Love is a Gift (5/6) W/X NC17

Title: Love is a Gift

Author: The Bear!

Spoilers: None of note

Pairing: X/W

Summary: Sequel to ‘All Saints Day’

Warnings: NC17 (Lots of sex, like that’s a surprise.)

Disclaimer: If I owned ‘em, they’d have to show it on the Ecstasy Network.

Author’s Note: Ok, here it is as promised—My Christmas present to you all! This little Christmas treat is 99.9% angst-free, stuffed with fluff, coated in syrupy sweetness, and chock-full of sexy goodness!

========== BtVS ==========

Part 5

Christmas Eve was everything I’d dreamed about. We sat around watching cheesy Christmas specials on TV, laughing and joking about stuff, drinking egg-nog and stuffing ourselves silly on cheese and sausage and all kinds of snack-stuff.

Mrs. Summers was everything Will and I never had in a mom...just full of caring and hugs and being happy for her daughter...even when she told us embarrassing stories about Buffy as a kid. Buff groaned and acted all embarrassed and stuff, but I could see that she was eating it up, too—the attention and the being in the spotlight, so to speak.

As it got close to eleven, I could see Buffy’s mom trying to hide her yawns. She wasn’t used to being up late like we were, what with all-night patrols and stuff. When she finally said goodnight and said she was going to go to bed, Willow and I both told her how great it was that she has us over and I could see a tear in her eye. I could tell it was happy-tears, but I didn’t understand why she’d get that emotional over that.

“Hey Buff, what’s with your mom?” I asked softly once it was just the three of us.

“We didn’t make her upset did we?” Willow added.

“Nah, just mom being mom,” Buffy said dismissively.

“Huh?” Will and I both said at the same time. “You’re gonna have to translate for those of us who don’t have ‘Mom’ type maternal-units,” I added.

“Oh, you know,” Buffy said despite the fact that we clearly didn’t. “She gets emotional and stuff whenever she gets to play mom to you two, 'cause you guys are always complimenting her and stuff. I think she just likes doing for more than just me.”

Willow and I looked at each other and I could see that she was just as confused as me.

“It’s just a mom-thing, you know?” Buffy concluded with a shrug of the shoulders.

“Huh, so that’s how moms are supposed to act?” I asked rhetorically.

“Like they appreciate, or even maybe like their kids?” Willow said with a look of understanding dawning on her face.

“A parent who likes children...wow, what a concept,” I said with just a bit of bitterness leaking out.

Willow snuggled up to me at that moment, completely deflating my anger.

“Sorry,” I whispered, kissing the top of her hair. “You know, you’re lucky to have such a great mom,” I said as I turned my gaze back to Buffy.

“Totally!” Willow gushed in agreement.

“Yeah, well,” Buffy dropped her gaze to the floor. “We’ve had our moments...but yeah, she’s good.”

It was funny; I was sitting there feeling a little jealous of Buffy for having such a great mom and not really seeing that fact—when I’m pretty sure I caught the same look in her eyes just before she dropped them...and I’m not thinking it was because of my mom.

Damn.

“Hey, I gotta use the restroom,” I whispered to Willow as I pulled away and stood up.

“Okay,” she said reluctantly, looking at me with that adorable pout on her face.”

“Won’t be long,” I whispered back, resisting my urge to kiss that pout away.

As I walked away thoughts of Buffy moved back to the forefront. Will was definitely right about her being down...despite the fun we’d had that evening, I could see and even feel the sense of loneliness coming from her.

I might not have been crushing on her anymore, but I still loved her and hated to see her suffer. I wondered if I was being selfish...I mean, she’s the Slayer; the reason we’re even alive and not either Vamped, or vamp-chow a hundred times over. I’m her friend, and I’m supposed to be one of the ones that helps her fight the good fight...did I really have the right to let my jealousy keep her from any happiness she could have with Willow? It’s not like I’d lose Willow...just share her. Of course, I really would like to actually see them in action, so how much of my concern is really just my inner-pervert talking?

Man! What a weird situation to be in.

========== BtVS ==========

Using the restroom took half a minute. Staring at my reflection in the mirror and trying to figure out the tangled knot that was my thoughts and motivations...that took longer.

Despite my reassurance to Willow that I’d be back quickly, it wasn’t to be. I felt a deep-seated need to figure out at least my own stand on this issue before going back out there. I was trying to figure out the difference between what I wanted and what I thought was the right thing to do—then there was Willow to think about, and obviously what Buffy wanted came in to play as well.

I wanted Willow to myself. Not that I had bad feelings from the thought of Willow-Buffy smoochies, in fact it was a very attractive image...but as I told Will, I think I’d be jealous of them being together if I couldn’t be a part of it. Even the thought of being able to watch—which I’m sure wouldn’t happen anyway—wasn’t enough to really make me feel better about giving up part of my time with the woman I’d finally come to love with all my heart.

On the other hand, I love Buffy too—not like I do Willow, but still, she’s more than just a friend. Once upon a time I’d wanted Buffy the way I have Willow. Ignoring the lusty-thoughts I used to have—and still feel on occasion—for the Slayer, I also felt like I owed her a pretty big debt. She’s saved my life several times over, not to mention Willow’s life. Beyond that, there’s the whole ‘thanks for keeping the world from being taken over by vamps and demons’ debt that everyone on the planet owed her—only most would never know it. I knew it, and I felt it every time I remembered the way she sacrificed herself to try and prevent the Master from rising. Then when it turned out that prophecy had screwed her over she went on to kill that bastard anyway. The fact that I was fortunate enough to have helped out a bit in between the two events didn’t really make the debt any smaller, at least not in my mind.

All of that is a longwinded way of saying that—despite my selfish desire to keep Willow all to myself—I realized that sharing the love of my life with my friend and savior is really a very small burden compared to the debt I owe her. Heck, I’d freely give my life for Buffy—how could I deny her my love, or my lover?

Obviously, Willow isn’t a commodity to be bartered about, and I’d never think of her as something that was mine to give to Buffy, except that Willow didn’t seem to be against the idea.

Wow, The thought hit me that I was seriously standing there considering the idea of sharing my girlfriend with my best friend...who’s also a girl—does that make me a thoughtful, sensitive guy, or a sexist pig?

I wondered how Willow’d react if the situation was reversed? For myself, I don’t think I could do it—not because the thought of being with Buffy and Willow, even separately, is a bad one; but I just don’t think I could do that to Willow. She’d have to convince me that it wouldn’t come between us. I guess that means I will have to convince her that her being with Buffy won’t come between the two of us.

Can I really say that and mean it?

I guess, in the end, it comes down to my ability to trust my Willow—that she won’t leave me—and then deal with the jealousy as it comes.

Man, not for the first time I thought how weird this situation was. Only on the Hellmouth, I guess.

========== BtVS ==========

When I walked back into the living room, Willow and Buffy were sitting on the floor, Indian style, with their knees touching. They were leaned toward each other, talking in low voices so I couldn’t make out what they were saying. The sight of them though, mmm! Whether we really do this amazingly strange little sharing thing or not, the images of the two of them together were going to be giving me happy thoughts for a long, long time.

“Hey you two,” I interjected softly, not wanting to startle them. “What’s the up?”

They jerked apart slightly—Buffy with a slightly guilty look on her face, but Willow looked almost giddy with excitement.

“Well,” Buffy said, sounding a little nervous for some reason, “I’m gonna go do a quick patrol.”

“Want company?” I offered with a shrug.

“Nah, just gonna hit Restfield real quick and then come back and crash.” She said, sounding a bit more nonchalant.

“Crash?” I asked, surprised. “But it’s only...oh,” I trailed off as I looked up at the clock. I guess I was in the bathroom longer than I thought.

“Yeah, we should try to get a few hours if we’re gonna be up early to open prezzies!” Buffy’s outward demeanor changed from slightly down, to almost childlike excitement at the mention of presents in the morning.

“Ugh, early morning wakeup on a vacation day? That’s just wrong,” I complained half-heartedly.

“Yeah, well Mom’s going to a Christmas party at my Aunt’s in San Bernardino, and she’s gotta leave by 10,” Buffy trailed off apologetically. “But hey, for prezzies, it’ll be worth it!” she added, smile firmly back in place.

I couldn’t help but smile myself in response, and Willow was still grinning madly from whatever discussion they’d had. I couldn’t wait to hear about it.

“Ok, have fun slaying!” my redheaded lover said happily as she bounced to her feet. She immediately pressed against me, my arms wrapping around her tightly.

“Mom’s a pretty heavy sleeper, but try not to wake her up, ‘k?” Buffy tossed back over her shoulder as she left the room.

“Hey!” Willow objected with a pout.

I smiled at that. “She does have a point, you know,” I said softly.

Mmm, Willow-blush.

“Well, I’ll just use a pillow,” she trailed off, blushing even harder.

Oh boy, visions of Willow on her knees face down against a pillow as she screamed my name...suddenly my curiosity regarding their conversation had taken a back seat to more important things.

“Come on!” her voice shook me out of my momentary stupor. “I’ve got really great news to tell you, after,” she left off, not needing to explain to me what we were gonna do first.

I followed her up the stairs, muttering, “Time to test out that pillow!”

========== BtVS ==========

It turned out the pillow worked pretty well. I managed to make her cum twice before I grunted out my own orgasm through clenched teeth and fell forward pulling us onto our sides in a spoon position.

“Love you so much!” she whimpered, panting hard to catch her breath.

“Me too, you,” I huffed, holding her tight to me and kissing her sweat-dampened neck as I enjoyed our mutual afterglow.

I spent the next several minutes lying there very happy as the sweet scent of her hair filled my nostrils with every deep breath I took.

“So, pillow worked ok?” she asked once she’d caught her breath. I could hear the smile in her voice as she spoke.

“Oh yeah...I think we’ll be ok next time we have to deal with your parents being home overnight,” I answered. Good thing! Last time had nearly killed us—going without.

She pulled away enough to roll over and face me and I could feel my heart beat a little faster at the joyful smile on her face. “Oh that’s good!” she said intently. “I hated it last time!”

“Me too,” I agreed.

“So, you’ll never believe what me and Buffy were talking about!” she transitioned, growing even more excited.

“Something good, I’m thinking,” I said sardonically.

“Very, very!” she gushed.

“But, Buffy didn’t look all that happy,” I interjected. “In fact, she looked kinda...guilty almost?” I added, remembering the look on her face.

“That’s ‘cause she doesn’t know it’s good yet,” Willow answered.

“Huh?” I asked ever so intelligently.

“When you left, I asked her what the deal was with her and Angel,” she began.

“Whoa, direct confrontation, huh? Go Willow!” I interjected.

“She said she decided she didn’t want to be with him, but she didn’t want to say why at first, but eventually she admitted that she’d realized he was completely the wrong guy for her,” she explained.

“Hallelujah!” I exclaimed. “Finally!”

“Yeah, but that’s not even the good part yet!” she corrected. “When I asked why she thought that, she said it was because she’d figured out what she really wanted, and Angel could never give it to her.”

“Yeah, you,” I said with a soft smile.

“Unh uh,” she shook her head, smiling widely.

“Whaddya mean?” I said with a frown. “She’s totally into you, we’ve both seen it!”

“Oh, I think you’re right, she wants me, but that’s not what she told me,” she explained.

“And again with the huh?” I muttered, confused.

“She told me she realized that she screwed up big time last year,” she said, still grinning madly.

“What, when she kissed Deadboy?” I asked, still lost.

“No, when she turned you down,” she said.

I’m pretty sure my mouth opened and closed a couple times, but nothing came out. Probably for the best because I had nothing better than ‘Huh?’ to say at that point.

Willow laughed aloud at my stunned silence. She went on to explain, “She was totally apologetic and stuff; said she didn’t mean that she was gonna try to take you away, or that she even could if she wanted to cause she knew you were totally into me.”

“She’s right,” I interjected with a warm smile, cupping her beautiful face with my hand.

“I know,” Willow replied with certainty. “I can’t tell you how much that means to me, it’s everything!” she went on, dropping the Buffy topic for a moment.

I thought, ‘Dear God, how I love this girl!’

Well, there was nothing to do but make with the smoochies for several minutes at that point.

“Where were we?” she asked me with the most delightful look of cross-eyed bliss on her face.

“Um...something about Buffy not trying to take me away from you, I think,” I said, feeling a little blissful myself.

“Right, right...she...oh, when you went shopping Saturday!” she blurted.

“At the risk of sounding repetitious, huh?” I said.

“Oh, that’s when she realized she’s screwed up,” she explained.

“Uh, okay,” I said, not sure what to think of that.

“She told me that she saw for the first time just how in-love you were with me, how you had, like, totally put me first in your life. She said she realized that that could have been her if she had just said yes...if she had chosen you over a walking corpse.”

“Wow,” I exhaled heavily.

“I know!” Willow agreed. “She said that, even though it was too late for her to have that kind of thing from you, she wasn’t going to settle for something less and Angel could never give her the kind of love you give me.”

“That’s...wow,” I said, still in shock. “But, is this a good thing?”

“Xander, we talked about, you know...and you kinda said you wouldn’t be totally comfortable...um...sharing me, not if you couldn’t...but now maybe you could too, both of us?”

That brought a smile to my face. Only Willow could be so adorably cute while propositioning someone regarding a threesome.

“I was thinking about what we’d talked about,” I started. “I take it you’re definitely interested in trying to have a relationship with Buffy?”

“If, if it’s a choice between you two, it would be you Xander,” she said. I couldn’t tell for sure if she was trying to reassure me, of if it was just a statement of fact, but I felt a warm fuzzy either way.

“And if it isn’t a choice between us?” I prompted with a encouraging smile.

“I’m not sure when or, or how it happened for sure,” she started. “When we were shopping Saturday...I saw her looking at me like that—like she wanted to eat me up right there in the dressing room...it’s like something woke up inside me!”

I nodded and just kept smiling, wanting to encourage her to continue.

“I was kinda scared, definitely confused...but there was something in me that was sad when she backed off,” she said in a whisper. “Maybe, maybe I’ve always wanted her, and I was just afraid to admit it even to myself...it’s like it doesn’t feel new, you know?”

I nodded again, even though I wasn’t sure I really understood. I’d get there eventually.

“Like the feeling has always been there but I didn’t understand it, or I didn’t want to understand it until that moment...and then I did understand it,” she said with a joyful smile. “I love Buffy; she’s the most important person in my life right after you.”

This time I nodded because I knew exactly what she meant.

“Plus, she’s like this uber-important hero type person, you know, protector of us—all of us humans against the bad guys that want to kill us all!” she went on, eerily echoing my thoughts earlier. “And, I want to do anything I can to be there for her—like I owe her, except it’s not like she asked for it, it’s just what I need to do for her. So if she needs a friend, I’m there, and if she needs...more than a friend...well I want to be there for her for that too.”

She looked into my eyes as though searching for any disapproval I might feel.

My thoughts from earlier came forth without conscious effort, “How could I deny her my love, or my lover?”

“I was thinking...while you and Buffy were talking, I was trying to figure out how I felt about stuff,” I began, trying to organize my thoughts in some coherent way—not succeeding much. “I made a decision, kind of like you just said—I owe Buffy everything, including my life and yours. Even if I might have to deal with a little jealousy, how could I not let you be there for her if it’s what you both wanted?”

“You love her, don’t you?” she asked.

I never thought I’d hear the question from Willow without pain, let alone with such joy in her voice.

“Yes,” I answered. “I love Buffy, almost as much as I love you.”

“So, how do we seduce her?” Willow asked in the most shockingly innocent and bubbly voice that that question has probably ever been asked.

I gave the subject serious thought...and realized I had no idea—what the hell did I know about seduction?

“Oh, there’s mistletoe,” Willow suddenly blurted out. “Maybe...maybe after her mom leaves for that party we could, you know, catch her under the mistletoe?”

“Smart chicks are so hot!” I responded.

Between the hotness that is Willow, and thinking of the two of us seducing Buffy, I was definitely up for another round!

“Mrs. Summers is gonna wonder why there’s bite marks on this pillowcase,” Willow muttered, blushing mightily even as she moved to get up on her knees.

Forget how lucky I’ll be if we get Buffy, I’m already the luckiest guy on the planet!

========== BtVS ==========

TBC...

TheBear!

thebear@xxxxxxxxxxxxx

http://papa-bear.com