FF I'll Remember You

["slayer1252001" <slayer1252001@xxxxxxxxx>]

I'll Remember You
	Slayer125 (slayer1252001@xxxxxxxxx)
Also can be found at http://www.geocities.com/slayer1252004/fics.html
         Dealing with the loss and pain of separation. Song by 
Sophie Zelmani
	


	Her lips are burning my skin with its heat. I fight the 
tears burning my eyes as I absorb the touches that are heaven and 
hell. I am so tired of hearing it's wrong. Then I choke on a sob as 
her tongue teases my nipple. I lie; I want to hear it's wrong at 
least for the next twenty years because at least she would be with 
me.

	Wrapping my fingers in her hair I tug gently, forcing those 
eyes that I could get lost in, to meet mine. I feel an ache as I see 
the unshed tears in her eyes as well.

	"Please&" A broken voice, I know not if it is hers or mine.

	Wrapping legs around her hips I raise myself up and push my 
clit against hers. If I focus on this, I will be ok. Her breathing 
is heavy and tendrils of her hair are damp with perspiration. I 
smile a little as I remember her saying girls don't sweat, my 
response was she would by the time I was done with her. Her finger 
trembles as it runs down my cheekbone. 

	"Don't." Ok that was my voice; the least I can do is be 
strong for her. Make this decision that has torn her apart a little 
easier. I could be a bitch, I mean I have a lot of practice at it 
but she does not deserve that.

	"I am so sorry." Her voice sounds so sad if I had anything 
left of my shattered heart, it was swept away like ashes in the wind.

	"Shhhhhh&" I kiss her lips and the light touch quickly turns 
into a deep melding. Her tongue dances against mine and I feel her 
teeth graze my lip. I grab her neck pulling her deeper inside of me, 
tilting our faces so I get full access. She whimpers and it is so 
sweet. Our breathing is one as I start to move against her. Nipples 
are touching against each other. Faster and faster she moves against 
me seeking to find the release only I can give. I feel her dampness 
as our bodies rub and then I move back and position her right above 
me. Easing my fingers inside of her I watch her ride me. My fingers 
are delving deep inside of her moist heat as muscles clench and 
contract burying me deeper inside of her.

	I reach up and grasp her breast in my hand. Her cheeks are 
flushed and my eyes lock on a drop of sweat trailing its way down 
her body. The slender arch of her body is hinting a close release so 
I start to move faster and deeper. I want to bring her satisfaction 
but a tear falls as I realize I want this to last forever. She is my 
other half, why could I have not realized it before? Before I lost 
her and she sought the emotional support of another.

	Is there a pill for heartbreak? I am drawn out of my 
thoughts by her choked sob and our eyes meet. Both of us have tears 
trailing down our cheeks as we realize the sun is creeping over the 
horizon. Harder and faster she rides me, our eyes locked until I 
plunge deep and curve my fingers inside of her. Losing herself in 
the moment she collapses against me and I hold her as she cries.

	"I don't want this." I don't know if she is referring to 
leaving me or to us, the latter thought heartbreaking in itself.

	"You know you have to do what is right for you." My hands 
stroke her hair, trying to be strong. Her sobs are raking through 
her body much like the orgasm only moments before. "If you need me&" 
God this is hard, for three years she was mine and now&she really 
can't be doing this. It's a dream right? No dreams are nice this is 
the cold, hard, numbing truth.

	"I am here for you always baby." She nods and I notice eyes 
that are red and swollen from crying. Goosebumps cover my flesh as I 
watch her. Maybe I should leave and let them be together but I know 
I can't. I will stay in the shadows and be her protector, her 
guardian.

	"You deserve better than me." She looks up startled. 
Wrapping my hand in her trembling fingers I hear whispered words 
laced with anguish "Don't ever&say&" I watch as she swallows 
hard&"You are the best and I love you&god do I love you&but she 
needs me."

	I want to tell her how much I need her as well but I am 
quiet. If I open my mouth I will beg her to stay. "Will&I&" Why am I 
so stupid that I can't talk now?
	
	"Will I see you?" 

	She collapses in tears and holds me tight in her arms. I 
keep hearing whimpers and choked sobs, words of apologies mixed in. 
Pushing her face back I gather strength I don't know I had. "Go do 
what you have to do sweetheart. When it feels like nobody is with 
you, when she isn't what you need, think of me baby, I am in your 
heart&" The radio starts to play a song that just makes it harder. 
We both stop and listen

I'll remember you 
It's daybreak, and you are asleep, 
I can hear you breathe now, 
Your breath is deep 
But before I go, 
I'll look at you one last time, 
I can hear a heart beat, is it yours or is it mine? 
I look at your lips, I know how soft they can be, 
Did they know what they wanted, the times they kissed me, 
And your hands, that I've held in mine, 
Now they're reposing on the pillow, 
Will they ever miss me sometime? 

	She is crying but gets up out of the bed it is too hard for 
us both.

I'll remember you, you will be there in my heart, 
I'll remember you, but that is all that I can do, 
But I'll remember 
Your eyes, that always make me shiver, 
Now they're closed, they just sometimes twitch a little, 
And your body, I could hold for an hour, 
It sent me to heaven, with its heat and power, 
I'll remember you, you will be there in my heart, 
I'll remember you, but that is all that I can do, 
But I'll remember
	
          She wants to come back to bed but I shake my head no. The 
least I can do is be her strength. With a trembling hand she touches 
the doorknob. My heart is breaking and her sobs are echoing through 
the room. As the door closes I swear I feel her with me. 

"I'll remember you." I whisper allowing the heartbreak to overcome 
me finally. Maybe&I pray&she'll be back.






Willow: "It's a good fight, Buffy, and I want in."
Buffy:  "I kinda love you."
                     'Choices'

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