Reviews for Take Me With You gnome 2008-02-25 id # 7250 Awwwww! That was so cute! I loved it! Thanks for sharing that with us/me! Nicole 2008-02-25 id # 7251 I really liked your first story and hope you write more. J Williams uj18@onemain.com 2008-02-25 id # 7252 Damn, That was a fab first fic. I wouldn't complain if ya wanted to write more in ths universe. The idea of th girls in Torchwod would be very cool. Cuprit 2008-02-25 id # 7253 Awesome story, I'll to read more. Good Job. Mad-Hamlet 2008-02-25 id # 7254 Greetings, And...wait....what? Your first story and you just throw a 'plot' that's starting with an ending? And you throw in no information until the end on the 'When' or the 'Where' never mind 'Why' and 'How'? To cap it off you throw in a Crossover with Torchwood? On what? The off chance that SOME people might be familiar with the Doctor Who universe? And, heck as long as we're here, throw in some gender-bending Gaiatic pleading so we can have two women being biologically responsible for their offspring? Yes, alright, by the time you ended the story there was enough information, barely, too fill in the gaps if the reader was willing to do a little work but the hook and gaps were insufficient to motivate your average reader to press on through to the end. Most would back-click, track down PWPs. The only reason I pushed on was: A. The spelling, grammar and prose were pretty good. Indented paragraphs, proper dialog punctuation for the most part. Characterization is based on knowing the 'When/Where' of popular characters but there was enough 'On' in your characterization that made them recognizable so that's a point for you. And there was some pull to figure out what the @#$!!! was going on but not enough as stated; be glad for reason.... B. The plea of 'Be Nice'. Oh dear. You'd have better luck slitting your wrists and leaping into a tank of Great White Sharks to give them a lecture on the benefits of a vegetarian diet. 'Be Nice' is just a red flag in front of the bull that is me. However, I'm not totally malevolent and so I call it like I see it. The Good: Characterization and sorta nice little fuzzy-wuzzy ending. Good basic writing skills. The Bad: Plot. Plot holes. Pointless obscuring of information for the sake of mystery, thinking of beginning a story at an ending necessitating such construction of mystery. A Chaos Demon being the 'Bad Guy' again just, y'know...because. The Ugly: JACK HARKNESS? CROSS-OVERS? MAGIC FERTILIZATION AGAIN? Well, on the plus side you didn't have a Mary-Sue wave her magic pixie wand and fix Willow's memories. Now, it's quite possible that somewhere else you've written a Cross-Over that focused on Torchwood and, for your own reasons, also had an eensy-teensy bit of BtVS that you decided to bring to a close here. As you said that this is your first B/W fic though I doubt it. As far as 'firsties' go it's not bad for the reasons already presented, and accidentally hilarious- ex redux maximus. If pressed I'd give is six out of ten. A bit above average and better than quite a bit. No. I'm not nice, I'm not mean either. I'm honest. I remain, as always, Mad-Hamlet Shadowcub 2008-02-25 id # 7255 Really great! Rin 2008-02-26 id # 7258 Interesting how you open it up with the action. I like that for a change, instead of building it up. Will this be a stand alone, or will there will be chapters??