Reviews for Something About You rsand 2003-07-01 id # 92 LynX=Lynk. Hmm.... Be vewy, vewy cawful, you tweading into Mawy Sue countwy. Ahahahahahaha.... sightless_eye 2003-07-01 id # 93 Good work. The name Andariel is jarring for me, a Diablo 2 addict. Hmmm...the Maiden of Anguish in the Buffyverse... LynX 2003-07-02 id # 94 I know, reviewing my own story, but this is more of a comment on my own story than an actual review. I suppose it's not too bad for my 1st, but I've become accustomed to reading other's buffy femslash fan fics, so i thought "why not write my own?" I just had to jump at the chance. Coulda' been a bit longer, but considering there will be multiple chapters, similar to Shyfox's "Sappho's Spell" I suppose it's an OK length. So, is it good for a 16 year old? Mad-Hamlet 2003-07-08 id # 97 Greetings, Right off the bat I'll say this: Everything you are about to read is just ONE opinion so, ultimatly it doesn't mean much either way. Well it's a story. To your credit you have done things that not as many as you think are willing to do. Firstly, risk open publication of your work. Second, request honest feedback and commentary. So here's what I've got to say. For a sixteen year old it's not bad at all. There are some weakness' but it's all good. Here's what I noticed on a quick read through. First. Willow's massive turnaround in attitude. You had done a none too shabby job of portryaing glum Willow then this Lynk(Zela fan eh?) walks in and Willow's turned into little mary sunshine. Second. Xander. Why was he in the story? For that one line of his? Third. The 'Superhero'. Some would call that a 'Mary Sue', or 'Self insertion'. That is usually a mysterious 'new' character who comes along exhibiting wonderful powers, holy motives and divine wisdom. They always bring all the answers and more often than not wind up having sex with at least one of the major characters sooner or later. These should, generally, be avoided like the plauge. I can count on one hand the number of good fanfics that had Self Insertions in them and still have two fingers left to pick my nose with. And I WROTE one of them. All in all this fic has potential. The opening descriptions were good, but the quality slipped right about the time Lynk entered the picture(For a whole wopping three paragraphs). More descriptions and background information. Where did Lynk come from? How did Buffy meet her? WHY would Buffy think she'd be good for Willow? Remember- They live on the Hellmouth, trusting people is sorta hard as they may turn into a gut ripping demon or something. Also Willow is, as she said, in mourning which might make Buffy a little hesitant to try and shove potential dates onto the redhead. Why did Buffy think 'Now' would be a right time? When you're writing remember that everything in your world you are responsible for. If something happens, or a character enters the stage you are responsible for justifying and explaining their existance. You cannot simply state, 'I'm the author and its there because I say so'. So, to sum up: It's not a great story as is. It has, on the other hand, some potential. I'd recommend giving it a rewrite. I remain, as always, Mad-Hamlet