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To: Chief of Security
You are hereby authorized to use the Hole Bot and the experimental electro-plasma blade and cheese grader to obtain the fungus sample needed to cure the attack lawyer Bo-Bo. However the E-P Bladeis not authorized for any covert breaking and entering of the Initiative strong hold under the campus of UC-Sunndale in hopes of recovering the misplaced Diablo2 cd allegedly stolen by meathead, the former commando boy known as Forrest Gates, the return of the cd will be handled by List’s highly trained Recovery and Return Squad.
As for the Riley-shaped Fungus Demon scream concert, the necessary earplugs and videotape equipment will be made available to all list members at the office of public relations and garden club. As for the use of medieval weapons and equipment in the traditional torture/interrogation session of the Riley-shaped fungus demon, I do not see a problem using such weapons as long as the rackis thoroughly hosed down and disinfected afterward.
Shadow -- Director of Public Safety of the Senior Executive Committee on List Gutter Affairs and vampire teddy bear; Official Dungeon Keeper and Big Bad.
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To: Director of Public Safety Subject: Request for the use of the Hole Bot
Mam, since the Riley-shaped Fungus demon has been sighted in the daylight, and doesn't seem any longer contained within Gutter Sector 74, I request the use of the Hole Bot, to seek and close any loopholes from where the Riley-shaped Fungus demon could have escaped from.
Furthermore I request the approve of the immediate and painful death of the Riley-shaped Fungus demon, for it has annoyed me long enough now, and the recent attack against our loyal member, and the resulting danger in which his pet is, has shown that we can no longer tolerate any actions from this hideous beast.
For this case, I suggest we get out our medieval weaponry, and use the flails and axes that we have to hurt the Riley-shaped Fungus demon a lot before we finish it off with an injection or our newly developed anti-fungus bacteria. I've been told that the bacteria will first disable all movement of the target by severing all nerves to the muscles, but not those from the muscles, which will ensure that it still feels the full load of pain, and then slowly, from the tips of every nerve ending to the cell, will eat it up from the inside.
I suggest that everybody brings a pair of ear plugs to the scream concert the Riley-shaped Fungus demon will present in it's last few hours. I'm sure this should be a pleasant show, and I hope that we can get enough Gutter members together to enjoy the final decease of this annoying being.
Regards
Quin
Chief of Security of the Senior Executive Committee of List Gutter Affairs and Wet Noodle Master of the Universe Post message: buffyloveswillow@xxxxxxxxxxx Subscribe: buffyloveswillow-subscribe@xxxxxxxxxxx Unsubscribe: buffyloveswillow-unsubscribe@xxxxxxxxxxx List owner: buffyloveswillow-owner@xxxxxxxxxxx Shortcut URL to this page: http://www.egroups.com/group/buffyloveswillow Offical archive for the list: http://www.geocities.com/slayerhacker/ |