Punishing...book 5 by Red...rated nc17...BW...WARNING DARK ABUSE...

["cocoachanel67" <red.slayer@xxxxxxxxx>]

Punishing
book 5
Red
Joss' folk.
BW NC17
Summary: Buffy and Willow babble their true feeling to each other. 
Ok, Buffy talks, Will babbles.
+++++

"Buffy?"

Buffy smiled when she heard her name. It was barely above a whisper, 
but it was there. Running her fingers gently through soft, red hair, 
she answered.
"Right here, Will."

Willow's eyes opened and she smiled. "You really here? Or am I 
dreaming again?"
"I'm here, really... here and very worried about my Willow."

Willow's smile grew. "Your Willow...mmmmm, always wanted to be your 
Willow."
Buffy kissed her forehead softly. "You always have been my 
Willow...and you always will be."
"I'm so sorry." Teras started forming in the witch's eyes. 

"No, no Will, no sorry, this isn't your fault, NOT your fault."

"I'm bad...bad girls get punished."

It was all Buffy could do to not get up, go down the hall and wrap 
the chains around Kennedy's throat.
"You are not bad, Willow, understand? Not bad...I don't know exactly 
what's been going on here, but I do know that Kennedy has been 
hurting you...and I do know that it's never going to happen again...I 
promise you that."
Willow's tears fell freely. "You don't understand..." She tried to 
focus on Buffy, but the pain medicine had her more than a little 
fuzzy and she wasn't sure which of the three Buffy's she saw was the 
real one. "I hurt me."
Buffy didn't flinch. "Maybe you did, but she hurt you worse...Faith 
told me exactly what she saw and I know you, Will...you didn't want 
that."
Willow shook her head a little. "I didn't...I didn't, Buffy, I swear 
I didn't."
"Sh, calm down, sweetie, I know you didn't...I know you didn't...and 
I swear, it won't ever happen again."
She kissed Willow's forehead again, her own tears streaming down onto 
her witch's face and mixing. 

"I love you, Buffy...I mean, love love, not best freidny love but in 
love with love I'm in love with you Buffy since forever and I have to 
tell you even tho' now you're probably not gonna wanna be even best 
friends anymore 'cause I know I disgust you." Willow cried harder.
Oh gawd...she loves me...SHE LOVES ME!

"Willow, sh, Willow listen to me." She gently wiped the tears from 
the redhead's eyes, carefully. "Number one, I could never, ever be 
digusted by you. I'm sure the bitch put that idea in your head so I'm 
taking it out, right now...never EVER could I be disgusted by 
you...wanna know why?"
"Maybe." Willow sniffled. "K, why?"

Buffy smiled big. "Because you're my Willow and I love you, in the, 
I'm in love with you way."
Willow's eyes grew wide. "K, I'm kinda stoned right now, right? 
Hearin' things?"
Buffy laughed. "Yeah, you are kinda stoned, but you're not hearing 
things...I am in love with you, Willow Rosenberg...and I'm so sorry 
it took me so long to see it. As Dawn put it, I'm one of the 
stupidist people she knows."
Willow giggled. "Stupid Buffy's in love with me."

Buffy cocked a brow. "Stoney Willow's in love with me."

"Darn tootin'!"

Buffy leaned in and carefully brushed her lips over Willow's bruised 
ones, her whole body tingling when Willow kissed her back.
"I'm so in love with you, slayer...from the first time you said my 
name."
Buffy stroked Willow's hair, her eyes never leaving the stoned yet 
once again, sparkling greens looking up at her.
"I'm so in love with you, witch...I always have been...and the 
thought of not being with you, makes me unable to breathe."
"Me, too."

Buffy kissed her softly again. "Ok, you need to rest, sweetie...I'm 
right here, not going anywhere...except maybe to the 
bathroom...that's one of those things I kinda can't control."
Willow smiled. "Potty run is forgiveable...Buffy?"

"Yeah, sweetie?"

"You didn't kill her did you?"

"No, I didn't kill her." Yet.

"Faith didn't kill her, did she?"

"No, baby, Faith didn't kill her either. Now rest."

"I need to tell you, tell you everything...what I've done...I'm so 
sorry, Buffy."
Willow began to cry and this time, nothing Buffy said could make her 
stop. She cried hard and as she did, she confessed everything, from 
the first time she harmed herself, to the last...to how horrible she 
was for loving the blonde slayer while she was with Tara...how she 
did love and care for Tara, but how her heart wanted no one but 
Buffy. She told the slayer how she had wanted to die after Tara did, 
how she had wanted Buffy herself to kill her...she told of her need 
to punish herself and how that Kennedy understood...had helped in the 
beginning.
And as she made her confession, Buffy held her close, gently, 
stroking her hair, crying tears of her own, the pain she felt for 
this woman she loved, quickly turning into rage for the one who had 
been taking advantage of it. Kennedy fed from Willow's guilt, her 
pain and twisteding it, molding it to fit her sick agenda and Buffy 
swore right there, as Willow's tears slowly but surely softened, the 
witch drifting off into a much needed sleep, that Kennedy would pay 
for each and every mark she had ever put on Willow. 




Willow: "It's a good fight, Buffy, and I want in."
Buffy:  "I kinda love you."
                     'Choices'

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