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To: Director of Public Safety
Subject: Request for the use of the Hole
Bot
Mam, since the Riley-shaped Fungus demon has been
sighted in the daylight, and doesn't seem any longer contained within Gutter
Sector 74, I request the use of the Hole Bot, to seek and close any loopholes
from where the Riley-shaped Fungus demon could have escaped from.
Furthermore I request the approve of the immediate
and painful death of the Riley-shaped Fungus demon, for it has annoyed me long
enough now, and the recent attack against our loyal member, and the resulting
danger in which his pet is, has shown that we can no longer tolerate any actions
from this hideous beast.
For this case, I suggest we get out our medieval
weaponry, and use the flails and axes that we have to hurt the Riley-shaped
Fungus demon a lot before we finish it off with an injection or our newly
developed anti-fungus bacteria. I've been told that the bacteria will first
disable all movement of the target by severing all nerves to the muscles, but
not those from the muscles, which will ensure that it still feels the full load
of pain, and then slowly, from the tips of every nerve ending to the cell, will
eat it up from the inside.
I suggest that everybody brings a pair of ear plugs
to the scream concert the Riley-shaped Fungus demon will present in it's last
few hours. I'm sure this should be a pleasant show, and I hope that we can get
enough Gutter members together to enjoy the final decease of this annoying
being.
Regards
Quin
Chief of Security of the Senior Executive Committee of List Gutter
Affairs
and Wet Noodle Master of the
Universe |