RE: FIC: Moon Dreams I - Wolf Moon Rising (3/7)

["Mad Hamlet" <Mad-Hamlet@xxxxxxx>]

Greetings,

I'm going to actually review this one.

Well, the premise is nothing original. An inclusion of another 'major' horror
mythology that has been successfully popularized by role playing games;
nothing inherently wrong with that though it's lacking somewhat in
originality. True originality in a core idea is hard as hell to come by,
impossible according to some definitions so the point is rather, not to have
an original core but rather a good execution of that idea.

And how was the execution?

In a word: Dull.

Oh the writing was detailed, very drawn out well enough. The dialogue was
alright but nothing spectacular. The descriptions were fair but depended far
too much on glib repetition and the characterization was pretty blasé. In
terms of writing itself, the majority was flawless; good punctuation, proper
spelling sure the occasional typo but nothing that got in the way of the story
but that was more of the fact that because of the clinical way the story was
presented it didn't go down very deep. 

I think it can be summed up in one of the closing paragraphs that read:(I
might not be quoting it verbatim) In time Willow learned to control her
changes.

That's it. In time she learned.

Now werewolves, as I would imagine, house a lot of their appeal in the idea of
how much a primal representation they are. Some bridge between man and beast,
a facet of something old, primal, yet unaffected by age fueled by an unceasing
rage, hunger and need to kill. The werewolf is, depending on where you look
but the majorities view parallels it, up to a twelve foot wall of tight muscle
and sinew wrapped around a mountain of bone with claws and teeth sharp enough
to shear off the top of a tank as easily you open a bag of pop-rock; and
within the corporeal example of fury, the light of reason has about as much
chance of restraining the beast as a naked wino taming a tornado. 

And 'In time Willow learned yadda, yadda, yadda.'

HOW!?

I think there were several reasons why the werewolf thing was sort of glossed
over in the actual show.

-Seth Green wasn't interested.

-Focusing on the primal would have shifted focus off the 'Darkness' since the
beast is predominantly amoral. Even in the wild animals shun members of their
one species who seem to enjoy casual slaughter.

I'm not saying it would have been easy but it would have been far more
INTERESTING. 

So, yeah, it so far has been a pretty complete story but nothing that
swallowed me up in raw passion which is surprising considering primal and
passion are sometimes synonyms and the werewolf is practically an avatar of
them.

One last thing- That was not sixteen year old Willow behaviors; Sophomore
College yes, not season one Willow though.

So it's a story, so far, but I think that a bit more raw feeling has to be
injected into it. Not pure praise, I know, but probably something far more
useful for any author-to-be: Information.

Oh, and Perrin? Learn to figure out your own Yahoo account. And if you don't
know what RTFM means I suggest you look that up as well you dyslexic
reactionary, pea-brained, overchromosed, nightmarish excuse for a genetic
anal-retentive moronic carbon-based life form.

I remain, as always,
Mad-Hamlet


I was born modest, but it wore off.
                         -Samuel Clement(Mark Twain)


Look upon my work ye mighty and...ah skip it.
http://www.realmoftheshadow.com/madhamlet.htm
                                    -Mad Hamlet


Creator & Editor of Radio: JAABAFF.
The first and only BtVS Femslash Radio Show.
http://www.wiffy-dreamverse.com/




Willow: "It's a good fight, Buffy, and I want in."
Buffy:  "I kinda love you."
                     'Choices'

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