FIC: Never Free VI

["xenarip13" <xenarip13@xxxxxxxxx>]

Please see prologue for all disclaimers.


I apologize for the delay, but recently my muse has abandoned me.  I 
hope this part will flow better than I think.  Thanks for reading.


Never Free VI ? Consequences



The red-head whips around to confront the slayer's biting remark.  
Her eyes bright flames instead of ebony, she raises her hand in a 
sweeping arc pushing a strong wind with it.  She manages to blow 
Giles off his feet easily.  The windows rattle in their frames, half 
the training items are blown across the yard, but Buffy still stands 
her hair blown free, but otherwise unscathed.  

"You'll have to do?"  Buffy starts.

Willow's eyes turn ebony as she speaks with a deep force, "Dach Yael 
Bethud!" she finishes pushing her open palm out at the blonde.

Buffy feels her feet leave the ground and her body flying until it 
meets the immediate stopping force of the brick garage.  She hears 
the brick weaken at her impact.  She picks herself off the ground and 
faces the Wicca.

"?better." She finishes.

"Again!" Willow paces toward Buffy.

Again, Buffy smashes into the brick wall.  Over and over again Willow 
crushes Buffy's body into the brick garage.  Finally, as Willow 
stands only a couple of feet Buffy's beaten body and the severely 
damaged wall, the witch stops her assault.  

"You would do well to remember that you are not the only one with 
power," Willow looks down at the blonde who is lying flat on her back 
breathing hard.

Buffy opens her eyes which are a dangerous blue, "I remember." 

"I won't touch you, but as you can see I don't have to lay one finger 
on you to hurt you?still."  Willow's eyes turn from black to red and 
slowly to her natural green.

Buffy closes her eyes to this transformation loathing herself for 
having brought the darkness back to her friend's eyes.  Slowly, she 
gets up and looks at Willow.  She simply nods to her friend and 
watches as Willow turns to go back to the house.

"Don't bad mouth her again," Willow warns, "It wasn't her fault."

"No, it was mine." Buffy murmurs to herself, "It was min and I'm 
sorry.  I don't have to touch you to hurt you either."

Willow hears this knowing she wasn't meant to.  She continues walking 
into the house ending in her room on her bed exhausted from the 
energy spent.

`How do I help her? She won't let anyone in.  What has happened to 
her?'  Her mind wonders.

"What did this to her?" She whispers defeated.

"She did, Red."  Spike materializes in the room.

"Spike?" Willow sits up, "How?"

"That's a long story, Love and I ain't supposed to be here so?"

"She did it? I don't understand."

"Yes, she did it.  It's a price?she is paying it.  I can't say much 
more than that.  Sorry Red.  You have to make her let you help her.  
You have to find a way."  Spike starts to flicker.

"I need to know the price?what is it for?"  Willow demands.

"I can't Red?.You have to get her to tell you or you have to find out 
yourself.  I am going to get punished for this as it is.  Find a way?
it's more important than you know?you'll lose her for good this 
time?"  Spike blinks out.

"Damn it, Spike!"  Willow curses at the emptiness feeling her power 
surge inside.

Willow stands moving to her mirror.  She looks at her frail frame.  
She closes her eyes opening them to look at the fire red power in 
them.

"Close today.  I came close today?closer than ever before since?" she 
talks to her reflection, "Control.  I am in charge not you.  I know 
you desire to lash out and hurt, but I control you.  I'm weak, but my 
strength has come home.  I know you feel it too, but I will not let 
you feed on whatever darkness she has brought home with her.  I 
choose to help her, forgive her?I choose to l?care for her and I 
command you not the other way around.  Now lay dormant?Quiet!"

The witch closes her eyes and reopens them to see a dull green 
instead of angry crimson.  She takes another look at herself before 
returning to her bed.

`Price?  What price could she be paying?  If she is paying it, then 
she chose to?why?for what?'  Willow's mind turns, `Spike's a ghost 
and came with Buffy?why?  It happened at the hellmouth?whatever 
happened to cause this happened there. The First, Powers that Be?
Goddess?  What price?can I help her?  Can I pay it instead?...' The 
witch's mind trails off as sleep over takes her.

Buffy sits silently at the table with Giles and Dawn.  Giles sent the 
younger slayers out to clean up the training area as part of their 
warm up.  He couldn't take their chatter about Buffy any longer.  
Dawn pushes her food around her plate.  Giles slowly drinks his tea 
as Buffy stares at her full plate.

"Eat Buffy."  Dawn orders, "I know you're hungry.  I heard your 
stomach growl when I set it in front of you.  Not eating won't change 
what happened outside."

"She's right.  You need to eat.  Willow will be fine."  Giles adds.

"Yeah, no thanks to me.  I know I shouldn't have said that.  It hurt?
what she said.  I didn't know anything could really hurt me anymore, 
but that did and I lashed out."

"Well, if it hurt?perhaps, there's hope yet," Dawn offers as she 
dumps her plat, "You deserved what she did, but I know you already 
know that."

"I think you wanted our witch to hurt you," Giles says casually as he 
watches Dawn go outside, "Guilt is powerful?it wounds you and makes 
you want to suffer.  You wanted to hurt?for Willow especially to be 
the one to cause this pain.  You truly wanted her to?"

"Yes," Buffy interrupts, "but not at the expense of?darkness."

"The darkness lives in her as it does you."  Giles offers.

"Perhaps, but I don't have to help it thrive."  Buffy's blue eyes 
search Giles'. `Please hear what I am trying to tell you.' The 
slayer's mind cries out, `Ask the right questions?please help me tell 
you.'

Giles leans across the table stopping just shy of touching his 
slayer, `You're trying to tell me something.'  He blinks as his mind 
searches her vague words.

"You left because of Willow.  I knew you came back for her, but you 
also left for her."

"Yes.  I left to?"  Buffy draws in air afraid to talk about it.

"To protect her, but from what?  Surely, not from yourself?"

"Kind of?I?" Buffy drops her head, "I love her so I had to leave."

"To protect her from love?" Giles looks on confused.

"No?to protect her from what's inside me, Giles. You see me?what I 
can do?I know you feel the darkness in me?it practically oozes from 
me."

"Yes, but you haven't said why or what did it. You have to tell me so 
I can help you."

"You can't help me.  I chose this.  I did it to myself.  I was 
offered a choice?I chose and now I am paying the price." Buffy looks 
at her watcher, "No one else can pay it."

"What price Buffy? The hellmouth was closed there.  I don't 
understand what price?"

"The balance, Giles. I'm the balance.  Remember why the First was 
able to be freed?"

"Of course, bringing you back from the dead caused the imbalance?Oh 
My!" understanding dawns on Giles, "The balance?one chosen?many 
slayers?Willow's spells?but she?"

"Yeah?she."  Buff whispers, "It's her price, but I am paying it.  It 
goes all the way back to my resurrection and the imbalance, but it 
also has to do with changing destiny.  When I asked her to empower 
the potentials, it unleashed a larger imbalance."

"There was no chosen one, but many chosen."  Giles supplies.

"Hmmm?and a price had to be paid for that much power?a heavy price?"

Willow?it's her."

"No, I made my choice and now it's my price?I carry the load instead."

"You are still one above the rest?chosen. Why did you do it?what is 
it?"

"You know why and as for what?the First?"  Buffy lowers her head 
again.  When she raises it Giles flinches backwards in his chair.

Before him sits his slayer, but where she once had blue eyes they are 
now demon red.  Her bone structure has changed in her face now 
resembling a vampire's game face.  As soon as he sees I, the slayer 
reigns back in and Giles sees the new Buffy looking back at him again.

"I wouldn't let the darkness have her, Giles. I couldn't let her 
suffer for me, for us.  It was her or I had to carry the balance 
inside me."  Buffy smiles sadly, "It was the easiest choice I have 
ever made, but I had to hurt her to save her."

"I understand why, Buffy, but couldn't we have?"

"I couldn't take the chance.  I wouldn't be here now except she was 
killing herself to find me?I can't stop hurting her Giles.  It's 
killing me more than the burden inside me ever could."

Giles stands and walks over to the blonde and quickly wraps her in 
his arms.  She struggles to get free.

"You'll have to hurt me to make me let go."  Giles warns.

Almost instantly the struggle stops replaced with trembling.  No 
tears roll down the blonde's face, but her body quakes with silent 
sobs.  Giles holds her, but even he can feel the sinister energy 
inside her.

"You did what you did for love, Buffy.  If you would tell her she 
would understand."

N-no?she can't know?not yet."  Buffy struggles again.

"Ssshh?okay, but at least tell her how you feel?she deserves that 
much honesty?especially from you.  Tell her you love her?that you're 
in love with her."

Buffy pulls away to look at her watcher in shock, "I?I am.  I will.  
I promise."

"Good.  Now go train my potentials."  Giles almost smiles, but Buffy 
only nods and walks out the door.

"I don't know what we will do now, but I know I can't let Willow lose 
you again.  I don't think she would survive it."  Giles turns to head 
to his library as he hears Buffy ordering the potentials through 
drills.


TBC




Willow: "It's a good fight, Buffy, and I want in."
Buffy:  "I kinda love you."
                      --'Choices'

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