FIC: These Roads We Travel (1/?)

[~~Kimber <kacoe@xxxxxxx>]

TITLE: These Roads We Travel (1/?)
AUTHOR: Kimber (kacoe@xxxxxxx)
DISCLAIMER: All BTVS characters belong to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy.
SUMMARY: The long awaited next story in "The Road Series".
SPOILERS: Everything is fair game.
DISTRIBUTION: The usual suspects. Anyone else, e-mail me please.
AUTHORS NOTES: This comes because I've had so many great responses to the series and
many people begging for another. Be careful what you wish for.

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Shes just. . .amazing. Every time I see her and catch a glimpse of that red hair and
those fiery green eyes, it reminds me. . .of what I lost.

Shes sleeping now. And here I am again like most nights, watching over her. Keeping her
safe and sound. The nightmares still wont go away. She wakes in a cold sweat every
night screaming my name, screaming her name. . and theres nothing I can do about it. No
way to ease the pain or even make it disappear.

Im trapped in my own hell too, though having lived for so long, I can deal with it, push
it down, swallow the words. The words that want to leap from my throat almost every
minute of every hour of every day Ive spent without her by my side.

Shes stirring again and I place the washcloth on her forehead and touch her cheek and
stroke her crimson hair. Just as Ive done every night for the past six months. Does it
ever get any easier? Is there ever going to be a time when shell sleep through the night
again? Feel safe again? Smile again?

I sigh and go to the window. Dawn is approaching. The sun is beginning to break through
the inky darkness and I close my eyes, realizing that its today. *The* day is today. One
day at a time. Thats what everyone keeps telling me, but that only makes me keep count
of all the days leading up to this day. . .and all the hours in between.

I loved. . .correction *love* her.. With everything I am, everything I feel and know, and
some things I still dont understand. . I love her and live for her. Thats the only
thing that keeps me going, even now.

Shes whimpering in her sleep again, and I rush to her side knowing full well whats to
come. She struggles harder, more violently, and all I can do is sit back and wait.

She sits bolt upright in the bed, clutching the blankets. Mom, no!! She looks around
and sees me and drops her head in embarrassment. Will it ever end? She mumbles.

I reach out and touch her cheek with my hand. Slowly she raises her head and looks at me
with that lopsided smile I know all too well. She kisses the palm of my hand and traces
some of the old scars there on my arm. I smile because the look on her face is as if
shes committing each wound to memory and plotting vengeance for them. Her green eyes
lock on my own hazel ones and she scrunches her eyebrows in concentration.

Its today. You know. . .*the* day. Well, of course you know, how could you forget I
mean not that you're forgetful or anything, dont get me wrong but, you know, it could
have slipped your mind or something not that youd ever forget about-

I cut her babble off with the tip of my finger. I know.

She smiles sadly. Itll never get easier, will it?

It may with time. I push some hair away from her face. And with each other. I get
up knowing that shes not going to put up with the bonding session much longer. As I
reach for the door she stops me. Hey, Buff?

Yes, Laurel? I turn and try to give her a brave smile.

I know. . how much you love her still and, as much as I miss her, I know you miss her
more and it hurts you more and you cry sometimes when you think Im not watching. And if
you need me to, you know. . talk or whatever

I know. I nod and smile at her. Its a little easier with you here. You remind me of
her and you look like her and even babble like her. We both laugh at that. And I love
you in a way that I cant even explain. I shrug at a loss for words.

She gives me a perplexed look. So it doesnt hurt you? With me being around? Cause I
know how much I look like her and I would think that it bothered you and

Never, Laurel. You have the face of the one person who brought me happiness  the face
of your mother  how could that ever bother me? I smile again and reach for the door
before I have a total mental breakdown. Get dressed, Ill make breakfast. Uncle Xander
will be here around nine.

"He's up before noon?"

I chuckled. "Laurel. You know how he gets. What he does is very important and"

"I know, Buff. I'll be nice to him. Promise."



(well? what do you think? Should I continue? *insert evil laughter here*)

--
Your humble bard,
~~Kimber

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