed me.

You think its just you? I asked softly, trying to reassure her.  Do
you remember when you staked that vamp in the back the other night?

Yeah... she said with a confused frown, like I was changing the subject.

I had to put my hands in my pockets and squeeze my eyes shut for a minute
there, cause I was so wanting to drag you behind the Puertaverde mausoleum
and make love to you right there in the cemetery! I said, feeling tears
in my own eyes.  I seriously think that if Giles and Buffy werent there
I might have done it.

Really? she asked in this excited voice, like Id just complimented her
shoes or something, not like Id just said I wanted to have sex with her
in a graveyard.

I shook my head, Dont you get it yet Willow?  I need you at least as bad
as you need me!

I do too.  Sometimes I have this nightmare sometimes where she realizes
that shes a brilliant, beautiful woman who has hitched herself to a total
slacker-loser, and then she dumps me like yesterdays news.  I wake up in
a cold sweat and I get so freaked out that I cant go back to sleep.  I
have to just lie there and stare at her until I can convince myself that
it was only a dream.  Thank God I didnt had that dream on the couple
nights weve slept apart...I dont know what I would have done if I had
woken up and she wasnt there.

Yeah, Ive got issues; tell me something I dont already know.

You know, maybe those girls you hear talking like they dont like it,
maybe its because the guys arent doing their jobs, you know?  I said as
I stared into those beautiful hazel eyes.

What do you mean? she asked with that cute little scrunchy look her nose
gets when shes confused.

Well, you know, I hear guys brag about nailing this chick or scoring
with that chick, but I never hear any of them talking about how the girl
felt.  I cant help but stroke Willows face as I say the last part.

I saw that she still wasnt getting it.  Shes just not a selfish person,
or at least not very selfish anyway.  Always thinking about how other
people feel.

God, I love you Willow. I said with a laugh.  Look, if I was gonna brag
about you and me having sex, I wouldnt talk about how many times I
nailed you...

Youd better not! Willow said with a look of annoyance on her face.  It
pretty quickly turned into a smile though.  So, hypothetically speaking,
if you were gonna brag, what would you say?

Then she licked her lips.

I dont know if she does it on purpose, but seeing her lick those sexy
pink lips always makes me want to lick them too.  So, I did.

By the time we broke the kiss, I was ready again.  Yeah, I know...it
doesnt take much.

Hmm, what was the question? I asked, my mind focused once again, as
usual, less on talking and more on doing.

What would you say, if you were going to brag? Willow asked in a breathy
whisper.

Oh yeah, bragging.

Well... I said, moving my hand down Wills back until I was squeezing
one taught little ass-cheek.  Hypothetically?

She gasped just a little as I squeezed, and panted, Yeah, hypothetically...

Hmm, I would say...  I gave her ass another quick squeeze and then
reached down, sliding my finger between her thighs and stroking that warm,
slippery skin.  ...that Im so good, I can make my lover scream my name
loud enough to wake the neighbors.

Xander! she squealed.

I slid my middle finger inside her, distracting her from being too annoyed.

Oohh...that only happened...unh!  That only, mmm...happened 'cause
yunh...you left the w-w-window...open!

Oh how I love distracting Willow!

She gave up on chastising me and decided to kiss me instead.  Now, thats
a plan I can fully support!

When we broke the kiss this time she was cross-eyed and panting hard. 
Those guys are idiots for bragging about getting laid.  Have they ever
made their girlfriend go cross-eyed and panting?  I doubt it!

Ungh!  Wanna...unh...make me sc-ream agai...again? she gasped out. 
Pretty much one of the sexiest questions Ive ever heard!

Hmm, maybe we do do it too much.

Nah!

========== BtVS ==========

I spent about an hour that morning trying to come up with some elaborate
story that would get me away from Willow long enough to try and do some
shopping for her Christmas present.  Every time I came up with something,
I got this horrible feeling that she would see through it and realize I
was lying to her and it would be this whole big thing.  So, Id try to
come up with something better, something she wouldnt see through.

Im pretty stupid sometimes.

I finally figured it out when I was telling myself that even if she did
figure it out, shed forgive me when I told her why Id lied...then it
struck me.  Hey, why not just tell her the truth?

I just asked her if I could borrow Buffy for the morning so I could get
some help finding the perfect gift for her.  Its not as if I have any guy
friends, and if I did, I dont think they could help me find the perfect
gift for Willow.  Aside from reassuring me again that I didnt need to get
her a Christmas present, she didnt put up any fuss at all.  Oh, she did
say that I had to let her have Buffy for the afternoon to shop for my
present.  Of course, I immediately had visions of Victorias Secret
filling my head.  Fortunatelyand frankly, surprisinglyI managed to keep
from making any comments that would get me in trouble.

Just on general principles, she smacked me on the arm and told me to stop
thinking dirty thoughts.

Does she know me or what?

I dont think shed ever threaten me with withholding sex...she seems to
need it as bad as I do.  Still, I nevereverwant to find out.  Im so
totally whipped.  Any guy that says he isnt, is either not getting any,
or hes completely retarded.  Not only do I happily bow before my
girlfriend, I gladly put my mouth to good work while Im there!

Buffy was cool with helping, other than complaining about having to spend
a whole day shopping...mmhm, Willow and I were both like, Shyeah, right!

So there I was waiting for Lady Buffy to answer the door.

Xander, hello, Mrs. Summers said as she opened the door.  Suddenly she
got a confused look on her face and looked around the porch.  Wheres
Willow? she asked.

Um, hi.  Willows not here.  Shes at home... I answered.

A worried frown overtook Mrs. Summers lips and she asked, Is she okay? 
Is she sick?  Whats wrong?

Um, no shes fine...nothings wrong... I slowly said.  Buffys mom was
kinda freaking me out all of a sudden.

She reacted like Id said something else entirelyexactly what, I have no
clue.  She looked at me suspiciously for a second and then stepped back
into the house, waving me in.  Youre sure shes okay, the two of you are
okay? she asked.

Um, yeah, Wills great, Im great, were just great... I said, still
freaking a little.

Buffy came clattering down the stairs the way she always does.  I dont
remember ever seeing her just slowly come down the stairs, except if she
was really depressed or something.

Hey Xan, she chirped.

Hey Buff, I said back, still keeping Mrs. Summers in my line of sight.

Whoa! Buffy said, sounding surprised.  Its XanandWill, but no Will.

I know, Mrs. Summers agreed.  I wasnt sure they could actually walk
without leaning on each other for support, or at least holding hands to
make sure they dont fall down.

I could feel myself blushing as I looked between the two Summers ladies. 
Buffy was trying, but failing to hide a smirk.  Her mom was completely
deadpan.  I glared at them both and grumbled, Ha ha, very funny. 
Seriously, you two should leave the humor to professionals.

Buffy laughed out loud, and Mrs. Summers finally smiled.  Oh please, Xan.
We so got you! Buffy crowed.

Yeah, well...you need more work, I saw the smirk, I taunted back.  Your
mom, however, totally sold it.  I probably would never have figured it out
if it wasnt for you.

Now her mom was smirking.  See Buff, when youre a pro, you can turn these
momentary failures around just like that.

Hey! she called with a pout.  Did you want my help or not?

Ah, resorting to threats, the last recourse of the incompetent.  However,
if I said that out loud, threats might give way to actual violence, and
hey!  Call me the cowardly lion, but Im seriously not in the mood for
Slayer related violence to be directed my way right now.  Or ever, for
that matter.

All right Alan Funt, lets go do some damage to my frail finances!

========== BtVS ==========
TBC...






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Willow: "It's a good fight, Buffy, and I want in."
Buffy:  "I kinda love you."
                     'Choices'

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