(kacoe@nac.net)

Disclaimer: I am a gnat in the world that is the Joss (Hey! Watch it
with that fly swatter). All characters belong to him and Mutant Enemy.
I'm only borrowing the characters. I promise to put them back when I'm
done, a little more angsty perhaps, but none worse for wear. This is
for fun and non-profit.
Summary: Rumors abound on the USC campus. How will Buffy and Willow
handle their peers thoughts on just what kind of relationship they have
behind closed doors.
Spoilers: Anything up to and including 'Wild at Heart' is fair game.
Distribution: Just drop me a line and it's yours to archive *eg*
Author's Notes: Feedback = Food. Story probably still has to be
beta'd, any volunteers would be appreciated. Thoughts are enclosed in < >

Buffy made her way down the path that led to the cafeteria. She was to
meet Willow there for lunch. So much had been going on in their lives
lately that they just didn't seem to have time for each other anymore.
You'd think with both Oz and Angel gone and both girls living together
that they'd see each other more often then not. Buffy's slayer duties
kept her out most nights past 1am and Willow picked up an extra computer
course at night to fill the void Oz left. Now it was Friday, both of
them had finished their classes for the day and lunch was going to be
the beginning of a 'girls weekend'.

Weaving her way through the crowd, Buffy found a table for two over in
the corner. She noticed Larry sitting with some of his friends a few
feet from her. They smiled at each other and left it at that. After a
few minutes, Buffy got antsy waiting for Willow..she was never this
late. She got up and walked over to Larry's table.

"Hi Larry. How's it going?"

"Buffy! Long time no see. How's everything with you."

"Good. It's, of the good. Listen, I was supposed to meet Will here
after her last class but she hasn't shown up yet. Have you seen her at
all today?"

"Yeah, I had a 10:00 with her this morning. She didn't mention anything
though."

"Are you talking about Willow Rosenberg?" A blond boy from Larry's
group asked.

"Um, yeah. You know her?"

"I just had Psych. with her. Some guy in the class went over to talk to
her afterwards and she took off. Looked like he really got to her about
something." The blond reported, rather happily, to the dismay of the
slayer.

Buffy looked at Larry then the boy. "Listen, um..what's your name?"

"Chris. Chris Madison."

"OK. Chris. I really need to know where she is. Do you have any idea
where she took off to?" Buffy's voice was shaken with concern.

Chris smirked and glanced at Larry. "Nope. I know nothing."

"Why do I get the feeling that you know a lot more than you're letting
on." She approached his side of the table. "Listen, Willow is my best
friend and if something's happened to her, and you know about it..let's
just say you don't want to see me angry. It's definitely not a pretty
site."

Larry tried to corral the situation. "Buffy, take it easy. I'm sure
she'll show up sooner or later. There's no reason to get all heated up
over this."

Just then, Chris started to laugh. That was it, Buffy had just about
enough of his games.

"Listen carefully, Chris," She put her hand on his shoulder, "If you
don't tell me," She squeezed her hand, "what's going on," squeeze
"you're going to regret" squeeze "ever introducing yourself," squeeze
"to me."

The discomfort on his face was quite evident. "Fine, fine! God, let
go.you've got some grip there. She ran into the bathroom. Second floor
of the psych. department. Man, Jeff was right about you two."

Larry got up and moved closer to Buffy, "Why don't you go look for her
Buff."

"No. What's that supposed to mean. Right about what?" The
tension in the room was at an all time high. Some students that sat on
the fringes of the little group quieted down an were listening intently.

"Jeff was the one that went up to her after class. He wanted to ask her
out on a date tonight. Just about everyone knows Oz and his band.
Since Oz left, he thought she might be a free agent. She turned him
down cold. She made some excuse about having a girls night with you and
that she wasn't quite ready to date yet. He said something else to her
and she just looked at him and took off. I asked him what happened and,
well, he told me he thinks she's playin for the other team now." Chris
began to study the table intently.

Larry suddenly took great notice of the cafeteria floor, like it was the
most amazing thing he'd ever seen.

Buffy turned to him. "Did you know about this?"

He sighed. "I was passing through the hall looking for Chris. Willow
ran by me, practically knocked me over. I didn't know what was said."
He looked at Buffy, hoping she wasn't gonna drag him into it.

"Fine. I'm gonna go look for her." She looked at Chris. "Don't think
I'm done with you yet. Or your buddy Jeff." Then she turned to Larry,
"And you. You of all people should know better
Mr.-Gay-jock-and-proud-of-it. Since when did you become so insensitive
to other people's feelings?"

Larry looked straight at her, "I didn't think there was anything to be
sensitive about, Buffy. Unless of course it's true and there is
something going on."

The shock on her face was evident. "No. There isn't anything 'going
on' between Willow and I. We're best friends, we look out for each
other. God, why does a close friendship between girls register as 'not
quite right' with guys. I swear sometimes."

They didn't here the end of her comment. She was out of the cafeteria
and on her way to the psych. building. <Men! I can't believe they'd
think that. Willow and I, it's just..ridiculous!> She cut across the
bike path and made her way to the psych. building. <Why now, of all
times, does this campus seem to be the biggest one on the west coast.>

She walked into the building and made her way up the stairs to the
second floor. <Great. Six corridors, three bathrooms.> The first two
bathrooms were bust. As she rounded the corner to the third and final
one she collided with someone. Both losing their balance, they fell to
the floor, limbs everywhere.

"Hey watch where your.." Buffy looked up and saw Willow sitting in
front of her. "Will! Where were you? I got worried when you didn't
come to the cafeteria and."

"I'm fine Buffy, really. Something came up after class and I was just
on my way to the cafeteria to meet you now." Willow smiled, but Buffy
could see that she was not herself. Her eyes were puffy and bloodshot
and her nose was red, too.

"Will, you're not fine. You've been crying." Buffy put her hand on
Willows, "What happened?"

Willow pulled her hand away and looked around the hall, "It's nothing.
Really, I'm fine Buffy. Just big time Oz missage I guess."

Buffy got up and put her hand out to help Willow. She visibly ignored
it and put her hand on the wall to get up. They both dusted themselves
off and straightened their clothes. They were no worse for wear really.

An uncomfortable silence fell between them. Buffy spoke first, "So,
lunch?"

"No. I-I'm just gonna go now. I have studying to do. For.class."
Willow responded.

"But Will, It's Friday, remember? No evil classes until Monday. We're
supposed to have girls night tonight. I told Giles I was going to
patrol early so we could rent some movies, pop popcorn, paint our
toes.."

"No, I'm not up to it tonight. I think I'm gonna go home this weekend.
Remind my parents that they still have a daughter. I think they get
back from their conference around six."

Buffy couldn't take it anymore. "Funny thing. Well not funny, ha ha,
but..I saw Larry in the cafeteria today."

"Really? That's nice. How is he." Willow was thankful for the change
in conversation.

"He's good. He was sitting with a bunch of his friends. He said he saw
you today. Actually, he said you almost ran him over after your psych.
class." She looked at Willow to gauge her reaction.

Willow shrugged. "That was him? Oh, well..." She shrugged again.

"Yeah, anyway I met a friend of his, Chris Madison." Willow looked up
at Buffy and turned her face away. She knew what was coming next.

"Chris is in your psych. class." It wasn't a question. Buffy knew from
Willow's body language that she knew what she was leading up to.
"Anyway Chris is friends with.."

"Jeff." Willow answered. "Yeah. So?" Her voice was barely audible.

"Yeah, so? Is that all you can say, Will? What happened with Jeff?
What did he say to you to get you so upset? Come on Willow, talk to me
here. This is Buffy, Buffy to Willow, come in Willow.."

"Willow shook her head. "It's nothing. He asked me out, I said no, end
of story. Really.that's where the story ends..no more story..I told him
I wasn't over Oz leaving...'cause, I'm not over it..he only left two
weeks ago..and that's it.he was mad but he understood.Jeff, I mean.not
Oz.how could Oz be mad, I mean..all I did was kiss Xander.He slept with
Veruca..twice..so that's it." Willow was in full tilt babble mode.

Buffy shook her head. <Not good. No, not good at all> "Will, I know
how you feel."

"No, Buffy. That's the thing." She turned to face the slayer, "you
don't know how I feel, no one does. Angel left for LA to give you both
a new start. Oz left for god-knows-where because he cheated on me.
There's a big difference."

"That's not what I meant, Will." Buffy looked at her. <It's now or
never> "I know that..that Jeff said something to you..to make you
upset.Chris told me..he said something.about us." There, it was out in
the open.

Students began to pour out of the classrooms.

"Oh.Oh, no..no, I can't.Buffy.I don't, I mean..we don't.but he
didn't.and he said.." Willow stuttered her way through an explanation,
but she couldn't seem to get it out. Tears threatened to fall and she
turned away from Buffy, not able to face her, or the conversation that
was sure to follow. "I can't talk about this..not now.I have to go.I
just.I can't.you don't know how...I-I'm..sorry."

Before Buffy could get a word in edgewise, Willow took off in the throng
of students and effectively gave the slayer the slip. <Damn. How'd she
do that? You're only supposed to use your powers for good, Will.>
Buffy spent the next hour searching for her friend. The Library, Oz's
old room, the computer lab, their room twice, the cafeteria, the TV room
in their building, and just about every ladies room on campus. Willow
was no where to be found. It was getting close to six and Buffy's
stomach reminded her that she hadn't eaten since this morning since her
lunch date with Willow was a bust.

The only thing that was open near the school was a pizza place a few
blocks down. Buffy made her way there, ordered a slice and a soda, and
looked around the place. In the corner, next to the bathroom, she saw a
flash of red hair through the crowd. <Willow.> She took her tray, paid
for the food, and made her way over to the booth. "Will, is that you?"

The girl turned around, clearly NOT Willow, "Excuse me?"

"Oh, sorry, I thought you were..a friend of mine." Buffy replied.

"Buffy?"

The slayer turned around to find Willow standing in front of her.
"Will? Where have you been, I was worried."

"I had some stuff to work through, so I went home. My parents left a
message saying that they'd be gone another week or so. I was hungry so
I came here." She gave a little shrug.

"Would you sit with me? We never did get to eat lunch. Dinner is just
as good, right?" Buffy posed the question to her, hopeful that the
hacker would accept.

"Sure, why not."

They ate in semi-comfortable silence. All the while, Buffy wondering
what had gotten into her friend, and what Jeff said, to make her so
upset. She had her ideas, though. When the 'Evil Willow' from another
world made her appearance, she made it known that she was definitely
from an alternate, alternate reality. Angel made some comment about the
darker side of a vampire being the person's sub conscience, but they all
quickly dismissed it. Now, Buffy couldn't help but wonder about the
validity of the statement. Dominatrix Willow? 'Kinda gay' Willow?
They were foreign concepts to her, but she wondered how much thought her
friend had put into Angel's musings. Suddenly, something, or rather
someone, broke her train of thought.

"Ladies! I see you've finally found each other. How are you doing
Willow. All better now?" Larry sidled up to their table.

"Fine Larry, thanks." She gave him a lopsided smile. Buffy just
glared.

"Good, glad to hear it. Listen, don't listen to anything Jeff says,
OK? He's not the most reliable or decent specimen of the male species.
He can be a real jerk sometimes and he doesn't take rejection very
well. Don't put too much stock into anything he says, or does for that
matter. He gives us good guys a bad name." Larry beamed a smile at
her, hoping to lift her spirits.

"Thanks, Larry. You're an OK guy, you know?" Willow smiled back at
him. Buffy was quite relieved to see her somber attitude soften a bit.

"I know, I know, that's what all the guys say...see you both later."
With that he disappeared as quickly as he showed up.

"Feel better?" Buffy gave a questioning look to Willow.

"Strangely, yes. Larry's right. Guys can get really mean when they
don't get their way. Men. Harrumph." Willow gave Buffy a genuine
smile.

"I'm glad your better, Will. How about we finish up here, you go on a
quick sweep with me, and we get some movies? Just you and me, it'll be
fun."

Willow considered, then agreed. They finished their pizza and made
their way to the campus. "I thought we were gonna do a sweep?" She
asked the slayer.

"Yeah, Giles suggested that we sweep the campus. That way we'd be
closer to home and wouldn't be out too late. The cemetery can wait till
tomorrow night." Buffy replied.

The patrol was uneventful. That is until they happened to cross over to
the bike path on the way to their dorm. Two vamps came out of no where,
ambushing them both.

"Buffy, look out!" Just as she dusted the first vamp, Buffy looked up
to see the other one coming at her with a tree branch. He swung, she
ducked and pulled his legs out from under him.

"Strike one! Care to try for another?" She yelled in his direction.

He got up, madder than before, and they started trading punches. She
kicked him into the bulletin board, it flying into pieces everywhere.
She tried a round house kick and missed. This gave the vamp the
opportunity to grab her and send her flying, shoulder first, into a
nearby tree. Dazed, she tried to shake it off but he was at her again
almost immediately. Just as he was about to grab her off the ground, he
exploded into a cloud of dust in front of her About 5 feet from where
Buffy sat, she could see Willow crouched behind the park bench. One of
the seat boards was obviously missing.

Willow quickly made her way over to the slayer, "Are you OK, Buffy? Are
you hurt?"

"I'm fine, Will, but how did you.?" The confused look on her face made
Willow chuckle a little.

"The seat was loose. I didn't want to get too close, so I did my
floating pencil trick, without the pencil of course." She put her hand
out to help the slayer to her feet.

"Will, you could have been hurt. Are you OK, I mean. Wow, you saved me
Will, that was.I didn't know your powers were that strong."

"I didn't save you, I helped. Like any good slayerette should. And my
powers aren't that strong. I've just been practicing with bigger things
than pencils lately, that's all." She dismissed Buffy's comment with a
wave of her hand.

"Man, I must be really off my game tonight. I have to pay better
attention, I could have gotten both of us killed. I'm sorry Willow,
I.." Buffy reached out to her and visibly flinched when she moved her
shoulder.

"Don't be." Willow caught the flinch from the brave little slayer,
"Your hurt, did you hurt your shoulder?" A look of concern washed over
her face.

"I'm fine really, no more bruised than usual." Buffy scrunched up her
face.

"You flinched.a-and scrunched.flinching and scrunching don't go in the
'I'm OK' column if you ask me. Come on, lets get back to the room so I
can take a look at the damage." With that both girls headed off to the
dorm.

Willow unlocked the door to their room. She made her way over to her
bed, after fighting with a few dust bunnies, she pulled out a first aid
kit.

"Will, really, I'm fine." Buffy protested. But Willow would have none
of it.

"Just let me look at you. Take off your shirt." Almost immediately,
Willow regretted her response. The events of the day dancing on the
fringes of her mind. "I mean, so I can look at you.I mean to see if
your shoulder's OK.if it's bruised.."

"It's OK, Will. I knew what you meant." Buffy tried to put on her
best comfort-face. She began to unbutton her shirt and flinched again.

"You are really hurt, aren't you?"

"I guess I hit harder than I thought. Damn vamps. Why can't they just
stay worm food." Ungracefully, even for a slayer, Buffy flopped down on
her bed, closed her eyes and gave a heavy sigh.

A minute or two past. Why she did it, what possessed her, she wasn't
quite sure. Even with every bone and muscle in her body screaming NO,
and her brain screaming even louder, Willow walked over to Buffy, knelt
down in front of her, and began unbuttoning her blouse.

Buffy froze. Every muscle in her body tightened. She peered down in
front of her, to see her best friend before her, undressing her.
<gulp. No.no gulp. This is Willow for Gods sakes. Not some stranger.
No gulping.this isn't a situation that merits gulping.>

Willow finished unbuttoning her blouse and moved around Buffy to kneel
on her bed. Carefully, she peeled back the material and came face to
face with a very large bruise with small gashes surrounding it. "See, I
told you that you were really hurt. You have little cuts all over your
shoulder and you're turning different colors."

"Great, just call me Rainbow Buffy, distant cousin of Rainbow Brite."
She managed a smile and Willow joined suite.

As carefully as possible, Willow cleaned the wound and put a bandage
over it. "You're all set. A little battered, mind you, and the iodine
makes you smell funny, but better." She came around to sit next to
Buffy.

"Not only did you save me you also make quite the nursemaid Will,
thanks." Buffy smiled at her.

"Come on Buffy, I didn't save you. I helped, like I said before. I'll
always help you. I'm not only research girl you know, I've got
layers." Willow made a face. "Ugh, I think I just channeled Cordelia.
I don't know where that came from." They both had a much needed laugh.

They sat in compatible silence for a while, then Buffy was the first to
speak. "Well, the night's not a total waste, right? I mean it's only 8
o'clock, we can grab a movie and some popcorn still, I mean, that is if
you still want to." She looked over at her best friend, hoping for a
yes.

"Um, sure. Why not. You need to rest anyway." Willow offered.

"Yeah, don't worry about it, I'll be practically healed in the
morning. Slayer-super-healing and all that." Buffy smiled, glad to have
the old Willow back.

KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK.

"Now who could that be?" Buffy wondered. She got up to answer the
door. Standing there was a tall, dark-haired, well build guy. "Yeah?
Can I help you?"

"Jeff" Willow offered behind the slayer.

"Can I speak to you, alone?" He asked beyond Buffy, totally ignoring
her question.

"I don't think we've met. Hi, I'm Buffy," Anger seethed from every
fiber. <So this was Jeff. Mean, nasty, made-Willow-cry-Jeff.>

"Buffy. This is Jeff. He's, uh...in my psych class.he's
here..(looking at Jeff)..you're here..why are you here?" Classic
Willow.

"Listen, I wanted to talk to you, about this afternoon. Preferably
without an audience. Can we, I mean, go somewhere?" Jeff looked in her
direction.

Willow was torn. She didn't know what to do. Talk to Jeff, and risk
having to spill everything to Buffy...or..well..stay here and have to
spill everything sooner.

"I don't think that's a good.." Buffy began

Willow cut her off, "No, Buffy, it's OK. (looking at Jeff) We can
talk, in the lounge." Willow gave her a look of reassurance. The last
thing Buffy remembered was the door closing.

<Unbelievable! How could she just go off with him like that? After
what he said and did to her.> Buffy was lost in thought. It had been
about ten minutes since Willow left, but it felt like ten hours. She
paced, and straightened, then paced some more. Finally she couldn't
take it anymore and decided to take some action. <That's it, I have to
see what's going on.>

Making her way, quietly, to the lounge, Buffy crouched behind a sofa.
It was a good thing no one was around right now, she'd have some serious
explaining to do. She could see Jeff and Willow standing at the far end
of the lounge, but she couldn't hear anything. She poked her head out,
to see what was going on. It all went so fast. Jeff, putting his hand
on her shoulder, her shrugging it off, his hands flailing in front of
him, Willow shaking her head violently, he went for her shoulder and
turned her around, she was..she was crying. <Damn it! That's it...no
more talking>

"Hey, get your hands off of her!" Buffy stood up, knocking over a
potted plant in the process.

They both jumped at the sound of the slayer's voice. "Buffy, what are
you doing here?" Willow asked.

"This doesn't concern you. Why don't you go away and let Willow and I
finish talking?" Jeff spoke through his teeth, hoping to scare off the
smaller girl.

Willow didn't know what to say. She wanted to get away from Jeff, away
from all the mean and hurtful things he'd said. She stood there,
looking out the window, overwhelmed by the knowledge of two very
piercing eyes upon her. Somewhere inside her, a little voice came
through. "Leave."

Immediately, Jeff turned to her then to Buffy, "Hear that Blondie? She
said."

"Jeff. Leave. Leave me alone and don't come back." He was shocked.
He began to say something, but she interrupted. "No, don't say another
word. Just leave. Get out."

"But Willow." He protested.

"Get out!" She screamed.

<Go, Will, you tell him!> On the inside, Buffy was elated. She saw
the confusion on Jeff's face. He began to reach for her, but withdrew.
Silently he walked out the door. Willow and Buffy were left standing
there, alone.

Buffy walked up behind her. She could see their reflections playing
against the glass. In the dark of night, she could see Willows
shoulders begin to shake, tears making their presence once again.

"Will, I." She didn't know what to say.

"I let him get to me. Oz, I mean...not Jeff. As much as I'd love to
blame him for this, I can't. Not entirely, anyway." She sniffled and
wrapped her arms more tightly around herself. "He's.he was the drummer
in Veruca's band. I didn't recognize him at first, but then I
remembered. That night at the Bronze, when Giles showed up...I remember
noticing him..noticing me. I forgot about it." Sniffle. "He's...Oz
was all that Veruca would talk about during their practices. Jeff took
great pleasure in telling me that. They met for lunch a few times..Oz
and...her." Sniffle. "He told her that...that I was off doing stuff with
my friends, with you. She thought I was neglecting him..can you believe
it? He never said anything..Jeff blames me, for Veruca dying. He
said...h-he said that if I'd kept m-my boyfriend satisfied.then..then he
wouldn't have...he..." Sniffle..sniffle.whimper "Oh God, Buffy..I made
him...I pushed him towards her..I.forced...neglected him.." She
couldn't go on. The sobs were wracking her body, she was leaning
against the window now..she looked like her knees would buckle any
minute. Then they did.

"Oh, Willow." It was all Buffy could squeak out before she saw her
friend slide down the wall to the ground. In two seconds she was at her
side, Willow crying softly into Buffy's shirt. Gathering up all of her
slayer strength, she lifted Willow off the ground and carried her back
to their room. She carefully laid her on the bed and went over to the
desk to get a box of tissues. This was going to be one long night.

Willow was weeping softly into her pillow. Buffy was beside herself,
she just didn't know what to do. After a few minutes, Willow calmed
down and looked over at her friend.

"Ugh..I must look a mess." Buffy handed her a tissue. "Thanks.
Before you say anything, I know it's not my fault..Oz leaving..him
sleeping with..her." She couldn't bring herself to say Veruca's name.
"I just.I let Jeff push my buttons.that's all. I shouldn't have let him
get to me like that...with everything he said..." Willow blew her nose
a few times. Buffy could see that there was more to this situation than
met the eye.

"Will. You hardly know him. How could he know how to push your
buttons? I don't understand how he got you so upset. And this
afternoon. I know he said something to you, something that made you so
upset that you'd run away from me..Please, Will.talk to me. Let me know
how I can help..Let me know what I can do..Please..I hate seeing you
like this." Buffy was at a loss.

"You." Willow whispered.

"What?" Buffy could barely make out what she was saying.

"You.he talked about you. He said that if I wasn't careful, that
people would start saying things about us. Things..like..more than what
they were saying now..h-he said..he saw us a few times..walking
together...holding hands..h-he told me t-that...that people on campus
were..were talking about us..like we're...a couple...that..it's why Oz
left...because he couldn't..he didn't want to...be.with
someone...like..THAT" The tears threatened again. Willow tried to
blink them away, but it was no use. "He said he..he'd make it go
away..t-that they'd stop talking...if I went out with him...He almost
had me convinced...then you came in...and...well."

Buffy watched as a million different emotions played on her friends
face. Fear, anger, agitation, hate. All of it because of some nasty
rumors people started. Then she saw the tears slip from her beautiful
green eyes..eyes that were very much like hers. Older and wiser than
eyes anyone their age had any right to have. It saddened her.made her
angry..Mad at Jeff for doing this to her, at Oz for leaving..at herself
for, well, for everything.

"It scares me." It was barely a whisper, but Buffy had heard it.

Will, there's nothing to be scared of. Who cares what they say.they
don't know anything about us, anything about."

"No. That's not what I meant...I meant...what I meant to say
was..living here, you get kind of used to all the hellmouthy things..but
human emotion, base-crude-end-all-be-all-intentional
hurt..well..sometimes, I feel like I'd take the demons over the people
any day..and I get so scared about..you go patrolling..you get all
banged up almost every night..you could..God, you could die, Buffy..I
couldn't.I wouldn't know how...It would kill me too...if anything
ever...ever happened to you. And it scares me...but.sometimes, not as
much as."She didn't finish, she couldn't. She wasn't ready for it.
Wasn't ready for it all to come bubbling to the surface. The thoughts,
the innuendo's, the feelings.it was all too much to bear at once.

"It scares me too, Will. More than I can say...I just don't have the
words for all the fear I have inside sometimes." Buffy's eyes
threatened to spill over. "It's like..When my mom gets a shipment in the
Gallery..and she pulls out these paintings and ornaments and pottery and
stuff...she could let other people handle the unpacking.but she doesn't
because she wants to be responsible for it...like she has a duty to
protect what ever is in those boxes..and that's how I feel..sometimes."

"You thing I'm like a box of dusty art?" Willow was quite confused.
"Buffy, you're not responsible for me. I'm responsible for me and my
actions."

"That's not what I meant, Will. Angel explained it to me once..Love
and friendship go hand in hand...and when you give someone
that.it's.it's as if your giving them a piece of yourself..like handing
them an old vase or painting...or your prized possession..and when you
hand it over.it's like your saying 'here, this is for you. It's
priceless really, but I trust you enough to give it to you.' And if you
break it..like if my mother breaks a piece of art.then it can be fixed,
but it'll never be the same..you know..it's a big responsibility to love
someone, and I get that. I think we get that. Will, if anything ever
happened to you. I don't know what I'd do.."

"Nothing's happened Buffy, really. I'm just on overload right now.
Jeff talked to Oz. He called Jeff to see if he knew how I was doing.
Why couldn't he call me himself? Are we so far past the point of no
return that I might not ever talk to him again? Jeff..well, the things
he said were mean..and..they're not true..so we shouldn't worry about
them, right?" Willow wasn't sure if she said it to comfort herself or
Buffy, or maybe even both.

"Willow, what Jeff said.I mean about us..is that.is that the stuff that
scares you? Because if it is..then we could.I mean.we could lay off the
friendliness for a while...if it makes you..if your scared that.."
Buffy's eyes won out and spilled over with tears. She couldn't believe
she was having this conversation with Willow. Willow! If it scared
her, if she was uncomfortable then it was up to Buffy to put things
right. "I mean, it'll be hard at first.but I could
find...somewhere...I'll call tomorrow..a single maybe.."

The last part registered with Willow and caught her off guard. "Buffy,
no. You wouldn't leave me, would you? You can't go.who would I...I
don't want to..you want to move out?...God, first Oz...now..you can't
go.." Willow was almost beside herself. Her eyes were wide with fear,
and pride be damned she was crying openly now at the thought of loosing
her best friend.

"If you want me to, I'll go..you're uncomfortable..I can't..I mean...I
did this.." Buffy didn't get to finish her sentence..Willow pulled her
into a crushing hug, afraid that she'd walk out the door right that
moment.

"Ok, Will..OK..I won't go, not unless you want me to" Buffy wrapped
her arms around the redhead, sobbing and shaken at the prospect of
leaving her alone.

"You can't go..I need..oh, Buffy...I can't let you..I don't know what
I'd do without you..You're my best friend, my confidante my...you can't
go.I don't want you to." That was all Willow managed to get out between
sobs.

"Will, I want to tell you something that I've never told anyone
before." Willow looked up and shook her head yes in response. "When
Angel..Angelus went after you, he said something to me afterwards,
something that didn't make a whole lot of sense until now." Buffy
paused. She didn't know how to do this, she didn't know how to say what
had been on the fringes of her mind for almost 2 years now. "He went
after you, and he put you in the hospital..he went after you because he
knew you were one of the only people he could go through to get to me."
She paused and choked up. Grabbing a box of tissues, she blew her nose,
tried to compose herself and continued. "I went crazy when I found out
you were in the hospital. It was because of me. Angel used you against
me because he knew...he knew how valuable you were.to everyone..and
especially to me...not as old reliable Willow, or research girl, or the
resident hacker, or dozens of other labels the gang and I have managed
to slap on you over the past four years...valuable as my best friend
Willow, my sounding board Willow, my strength and courage Willow. I
don't know what I'd do without you in my life. And it scares me..chills
me down to the core to even have a fleeting thought of what I'd do if
you weren't in my life.." The tears won out again. Buffy's face fell
into her hands and she cried..cried like she couldn't remember every
crying before.

Willow sat there, dumbfounded. She couldn't believe what she just
heard, didn't want to believe it. She couldn't, wouldn't, give into all
the feelings dwelling deep inside. Buffy loved her. She had just about
said everything she could but that. Overwhelmed, she looked at the
slayer there on her bed, so vulnerable, so shaken. She reached out and
touched her shoulder. It was enough. Buffy bent to her touch and
placed her head in Willows lap while Willow rubbed her back. She
glanced over to the clock. <11 o'clock and all's not well>

After a few minutes, Willow shifted her position so she'd be more
comfortable. She laid down across the bed and Buffy followed suite.
Willow gathered the slayer in her arms and continued to rub her back
reassuringly. They remained like that for a long time until they both
drifted off to sleep.