FIC: Never Free VII

["Jophes" <xenarip13@xxxxxxxxx>]

Please see Prologue for all disclaimers and warnings
 I apologize for the delay.  Bad case of writer's block and it 
shows.  I hope to have a better chapter for you soon.

Bynx


Never Free VII

Willow awakens to the sound of sparring outside.  She pulls herself 
out of bed to go to her window.  As she looks down, she sees a sight 
she has not seen in over a year.  Buffy is out back training 
slayers.  13 months ago, the woman had walked away from this and from 
all of them.  As she watched the Slayer now, she can see it is only 
going through the motions for the woman.  The witch has seen this 
before as well.  It was when Willow brought her back from the dead.

"When I tore her out of heaven, because?"  Willow swallows finally 
voicing the truth to herself instead of just in her head, "because I 
couldn't live without her."

`Tore her out of heaven?dead?'  Willow's mind stops on this thought.  
Something is digging at her, but she can't make the 
connection.  `Damn it, Spike.  I need to know the truth and Buffy 
will never tell me.'  Willow walks out of her room heading to the 
bathroom to shower.  As she enters the warm water, her mind will not 
let her relax, `You want the truth, yet you have never offered her 
the same.'  Willow closes her eyes at her own accusations.  `How do I 
tell her that now?  She just came back.  I am not prepared to have 
her run away again.  I?you what?  I love her too much to lose her.'  
Willow steps from the shower drying off.  `If you look in the mirror 
at yourself that is clearly evident in the reflection you will see.'

"Shut up."  Willow scolds herself, "She came back didn't she?"

`Yes, but how did she know to come back is a question that should be 
asked.'  Willow's logic answers the spoken question. 

"Spike, she knew because Spike knew and he told her.  He came here 
with her, but he would either have had to have been here first or 
someone gave him that information.  He came with her and not before?I 
know this.  He is tied to her meaning someone or something told him 
about me.  Damn it, none of this helps except giving me more 
unanswered questions."  Willow takes one last look at herself as she 
finishes dressing.

The witch calmly makes her way back through the house.  It is 
decidedly quiet with the young slayers still outside with Buffy.  
Willow shakes her head still not used to the idea that Buffy is here 
and outside right now.  She passes the front room looking to see 
Giles, but he is not there.  Xander would be at work and Dawn is 
probably outside with the others since the kitchen is quiet.  She 
continues into the basement after quickly looking outside to see 
Buffy showing the new slayers some techniques with a staff.  She 
comes to the open door of the office where she spies Giles sitting.

Giles sits steeped inside a mound of dark tomes as Willow walks into 
their own private research library.  She walks right to him without 
him noticing.  Quietly, the red-head reads over his shoulder from one 
of the oldest books she has ever seen.

`It is the council's understanding that a balance must always be 
maintained between good and evil.  This would, at first thought, seem 
too simplistic to need to be recorded; however the required balance 
extends to the slayer line as well.

Since the slayer's power comes from demonic forces, it was first 
placed into an innocent female.  A female was chosen after it was 
determined that the male candidates could not survive the ritual or 
so our translations tell us.  Only one slayer could exist and carry 
the balance of power within her.

To this day, we are not exactly certain how Buffy Anne Summers and 
Faith Connors have existed together except the possibility that this 
was due to one carrying more darkness and not a balance.  Buffy 
Summers appeared to carry the true balance where as Faith Connors 
appeared to carry an imbalance between the darkness and innocence.  
It could be surmised  from this break in the balance of the slayer 
line that any disturbance to the power balance would be disastrous?'

Willow is interrupted as Giles realizes she is behind him and closes 
the book.  He stares at her sternly.  She moves back from him with  
sigh, but feels no remorse in her actions.

"Willow?" he looks at her noticing the difference in her, "You look?
better."  He removes his glasses to clean them.

"Thank you.  I'm not going to apologize."  Willow points out.

"No, I didn't think you would, but it isn't very polite young lady."

"Neither is keeping things from the group.  What have to been 
researching Giles?"

"Balances of power.  I thought perhaps it would give me some insight 
into Buffy and the slayers."  Giles tells her part of the truth.

"Balances of power?"  Willow repeats as her mind grabs onto another 
thought. `Tore her out of heaven?dead?'

"What are you thinking Willow?"  Giles interrupts, "I can see your 
mind churning."

Willow shakes her head to clear it, "I'm not sure.  I haven't been 
able to put it together yet."

"Is Buffy still outside?" 

"Yes, she was when I came down here.  Do you need her?"
"No, I just wanted to know where she was."  Giles replaces his 
glasses.

"Do you want help with this?"

"No, I'll let you know if I do.  I think you have a puzzle you are 
trying to work out yourself."  Giles leans back over his now re-
opened volume.

"Giles, have we always had that book?"

"No, it is one that Faith and Ken?"  Giles stops.

"It's okay Giles.  Kennedy and Faith sent it back.  It's also okay 
that they found each other as well.  I am happy for them both.  They 
deserve to be happy and I couldn't do that for Kennedy."  Willow 
turns away.

"Are you going to tell her Willow?"  Giles bluntly asks.

"Tell who what?" Willow doesn't turn around.

"Tell Buffy that you love her?are you going to tell her this time?"

"I?I don't know."

"Okay, but you should at least get something to eat.  You are looking 
better and would be a shame to see it go to waste."

"Thank you, Giles."

The old Brit doesn't answer as the witch makes her way back upstairs 
to the kitchen.  Even before entering, she can hear the noise of 
conversation in the room.  She takes a deep breath and enters.  The 
younger slayers are busily chatting to each other of all the new 
things Buffy ah taught them.  Dawn is quietly placing plates and 
utensils into the dishwasher as Buffy looks out the sliding doors 
lost in thought.

"How was training?"  Willow enters the room.

Dawn turns around to see Willow surprised to see her not only up but 
dressed for the first time in months.  She smiles despite knowing it 
is Buffy's return that has led to the red-head's beginning recovery.

"Buffy has definitely learned some new tricks," the younger Summers 
offers darkly.

The younger slayers let out few supportive phrases to back up what 
Dawn has said.  Dawn watches as Willow looks to the older slayer with 
an unmistakable longing on her face.  Silently, Dawn makes a decision.

"Girls, training is done for the day.  Let's get on with our 
schedule.  It's time for home study.  I believe today is Algebra."  
Dawn grin as the girls groan in disappointment, "Come on.  Let's go."

Willow pulls her gaze from the inanimate blonde slayer back to look 
at Dawn.  She catches the well meaning tilt of Dawn's head to her 
sister.  Willow smiles shyly as she mouths the words thank you to 
Dawn.  She waits as the Dawn and the others move out of the kitchen 
on their way to the study.  Once she can no longer hear them, she 
moves to sit in the way of the slayer's endless gaze out the doors.  
It takes but a moment for Buffy's eyes to focus on her best friend 
sitting across from her.  

"Willow, you look?better."  Buffy stammers.

"Thank you."  Willow halts the blush she felt coming.

"I?I'm sorry, Willow?about?about?"

"You never were very good at apologies."  Willow offers instead, "I 
know Buffy, but you are always sorry.  One of these times it will be 
too late."

"Is it too late this time?"  Buffy whispers.

"I don't know, but I hope not."  Willow answers as honestly as 
possible.

The witch sees the hurt cross through the woman's bluer than blue 
eyes at her declaration.  It pains her to have put it there, but she 
cannot forget all she has been put through to get the blonde back 
here.

"Willow, you look better, but you need to start taking care of 
yourself.  Have you eaten today?"  Buffy stands.

"No, I was just coming to get something."

"Can I make you something?"

"I don't know.  The last time I saw you cook it wasn't pretty."  
Willow smiles wickedly.

"Hey, I did a great job on Thanksgiving once, besides I have had to 
cook for myself a lot."  Buffy looks away at that, "So, I can whip 
you something up?if you trust me that is."

Willow looks at the hopeful expression on the slayer's scarred face.  
She doesn't have the heart to say no so she simply nods her ascent.  
Buffy nods back and begins rifling the kitchen for ingredients.  As 
Willow watches the changed woman work, she feels a little of their 
bond begin to come forth.  It isn't much, but perhaps it is enough to 
get things rolling.  Willow loses herself in watching the slayer move.
`She isn't graceful anymore.  Now, she is economical instead of 
fluid.'  Willow sighs as she realizes this, `It used to be beautiful 
to watch her compact form move during the simplest of tasks, but now 
she has had to make adjustments for her frame.  She is almost 
militant as she makes lunch.  The last time I saw her so different 
was after her resurrection?death?' Willow closes her eyes at the 
recurring thought, `Balance?death?The First?'  She opens her eyes to 
see Buffy staring at her with a plate of food in her hands.

"You okay there Willow?"  Buffy sets the plate down as her eyes peek 
out from the mass of dirty blonde hair shadowing her face.

"F-fine?sorry?I'm still a little tired."  Willow covers, "Are you 
eating with me?"

"If you want me to, I will."  

"Please Buffy, sit with me.  We can talk."  Willow watches as the 
slayer flinches, "We can talk about the mission the rest of us have 
been doing here."  Willow sees the blonde relax, "Buffy, I'm not 
forgetting you owe me?all of us an explanation, but I won't push you 
yet."

"Thank you."

"Don't thank me?I won't wait long."  Willow begins eating the chicken 
concoction in front of her surprising herself by enjoying it.

Buffy looks on as Willow eats.  She feels a small measure of pride at 
seeing the red-headed witch improve physically.  

`I need her at her best for what is coming.  I am so sorry Willow.'  
Buffy turns to her own food as Willow begins talking about the newest 
hellmouth they sit on.


TBC




Willow: "It's a good fight, Buffy, and I want in."
Buffy:  "I kinda love you."
                      --'Choices'

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