Enough of Me (parts 1-6) by Kimber

Disclaimer: I am a gnat in the world that is the Joss (watch out for the fly swatter). All characters belong to him and Mutant Enemy. I'm only borrowing them. I promise to put them back when I'm done, maybe with a little more angst. This is non-profit.

Summary: Sequel to 'Many Facets'. Someone wiggs out from the encounter, two of the most unlikely allies bond, and Christmas just doesn't seem like Christmas without someone in town. Angst ensues.

Spoilers: Everything up to and including "Hush" is fair game. All episodes are subject to bend at my will. *Bwahhhahahahaha*

Distribution: Just drop me a line and it's yours to archive.

Author's Notes: Feedback = Food. Story probably still has to be beta'd, any volunteers would be appreciated. PG-13, possibly PG-15. I'm not sure yet. It's probably for most audiences.

Thoughts are enclosed in < > and flashbacks are enclosed in <<< >>>

<Stupid> Thwack! <Dumb> Crunch! <Idiot> Slap! <Moron> Kick, kick… 'stake'….poof!

The pile of dust was proof positive that messing with the slayer now was not the best move to make after first rising. She'd made her rounds through the cemetery as usual. Checked the crypts, and two fresh graves. It would have taken her all night had Willow not left her a map of the cemetery and the names of the two boys who'd died of a 'mysterious loss of blood'. Willow. Her mind drifted back to only a week ago, when they'd crossed the line…gone past the point of no return. Buffy felt the color rise in her cheeks and her pulse quicken. Willow was all she'd thought about lately. Winter break was here and it was a chance to explore the new side of their relationship, make a solid connection. So what went wrong? Why was Buffy in the cemetery patrolling alone and Willow was…..

"But Will, classes are over. We finished exams! We have to celebrate, together…"

"No, Buffy. I'm…I'm spending the holidays with my parents…..in Wyoming. They're at my grandparents' house…and they…um…they reserved me a ticket…."

Buffy looked beyond her friend, saw the bags there, on her bed. Saw her computer packed up, her bed made, and apparently, her mind was made up too. She couldn't move. Afraid that the slightest movement would put things in motion. She stood there, her head down, a million images running through her mind….

She was at a loss for words, they both were. Without a sound, Willow reached up and lightly touched her fingers to Buffy's cheek. Leaning in, she left a light, lingering kiss there.

Buffy was startled. After Willow began to pull away, Buffy reached out and grabbed her friend into a crushing hug. The tightness in her throat let go in a strangled sigh, tears rolling down her cheeks.

Willow pulled away and removed Buffy's arms from her neck. Buffy frowned at the loss of contact. Gathering her things, Willow made her way to the door.

……..She'd closed the door to their room, and effectively, their relationship. By some fluke, Buffy found the phone number to Willow's grandmother's house buried on the desk underneath the cemetery map and called earlier in the evening. Willow refused to come to the phone, her grandmother made excuses and said she was resting, but Buffy knew the truth. Willow was avoiding her.

For three days before exams, a silence covered the town of Sunnydale, an unwelcomed silence. 'The Gentlemen' took their voices away, slowly and methodically hunting for seven hearts. By the time Buffy reached the bell tower and, side by side with Riley, fought the demons, there were two jars left. They both knew what it meant. With Riley smashing the box and Buffy screaming, The Gentlemen's plan was averted, but not without consequence. As Willow put it, something really 'freaky' passed between her and the new witch Tara. Admittedly, something passed between Buffy and Riley also. They'd kissed.

Buffy was sure Willow found out about the kiss. She and Riley had been talking about their 'identities', their separate duties, and the kiss. Willow walked in moments after, back from her 3 o'clock class. She gave no sign that she'd heard what they were saying, but Buffy knew she did. She wouldn't have been acting so distant and awkward lately had she not.

The four days leading up to Willow leaving were filled with near misses and tense undercurrents in their conversations. Buffy went to the Library, Giles' house, Xander's basement, the cafeteria…..missing Willow by mere minutes each time. Finally, having had enough of everything going unspoken, Buffy cornered her in their room. Willow knew she was supposed to be on patrol, and that's probably why she was there…..

"No, I'm fine. Thought I'd skip patrol tonight to in lieu of more important things…"

"Us. We're more important. What's going on, Will? Why have you been avoiding me?"

"Avoiding? I'm not avoiding you…see?…this is me not avoiding. We're here… together…in the same room…'cause, this is where we live…together…no avoiding going on here!" Her response was all to chipper and not very convincing.

"I think we need to talk about things. About us. What happened the other night was…"

Buffy looked at her for a moment. "No, it's not OK, Will" The hacker shot her a look of surprise. "I mean, I care about you…and I want the best for you…I hate that things are so weird between us….I want things back to the way they were…"

"We can't go back Buffy. Don't you see? What happened was…..it probably shouldn't have happened. We shouldn't have…." She moved out from behind her desk, silencing the slayer with a wave of her hand before she could interject, "Let me finish. I don't know what this is. I….I don't know who I am anymore. I was always the computer geek in high school, or Xander's unrequited crush, then I was your side-kick and Giles' research girl. Then to top it all off, I was the witch girlfriend of Sunnydale's resident werewolf. Now, I've lost myself somewhere between here and there. Everything's moving so fast and I can't….I won't get caught up in it. I need time…I have to think about everything. I just need you to leave me alone for now….please." With that she walked out the door.>>>

Without even realizing it, Buffy had think-walked herself to the front porch of Willow's house. She would have chuckled at the irony of the situation had she not been so consumed with thought. <Four hours. She's been gone four hours, two states away and you show up on her doorstep.> Trotting down from the porch, Buffy regrouped herself and set a new course for Giles' house. Since her mother was still away, she'd be spending Christmas with him. Her mother had tried to convince her to stay with her father for the holiday. It worked, but when she called her father, she found out that he'd be in New York for a conference the week of Christmas and New Year's Eve. He didn't even offer to have her go with him. She gave him Giles' number and hung-up. Still, Christmas with Giles wouldn't be THAT bad. At least that's what she tried to convince herself of on the walk over.

"Really? Oh, well…I guess I can try to catch her some other time." Buffy flopped unceremoniously on the couch and flipped the TV on. Giles gave her a look of curiosity and was going to say something but thought better of it. <She'll tell me when she's ready I suppose.> The night went off without a hitch and dinner was unusually quiet.

"Hmm, oh, no….not really. I well….Willow and I kind of had words before she left and I'm feeling kind of icky about the whole thing. I wish I could have talked to her when she called."

"I see. Yes, well, that would explain her mood on the phone then. She was quite somber and distracted. Not herself really. Is it something you wish to talk about?"

"What are you doing here, slayer? Shouldn't you be out somewhere dusting my friends or fighting demons and the like?"

"Well, someone's in a horrible mood toady, aren't they? What's wrong, luv, wake up on the wrong side of your stake?" He grinned.

"That's quite enough, you two. Spike, Buffy is staying with me for the holidays. She'll be in the other spare room. I hope you two can ah, amicably cohabitate. It won't be for long."

"Living with a slayer. Good thing Dru's not around to see this. She'd be so disappointed. What's become of me?"

Buffy helped Giles clean up after dinner, then went and sat at the other end of the couch. "Oh, great. Giles, I forgot all of my stuff! Now what am I supposed to do?"

"Giles, I'm 18. Do you really think I'm only gonna bring an overnight bag? I'm staying here for a month!"

"No, thanks but no thanks. Even if I did have my license, I wouldn't want to be caught dead in the watcher-mobile."

"I'll take her." It came from Spike. They both looked at him like he had sprouted an extra head.

"What? I'm bored and there's nothing on the telly. I need to get out of here, all of this tweed and watcher dust is kicking up my allergies." They didn't look too convinced. "I'll be good, really."

"Fine. But if he acts up, I swear I'll put him on a leash." She crossed the living room and waited by the door. Spike followed suit.

Two hours later, Spike's car was weighted down with Buffy's things. It looked like it was ready to explode.

"I swear slayer. I never had THIS much….crap….when I was 18. What are you, some sort of a pack-rat? And what the bloody hell are you going to do with all those pictures albums? You're only staying there for a month. It's not like you're not going to see all of your bloody friends over the holiday anyway."

Buffy was putting the last box in the car. Either she didn't hear Spike's comments or didn't want to dignify them with an answer.

"Now I know something's REALLY wrong. I'm trading barbs with you and all you can say is 'yeah that sounds good', You got a fever or something luv? Aww, is the slayer feeling feverish? Did you catch the willies or something?" Spike put on his best sarcastic whiny voice and reached his hand to her forehead.

She slapped his hand away, "Did I catch the what? No, I'm fine. I'm just distracted."

"Well, a distracted slayer is a dead slayer. Got myself two slayers like that. Why don't you tell old Spike what wrong? Maybe I can help."

It looked like Spike, the voice was Spike's, but Buffy couldn't believe what she was hearing. She poked at him with her finger.

"Something's obviously bothering you, luv. I'm really not in any position to give you THAT hard of a time. Me being well…."

"Temporarily incapacitated. Now, what is it? Tell old Spike. You never know, I could be of some help. I'm not all soul-havin and all that, but I am pretty sharp. Angel wasn't the only smart vamp in town." Spike's face brightened. "Hey, this has to do with the little witch, doesn't it? What happened slayer? Did she put frog entrails in your soup or something?"

"Remind me again why I should tell you anything?" Buffy gave him a skeptical look. She wasn't thoroughly convinced. Yet.

"I'm an outsider, an unbiased opinion. All of your little group is probably too close to it to give you an honest assessment. Plus, I won't charge ya for the advice. Come on now, what's the dirt? What did the little tree do to work you up into such a lather?"

"Her name is Willow. Not little witch, or little tree. Willow. And she didn't do anything. I did. I think I totally messed up our friendship, and I don't think there's a way to get it back."

"Come on slayer. Do go all dramatic on me. There isn't anything that can be THAT bad. Even Dru and I can make up after a scuffle of sorts. Heck, I even forgave her for kissing that chaos demon…." Just then, Spike's face lit up and a light bulb went on in his head. "Unless, of course…."

"Well, unless you've, um, crossed some sort of a line. You didn't……did you?" The look on Buffy's face answered his question. "Didn't you learn your lesson with Angel? He was all souled-up till you gave him happiness, and as much as I liked him without the bleeding heart routine, he was a menace when he lost it."

"Willow didn't lose her soul, Spike…she's human." Buffy gave him a look of disgust.

"No, slayer…she didn't. But if your implying what I think you are, then she's lost something just as valuable. She's lost her innocence. That damn wolf ran off and left her hangin by a thread, and none of you bloody well saw it until it was too late. I don't think I have to remind you about the havoc she caused by that little will spell of hers. I still can't get your taste out of my mouth." He was pacing now, arms flying around in the air. "She's vulnerable now and you took advantage of it! I can't believe you. I'm disappointed, really. I thought you had more brains than that."

Buffy gave him an incredulous look. "Since when do you care so much about Willow? And what about your little speech in the magic shop, how'd it go? 'Love isn't brains children, it's blood. Blood screaming inside you to……"

"All right, all right. Enough with the posturing. I full well know what I said to you two. If I've learned anything in the century or so I've been around it's that love hurts. And if you give it the chance it'll hurt you…"Buffy was about to interrupt, but Spike waved his hand. "I'm not saying it's not worth it slayer, don't get me wrong. I'm saying that you have to be sure. You have know in your heart that it's real and worth all the sacrifices. And you also have to know that it's not easy. Do you think it's worth it, slayer? Because if you don't, if you have even the smallest doubt in your mind, then all the love and fuzzy feelings in the world aren't gonna save your relationship with that girl. Any kind of relationship. If love is what's in the cards for you, then you'll know it, and so will she. If it screams through your blood, if you feel her touch even though she's not here, if it makes you quiver from head to toe, then you'll know it."

After a few minutes, Buffy opened the passenger side door and gave Spike a look. With that, they both headed back to Giles' house, the conversation still playing in each of their minds.

"Hello? Um, yes. Oh, yes…how are you dear. I've heard so much about you. No, I'm sorry, she's had a long trip and is resting now. I'll let her know you called though. Have a nice holiday. Bye."

Willow was sitting on the couch drinking tea when her Grandmother came in from the kitchen. She stood in the doorway and glanced at her granddaughter.

"But I don't understand it dear. You've written me so many letters and we've had so many phone calls. You've told me all about Buffy, and it seems to me that she's your best friend. Why on earth would you not want to talk to her?"

"Seems that nothing should be that complicated, dear. If two people care for and love each other then that's the most uncomplicated thing we can wish for." She smiled down at her granddaughter. "Let me know if you need anything. I'll be in the sewing room."

Willow sat there for a while, taking in the scent of the familiar. She spent many holidays and vacations here. The house brought back comforting memories, the smell of baked cookies and vanilla and flowers. That's what her grandmother always smelled like. It was comfort she sought when she got on the plane, comfort in the familiar, the unchanged. Willow's thoughts were broken by the sound of the phone again. Knowing Nana wouldn't hear it in the sewing room, she went to pick it up.

"Hello? Mom! Hi. Yes, I'm fine. I just wanted to be with Nana for winter break. Yes, I know. I'm sorry you can't be here too. No, we'll be fine. Nana always takes good care of me. You too, I'll see you at home after New Year's. Love you too, bye."

Willow was relieved that it was her mother on the other end of the line. Sheila and Ira Rosenberg were spending time with Ira's parents in between conferences. They'd go to the temple there, in Chicago, to worship. Anticipating the separation, Willow's mother sent her Hanukkah gifts to her with strict instructions to not open them until the right time, and they were even numbered.

Willow wandered into her bedroom, deciding that the plane trip had indeed wiped her out, and decided to take a nap. Curling up on her childhood bed, she soon found out that her mind was working overtime. Buffy. She'd been the reason Willow left. Right? Now she wasn't so sure. Oz? Giles? Xander? They could all be construed as contributing factors to her turning tail, but she knew that in the end, her own insecurities won out and forced her two states away from the people she loved.

Buffy didn't want her. Not really. It was a fluke. She was still missing Angel and Willow had to admit that she still loved Oz. That's why she did the spell. She did a love spell the night she ran from Buffy after their awkward meeting in the Psych building. After weaving her way through the throng of students she made her way home and went to the basement where the bulk of her supplies were stored. It was meant to be a harmless spell, designed to have true love reveal itself to her and Buffy. It was supposed to help them both get back together with the ones they loved. But she did it wrong, she must have. Right before the spell was to be completed, she heard footsteps on the porch outside the basement window. Her mind immediately shot to Buffy and she became distracted with the days' events. Instead of thinking of Oz, she thought of Buffy. In hindsight of everything that happened, she could see why she got caught in the spell too. With those thoughts, Willow finally began to drift off to sleep.

Willow strained to hear the conversation behind her door. She knew it was wrong but still, she couldn't help herself.

She could tell that it was Buffy and Riley. All she knew was that he helped Buffy defeat the Gentlemen and that he had a secret of his own.

"Want to try…….relationship……take it slow……..kiss you again……..please"

From the pieces of conversation she heard, Willow surmised that Buffy and Riley kissed, Riley wanted a relationship with her and Buffy wanted to but wanted to take it slow. Every word was like someone punching her in the gut. She couldn't take it anymore. Making sure she made plenty of noise with her keys, Willow walked into the room and over to her bed.

"Willow, hi." Riley grinned at her. "Well, I guess I should be going. Buffy, we'll talk again soon?" He gave her a hopeful look.

Willow woke up snuggled under the covers. She guessed her grandmother came in and pulled them over her at some point in her slumber. Restless and no longer tired, she got up, went to the bathroom and decided to call Giles. If Buffy was there then so be it.

"Giles, hi….I'm with my grandmother in Wyoming….yeah….I just wanted to wish you a happy holiday….hmm…yeah, I'm OK. Just woke up from a nap….really?…..I guess you'll have your hands full with those two. You take care too…I'll see you after break…Yes, I'll be back a week before classes start. Bye."

That was interesting. Buffy was staying with Giles for Christmas. It was pretty ironic actually. A happy little family unit flashed in Willow's mind. Xander digging in the cabinets for something to eat, Anya pouting at the lack of attention, Giles rubbing the bridge of his nose because Buffy and Spike were trading insults back and forth in front of the fireplace. Yes, one little demented, dysfunctional family complete with a slayer, an ex-watcher, a demon, a 200 plus year old vampire, a 1120 year old ex-demon turned teenager and Xander.

She found her by the window. Looking out on the snow, there was an expression of sadness on her face that made her look much older than her 18 years. She'd never be able to figure her granddaughter out. They say the eyes are the window to the soul. Willows eyes were empty from the moment she'd walked through the door. Something had happened to her granddaughter, something that took the fire out of her eyes, and Nana was determined to find out what it was.

"Why don't you come talk to me dear? The snow will still be there when we're done."

The older woman's voice shook Willow out of her trance. How long had she been standing there?

"Sure Nana. What's on your mind?" Willow walked over to the fireplace and put another log on the fire.

"That's exactly what I was thinking. What's on your mind? Something's happened to my granddaughter and I want to know what it is. Where has my Willow gone?"

"….so then I went back to his room, and all of his stuff was gone. He left me Nana. How could he do that? Devon said he sent for the rest of his stuff. He's settled down somewhere….else….that's not with me." She was crying again. The tears turned on and off in the past fours hours, now they were making an appearance once again. She had told her grandmother everything. EVERYTHING. Graduation, Veruca, werewolf boyfriend and slayer best friend. She'd began to confide in her when she was in high school, when the fluke happened with Xander. Now everything came spilling out, and she held nothing back.

She looked at her, sobbing in the firelight. Such things to go through for someone so young. So much weight on her shoulders, weight she shouldn't have to bear alone. But she didn't, did she? Buffy was always there by her side. But now she wasn't. Her granddaughter ran from the comfort of her friends back home and she still didn't understand why.

"Oh, my beautiful Willow. Such pain and heartache. I wish I could make it all go away. But I can't. You have to allow yourself to grieve. Grieve for your lost love, your lost innocence. Only then will you be able to pick your self off the ground and stand tall. There's no way around it. But, there is a way for it to be easier…."

Willow looked up from her hands. "What Nana? Anything…I-I'd do anything to feel better….anything."

"You have friends that love you. Why did you come here when you have so many people to fall back on at home?" Willow began to shake her head, but Nana continued . . ."You've confided in me, and to be a part of your life, to willingly make me a part of your life….I couldn't have received a better gift than that. But there are people more suited for the kind of comfort you're looking for. People like Mr. Giles, and Xander and Buffy. Why not sleep on it love, perhaps you'll see that the things you've run from are the things you need most." She got up and gave her granddaughter a hug and a kiss goodnight and left her to her thoughts. Willow followed soon after, crawled into bed and into sleep.

"Yes….Mr. Giles please……Mr. Giles? Yes, it's Margaret….Hmm, yes, it has been a long time…fine, fine…enjoying my retirement….Yes, I was sorry to hear that, we both know what they're missing…….Rupert, I need to ask a favor….It seems to me that we have something in common…or should I say someone…..Yes, it's very important, I wouldn't ask if it wasn't…..of course….I probably should have come to you sooner, I'm afraid it may have gotten out of hand…..Would you mind a little trip?…..I won't keep you long….no, only two days or so……really? Wonderful…I'll make the arrangements….no, no, don't be silly….the council can foot the bill for this one….I think they owe us both as much, don't you? Splendid….yes, one more thing….why don't you bring your slayer….yes…I realize she's not taking council orders…..it's important Rupert, I wouldn't ask if it wasn't….wonderful! Tomorrow then? OK, I'll make the arrangements and have the travel agent call you with the airline and times. Thank you Rupert, I owe you one."

She realized that she may be overstepping her bounds. But this was her granddaughter's happiness at stake! In all her years as a watcher, all the prophesies all the doom that was predicted, she was well prepared. The fate of the world rested on the slayer's shoulders, and when she steered her daughter and son-in-law towards Sunnydale to begin their life together, it wasn't by chance, it was by choice. She only prayed that her granddaughter would be able to hone and perfect the powers she had within her. The choice had been the right one, and her Willow and the slayer worked together. It couldn't have been any better had she written the prophesy herself. Now other forces threatened to take over, forces that were unpredicted or over-looked. Well, there would be none of that. Not while she was around.

"We'll only be gone for a few days, Buffy. Xander has already agreed to watch Spike, I'm sure that he's more than capable…."

"And who is this woman again? A retired watcher or something? Why does she want me to go? Reliving old prophesies is so not what I had in mind for winter break, Giles" Buffy rolled her eyes, but the look she got from Giles told her that there was no way to get out of it.

"Buffy, Margaret is a very respected member of the council. Yes she is retired, but she still holds their favor, and mine. She's done so many things for me in the past I cannot even begin to repay her. If she's summoned both of us, there is a good reason, I assure you."

"Tomorrow. Margaret has arranged for us to take a direct flight into Cheyenne and then a private plane…"

"Yes, I know, but this is business and I don't think we'll have time to search the entire state of Wyoming for Willow…" Giles saw the look on Buffy's face, like someone had punched her in the face and she stood there and took it. "If we have time, we'll look her up."

"Willow, you've been in this house for two days…...Why don't you go out and get some fresh air? Here, I'll give you some money and you can take a cab into town and go shopping, buy some gifts for your friends back home."

"I'd much rather stay here. I'm in the middle of something on my computer and I don't want to leave it…"

"You've been in the middle of your computer for two days, Willow, I'm sure what ever it is, it will keep. Come on now, get your jacket….or do I have to dress you myself?"

Willow knew she'd lost. She saved her document and put her computer on the bed. Grabbing her jacket and the envelope her grandmother gave her, she called for a cab and waited by the door.

"It'll be good for you to get out, dear. Look, the cab is here. I'll have dinner ready for you when you come back….now go…shoo!" With a kiss on her cheek, Willow was off to town.

An hour later, a black car pulled up the driveway. Giles and Buffy stepped out and the driver carried their bags to the door, where a woman stood to greet them.

"Rupert! Oh, it's so wonderful to see you again. You're still as handsome as ever. And this must be Buffy, I've heard so much about you dear….well, what are you waiting for? Come in, come in."

"Oh, please….call me Nana…everyone does. Now come on…I have tea on and I hear the water boiling."

"Yes, the thought had crossed my mind. You said we had something in common, someone…."

"Yes, well, I'll get to that. I've been retired for almost six years now. Retirement is such a bore you know." Giles nodded his head in agreement. She then turned her gaze to Buffy. "I was never an active watcher in the sense that Rupert was. I never had my own slayer. The council decided that I was better suited for books, prophesies and that sort of thing. It was quite mundane really. I was banished to the demon section of the card catalog more times than I can recall….."

"Hmm, prophesies…..we just love prophesies, don't we Giles?" Buffy gave him a look and they both smiled.

"There was one prophesy in particular that I researched, and the council saw it fit not to, shall we say, advertise the information."

"Yes well….I believe the year was 1979…" She got up and went to her bookcase. After some searching, she found what she'd been looking for. "I was researching hellmouths. Several of them had cropped up at once and the slayer at the time had quite an ordeal going from town to town trying to close them all…or at least inactivate them…"

"Quite right Rupert. You remember, very good. The path led straight to Los Angeles. That is where the last hellmouth opened and, unfortunately, the slayer met her demise."

They all took a moment, lost in their own separate thoughts. Giles and Buffy remembering the time Buffy had literally died trying to close the hellmouth.

"It's not a secret that most of the prophesies you and other watchers have dealt with have been predicted and researched by myself, along with a few others. I was given this duty because I am not only a watcher, I am a seer." Both sets of eyes were on her now.

"A seer? Well, yes…I suppose that would make the most sense, now wouldn't it? I always thought as much…." Giles trailed off.

"Yes, well, I came to find out that there was to be a slayer born. A slayer like no other we've ever seen. Her powers, combined with her intelligence and wit, would be like nothing we've ever seen before, or will see again. She would be THE Chosen One….the one to bring balance to the forces of good and evil. She is…"

"Buffy?" A little voice squeaked out from under an armful of packages. "Giles? What are you……Nana?…..Oh, man…." And with that, the petite redhead dropped her packages and fainted straight away.

"Get her and bring her in here. We'll put her in her room for now. Oh, dear…I told her to stay out until supper."

Giles tenderly tried to pick Willow up. The strain and awkwardness on his face apparent. He couldn't figure out how to pick her up without being invasive about it.

"Giles, let me." Buffy stepped in thankfully. She gathered her best friend in her arms and carried her into the bedroom. She placed her on the bed, careful not to jostle her.

"Hmm, well. Someone in common, I see." Giles directed the comment to no on in particular.

"Yes, well you see Rupert, Willow is my granddaughter. And my granddaughter has been more distressed in the past two days than I've ever seen in her in her short life. I'm afraid it has to do with the prophesy I was beginning to tell you about."

"Well, that makes sense. She's harnessed some real power in the past few years, but it's quite difficult at times for her to control it. If she has even the smallest amount of your power in her, then….." Giles added.

Buffy offered them both a smile as they walked out and shut the door. Her attention was then drawn to the now stirring form beside her. Willow. Their parting words back at the dorm were now pushing their way forward, as were other images……silky hair… the sunrise they shared…..her face in the moonlight…..her back as she walked out the door.

"Buffy……what are you…..where's Nana?" Willow reached up and rubbed the back of her head.

"She's in the other room with Giles." Buffy began to get up off the bed, "I'll go get her if you want…" Willow reached out and stopped her.

"Your grandmother and Giles apparently know each other….She called Giles and asked him if we'd come here….she said that we all had someone in common that she was concerned about."

"Oh…that would be me. I told Nana not to worry, she shouldn't have called you here."

"Oh yes I should have dear." The voice came from the now opened bedroom door. "There were a few things I had to discuss with Rupert….and I thought Buffy could keep you company. Seems to me like you needed it."

Buffy looked at the woman. Willow didn't know she was a watcher. That much was apparent by the expression on her face.

"I'll explain everything over dinner, Willow. For now, why don't you take Buffy downstairs to the den? Rupert and I aren't quite done yet."

Nana agreed and Willow got up and led Buffy downstairs to the den. After getting a few sodas, Buffy settled down on the couch and Willow sat in the overstuffed chair…at the other end of the room. They sat in awkward silence until Buffy decided to speak up.

Buffy shot her a look. "Why not, Will? What's going on with you? You are the last person I thought would run away from their problems. And this is my problem too…whatever it is…I don't even know if there is a problem….'cause you won't talk to me."

Willow sat there…studying her hands intently. She didn't know what to say, or how to say it. She was afraid that Buffy would never forgive her.

"I'm scared, Buffy……I can't….I don't want to lose you as my friend…I did something.. it was wrong….I just missed Oz so much……and I know you miss Angel….I can't do anything right….I did a spell…"

"It was a spell to have your true love reveal itself to you? A few devotions, some well placed motherwort….am I close?"

Two hours later, they were eating dessert and Nana was completing her story. "So I never told you I was a watcher, I thought it would be for the best. Especially since I knew how close I'd put you to the active slayer, on purpose. I sent your mother and father, newly married, to Sunnydale…and let fate take it's course at that point. I new the slayer was a long time coming, and so were you. Two years later, you were born. You had a little patch of red hair on your head, the mark of a natural witch in our family, and I knew the prophesy was coming true. Didn't you ever wonder why you looked more like me than your mother? It skips a generation, the power we possess."

She got up to refill her cup and left them to absorb all of the information she'd just given them.

"Buffy was born several months before you, in L.A, two years after the Hellmouth there had been closed. She wasn't chosen yet, as I remember it, she was called while she was a freshman in High School and the watcher…."

"Yes, good man he was. Now, the prophesy was this: A slayer would be born unto this world, a slayer like no other. She would bring balance to the forces of good and evil. She is, as we know now, Buffy. Don't get me wrong, I didn't know who Buffy was, I only knew she would be called late, without any formal training, and that she'd wind up in Sunnydale….just as a new Hellmouth was forming."

"Nana, how could you keep all of this from me? I told you everything about us…I always wondered why you believed me so easily…you never questioned me about the vampires or demons or the research I did for Giles…."

"It simply wasn't time yet, dear. And as to your next question, yes, your parents are well aware of what goes on in that town, and how involved you are. They knew since you were born that you were meant for bigger things than they could ever imagine. They're away at the most convenient times, aren't they?" She looked at her granddaughter and smiled a knowing smile. "When you two became friends, I couldn't have been happier. I thought the slayer would have a better chance at fulfilling the prophesy if she had a natural born witch as her sidekick…"

"Natural born…..Nana…you're a witch?" Willow had just picked up on what she was getting to.

"Yes dear, natural born. As I said, it skips a generation, which explains why your mother doesn't have any viable power. She has some….but it's not as fine tuned as ours is." She gave her granddaughter a chance to swallow this last bit of information. "In fulfillment of the prophesy, the slayer was to join forces with her true love, and together they were to close the Hellmouth for good."

"Angelus? Hmm…one would think so. When I had the Codex placed in his hands, he was supposed to deliver it immediately, yet he hesitated." She was looking at Buffy. "That hesitation cost you your life, literally." Her gaze shifted to Giles. "And your hesitation also. Not telling her came at a very high price. But, as for being your true love, only you can answer that Buffy. The Hellmouth is closed, yes…..but is it for good?"

"I can assure you, Margaret, we did everything we were supposed to. She faced the master, and she died. As far as we know, the Hellmouth hasn't seen any activity since."

"Then Angel wasn't her true love?" Willow spoke the words Buffy was afraid to form.

They were all lost in thought. Each reliving the time the Hellmouth opened and Buffy died at the hands of the master. After a few minutes, Nana cut the silence.

"What do you say we all retire for the evening? We can continue our talk tomorrow morning. I'm sure it'll keep." They all agreed. "Rupert, of course, can have the other spare room. I'm sure you two wouldn't mind staying in the same room." Before anyone could object, Nana went off to retrieve some extra blankets, taking Willow's hand in the process.

"I…well….Oz didn't come back…and neither did Angel…..I have a hard time with getting my spells right….and….well, they don't always go exactly as planned." Willow gave her an impish grin. "Just last week I made Giles blind and Xander a demon magnet." She gave a shrug of her shoulders.

Nana gave a little chuckle. "You'll get the hang of it dear. Practice makes perfect you know. As for your love spell…it was meant to have your true love reveal itself to you, wasn't it?" Willow shook her head in agreement. "Well, seems to me that you just need to look for a sign that it worked. As witches, we're always aware of nature and all the beauty it holds. A bird singing in a tree, a crashing ocean, a magnificent sunrise…."

"Yes, most times, you'll find that nature will answer your questions, but you have to have your ears open and be ready for the answer, even if it's the one you weren't quite expecting. Now go, off to bed with you….I'm sure your friend is quite exhausted from her trip." Nana kissed her good night and sent Willow on her way.

This was a lot of information for Willow to digest all at once. She made her way to her bedroom, unsure of what she was going to say to Buffy. She walked in and realized that the conversation would have to keep for now. The Slayer was fast asleep in bed. Silently, she walked over to where she was laying and sat down next to her.

They both looked at each other. It couldn't be, could it? Buffy could read her mind. This little trip to Nana's was getting more and more interesting.

"Buffy…you…you read my mind…I don't understand…..it takes years to….I've read about it but…."

"Well, this is certainly and interesting twist to our already twisted relationship." The words rolled off Buffy's tongue. She didn't even think about what she'd said before it was too late. "Oh, Will, I'm sorry, I didn't mean…."

"No, it's alright. I deserved it, I guess. I haven't exactly been Miss-fun-to-be-around."

"Don't be silly Buffy, of course I would have come back, I just needed time to" She saw the look of shock on Buffy's face, "…uh, yeah….I just read your mind and this is REALLY starting to freak me out!"

They didn't know what to do. Willow supposed that this had something to do with the prophesy, but what, she wasn't sure. "OK, there's only one way to approach this…"

"Ugh….this mind reading thing is gonna take a lot of getting used to. Let's research for a while and see where it takes us. It's only 11 o'clock. If we don't find anything by 12:30, I say we hit the sack and talk to Nana tomorrow."

"Why don't we skip the research and go straight to the source tomorrow, Will? I mean why spend hours trying to find something that your grandmother might already know about?"

"Just checking to see if you're on your toes." Buffy gave her an all too innocent smile. <This mind reading thing might not be such a bad thing after all…>

"Yes it is, Buffy. Don't you remember what happened the last time you were able to read minds? You almost went crazy…." Willow gave her a reprimanding look.

"Yeah, but on the plus side, I saved Jonathan. Besides, this is different. And if I go crazy, at least I'll have someone along for company."

Willow cocked her head to the side, trying to figure out what Buffy meant, but her mind wasn't giving any hints this time. "What?"

"Oh. You could always do that Buffy. Even when things were so bad with Oz…and Xander with the fluke….you managed to make me smile." Willow fell into a contemplative silence.

Willow squeezed her hand.

Buffy edged closer to her…slowly, tentatively. Not sure what her reaction would be.

"Ack, no…we can't…I mean..this is my grandmother's house, Buffy? Isn't it like illegal or something to have sex in your grandmother's house?"

"What I'm thinking about is probably illegal in at least thirteen states….does that mean you'd do it if we weren't in your grandmother's house, Will?"

"OK, I'll be good. On the premise that we're at your grandmothers house. Neutral territory. Now, if we were anywhere else…"

"Don't finish that thought." Willow put her finger on the slayer's lips. "I'm beat. Let's get some sleep and tackle the world saving stuff tomorrow."

"I'm kinda beat myself…OK, sleepy time! And if you steal the covers this time I'll….have to do something horribly wrong to you." They snuggled down into the bed.

~~It's not important. What's important is this: You know what to do. All you have to do is listen to your heart, and you'll know~~

~~But do you love her? Do you love her with everything you have to offer, and then more besides?~~

~~Then you know what to do, you know how to heal her and make her whole again.~~

~~That's nonsense. It's all there inside of you. You both made a good start, now you've been sidetracked. Break it down to basics. Show her--give her--everything.~~

~~But she deserves so much more. I feel like I just can't give her enough. Am I enough for her? Hello? Hello? Where'd you go?~~

"Wake up sleepy head." Willow was gently tugging on Buffy shirt, trying for the past ten minutes to get her up. "God, Buffy, you sleep like the dead. I'm glad I don't have to get you up for classes every morning."

"And you said I didn't sound human in the morning. Come on, get up. Nana made pancakes and left them in the microwave. She and Giles went out early this morning and left a note." The slayer wasn't budging. "Come on, Buffy….I'm starving!"

"All right, all right. Take it easy there, Red. Geez, you'd think I'd be able to sleep in on winter break at least." <You are way too chipper in the morning, Will>

"I'm not way too chipper, and it's noon. You've slept practically the whole day away. Now come on, or I'll eat all the pancakes myself." With that, Willow walked out the door.

Buffy hardly thought she was kidding. After a quick trip to the bathroom, Buffy padded her way into the kitchen. Willow's back was to her and she was pouring two mugs of coffee. Buffy snuck up behind her and wrapped her arms around the redhead's waist.

"Good afternoon you mean. Do you always sleep that sound? It took me ten minutes to get any kind of sound out of you." Willow glanced behind her. <God, she's thisclose.>

<You smell good.>"Yeah, mom swore she was gonna hire the school band to wake me up in the morning. I told her I'd just buy earmuffs."<I'd probably be more inclined to wake up every morning if I could wake up next to you…>

<It's true, Will. I think the last time I slept so well was about a week ago….>

"OK, how about some coffee?" Willow wiggled away from Buffy's grasp and set the two mugs on the kitchen table.

"Oooh, pancakes. Even better, grandmother pancakes. If these are anything like my grandmother's pancakes then you'd better dig in before I finish them all."

They ate breakfast in compatible silence. Except for the little scuffle over the day's comics, things went smoothly. The note Nana left said that she and Giles would be gone most of the day and would be back after supper. She left some money and advised the girls to order out and then maybe rent some movies. Buffy hadn't finished eating yet, so Willow excused herself and went back to her room to change.

<This is nuts. There has to be some sort of law or something against it. I can't stop thinking about her.> Willow was almost dressed when she felt two hands creep up along her sides. "Buffy….what are you doing?" She was beginning to get nervous.

"I was only gone for two days." She saw Buffy frown in the mirror. "I missed you too. I'm sorry I ran out like that."

<You know your cute when you babble.> "I understand Will. We all need a breather sometimes." Buffy smiled at her.

Both of her hands rested on Willow's stomach. She squeezed a little tighter, rubbing just above her belly button with her thumbs. She saw Willow's eyes close and felt her breathing become irregular. Lightly, she kissed her shoulder, then the nape of her neck. Her breathing increased also. <You feel so good.>

<So do you.> "Buffy, we can't. Neutral territory, remember?" She gave the blond a wide-eyed look in the mirror.

"Your grandmother and Giles are out….more than likely for the rest of the day and half the night doing…watchery things. Technically…"

Buffy got a hopeful look in her eyes then chuckled. "Man, talk about thoughts and actions contradicting."

Buffy turned her around so that they were facing each other. "I want to help you Will. But I don't want to be the source of your inner turmoil. Am I?"

"OK, then. Let me know when you're done so I can change too." Buffy retreated for the door and reached for the knob.

She turned around, only to come face to face with Willow. "How did you….?" Buffy gave her a questioning look.

"Yeah, well….I'm not THAT bad of a witch…" The comment was followed by her patented Willow-smile.

"Yes, I'm sure your not a bad witch. More of a good witch, like Glinda." Buffy began to move away, only to be trapped by two hands placed firmly on the door. "Will, if you insist on looking at me like that you'd better have something to back it up with. There's no guarantee I can control myself much lonmrunph…."

Willow broke the sentence with a kiss. It was a tentative, not-sure-what-I'm-doing kiss. Light, lingering, soft. All of a sudden, Buffy's world consisted of kissing Willow, and becoming good at it. This was a great start. Buffy pulled her closer, to close the gap between them.. Willow gasped a little and Buffy took it as an invitation to deepen the kiss. Both of her hands went to the redhead's face, cupping it gently. Willow's hands lingered down to Buffy's sides, feeling her soft skin before wrapping her arms around the slayer's waist. Before long, they found themselves on the floor, Buffy straddling her lover, her fingers intertwined in red hair, soft, velvety red hair. They slowed the kissing, each not wanting to stop…both knowing they had to.

<God, I thought I'd never be able to do this again….> Kiss. <Me either, I missed you so much….> Kiss, kiss <Don't leave me again, Will….I couldn't take it….> Kiss "I just had some stuff I needed to work out. Things got all jumbley….and I didn't know how to handle them."

"Like….things with Tara?" Buffy was propped up on one elbow now, her right hand resting on Willows stomach.

"That….and Riley." Willow looked away and found a fascinating piece of fuzz on the carpet.

"No, to both. I don't want to nor would I. I think I've finally found what I've been looking for……here." Buffy leaned down again and planted a light kiss on Willow's nose.

"Hmm…this mind reading thing could turn out to be a problem. Don't you think it's a little…well…invasive." Willow posed the question.

"Yes, but we've both managed to effectively block the other out when we really wanted to. I just think it's something that's going to take some getting used to, that's all."

Willow scrunched up her nose. "Buffy…I was scared….I….." <You don't understand.>

"I do Will, I'm sorry if that was harsh….I was only joking." She leaned down and put her head on Willow's shoulder.

"It's just that…..when Oz left it was like….like I was split down the center and half of me was lost….I…..I never thought it could hurt so much…..I don't know if I could do that to myself again….to risk the hurt…..to love…" <again…..like that>

<Yeah> "I'm sorry he left you. And I'm sorry I couldn't stop it….stop you from hurting….stop you from having to see them together in the crypt, but if you're gonna feel better, then…"

"I have to let him go. I know, Buffy." Willow shifted away and sat up to face her. "How did you do it? Get over Angel, I mean."

"Come on Will, we all remember that one. I ran. I ran until I couldn't run anymore. I couldn't face it…..I couldn't face you guys. I felt like I'd failed." Buffy's face was stoic, she wasn't revealing any kind of expression. "But, I got over it. Actually, I came back to Sunnydale and got over it. That's when it started to feel better - the emptiness inside. It was because of you….everyone else helped too…but it was you, Will. You didn't leave my side. And I got through." She smiled. "Let me in, Will. Let me help you."

They sat there facing each other. Willow decided to try something she'd read on the internet. She put on her concentration face and focused on reaching out to Buffy mentally. She imagined her hand going out and tugging on the invisible string that was linking them together.

<Wow…I read about it being done but….I touched you…mentally. That was cool.>

Willow nodded her head in agreement. "Just concentrate on doing it and you will. It's not that hard."

Buffy reached out, seeking to follow the link into Willow's mind. Images flashed in front of her and she had to close her eyes to try and catch them all. Grave markers….grass…it was dark out….trees….a large stone building…..Willow's hand reaching out and grabbing the door….she had something in her hands….down the stairs…bars…Oz and Veruca…naked….the bag and thermos dropped and Oz jumped up….

" I know what you saw. It wasn't…" Finishes putting on his pants. "I had to. I had to lock her in there with me."

"Well, I knew you two had a lot in common, but..."Oz tries to touch her. "Don't touch me!" She jerks back.

"But you did. You could've told somebody. Your solution... Just put you two together in a room all night?"

"I knew, you jerk. And you sat there, and you told me everything was fine?" She was crying now. "And that's as bad as... As…."

"Because I thought that was behind us. And you know, what happened with Xander, it doesn't compare. Not with what you and I had. Not with whatever you've been doing with her."

"I don't know what Veruca and I have done. When I change, it's like, it's like I'm gone and the wolf takes over."

"But before this, when you were regular Oz, you had feelings for her, didn't you?"

"But you wanted her... Like in an animal way? Like...More than you wanted me?" She runs off crying….

Buffy opened her eyes….the tears streaming silently down her face. She felt it…felt everything Willow felt when she found Oz….the love in her heart as she opened the crypt…the shock at seeing him there naked with Veruca…the pain when she thought he was comparing it to Xander…..she felt all of it.

"Yeah…..it was pretty intense." Tears welled up in her eyes and threatened to spill over.

"I felt….God, I felt it all. Everything you were feeling…it's like…it's like I was you. Like it was happening to me…."

"I see you girls have been doing some research while we were gone." Nana was standing in the doorway.

"Nana…" Willow squeaked out. She got up from the floor and ran over to her. Nana enveloped her in her arms. She was sobbing now. Nana just stood there, holding her, smoothing her hair making grandmother comfort noises. Giles stood a few steps behind, taking in the scene before him. He took off his glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose and looked over at Buffy as if to say 'are you alright?' Buffy gave him a smile, got up and walked over to him, leaving Nana and Willow alone. They walked down the hallway to the kitchen. Automatically, Buffy put some water on for tea.

"She's broken, Giles. And I don't know how to fix her." Buffy let out the breath she wasn't aware of holding.

"Buffy, I'm afraid it has to do with a lot more than Oz. The prophesy Margaret was speaking of last night…well, Willow is an integral part of it. It's her destiny, I'm afraid, and yours."

"Margaret and I went to visit an old friend of the council's. He's a shapeshifting demon that's worked with the council since it's very early days. As a watcher in training, I actually studied with him extensively. This demon is the keeper of all the older, more fragile texts. It's amazing really, some of them are actually written on cured animal skin in a language that's long since forgotten, if I had the time…."

"Giles…the prophesy?" Buffy could see his tangent was headed into the realm of Watcher-Giles and his love of books.

"Yes, well….more specifically, he keeps watch over the older prophesies that haven't come to pass yet….the prophesies that were predicted over a millennia ago. This is, as it turns out, one of those prophesies. The research Margaret did pinpointed the slayer to bring the balance, but the prophesy was written sometime in the year 876 by a man named Myrddin. He lived in what was then a Cymric borderland near the Solway Firth in Europe. This is where the council first began to take shape. Myrddin was, by all rights, the first Watcher." Giles could see Buffy's eyes begin to glaze over.

"If you translate the name Myrddin from it's traditional Latin you get, quite specifically, Merlin."

Buffy perked up. "Merlin? As in King Arthur, Knights of the Roundtable and Excalibur Merlin?"

"Yes, quite right……You see, he predicted that Gwenevere would betray Arthur and have an affair, but Arthur didn't listen and married her anyway. Arthur's brother found her and Sir Lancelot in the King's bedchambers and made the affair public knowledge, there in sealing the fate of Gwenevere and Sir Lancelot. He called for her to be burned at the stake for adultery. Anyway, those events seem to shadow the events that now must come to pass. Had Arthur listened to Merlin, he would have never married Gwenevere, she would have never had an affair that led to a war and consequently Arthur never would have been mortally wounded in that war. The prophesy we face is this: You are to come against a great demon, possibly Arthur reincarnate himself. In order to win the battle, you must face down the demon working along side your soul mate and equal. This is to be a person of great value when the battle commences. We are headed into a mystical convergence and the demon is coming to seek revenge on the friend that betrayed him and the love he lost. In essence, Margaret and I think that Arthur is coming to fight Sir Lancelot to the death. A sort of re-creation of what was supposed to be had he not been mortally wounded in battle."

"Yes, yes she was. Merlin alluded to as much when he cautioned Arthur against marrying her. The prophesy is to be fulfilled exactly 1123 years after the death of Arthur, on the night of the full moon. Before the dawn of a new Millennia."

"But Giles, that's…..that's…wait a second…..1123 plus 876…carry the 1…."

"The night of the full moon is two day's before Christmas. A week from today to be exact."

"Quite right, Rupert. Looks like you have your work cut out for you." Nana and Willow were standing in the doorway. "This is as far as I go on this journey, I'm afraid. I'm old and would only be a hindrance. I've filled Willow in on the prophesy and she is, as always, going to help Buffy in any way she can. Now, what do you say we leave this alone for tonight, Hmm? It's still early and I think we could all use some fun." They all agreed and decided to go out to dinner and a movie. The rest of the night was uneventful and they all turned in early.

"Morning, Giles." Willow walked into the kitchen where Giles was reading the morning paper and having tea.

"I did not. You're the cover hog missy. I woke up in the middle of the night and I thought my toes were gonna break off from frost-bite!" Buffy joined them in the kitchen.

"As much as I'd love to bear witness to your silent battle of wills, I believe we have more pressing matters ahead of us. We need to leave this afternoon and meet with Myrddin. He met us at a little bed and breakfast just outside of town yesterday, but today we will be traveling to his estate."

"Yes, well. I took the liberty of getting you both passports. We should be there by nightfall if all goes according to plan."

"Canada, Medicine Hat to be exact. We'll take a private plane this afternoon and land at Myrddin's chalet around dinner time."

"I assure you Buffy, it's a real place." Giles looked at her through the top of his glasses.

They arrived at the chalet before seven. Giles, Buffy and Willow stood at the doors of an old magnificent castle.

"Ooh, Giles…I forgot my computer…be right back!" Willow ran off back to the car.

"Welcome, Ripper. I trust your journey was a good one." An old man with a white beard stood before them. Dressed in a sort of royal blue gown, he gave the appearance of Merlin himself.

Myrddin extended his hand and Buffy took it. As soon as she touched him, she felt a sort of energy course through her. "The pleasure is mine, dear."

"Nice to meet you." She stared at him, wide-eyed like a deer caught in headlights.

"The courage in this one is strong, Ripper. Strong indeed. She is the one we've waited for." He let go of Buffy's hand. "Please, come in. I'm sure your young friend will find her way."

He led them through the foyer. It was decorated in old, worn tapestries depicting the adventures of the Knights of the Roundtable. Each one telling a story. Buffy lingered a bit, awed by the beauty the offered. They rounded a corridor and entered what had to be the biggest library either of them had ever seen. There were books from floor to ceiling. Some parchments lay on the table in the far corner and scrolls could be seen poking out of one of the highest shelves. They were both awed at the sight.

"Please, come in. You may browse of course when we are through. I'm sure my collection is one that you've never quiet laid your eyes on before….or will again."

After the three of them settled in at the table, Myrddin began to speak. "Now, the prophesy at hand. Arthur is to come and try to win back the love he lost all those years ago. But, I am afraid, it was a love that was not mean to be. Lancelot and Gwenevere were soul mates….destined to be together." He looked up. "Dear, God….it can't be."

Willow had walked in, her laptop case swung over her shoulder. She raised her hand and gave a little wave. "Hi…I, uh…forgot my computer in the car…..sorry." With an impish grin, she walked over to join them.

Myrddin seemed to be in a trance. His eyes followed her as she walked over to the table and took a seat next to Buffy.

After a few moments, he spoke. "Hmm, yes. I just….it's uncanny." He continued to stare at Willow and she started to squirm under his gaze.

"Ripper, would you follow me please. I must show you something. Please excuse us ladies…it will only take a moment."

Myrddin led Giles over to one of the bookcases and instructed him to retrieve a book. He got it and handed it to Myrddin. Laying it down on a table, he began to flip through the pages until he came to what he was looking for. Pointing at something on the page, Giles leaned over and looked. He straightened up again, took off his glasses and cleaned them, and leaned in again. He and Myrddin exchanged a few words then looked over to where Buffy and Willow were sitting.

Buff finally cracked. "What? Giles, you're driving us nuts! Why are you two looking at Willow like she's gonna sprout wings and fly away or something? What's the sitch?"

The two men walked back over to where the girls were sitting. Myrddin began to explain. "You see, Buffy, the slayer was, from the beginning of time, suppose to be male. He would be the chosen one to fight the darkness and the forces of evil. In the early days, the council even began training males. That's where you get most of your dragon slaying lore from these days. But on a fluke I'm afraid, the slayer's essence was transferred to a woman at her birth. Her father's kin had been dragon slayers. And so began the legend of the slayer….female form, of course."

"Yes, well. It has to do also with soul mates, you see. Legend leads us to believe that the soul in each of us is only one part of a whole. We spend our entire lives searching for the other half, we cannot be complete until then. Several Western Religions believe that when we die, it is not forever. They believe that the soul is reincarnated, and we are destined to live many lives until we learn all the lessons life has to teach us. Unseen forces are at work in us…forces I couldn't even begin to explain…and it is those forces which draw us towards our soul mates. As part of the council, I have studied this theory endlessly and I have come to find a pattern. There are two souls in particular that keep making the journey. Simply put, they can't seem to get it quite right. Each life in turn, they are fated to love each other, and each time they do, an outside force bears down on them, thus dooming their love and sometimes costing them their lives."

"Yes, yes….that was one reincarnation. Then we have Cleopatra and Mark Antony, Anna Leonowens and King Mongkut of Siam…"

"Yes. Then we come to Sir Lancelot and Gwenevere. Had it all gone according to plan, Arthur was to marry someone else and die of old age. Having never been able to produce children, Sir Lancelot's child with Gwenevere, was to succeed the throne by Arthur's passing. Thus creating a new line of royalty….and with myself as tutor and mage, bring about the balance of good and evil." He paused to allow them to digest all the information.

"This not happening of course, set the two souls in motion again. We don't see any accounts of male slayers because the council simply chose to ignore it. Sir Lancelot was a slayer….a slayer of dragons. Having been banished from the kingdom, he set his course for a monetary and died there of old age. But not before impregnating a village woman. And there we have the first recorded slayer, buy council accounts anyway."

He crossed the room and retrieved the book he and Giles had been looking at earlier. "Modern storytellers would have us believe that Sir Lancelot was a man with long flowing black hair and a beard, and Gwenevere a small but striking blonde. This, however, is not the case. Sir Lancelot was fair skinned and blonde and Gwenevere, well…look for yourself." He lifted the book and turned it to them. There on the page was a beautiful woman, and an equally beautiful man. You could tell she had a striking figure, even through the garments she wore…..along her shoulders lay a mane of silky red hair…..and her eyes were a piercing green.

"Yes, child, I'm afraid it is. Gwenevere was a redhead….the mark of a witch in those days, and these I'll assume. She stripped her hair of it's color with natural bleaching agents. All the portraits you see of her will show you as much….but I had this drawing done before she met Arthur. She was betrothed to the Heir apparent, and in order for him to fully accept her, he father thought she should get rid of the red hair. Towns people were very superstitious in those days."

"Yes…yes she does. As I said, it's quiet uncanny." Myrddin paused. "I believe that we've had enough of a history lesson for tonight. Why don't we retire for the evening? I'm sure you're all quite exhausted from the trip. There are bedchambers on the second floor. You may all chose which one you wish to stay in, of course. My room is just down the hall if you need anything. Goodnight." With that, he disappeared through the door.

"Yes, well….come along." Giles snapped them out of their thoughts. "Myrddin is quite right. I'm exhausted, and if we're going to accomplish anything tomorrow, I'd say a good night's rest is in order."

Silently, they followed Giles to the second floor. Having chosen the room closest to the stairs, he said good night to the girls and went into his room.

"Yeah….I don't feel like being alone….this place, as beautiful as it is…it's creeping me out."

Buffy let out a thankful sigh and they chose the room at the other end of the hall. After some exploring, they found the bathroom and got ready for bed. For an old castle, it had every modern convenience. After setting the alarm, Willow left the radio on for some background noise. Both of them crawled in, the night's discussion still playing over in their minds.

"You OK, Will?" Buffy asked after some time. Her friend hadn't said a word since they entered the room.

"Yeah…it's just, weird…..that picture I mean…I felt like I was looking in a mirror."

"I know, I saw it too. So this is what your grandmother meant by you being an important part of the prophesy."

"I guess so…but what was all that stuff about soul mates?….he sure did jump around a lot in the story….I couldn't quite follow exactly what he was talking about a few times…"

"Well, you don't think that….I mean he couldn't be…..was he talking about us?" Buffy offered the last part barely above a whisper. Afraid to form the words she'd been thinking about the whole time.

"No…no way. It's crazy…I mean, we're not even in any kind of relationship." Willow's hand flew up, wishing she'd engage her brain before her mouth sometimes.

"Oh. I see." Buffy's face was all the confirmation she needed to know that she'd struck her. Hard.

"Don't worry about it Will, it's fine." She rolled over and presented Willow with her back.

"I don't think before I speak sometimes, Buffy….you know that….I didn't mean to hurt your feelings…."

Buffy rolled over and looked at her friend. "Seem to me that I've been the one to do most of the begging around here. I've had to beg you to talk to me, beg you to let me help you….I've even begged you to kiss me. Is it ever not going to be an uphill struggle with you?" Tears began to well in her eyes. "God, Will….I tried everything to get you to stay and not go to your grandmothers….I even told you I loved you and what did you do? You walked out the door! Well, I'm done….understand? I can't do this anymore…can't play games with you…can't try and predict your moods or be careful of what I say so as not to hurt YOUR feelings. Well, I have feelings too you know." Again she rolled over and faced the door.

Both of them laid there for sometime. Each lost in their own thoughts and regrets. Tears streamed silently down each of their faces, not knowing what to do next. A song began to play on the radio:

/ / / We were all wounded in some domestic war / I found you to settle my score / You look like father you felt like mother / My mind told my heart there is no other / And I gave you my soul / And every ounce of control / And I gave you my skin / And my original sin / And I gave you my pride and my side oh my pride / Ain't that enough? / I turned your dreams into lightening / Ain't that enough? / I held the world back for you / Ain't that enough? / I loved you past the point of dying / Ain't that enough of me for you? / / /

<Buffy…I'm sorry…please talk to me.> Nothing…not even movement <Buffy, come on….I told you I was scared> Still nothing.

/ / / Ain't that enough? / I turned your dreams into lightening / Ain't that enough? / I held the world back for you / Ain't that enough? / I loved you past the point of dying / Ain't that enough of me for you? / / /

The words of the song began to permeate Willow's consciousness. She settled down somewhat and began to hear them for what they were. Suddenly, she felt like if she didn't do something to fix this now….it would all slip away from her. Slowly, she reached out in the dark for Buffy's shoulder…..and was shrugged away.

<No, Will…not this time…..I've given you enough of me……I've tried so hard…..> Apparently, the song had invaded Buffy's mind too.

"God, Buffy, I can't take this mind reading thing. I need to hear your voice. Won't you talk to me, please?"

After some time, Willow could protest no longer. She and Buffy both fell into a deep sleep, the effects of their conversation reaching out and touching them deeply.

<Oh, God, Oh, God, Oh, God……what have I done?> "Giles! GILES! Come quick!" Willow screamed out in the early hours of dawn.

He heard her, and was up the stairs two at a time. "Willow….what is it, what's….Dear, God…what's happened."

The scene before him was this: Willow was kneeling at the bedside, holding Buffy's hand. Ordinary in every way, except that Buffy was stark white…her eyes shadowed deep within her face….her hand lifeless in Willow's. Giles walked over to the bed.

"What's happened, Willow? How has this happened.?" He couldn't believe his eyes.

A voice, barely above a whisper, spoke from the door. "She tried to sever the link"

"Your slayer, Ripper…she tried to sever the link that binds them…..whatever happened in this room last night, she must have felt it was her only choice." He stood there for a moment, taking in the scene before him before he turned his conversation to Willow. "You have a bond between you, a link to each other's minds. I alluded to as much last night, but apparently, one of you was unable to accept it, and the other has suffered the consequence…..you ARE soul mates, that is a fact…..and meant to fight Arthur together, side by side."

There was no denying it now….no way to talk or reason her way out of it. The implications hit her like a ton of bricks. What had she done? Had she been so harsh last night that she drove Buffy to do something so drastic that the price might very well be her life?

"No child, it wasn't just last night. I'm afraid it the entire situation. The girl must have felt for a very long time that she wasn't good enough for you in order to damage the link the way she has."

"Myrddin, you needn't make her feel bad. The situation is dire enough already." Giles jumped in to defend her.

"Quite right Ripper, but it is the truth of the situation. I can tell you this, young one, there is only one way to fix this…one way to rectify the situation…..and you know what it is….you just have to look deep enough inside yourself." He paused for a moment and let out a sigh. "Come, Ripper….we have research to do……and your two girls here have a long uphill battle ahead of them."

Giles looked at Willow again. With sadness and resignation in his eyes, he followed the old demon out of the room.

A protest began to form on her lips, but she knew it wouldn't do her any good. She'd done this, and she'd have to fix it. Myrddin was right….the problem was that she didn't know where to begin.

Being, of course, Willow, she made her way over to her bags and fished out her computer. For the next hour, she researched everything she could on telepathic and psychic links between people. She would have eventually figured out all of the information she found, it was all quite logical…but right now she was running on pure emotion.

<So in order to repair the link, I have to get into her mind and see with MY mind's eye the damage and fix it….kind of like rebuilding a brick wall.> "Well, that doesn't seem too difficult." She had no idea.

"We can't just leave them up there…I need to do something, I feel quite useless, Myrddin." Giles was protesting for the umpteenth time.

"I understand, Rupert….I really do. But the damage is done. You would only prove to be a distraction to her. There is nothing we can do but wait." The words came out in a sympathetic tone, mean to soothe, but all they did was strike more fear in the watcher's heart. "If the girl lives up to all the expectations you have of her, it shouldn't take too long. She's very smart." Giles could do nothing but agree.

Willow had been arranging the room to suite her needs. Pulling the curtains closed, she pulled out all the red and black candles she'd brought, red to signify love and black for protection. She figured it couldn't hurt. She also set up a censer and her own personal mix of incense was burning in it. Carefully so as not to disturb her, Willow got into bed with Buffy and gathered her into her arms.

When she was sufficiently comfortable, she closed her eyes and began to visualize the task before her. Slowly, the link came into focus. It wasn't severed on the outside, so she'd have to get inside Buffy's head deeper. Carefully, she reached out and touched it, and sent a reverberation through both of them. <Have to be careful with that….don't want Buffy to feel like she drank a slurpee again.> Guided by intuition, she followed the link as far as she could….she literally dove into the recesses of her mind….and hit a wall. <What the……> She shook off the feeling and began to really look around. Opening her mind's eye, she saw before her a large wall, literally. And the link went right through it. <This is going to be a lot harder than I thought.> Thinking she could go through it, Willow began to feel around, checking the solidity of it. <Solid as rock…..now what do I do?> Her hand was resting on the wall. <Oh, Buffy…why won't you let me in? I care for you so much…you're my best friend.> Just then, the wall began to change. Almost immediately it went from solid to an almost Jell-O consistency….then right before her eyes, it disappeared and the link fell just above the ground. <Cool.>

She followed the link for sometime….she wasn't sure how much time had passed or how many corners she turned. She came upon a large dark corridor. Afraid of falling, she reached out and felt for the wall next to her. Before her eyes, a bright white light formed and she quickly pulled her hand away. <That was weird.> She noticed figures in the light before she pulled her hand away, so she decided to try again. Cautiously, she reached her hand out and placed only two feather-light fingers on the wall. A scene began to form before her……

<<< Buffy raises her sword to dispatch Angelus, but stays herself when he suddenly gasps loudly and groans in pain. She sees his eyes glow bright red for an instant and go back dark. He looks up at her, but quickly collapses to the floor, crying. Buffy stares down at him, but still holds her sword raised behind her. Angel raises himself back up, his eyes heavy with tears, and looks into her eyes.

She just looks at him, confused but not yet ready to lower the sword. He looks around a bit and gets to his feet.

Finally Buffy realizes that the curse has worked, and she slowly lowers her sword.

"You're hurt." He looks at her wound and embraces her tightly. "Oh, Buffy... God." She still isn't completely sure that it's true, but accepts the hug. "I... I feel like I haven't seen you in months." Finally she accepts it, closes her eyes and breathes out a deep sigh. "Oh, my God, everything's so muddled. I..."He holds her even more closely.

She cries into his shoulder and hugs him back. Behind him Acathla lets out a low rumble. Buffy opens her eyes and stares in shock as Acathla's face contorts. His brows angle down, his eyes glow red, his mouth opens grotesquely and the swirling vortex to Hell opens, small at first, but growing steadily in size and emanating a deep, red glow. Buffy lets go of Angel and looks up into his face.

She brushes her fingers over his lips and across his cheek. She lays her hand on his cheek and kisses him softly. He returns the kiss, and it becomes more passionate. Behind them the vortex has grown to about five feet across and continues to get larger. Buffy breaks off the kiss and looks deeply into Angel's eyes. "I love you."

She nods reassuringly, and he closes his eyes. She tries hard not to start crying, and kisses him again gently. She steps back, draws back her sword and thrusts it into his chest. His eyes whip open in surprise and pain, and a bright light emanates from the sword. She steps away from him. He reaches out to her and looks down at the sword thrust completely through him. He looks at her imploringly, completely bewildered by this turn of events. She can only stare at the sword protruding from his chest, and slowly steps further back.

Behind him the power of the sword begins to swirl into the vortex. Buffy steps further back, still looking only at the sword in his chest and not into his face. The vortex has enlarged to about twelve feet across, and the two energies begin to interact. Angel still holds out his hand to Buffy. When the vortex finally meets him it suddenly closes into Acathla's mouth without so much as a spark, taking him with it. Buffy stares at the stone demon for a long moment, a light of awareness dawning in her eyes as she truly realizes what she has done, what she as lost.>>>

Willow's hand jerks back, as if in pain. <Oh, God Buffy…I didn't know….it's was Angel….not Angelus.> Tears form in her eyes. Just then the corridor lit up to a brilliant purple and Willow had to shade her eyes. As quickly as it came, it subsided and she could see the link trailing through the darkness in front of her.

Gathering her composure, she began her journey again….the image of Angel being sucked into Acathla dancing on the edges of her mind. After what seemed like forever, she came upon a large hall. In the middle was a large dark mass, suspended in the air, and that's where she saw the link end. She got closer to it and realized that this is where the link had been formed….bound directly to her soul. But something was wrong…upon closer inspection, she realized that the link had been attached to the soul by a thread…and the other pieces of it were dangling precariously, sort of like a frayed string.

<Oh, Buffy…you've almost completely cut it.> She reached out to touch it, only to reconsider, remembering the reverberations she'd felt earlier. <If I can't touch it, I can't fix it…now what?> She fell to her knees, worn out by all that had taken place. The tears began to resurface again….witness to all that had happened.

"Buffy…I need you here…I-I'm sorry I hurt you. You know…after everything I've seen I realize that I can't do this alone..I need you by my side.." She took in a much needed deep breath. "Remember when Angelus held me at the school…I knew you'd come, I knew you'd save me…..I knew you wouldn't let me down…..you've been my link to the outside world…being friends with you has brought me out of my shell…made me come into my own. It wasn't Xander…or Oz….Buffy it was you, and if I lose you now, I'll lose a part of myself." She wrapped her arms around her self, sure of the words, but not sure how to form them. "You were right, you know. You have given me enough of you…now it's time I gave something in return…no more fear, no more questioning myself and my feelings…my feelings for you…It's been on the edge of my mind for so long it's become as automatic as breathing….and I took it for granted and you." She sniffled a little, trying hard to hold herself together. "Buffy, I love you…I love you with all that I have…because you showed me…you taught me how to do it…not to love the man or the woman…but the person inside…the soul."

Suddenly, there was a great tremor…..Willow scrambled to her feet and reached back for the wall, afraid to lose her footing. Instead of the wall, she felt a hand and saw a glimmer of blonde hair before everything went to brilliant white, and then black again.

She wasn't sure how long she'd been laying there. Slowly, she became aware of each part of her body, and her arms wrapped around a slender figure. Cautiously, she peered down at the girl next to her and was met with a lopsided grin.

"Don't cry, Will. I think we've done enough of that to last us a very long time. Don't you?" She smiled at her again.

"I know, Will…but it doesn't matter now. I heard you, you know….every word..it was like I was on the edge of a cliff, and it was your voice that kept me from taking another step."

"Don't leave me again, Buffy…please…." She was crying openly now…her body becoming wracked with sobs.

"Shh….OK…I won't…..Don't cry, Will…..I love you too." <More than you know.>

"The link…..it works….that mean I fixed it!…..Yay me!" Willow gave her a little squeeze.

"As much as I'd love to celebrate you're victory, Will….I think I'm kinda hungry."

She gave a little shrug. "Sorry….can't help myself." She planted a tender kiss on Buffy's lips. "Come on…let's go get something to eat…..I wonder how long we've been up here…." Both girls got out of bed and made their way downstairs, arm in arm.

"I'm afraid it's not, Buffy. You've been up there for five days. It was all I could do not to come up there and see what was going on." He looked at her with concern. "Are you sure you're alright? You both must still be very weak."

"For the last time, Giles, we're fine. But this only leaves us with three days before the prophesy begins." Will looked at him with a mix of reassurance and concern.

"Yes, yes indeed. We have a lot of work ahead of us, and little time to prepare." Myrddin was standing behind Giles. "I suggest we get started right away if you're all up to it." The three of them nodded in agreement. "Very well then. Ripper, I'm sure you find the training room sufficient to your needs….you've already set everything up for when Buffy was ready?"

"Yes, quite sufficient I must say. All the modern and archaic weapons I can think of. It'll be a pleasure training with such a supply."

"Good, then Willow and I will be in the tower training." Without another word, he ushered Willow out of the room and up the stairs, and Giles led Buffy down to the basement.

"Come on…you can do it…I know you have it in you. You just have to harness the power…"

"You must try to effectively block my attacks with the magic you posses inside of you. Come on now…try again."

For what was probably the tenth time, Myrddin attacked her and she tried to deflect. Suddenly, Buffy appeared before her and Myrddin was aiming a ball of light in her direction.

"Oh no you don't!" Willow pulled her hands together as if to catch the ball and successfully deflected it, sending careening into a wall where it made a nice big black mark. Then Buffy disappeared. "What the?" Willow shook her head as if to get rid of the cobwebs.

"It was an illusion Willow…Buffy wasn't really standing there. But, the illusion worked, and you successfully deflected the energy ball. Well done." Myrddin gave her a congratulatory look.

<Go me….yeah, I'm bad!> She stood there with a self satisfied look on her face.

-------------- Buffy was battling one of the many demons that had manifested itself in the basement. She was effectively blocking all the punches and defending herself, but she wasn't on the offensive. Suddenly, Willow appeared at the other side of the room and looked around in confusion. Buffy looked over to her and the demon followed her gaze. Immediately he was bearing down on Willow.

The demon didn't listen and was upon Willow almost instantly. Buffy ran over and jumped on his back, pounding into him with the mallet she held in her hand.

Now drawing it's attention to the leach on it's back, the demon swung around and backed into a wall, smashing Buffy into it. She recovered quickly and with a well placed roundhouse kick, she sent the demon flying to the other side of the room. Not wasting any time, she grabbed a nearby sword and cut it's head off in one felt swoop. The demon melted away into the cracks of the floor and, you guessed it, Willow disappeared.

"What? Where'd she go? Will?" Buffy turned around in a circle, not sure what to do next.

"Yes, well…I believe that's what Myrddin meant by incentive." Giles pointed out to her. "It was an illusion, Buffy….incentive to put you on the defensive." He smiled at her.

"Oh, I see…..hey, that was sneaky, Giles." She furrowed her brow and gave him her best reprimanding look.

"I can assure you I had nothing to do with it." He removed his glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose, chuckling softly to himself.

Their training commenced much in the same way over the course of the next three days. Each learning and perfecting new techniques. Willow becoming a sort of expert in magical healing, deflection, energy ball formation and so on. Buffy becoming a master of the sword, scathe, crossbow, ball and chain, and perfecting her staking technique with stakes as small as three inches long up to three feet across. They had been so apt, there was still a full day left before the demon's awakening.

"Well, there really isn't anything left to teach either of you. I suggest you pack your things and prepare for the journey ahead." Both Willow and Buffy gave Myrddin a questioning look. "You will meet the demon on the active Hellmouth." He said in a-matter-of-fact way.

They both looked at Giles and he guiltily looked out the window. "Yes, well." He straightened up and removed his glasses to clean them. "Shall we?"