A Wiffy novel, made to order.

["Howard Russell" <howardrussell2000@xxxxxxxxx>]

Hello Everybody!

I saw an ad for a personalized vampire romance novel to be made to order.  I, having Wiffy on the brain, figured it could be an interesting way to get a Wiffy novel from an unexpected source.  So I went to the site and read up on it.  For only $30, a printed and bound Wiffy novel could be quite nifty.  Well, they had a preview section and I tried it out.  This is where the problem arose.  Sadly, it's geared for straight couples only.  Here's the example excerpt I got with Willow as the human and Buffy as the mysterious--and yet hysterically male--vampire.

Oh, did I mention that there was a place to put the heroine's best friend's name?  Too bad the best friend is assumed to be a straight female.  Poor Xander.



From: Romance By You.
( http://www.bookbyyou.com/romance/default.asp )
"Vampire Kisses" excerpt:

A college campus is the setting for Vampire Kisses and where Willow Rosenberg and Buffy Summers first cross paths.  It's love at first sight, but as they become closer, Willow discovers that Buffy has a horrifying secret -- he's a vampire doomed to a bloodthirsty immortality!

Although Willow senses danger beneath his soft-spoken manner, and even after Buffy himself warns her away, Willow is drawn to this creature of the night and loves him as she has loved no other.


- - - - - -

Willow and Buffy meet at the library...

Spying a dusty red binding on the lower shelf, Willow pulled at the tightly wedged volume.  Unbeknownst to her, her jostling had caused a book to dislodge and tumble from its precarious position on the top shelf.  Then she heard it -- the sound of a sudden movement and leather against flesh.  She looked up, surprised.

"What?" her green eyes widened as she took in the sight.

"If I startled you, my apologies."  The man in dark silk smiled at her through electric blue eyes and then reached up toward the skewed shelf, adjusted it, and returned the book.  His voice was like his clothing, soft, rich, almost beckoning.  The dim light fell gently on his blonde hair and shoulders.  Impossibly wide shoulders...

Willow felt her heart skip a beat; 'how picturesque.'  His arms seemed not to stretch as he reached to resettle the shelf.  Watching from below, comprehension dawned, she tucked her red hair behind her ears in nervousness.  'Ah, the noise.'  She eyed the angle, and a shudder wracked her body.  'The whole shelf could have toppled were it not for this curious stranger.'  She had to clear her throat before she could speak, her mind filled with images of heavy, sharp-cornered objects landing on her head.  "Thanks for the rescue," Willow said.  Then with a grin added, "Quick hands."

"Only when there is need, I assure you."  Buffy Summers smiled, teeth reflecting bright in the dusty air, those broad shoulders casting a shadow over Willow.  He nodded in what might almost have been considered a bow and then turned sideways and was gone.  One moment there, the next he'd vanished as though he'd never been...


- - - - - -

Willow and Xander: a little intellectual repartee...

A lascivious grin was spoiled by the frothy mustache Xander wore; cross-eyed, she glared at it, twisting up her mouth, remnants of her latte still clinging to her lips.

"Do stop licking your lips that way; some man might get the right idea about you, and then where would you be?"  Willow was only half kidding, green eyes ablaze.

"Where every cat longs to be, my sweet innocent little bookworm.  Completely in the cream."  She batted her eyelashes outrageously making Willow laugh.

"So, your date last night?"

"Oh, it was perfect.  A perfect catastrophe," Xander grinned.  "I told you he was in the adult education program, right?"  She waited for Willow to nod, all-the-while choking on her own laughter.  "Well, we finally got around to talking about what he studies."  Giggles began to emerge, making her slur her words.  "That yummy little Brad-Pitt-in-Thelma-and-Louise I was drooling over is here studying to become a priest!"

"Oh, no!"  Willow sat back and burst into laughter of her own.  "What did you do?"

"Oh, I merely suggested that an in-depth knowledge of temptation and sin might help in his work.  I even offered to give him a guided tour."

"You didn't!"  It was purely rhetorical; knowing Xander, Willow was quite sure she had.  "What did he say?"

"I thought I heard 'get thee behind me', but he was running the other way, so I could be wrong."

If Willow hadn't already finished her drink, she'd have choked...


- - - - - -

Buffy has vampire lust...

Buffy sighed.  He longed to go to Willow, to comfort her, to caress her, but he could not, and so he remained outside, just below her window, watching and listening.  He thought of her silky red hair and dancing green eyes.  His mouth filled with the bittersweet taste of longing.  The first flush of dawn chased him away, but before he left, he thrust a note beneath her window sash.

     I have watched from the shadows;
     you are brighter than sunlight.

It might have been more poetic than literal, but he meant it truly; hers was a warmth that would not burn him to ash -- though it did seem to have seared its way into his heart.


- - - - - -

Buffy -- the first bite...

Buffy looked at Willow, blue eyes bright with passion; his hands shook.  "Are you sure?"

She took his face in her hands, drew him near for a kiss as she gazed into his blue eyes.  His fangs fully extended; she traced them with her tongue, loving the taste of him.  "I am."  It felt like a vow.  "I love you."  Willow ran her fingers through his blonde hair then pulled him to her.

He stood it as long as he could, then another moment longer.  But finally he had to move, or come undone.

Buffy trailed kisses along her collarbone, nibbled her earlobe, making his way to the nape of her neck.  Willow moaned beneath his attention, the sound making him shake with yearning, thirst, desire, and love.  He hesitated for one eternal moment, fangs extended to their full length, throbbing, dripping the essence of his need onto Willow, her perfect skin glistening in the dim light.  Slowly, but with nothing of uncertainty -- he bit down not quite tenderly, knowing she would enjoy the feel of his teeth -- but carefully to cause no pain.  His fangs sank within her, pressed home, revealing incredible sensations for both lovers, a new consummation.  Her heartbeat raced through them both.  Willow kept her back straight and her shoulders remained still, but her thighs and hips rolled sensuously as music moved through her and her blood sang...


- - - - - -



So many things actually really work with the Wiffy premise too!  The campus setting.  The library with dusty tomes.  The bookshelf almost falling on poor Willow's head.  The coffee shop where best friends go to chat.

If you want to write them and suggest that they expand their orientation options, write to: publish@xxxxxxxxxxxxx

If they ever decide to make a lesbian version, I just might buy it.

Your fellow 'shipper,
Howard

P.S. As an added bonus, the one of the customer's blurbs shown on the same page as my Wiffy example referrences Buffy!

"There are no vampire slayers in this book and Buffy pales in comparison to my wife who was the heroine.  When is the sequel?..." -- John R., RI, USA

Maybe no Buffy in John's copy . . . .
------
"Some things are just plain wrong...like fat, naked people on trampolines.  There's simply nothing that can possibly justify it.  Ever."
--obsidian-fox and Xylix

My Homepage:
http://www.geocities.com/howardrussell2000/
Wiffy Goodness C2:  (Select "Rating: All" for more fics)
http://www.fanfiction.net/c2/24163/3/1/1/
--
Hello Everybody!



Your fellow 'shipper,
Howard
------
"Some things are just plain wrong...like fat, naked people on trampolines.  There's simply nothing that can possibly justify it.  Ever."
--obsidian-fox and Xylix

My Homepage:
http://www.geocities.com/howardrussell2000/
Wiffy Goodness C2:  (Select "Rating: All" for more fics)
http://www.fanfiction.net/c2/24163/3/1/1/


Willow: "It's a good fight, Buffy, and I want in."
Buffy:  "I kinda love you."
                     --'Choices'

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